Chapter Text
Ever since what happened yesterday, I’ve been really worried about Shuu’s situation. I tossed and turned all night, picturing a thousand possible scenes playing out in his life: was he dealing with family drama? That much is sure, since he didn’t want to head home early… But what kind of trouble? What if it’s something else entirely? Like, with some folks he runs with on the streets? Or maybe… And he kept spinning more and more what-ifs in his head.
Tooru, already perched at his desk in the dim, sparsely filled classroom, was lost in his thoughts once again. He’d shown up early because he’d woken up before his usual time and had nothing else to do at home but get ready for school.
At that moment, only Hori and Sengoku were there, both hunched over their desks, hashing out some activity from the previous day in a tone that ping-ponged between her impatience and his futile effort to seem organized. Tooru didn’t pay enough attention to know what it was about—nor did he want to. The truth was, he wasn’t in the mood to deal with a lot of people around him that morning, considering that one person was already taking up all the space in his mind.
As time went on, more students began to enter; desks scraped, backpacks thudded to the floor, and chatty voices slowly filled the room until it lost that brief, cool early-morning calm.
Remi burst in, chattering nonstop even before she crossed the threshold, while Sakura trotted alongside, struggling to match her friend’s rapid-fire pace. Yanagi glided in, looking neat as a pin, clutching a bag sporting the logo of the new manga shop down the street. Miyamura slipped by more quietly, his shoulders hunched as if he wanted to take up as little as possible; Yuki slid in soon after, tugging the strap of her backpack and giving the room a quick scan.
Still no sign of Shuu.
Tooru was already fidgety; he waited anxiously for the green-haired boy’s arrival, watching the door more than the friends forming a chatty circle right beside him. He wanted to know how Shuu would act from there on out; he was worried—and at the same time, curious.
Seriously, why is he taking so long? In about five minutes the teacher will come in and he’ll be late! Could it have something to do with what happened yesterday? And so, he continued in his daydreams until he heard the door open once more, immediately turning his gaze to that spot—once again—hoping to see him walk in.
And that’s exactly what happened; it looked like an identical reenactment of how Shuu had entered the room the day before: his bag slipping off his shoulder, a huge smile, a voice that seemed to materialize and fill the entire space all at once, and his usual liveliness, striking up more conversations than he could actually sustain, all while striding over to his desk.
No doubt about it—Shuu Iura had arrived.
“Ishikawaaaaa!” When he finally reached his own desk, he dropped his things and shouted. Apparently, it was his turn to get Shuu’s attention.
“Not this again?” Tooru shot back in a slightly sharp tone, but deep down he was relieved and a tiny smile flickered at the corner of his mouth.
At Tooru’s words, Shuu raised an eyebrow and fired back.
“What do you mean?
“About what I said yesterday, you know? That you could chill out around me and stuff...” Maybe he was so tired that he doesn’t remember all the details... he thought.
“I don’t get it. You could be more specific sometimes, right?”
Until that second he hadn’t been looking at his friend head-on, but now he locked eyes with him, reading every shift of expression, trying to figure out what was going on inside his head.
“I can’t be any more specific than that. Yesterday, we were literally~” He trailed off, his cheeks warming a bit as he looked away toward the window.
There’s no way to forget that, right? It’s just not possible…
A shock shot through Tooru’s chest at the thought; it felt like the worst thing imaginable.
He was scared.
“What are you talking about?” Shuu says, scratching his chin, acting all deep. “You okay?”
Tooru scowls, the unease he’d felt all morning pooling like a cold knot in his stomach, made worse by Shuu’s off-kilter mood.
“‘What are you talking about’ my ass! Don’t make stuff up—you know exactly what I’m talking about. Yesterday you said that~”
“I didn’t say anything yesterday, Ishikawa,” he cuts in, already grinning again, his tone teasing. “Hello-oo, Earth calling Ishikawa, wake up from your daydream!”
A shiver raced down Tooru’s spine; he’d never expected this reaction. What was the point of all their earlier words and gestures, then? He slammed his palms on the table and jumped to his feet, ready to confront his friend.
