Chapter Text
The moment Kaveh entered their home he was hit with with a wave of the warm air inside, contrasting the chilly night winds they had braved to get home. Kaveh yawned, the warmth reminding him how tired he truly was.
He tossed off his cape and shoes in the hallway and sighed, telling himself he would put them away properly tomorrow.
“Ugh. I’m so tired,” he complained, his eyelids heavy, “I think I’ll just go read a little and then head straight to-“ Kaveh froze, He had turned around while speaking only to see Alhaitham standing in the doorway staring at the ground, tears falling from his eyes. Kaveh furrowed his eyebrows, he almost did not believe the sight. Alhaitham stood completely still and quiet, the tears being the only indication that he was crying.
“Alhaitham?” Kaveh slowly walked towards him. His outstretched hand hesitated to hold him, he went to close the door behind Alhaitham and then turned towards him.
“What’s the matter?” He asked as softly as he could. This seemed to finally break Alhaitham, his silent tears turned into gentle sobs, and he covered his eyes with his hand, shoulders raised. Kaveh was stunned. Whatever he should do could not even pass his mind as it was filled with nothing but utter confusion at a sight he had never expected to see. As Alhaitham took a step in his direction, Kaveh broke free of his bafflement, reaching out and pulling Alhaitham in by the back of his head into a hug. Kaveh held him tightly, gently patting his back. He was still confused, utterly stunned, his eyebrows still not unfurrowing. This was so obscure he still needed time to take it in, but he could not leave Alhaitham standing there crying alone in the meantime.
Alhaitham seemed to slowly calm in his arms. Kaveh let go, trying to meet his eyes. But Alhaitham was looking at the ground, tears still running down his face. Kaveh thought hard, he held onto Alhaitham’s hand as he made a decision against all his better judgement.
Kaveh sat Alhaitham down on the edge of the bed, reaching down to wipe his tears. Kaveh turned towards his mirror started removing the clips from his hair.
Alhaitham sighed a long and shaky breath, trying to gather himself. Kaveh’s heart ached, he watched Alhaitham through the mirror, Alhaitham in this state was so far from how he usually seemed that it was near entrancing. He couldn't look away, every gaze an attempt to wrap his head around the sight. His back hunched and head hanging low, fidgeting with his own fingers.
“It’s my grandmother,” Alhaitham said, his eyes puffy, “when I heard that song I just started thinking about her.” He sat deflated, staring into space.
“I understand.” Kaveh truly did. Probably more than anyone else would. He turned around after having put his hair up and walked back over to Alhaitham.
“I always miss her, but it rarely hits me this hard at once. I don’t know.” Alhaitham scoffed at himself and wiped another tear from his face. His expression was utterly emptied of all emotion, even more so than his usual blank expression. He looked exhausted.
“You don’t need to explain yourself.” Kaveh said gently as he sat down on the other side of the bed, leaning against the headboard. His eyes stayed on Alhaitham for a moment, taking in the sight of this tall man sitting small, even from the back he looked miserable.
“I’m sorry.” Alhaitham said quietly, still not looking at Kaveh.
First thanks and now sorry? Alhaitham really had learned new words. Kaveh didn’t quite like the sound of this one, however. He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment as he collected himself. The silence seemed loud now, Kaveh ached to fill it but this was no time. His habit of going on the defensive and over-explainign himself t htis man seemed not so easily broken, even when he had nothing to defend himself against.
“Don’t-“
Kaveh was interrupted as Alhaitham plopped his head down on his lap. His hand reaching out to gently hold on to his leg. Tears quickly stained his pants.
Kaveh couldn’t help but to smile down at him, a long dead instinct revived in just a moment.
“I haven’t seen you cry since we studied at the Akademiya.” He teased, wiping another tear from Alhaitham’s cheek before it could reach his pants.
“I never cried at the Akademiya.” Alhaitham said defiantly, though his shaky voice and occasional sniffles made it an absurd contrast. Kaveh scoffed softly.
“Oh, yes you did. Once, you don’t remember?”
Alhaitham was silent for a moment.
“No, I didn’t. I don’t believe you.”
“Uh, hey! You don’t get to claim I’m lying just because you don’t remember something.”
“Maybe you’re misremembering.”
“Yeah, right…”
Alhaitham closed his eyes, he sniffled, readjusting his position slightly.
Kaveh already understood. Alhaitham was tipsy, tired, and sad. All of his defenses were down, which was why Kaveh didn’t protest this absurd situation. For once in a very long while, he saw the junior he had once known in this man. He saw him, without words or arguments pelted at him to obstruct his view. His heart ached for Alhaitham, though he tried to ignore it. Kaveh reached out, playing with a few strands of Alhaitham’s hair as he picked up the book on his nightstand and started reading,
A while passed before Kaveh shifted his position slightly, but it did not help the alleviate the discomfort that had slowly crept into the muscles being pushed down by Alhaitham’s head. Kaveh had tried to ignore it for the sake of not disturbing Alhaitham but he couldn’t hold out for much longer.
“My legs gonna fall asleep.” Kaveh whispered, nudging Alhaitham who was half-dozing in his lap. Alhaitham begrudgingly lifted his head and got onto the bed properly, with a slightly disamused expression. Kaveh sighed, trying to gain feeling back into his leg. Just as he was starting to feel it again, Alhaitham reached over, wrapping his arms around Kaveh’s waist before he could protest.
“I-ughh, hey! What are you doing?”
“I’m tired, let's sleep.” Kaveh could feel Alhaitham’s breath against his chest as he spoke. The feeling gave him goosebumps.
Let’s? Kaveh was startled by the audacity. But he didn’t say it. He sighed woefully, and lied down, Alhaitham’s head tucked against his chest. He nuzzled into Alhaitham’s hair, despite himself. It smelled of padisarahs, Kaveh’s schampoo. Kaveh held back another scoff, if this was any other day he would have told Alhaitham off for using his stuff without asking. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Whatever.
He could hear Alhaitham’s breathing, and how it steadied as he fell asleep. The moment gave him slight pause, how did he end up in this situation, not just in bed with the man he could not find common ground with, but the whole story was absurd from the very beginning. He has befriended that odd antisocial boy back during his Akademiya days, despite everybody warning him. He had gained a friend that filled something that no one else at the Akademiya could, a mutual in intellect, a sweet guy wrapped in layers of disillusionment with the world. He had taken on a project with this friend, and he had ripped it to shreds and left it and the boy far behind. He had spent years haunted by this mistake, and somehow fate had given him a chance to meet him once again. To live with him. He had fought him everyday, and then ended up wrapping his arms around that crying boy.
Fate was on a power trip, taking the long way round, doing everything it could and shouldn’t. It was too absurd for words, or perhaps even thoughts. It was nothing he could ponder now, for he knew if he did so any further he might push Alhaitham off himself and run out the room, and this was not a state he’d want to leave in Alhaitham alone, so he pushed away the thought, just like the many others plagueing his mind. Kaveh placed his hands on Alhaitham’s back, tracing imaginary patterns, and fell asleep to the soft sound of Alhaitham’s unburdened breathing.
Kaveh woke up to find Alhaitham still in his arms. He tightened the embrace. “This will be the last time.”