Chapter Text
Anderson and Udina were on the dock waiting for her when their small party arrived. Shepard figured she'd have enough time to get through this conversation before Admiral Kahoku showed up.
“Go on,” she told Jenkins. “Go get your things.”
Jenkins clenched his teeth briefly but moved to board the ship without a word.
“I've got big news for you Shepard,” Udina said and Shepard winced.
Right. Captain Anderson lost out on the biggest posting of a lifetime because, politics. The necessity of it had justified it to her in the end, but this was a nasty reminder that it hadn't been fair to Anderson in the least.
“Captain Anderson is stepping down as commanding officer of the Normandy,” the politician said. “The ship is yours now.”
Anderson gave a quick nod, both of assurance and approval. “She's quick and quiet, and you know the crew,” he said. “Perfect ship for a spectre. Treat her well, Commander.”
“You know I will,” Shepard said. “I know this can't have been an easy decision.”
Anderson's composure cracked just enough to show her his disappointment, or maybe she knew him well enough to see it.
“No,” he said. “But it is the right one. You need your own ship. A spectre can't answer to anyone but the Council. And it's time for me to step down.”
“Captain, that may be how you feel now,” Shepard said, knowing she might be treading on thin ice. “But you can't let your past with Saren determine your career path from here. Sure I know some doors might be closed now, but don't go closing other doors on yourself because you think you should. You have plenty more to offer to the Alliance, to the galaxy.”
Here, Anderson's usual military blank composure broke and a mixture of fond exasperation and gratitude crossed his features before he could lock it down. “I suppose it's too late to write you up for insubordination,” he said fondly.
“Sure,” Shepard sassed him, then remembered that Udina was still standing there. “Um, what leads do we have on... Saren?” Smooth.
Anderson's gaze flickered briefly towards Udina who was all puffed up with his self importance after having robbed a man of the opportunity of a lifetime. “Saren's gone,” the Captain said. “Don't even try to find him,” he said. “But we know what he's after: the conduit. He's got his Geth scouring the traverse looking for clues.”
“We had reports of Geth in the Feros system shortly before our colony there dropped out of contact,” Udina said, picking up the thread. “And there have been sightings around Noveria.”
“Find out what Saren was after on Feros and Noveria,” Anderson said. “Maybe you can figure out where the conduit is before he does.”
Udina nodded in agreement. “That might also give you time to figure out what it is, and why Saren wants it enough to kill for it,” he said.
Shepard had to resist the urge to roll her eyes again. For as often as she exercised this restraint, she thought it might make sense if it got a bit easier each time. It wasn't. “Whatever Saren is up to,” she said. “I'll stop him.”
Anderson nodded in acknowledgment of what she wasn't saying.
“We have one more lead,” Udina continued. “Though the council was somewhat vague on the details. They seem to think there is an asset you need to acquire in the Artemis Tau cluster.”
Liara.
“Sounds like I should check in with them about that one,” Shepard said. “In case they have any more details.”
“Remember, Commander,” Udina said. “You may be a spectre now, but your actions still reflect on on humanity as a whole. You make a mess and I get stuck cleaning it up.”
“Udina,” Shepard said. “I'm walking into a bit of an unknown here. I'm not always going to have the time or the option to step carefully. If I have to blow up a historically important ruin to save an orphanage, I'm not going to hesitate. Your job is to get people focused on the good. Figure out how to spin my actions in the best light you can. Why am I telling you this? Isn't this part of your job description?”
Udina glared at her, and she could swear she heard his teeth creaking. “Shepard!” he snarled.
Anderson was beginning to look a bit alarmed.
Udina jabbed a finger at her. “You ought to be showing a bit more gratitude, Commander,” he said. “It was my efforts that got you into the spectres. I put your name forward, I vetted the best parts of your service record to put before the council-!”
Shepard took two lightening quick steps, closing the distance between them before anyone even had the time to react. Udina's eyes went wide with alarm, but he froze in a standing panic.
“Do you know what it smells like when your squads' bodies are scattered around you and melting in thresher maw acid?” Shepard hissed. “Have you ever looked a man in the eyes before shooting him in the head? Were you there on Eden Prime to see the scorched corpses of innocent colonists? Did you gun down the Geth that killed them? I am the one who built that service record! All you did was push a couple of papers. So, don't you ever get the mistaken idea that I owe you anything. Do I make myself clear?”
Udina must have finally seen the death in Shepard's eyes. He backed off and went silent.
Anderson put a hand on Shepard's shoulder, gently tugging her back from the cowed and nervous ambassador. “I think that's enough, Shepard,” he said quietly. “You made your point.”
“I have a meeting to get to,” Udina muttered and turned to go. The elevator doors closed on the politician, and he disappeared as the lift took him upward.
Anderson shook his head. “A week ago, you'd have never pulled a stunt like that,” he said and though the words were a bit recriminating, there was a note of admiration in his voice. “Where the hell is this coming from, Shepard?”
“I got used to yelling at Krogan warlords, Turian Primarchs, and the entire Quarian flotilla,” Shepard said. “Oh. The Dalatrass too. Udina's small news next to them. Apparently calling everyone out on their pride and stupidity all at once goes a long way toward building alliances.”
Anderson raised his eyebrows skeptically.
“But only if I have a couple billion big fat 'I told you so's actively burning their planets,” she added with a wince.
“You were still cobbling together alliances while the Reapers were actively exterminating us?” Anderson said.