“Huh, what the heck do you mean?! You’re telling me you forgot everything? What’s your problem?!” He got more riled up than he meant to, drawing stares from everyone around them. Shuu hammed it up, striking the most over-the-top pose of his life.
Tooru glanced to the side right after, meeting the stares of his friends, who until then had been thoroughly engrossed in talking about something he wouldn’t easily recall.
Shit.
“Hey, what happened, Tooru?” Hori was the first to ask; she always was.
“I’m guessing he got mad at Iura?” Remi, hand clapped over her mouth, giggles and turns toward Sengoku, whispering a little too loudly.
“How the heck should I know? Ask him yourself.” Sengoku replies, voice as cold as ice.
Tooru, not sure how to answer, just sat back down, slipped on an earbud, and tried to tune out his classmates. He was already feeling off, and with Shuu acting like he’d lost his memory, Tooru didn’t have the energy to cook up an excuse or dodge any more questions.
Shuu had already slipped out of the scene; the second Tooru looked away, he sauntered off to chat with a bunch of guys in the hallway. But it didn’t take long for the tallest guy’s attention to snap back to Shuu. He was pulling the same old act, like he honestly didn’t remember a thing, rattling everyone who walked past.
“Ah, it’s Iura, right, guys? He makes new enemies every day,” said Yuki, who managed to pull the two friends out of the spotlight, having overheard their brief exchange and already understanding everything.
His comment drew hearty laughs from the rest of the group, bringing them back to the previous topic.
A few minutes later the stragglers poured back in, trailing Professor Yasuda with his usual stack of papers under one arm. Class started, but Tooru couldn’t focus on a word the teacher wrote on the blackboard; he was fixated on Shuu. The troublemaker was acting like his old self, bouncing with energy, but…
Something was starting to click for Tooru.
The bright grin that usually lit up Shuu’s face stalled for a split second. The smile that never left his lips faded for a split second. His easy, bouncy vibe dropped away—just for a split second. His features went totally blank... All for a mere split second.
That was happening again, right before his eyes, but this time it felt sharper, more intense. I’d give anything to know what he’s thinking right now…
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The second the bell clanged for recess, most kids bolted for the cafeteria like a pack of kids chasing the lunch lady. Tooru, still mulling over whether to ask Shuu one last time, looked up just in time to see his friend weaving through the crowd, knocking shoulders with a couple of their buddies as he headed for the door. Meanwhile, Tooru wandered over to the same spot, still stuck in the heavy thoughts that had been nagging him since morning.
When he finally reaches the courtyard where the cafeteria stands, Tooru sees his usual crew, already huddled together, chatting and laughing under a spreading tree on one of the rough stone benches. And, as always, Shuu is the loud center of their little corner of the world, whooping and flailing his arms in the air like a kid on stage.
The first person to spot the purplish’s approach, to absolutely no one’s surprise, was Yuki, who made a point of glancing in his direction from across the yard, waving and calling his name, her voice cutting through the chatter like a bright knife, pulling every pair of eyes onto her and inviting him to join them. Tooru obliged at once, sliding onto the bench between Yuki and Miyamura, —a spot that seemed cut out just for the lanky kid.
As soon as he arrived, he said hi to everyone quickly and started listening, swapping a few words with Yuki.
“Yuki, I—”
“It’s okay, relax…,” she says, cutting him off. “I already figured it out.”
“Hm.” Seriously, how does she pick up on things like that?! He thought indignantly; if his blonde friend wasn’t some kind of genius, he swore he’d throw himself off a cliff.
“Now he’s recounting the day he had to stick up for two friends against a bully...” she whispered close to his ear, and the warm breath sent a shiver down Tooru’s spine, snapping his focus onto the story unfolding beside him.
“...and that’s when I said: ‘Hey, fuck off! Don’t you get it? Nobody here asked for your crap! Get lost!’” Shuu boomed, striking silly poses and dropping his voice for extra drama.
Yanagi and Miyamura wore wide-eyed shock, like he’d pulled off some huge feat; Remi burst into laughter, holding her aching stomach and leaning forward; Hori and Sengoku looked totally unbothered, like the whole scene was background noise; Sakura patted her pink-haired friend’s back, who was practically vibrating with laughter; and Yuki kept a steady gaze on everything—even on Tooru sometimes—chipping in comments over Shuu’s shtick.
