Chapter Text
They sit like that for a while. Ratio seems like he has no intention of moving, but Aventurine knows avoidance when he sees it. It wouldn’t do well to be confrontational, however. “Ratio, have you eaten?”
Ratio nods, but does not speak. Aventurine pats his shoulder, a signal to get up. “Forgive me, but the chairs in your dining room are not designed for hugging,” Aventurine jests, a weak attempt to lighten the mood. “Is there anything you want me to do in particular?”
Ratio runs a hand through his hair. “…Perhaps just listen. I should discuss my feelings with somebody.” Ratio stares at the clock, getting lost in thought.
Aventurine grabs Ratio’s hand, forcing them to face each other briefly. “Doc, how about you go lay down, I’ll join you in a moment,” Aventurine softly offers.
Ratio tenses, squeezing Aventurine’s hand. He asks, “Why? What are you doing?” Aventurine rubs his thumb over Ratio’s hand.
“I‘ll make you some tea. I also want to give you privacy to change into pajamas, alright?” continues Aventurine. Ratio hums in affirmation, walking with a steady pace down the hall.
***
Ratio is laying in bed, resting on his arm. His pajamas consist of a soft pair of pants, and no shirt; hopefully comfortable enough to override the dread that will prevent him from sleeping. Usually he would read something to clear his head, but it doesn’t feel right to. Doomscrolling would also be no help, given how the forums he frequents are filled with what he does not wish to face.
Aventurine walks in with their tea, jumping at the sight of Ratio shirtless, with seemingly nothing else. Quicker than before, he sets the tea down on the nightstand, sitting on the side of the bed. “This err, wasn’t what I meant when I implied I wanted to join you in bed,” Aventurine states, cheeks flushed.
Ratio stares at the flustered Aventurine. “You do know I have pants on, right?” His frustration is making Ratio smile with amusement.
Aventurine lets out a dramatic sigh of relief, hand to his chest and all, “I didn’t, actually. That helps.” he grabs the tea off the nightstand, taking care not to spill any on the bed. “Anyway— your tea, hon.”
Ratio accepts the cup, blowing on it before he sips it. “Hon?” he questions.
Aventurine’s hands shoot up defensively, backtracking, “AS IN— the tea has honey. Yeah.” Aventurine’s cheeks grow redder, perhaps a bit antsy from earlier.
Ratio brings a hand up to rest on Aventurine’s shoulder. “I know I skipped out on a proper date earlier, but I don’t mind you being romantic, you know,” He notes, meeting Aventurine’s gaze.
Aventurine takes a sip of his tea, setting it down on the nightstand for a moment. “Gotchya. I— I still think you should address what you’re feeling though. I’m listening.”
Ratio sets his on the other nightstand, moving to lay in the position he was in when Aventurine walked in. “…Right. Could you ask questions to get me started?” he asks, voice softer.
Aventurine begins, “How did you find out?” he sits, pillow behind him keeping him propped up.
Ratio eyes Aventurine up and down, staying in his spot for now. “She had been absent a few days in a row. I sent an email, and her parents ended up replying and explaining.”
“Was she a good student?” Aventurine asks.
“Not particularly.” Aventurine snorted, but apologizes quickly. Ratio snorts, before redirecting, “I mean, she definitely tried most days, but she had struggles in certain parts and was too stubborn to ask for my help. I— I wish she did. I wish she could’ve asked for help. From anybody.” Ratio grips the blanket in his hand, an improvised stress ball.
“I understand.” Aventurine pauses for a moment, thinking of more to say. He continues, “Did she ever participate in any discussion?”
“Towards the beginning of the semester, yes. She was quite amusing. I’m not sure how to feel about knowing that I hear any more remarks from her. She was witty, even if she denied it.” Ratio stares off, seeming to drift inside his own head.
He is dragged back into the real world when Aventurine inquires, “…Is this your first student you’ve lost?”
“No. This is my fourth. I—“ Ratio cuts himself off, gripping the blanket tighter. Aventurine opens his arms, an offer to continue what he stopped earlier. Ratio takes the opportunity, ear resting right on Aventurine’s heart. Aventurine brings his hand up to stroke Ratio’s hair, other arm holding him in place. Ratio takes a deep breath, continuing, “I never forget them, I don’t think I ever will.”
“As long as you tell me about each one, I’ll remember too,” Aventurine comments. “That way as long as we’re around, they’ll live on in memory, yeah?”
Ratio gasps softly, shoulders shaking. “That’s— thank you, Aventurine. That means more than you know.”
Aventurine attempts to shift his body downwards so that he can lay down, to little success. “Mhm. Tell me more about her.” Ratio sits up briefly, allowing for the change in position.
Ratio smiles softly, “Okay. Tell me when to stop.”
“I won’t,” Aventurine promises.