“The Salarians are going to be a problem,” Shepard said. “Especially when I start calling for a cure for the Krogan genophage.”
“Thanks for the warning,” Anderson said.
The elevator pinged again. It was Admiral Kahoku.
“Admiral Anderson,” he said. “Commander Shepard.”
“Admiral Kahoku,” Anderson said. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”
“The Commander invited me to a tour of the Normandy,” he said. “I imagine you'd prefer I run the impending inspection, Admiral.”
Anderson shot Shepard another look. “The Normandy is no longer under my command,” he said. “This ship is Commander Shepard's now,” he said. “The crew answers to her.”
“This only just happened, sir,” Shepard said, turning to address Kahoku. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the impending change of command.”
“It was a bit sudden,” Anderson said. “I didn't expect to have to step down so soon.”
Kahoku chuckled softly. “Slowing down isn't such a bad thing, Anderson,” he said.
“Says the man with a wife and three children,” Anderson said, expression turning to a smile as he reached out to shake Kahoku's hand in greeting. “Despite the sudden course change, nothing has slowed down for me yet. I'll let you to turn to business.” He turned to Shepard again. “God speed, Commander.”
“Thank you sir,” Shepard said. “I'll stay in touch.”
Kahoku turned to view the Normandy, his gaze tracing the gracefully curved hull that set it apart from other Alliance service ships. “She's a looker isn't she,” he said.
“Not just a pretty face either,” Shepard said with a touch of pride. “Come on, I'll introduce you to the crew.”
They walked the ship, and with every word they exchanged, Shepard grew more and more determined to keep the man alive. She planned the tour so that it ended in the conference room.
Kahoku was a discerning man. He knew she wanted to discuss his missing men and he sensed that this was the location and time she'd chosen for it. Gesturing to one of the chairs ringing the perimeter of the room, he sat down with her, bracing an elbow against one of the arm rests.
“So,” he said. “My missing men.”
“They ran into a thresher maw,” Shepard told him.
“A thresher maw?!” Kahoku said in clear disbelief. “That's not-! My men wouldn't just stumble into a thresher nest. Not the entire unit!”
“They were lured there with an Alliance distress beacon,” Shepard said. “It was placed perfectly so they'd land right beside the thresher nest.”
Kahoku closed his eyes for a second. “Dammit,” he said quietly. When he looked back up at Shepard, she could see the grief in his eyes. “I had a bad feeling about this ever since my team disappeared. An Alliance beacon used as bait. My unit wiped out, and no one seems to know anything about it. Commander, I appreciate you approaching me about this. Now I need to do my part. The families of those marines deserve to know why they died.”
“Actually sir,” Shepard said. “That's exactly what I don't want you to do. I know you want justice for your men and they deserve it.”
“But?” Kahoku asked.
“It's Cerberus, sir,” Shepard told him. “I can't tell you how I know this, and frankly just telling you this much might be putting you in danger.”
Kahoku sat back in his chair as the realization that this was much bigger than he'd originally thought sank in. If he went digging, he'd be going up against an entire terrorist cell by himself. He leaned forward again after a second, bracing both elbows on his knees as he shook his head slowly.
Shepard pursed her lips. “We will get justice for them,” she said firmly. “Cerberus will bleed for this. But not yet. And quite frankly sir. I don't want you to have anything to do with it. Like Anderson said. A wife and three kids. How old are they now?”
“My oldest is seven,” Kahoku said slowly. “My youngest... isn't even a year old yet.”
“I don't want you to be another letter home,” Shepard said.
Kahoku's features scrunched up in a mixture of anger, indignation and grief. The grief won. “I can't do that to my wife,” he whispered. “I have a responsibility to the Alliance, but...”
Shepard dared to put a hand on his arm briefly. “Let me be the instrument of your justice,” she said. “I know it's not the same, but I... don't have any children, for one.”
“I also just learned you're a spectre now,” Kahoku said. “Congratulations I suppose. You'll have resources. Permissions even the brass can't get...”
“Has Admiral Hackett contacted you about a transfer to Arcturus Station by any chance?” Shepard prodded him a bit.
Kahoku finally looked back up at her. “I take it you know what that's about?”
“They need you, sir,” Shepard said. “The Admiral will give you a full briefing once you're there. So, whaddya say?”
Kahoku sighed deeply. “You get me their dog tags,” he said. “And I'll go to Arcturus Station.”
Shepard leaned in to shake his hand. “You have a deal, sir.”
“Just be careful of that thresher maw,” he told her as he clasped her hand.
“It's nothing the Mako can't handle,” she assured him.
He shook his head. “I am a bit sorry to send you into that, Commander,” he said. “It's a bit too much like... Acuze.”
Shepard cut him a look. “There's a reason you're an Admiral, sir,” she said. “But a deal's a deal. No looking!”
“Find them and kill them, Shepard,” he said pushing himself to his feet. “They don't deserve a trial.”
Shepard stood as well. “Sir,” she said with a nod, it was a bit of a shocker coming from the 'nice' admiral, but then, he'd always been invested in his men. “I'll see you out sir,” Shepard said. “I'm sorry to rush things but I have a priority directive about Zhu's Hope on Feros.”
“I'll see myself out,” he said. “Get your crew ready to go. I need to see about transportation back to Arcturus, anyway.”
Nihlus nearly bumped into the Admiral on his way out of the conference room. The turian shouldered his way in with a set expression on his face.