“Wow... Hah... That was really good... Ahahah~,” Remi gasped, her words cut off by deep sighs and laughter as Sakura soothed her back, unable to string together a full sentence.
“Sometimes I wonder where Iura finds the guts to say exactly what needs to be said at the right moment... I could never even form the sentence in my mind.” Yanagi says, clapping his hands while still looking impressed at his friend beside him.
“He’s amazing! A hero!” Miyamura adds, his eyes shining.
“He’s just a loudmouth, that’s all,” Hori snaps, his voice sharp as a razor. “He could’ve kept his mouth shut and let the whole thing die right there; the guy was already heading out.”
“He needed to hear some home truths!” Shuu shouts, fists clenched in the air like a manga vigilante.
“You’re the one who was going to hear the sound of his fists on your face; I could just imagine the beating you’d get from here.” Hori finally finishes verbally attacking the green-haired guy.
Yuki, who had just been listening, puts her hand over her mouth and lets out a high-pitched giggle before speaking.
“Still, it was funny—we have to admit that.”
“Whether it was funny or not doesn’t matter here. If he’d told a teacher, it would’ve been way more satisfying—picture that bully’s face as he gets a few days’ suspension and maybe even a note for his parents to sign, and~.” Sengoku droned on, trying to sound like the perfect student-council president, but he trailed off and finally fell silent when he felt all those eyes boring into him.
Everyone stares at him with disappointed eyes.
“Man, you’re an expert at killing the mood, you know?” Once again, Hori speaks up and scolds someone in the group; this time, however, her words hit harder, painting a bright red target on Sengoku’s forehead.
“WHAT? BUT YOU SAID IT TOO~”
“Yeah, president, you sucked the fun out of a really lively chat...” This time, Yanagi spoke up, and that was the last straw—everyone else instantly chose sides, and it wasn’t Sengoku’s. The comment left the poor guy with a crushed look on his face.
“Hey, Sengoku...try harder, try harder...” Yuki chimes in, and the group falls back into easy chatter, laughing a few more times at Sengoku as he keeps trying to apologize—which only gives them another excuse to rib the poor guy.
Until that moment, Tooru had been sitting back, taking in every word and watching Shuu’s every little gesture. Just like he’d guessed, Shuu was still showing his “cracks”; the only difference was that these moments were getting stronger and longer, stretching well past that quick one-second flash. He seemed like a house that could crumble at the slightest puff of wind.
He zoned out for a moment, and when he snapped back, Shuu had stopped talking, stopped performing, stopped drawing any attention at all. He was just… there, taking up space.
He kept his gaze fixed on the sky, his eyelids half-closed and a pitifully tired expression on his face. Still, nobody seemed to notice what was happening right before their eyes—except for Yuki, whose stare stayed locked on Tooru.
“Yuki, I don’t get it...” He leaned in and whispered, getting the reply in a heartbeat. His face was a mask of total confusion and fear—he had no idea what to do.
“Looks like he just wanted to keep hiding...”
The answer hit Tooru like a sniper’s bullet, blasting away almost every doubt. Of course! How did I not see that? I must be fried... But now…
“Now, you have to pry the reason out of him... somehow.” The blonde added, as if she could read his friend’s mind.
He was about to press Yuki for more, but a louder interruption cut him off—Shuu, back in full hyper mode, leaping to his feet so fast everyone’s heads whipped around.
“Uh… I’m going to go buy some drinks. Do you guys want anything?” he asked, looking a little restless.
“I’ll have a strawberry soda!” Remi requested, her eyes lighting up.
“Me too!” Hori chimed in.
“Get me an iced tea, please.” Yanagi asked with his usual calm politeness.
One by one, the rest of the group called out their choices, and Shuu tapped them into his phone so nothing would slip his mind.
“All right, got it! I’m off! Bye-bye!” And he took off at full speed, as if the vending machine were the last stop on Earth.
Tooru couldn’t put his finger on what he was feeling; he just knew something was off, really off. His odd reaction… the way he’d bolted, grabbing the first excuse he could…
When he looked back at his friends, who were already chatting away as if nothing had happened, Yuki gave him another piercing stare and tilted his chin toward the direction Shuu had disappeared. It didn’t take a genius to read between the lines. Tooru should go after him right away and use this chance to finally ask why Shuu was pushing himself so hard over something that was clearly wearing him out.
He came up with the most basic excuse he could think of to toss to his classmates before leaping to his feet and racing out of the courtyard himself.
“I-I’m going to help him bring the drinks!” With that, he took off for the spot where he knew his friend would be, earning a bunch of stares as he left and along the way—mostly because he was flying down the hall, even though there was plenty of time before the break ended.
-----------------
As he got close to where Shuu had bolted to, he saw the drink machine in that corner of the courtyard, humming softly and giving off a faint glow that fought against the harsh sunlight. Out of breath, Tooru rested his hands on his knees, leaned forward a bit, and quickly scanned the surroundings, looking for his friend. The effort was in vain, as the place was completely empty—which was rare, considering they were still in the middle of recess.
Did he go to another machine? Tooru wondered, almost giving up on the idea that Shuu was there.
But the second he turned to leave, he caught a sound—a voice, faint and choked up, mumbling some song.
“ ♪ I hope all... my days... ♪ ”
He couldn’t recognize the voice from a distance, but he had to admit: it was beautiful.
“ ♪ Will be lit... by your face! ♪ ”
That soft tune tickled Tooru’s curiosity, and as he scanned the area again, he realized that, in his rush to find the green-haired boy, he’d almost overlooked a narrow, dim alley lined with smelly trash bins. It sat between a school building and the chain-link fence that ringed the campus.
Glancing at the alley, he realized he’d been there before with his childhood friend. It was one of the best spots to hide and skip class.
I can’t believe I didn’t recognize this alley before—could it be... is he the one here?
He wondered to himself, but the stranger, still singing, dropped his voice even lower—it had already been soft—and the sudden change snapped Tooru out of his daydream and made him inch toward the mouth of the alley.
“ ♪ I don’t wanna be old... or sleep alone... ♪ ”
He paused when he was near enough to hear more clearly, and to his surprise, he knew that voice: it was definitely him. Still, he waited a few more seconds; he wanted to listen a little longer.
“ ♪ An empty house... is not a home! ♪ ”
“ ♪ I don’t wanna be old… or feel afraid… ♪ ”
He let the short lines roll around in his head, his face calm and his eyes far away, like a song so sad it makes your heart ache just by hearing it. I had no idea he liked that kind of tune... What else is he keeping from me? These thoughts swirled in Tooru’s head for those few seconds; he planned to stay put and hear the rest of the song, but now the singing had stopped; the voice in the alley was silent.
Taking a deep breath, he stepped inside the tight, dim space; almost at once, his violet eyes met the bright lime-green gaze of Shuu Iura.
He was sitting on the ground, curled up and hugging his knees, his cheeks glistening with fresh tears, eyes clouded with sadness, a tired look on his face, and headphones hanging around his neck—proof that he’d been lost in song.
Tooru just stood there, staring for a full minute.
The sight hit him hard: his friend—usually so lively, smiling, and spontaneous—now crumpled up and clearly hurting. This was totally new. It’s one thing to catch him worn out from the daily grind or tired of keeping up a cheerful act; everyone gets tired sometimes. But this was totally different; he was there, breaking down in tears and alone—something much deeper was certainly going on, and Tooru would do everything in his power to help him.
“Shuu?” The taller one called out, finally breaking the silence between them.
The greenie boy tried to disappear, yanking his coat hood over his head and turning his face to the grimy wall, but it was too late; Tooru had already seen him and was closing in. When he got close enough to touch the other’s side, he plopped down next to Shuu.
Not sure what to say, he blurted out the first thing that popped into his head, just to get the conversation going.
“Your voice, it’s beautiful…”, he mumbled, feeling awkward, and the other kid whipped his head around to look at him. “You s-should sing more…”, his voice wobbled on the last word.
The compliment made Shuu’s cheeks glow a soft pink, yet he still said nothing.
Seeing how hard it was to get him to open up, Tooru kept throwing out any idea that popped into his head.
“And what’s with this song? It sounds pretty sappy… I didn’t know you listened to music like this…”, and this time, he got an answer.
“I-I sing songs like this when I’m alone… it calms me down a bit.” Shuu said, his voice rough and still choked up. “This one’s called ‘Atlantic’ by Keane…,” he mumbled, turning his face away again, looking a little uncomfortable.
Tooru was still stunned, trying to collect his thoughts, and in another try to keep the chat going, he opened his mouth again.
“And what’s this song about?” he asked in a calmer tone, doing his best to help his friend relax.
“Ah, how do I explain…?” He rolled his eyes and scratched the back of his head, pausing a few seconds before meeting Tooru’s gaze again—he was choosing his words with care.
“It’s a song about being afraid of feeling isolated and not wanting to get older…” He paused for a moment, as if deciding whether to keep going or just let the conversation end there.
He tilted his head back to gaze at the sky once more, admiring the vast sea of clouds dissolving into whimsical shapes against the boundless azure expanse, the graceful, free flight of a few birds tracing ephemeral silhouettes above their heads, and the rays of sunlight that cast sharp beams into the air, cutting through the dense silhouette of the building next door, which, by obscuring the sun, allowed only a single, intense golden beam to escape through its gap, striking his face. He was gathering the strength to continue speaking from where he had left off.
Amid the swirl of doubts, the previous day came rushing back the moment he looked at Tooru again.
The weariness eating him up inside as he kept up a loud act day after day, mixed with his raw vulnerability spilling over right then, plus the warm memory of a friend who felt so welcoming and deeply caring, acted as the trigger. All of this gave Shuu the final push he needed to finally start opening up.
If it’s him, I can tell him, right? He’ll back me up, won’t he? He thought.
He held tight to those thoughts before speaking, like they were a lifeline, strong enough to pull him out of the deep hole he was in—his only shot at escape.
Meanwhile, Tooru took in a different scene: the greenie one beside him.
He checked out his posture, now more relaxed, with his legs stretched out in front of him and his knees gently splayed to the sides. He noticed his friend’s hands, which, dropping to his chest, fiddled with the coat’s drawstrings in a pure reflex of nervousness. Higher up, the thick mass of green hair piled up on the boy’s forehead due to the pressure the hood exerted on it. His eyes, half-closed, stared up at the sky, their pupils turning a warm amber as the sun glinted inside them. Finally, Tooru noticed the tightly pressed lips and the soft blush on his cheeks—little touches that shattered the calm mask Shuu wore at first glance.
A sudden, quick blush rose to Tooru’s face—why was he suddenly noticing so many details about his longtime friend? And why did these details grip him so much?
Shoving aside these inconclusive thoughts, he kept watching until the other boy snapped out of his daze and wrapped up his explanation.
“B-but for me… it also shows my…,” he paused for a second before finishing. “Fear of being all alone.” Finally, he spoke his mind, sharing his insecurities for the first time, while another solitary tear formed in the corner of his eye.
“Fear of being all alone”? Shuu Iura, the friend he’d met back in middle school, always the life of the party, surrounded by people—could he really be afraid of something like that? Since when? Why? How had that loud act fooled him so completely? And how had he spent so much time with Shuu without ever really seeing him? The questions spun in Tooru’s head as he tried to digest this new truth, his face wide-eyed and shocked.
The guy in the jacket, his jitters cranked up by the long wait for a reply, his mind racing with every possible grim reaction from the purple-haired kid, tried to steer the focus away from his own confession casually.
“It’s—it’s just that I kind of like to always interpret the meanings of songs in a way that’s more personal to me and...” Restless, he searched for words to soften the effect his little outburst might have had on Tooru, frantically fidgeting with his arms and shaking his head. Unable to continue his sentence any longer, he fell silent, holding still.
No use now... he already knows... he thought, feeling a sharp ache in his chest as he stared at the ground. What’s done is done…
Seconds ticked by, turning into minutes, there in absolute silence and awkward tension.
On one side, the emerald-haired boy was drowning in regret for having spilled his guts like that. All he could think about was vanishing from that dim alley so he wouldn’t have to meet Tooru’s stare, knowing that his usual spark had burned out completely; he couldn’t force a single smile or joke, not even if you paid him. He felt totally helpless and at a loss.
On the other side, Tooru was lost in his own head, trying to read Shuu like a blurry comic and searching for a line that might lighten the heavy mood so his friend could relax. He’d never been good at comforting people with words; he had no clue what to say right now.
Only the shrieking school bell, echoing down the block to announce the end of break, finally snapped the two teens back to reality, making them jump as if jolted awake—how long had they been stuck in that dim alley, anyway? The clang made Shuu shut his eyes tight, cower again, press his hands against his head, and start praying for a miracle that would wipe out the rest of the school day.
Tooru, watching the scene beside him, had a flash of inspiration and stood up in a single, determined movement, as if a lightbulb had gone off above his head.
“I’ll show you, you’ll never be alone.”
Tooru said with steady confidence, turning to the boy with emerald hair. When their eyes met again—those bright green irises—each of them felt pulled into the other’s deep gaze, forgetting about time for a quick second as Tooru reached out his hand. Shuu, shocked by the sudden vow, still felt doubts heavy on his heart. Tiny tears stubbornly blurred his vision, but as he stared at his childhood friend, something shifted. With no time to weigh the rules or think twice, his body reacted on its own: a shy, real smile finally broke through the gloom, lighting up his face just before he lifted his arm. Shuu took Tooru’s hand, pressing his fingers tight against Tooru’s as if gripping the last lifeline.
Feeling the firm, trembling touch returned, Tooru didn’t wait. He thrust his body backward and pulled Shuu in a single motion, forcing the emerald-haired boy to rise from the ground in a jolt.
“Run.” Tooru murmured, spinning on his heels.
And they ran.
They darted across the narrow alley, leaving behind the shrieking bell that still echoed through the school buildings, finally shattering the suffocating monotony of that routine. Tooru led the way, dragging Shuu through the dim shadows behind the gym, dodging the stares of teachers and inspectors, toward the battered metal fence that promised freedom. Their pounding footsteps echoed on the blacktop, mixing with Shuu’s gasping breath and the drumbeat of their racing hearts.
“Ahahahahah...!”
For the first time in years, the cheerful mask wasn’t needed to force a real laugh. Shuu felt his chest grow warm, not just from the effort of the desperate run, but from the nostalgia that washed over him the moment he realized they were actually running away from school. It was as if he had returned to his childhood days, when he would dash from an adult at bath time.
He felt alive.
Tooru noticed right away. He glanced back for half a second, just long enough to see his friend laugh so naturally, savoring the bright sound coming from his lips. That echo warmed his own chest, drawing a cheerful laugh from him that blended with the green-haired boy’s.
When they finally pushed through the back gate and hit the hot blacktop, Katagiri School faded from sight. Grinning like idiots and still holding hands tight, the two teens walked off into the afternoon that now belonged to them, leaving the what-ifs and the next day hanging in the wind.
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Meanwhile, not far from where Shuu and Tooru were standing, students were already heading back to their classrooms, turning the hallways into a noisy sea of chatter as the last few notes of the bell faded away. Amid never-ending chatter and the usual daily rush, a blonde girl in a uniform that was a bit too big for her strolled calmly toward her classroom, accompanied by a brunette and a girl with bright pink hair—the latter yapping nonstop about a new salon that was opening near her place.
The blonde, with her gaze lost as she stared out the window, briefly catches sight of two boys, running hand in hand with simple smiles on their faces—a detail that would have gone unnoticed if Yuki had not really made an effort to take in the boys.
Less than two seconds later, once the boys had vanished from sight, the pink-haired girl fell silent for a beat, then spoke up, voicing the thought that had just crossed Yuki’s mind.
“Hey, where’d Iura and Ishikawa go? I want my soda!” she calls, and Hori, standing right beside her, also looks deep in thought.
The blonde girl, with the sleeves of her sweater covering her hands, waits a moment before answering.
“I don’t think they went to buy the drinks, Remi…”