Chapter Text
Hulk got out of the convertible stretch limo and looked uncertainly at the paparazzi lining the roped off red carpet leading to the ballroom and then turned back to lean loomingly over the remaining occupants of the vehicle. He asked Tony, "MY TIE STRAIGHT?"
"Yeah, it's fine." Tony grinned and patted at Hulk's chest, clothed in the palest peach silk. His tuxedo was a faintly dusty maroon, his shoes were glossy black, subtly elastic-sided, loafers (the dress shoes had 'pinched' and died a horrible death- Damon had frowned.) and his bow tie and cummerbund were peach with rather large white pin dots- on anyone else, they'd be polka dots. "You look great, go knock 'em dead."
"Not literally, Hulk," Steve said. Damon had made a not quite midnight blue tuxedo for him, and refused to let Tony's remarks about stars and stripes influence him. Steve looked fine. Really. As Tony had told him several times when they were leaving the Tower. Not at ALL like a dancing monkey.
Hulk huffed. "HULK KNOWS." He straightened and turned back to the carpet. He showed his teeth in a smile. They were perfectly polished. "HULK HERE. PARTY CAN START." He strode up the carpet, pausing to look at a tall female reporter. "YOU LOOK GOOD, TOO. NOT AS GOOD AS HULK, BUT GOOD." He threw his shoulders back and strutted into the newly raised doorway to the ballroom.
"Oh, my god, I've created a monster," Tony said, laughing. He put on his sunglasses and bounced out of the limo. His suit was made of a silver-gray that shifted tones from pink to blue to green. Damon had chided Tony on his peacockery, but that hadn't stopped him from delicately rolling the lapels and tapering the trousers to disguise Tony's lifts.
Steve sighed and offered his arm to Natasha like a gentleman. Natasha smiled sweetly at him as they went down the corridor together, her muted plum gown going very well with his outfit. She whispered without moving her lips, "This should be fun."
Clint and Thor exited the limo last. Damon had exclaimed in joy over the challenge of their biceps and produced a miracle of double-vented tuxedo sleeves for them. Clint had insisted on standard black and white, while Thor had been quite agreeable to perusing Damon's entire stock of fabric before settling on something that looked like woven gold. It wasn't meant for a tuxedo, which had thrilled Damon down to the core of his trend-setter heart. Thor had even let Damon devise a loop in the black satin cummerbund to hold Mjolnir, festively wrapped in gold ribbons around its leather.
Thor grinned broadly. "Let us feast and be merry, friends!" He waved at the paparazzi.
"Don't encourage them, Thor," Clint said.
***
"Where did Hulk learn to dance?" Clint asked. He was leaning up against the bar with Tony and Steve while Hulk rhumbaed. What looked like the entire female contingent of the Tall Club of NYC was dancing with him. Natasha was sitting on his shoulder, somehow managing to stay with him throughout all the dips and spins.
"I have...no idea," Tony said. "I offered to teach him." He tilted his sunglasses and looked at Steve. "I offered to teach you, too."
Steve shrugged and drank his Zombie. "I had this at the World's Fair," he said reminiscently, swirling the glass a little slower than Hulk was spinning the women clinging to his arms.
Thor had his own coterie of dancing partners. He wasn't rhumbaing, but no one seemed to mind.
"Oh," Tony sipped his scotch. "Brings back old times?"
"Yeah. I was sick as a dog." Steve drained his Zombie and put the glass down on a napkin. He leaned his elbows back against the bar. "The future's not half bad," he admitted. He pushed away from the bar and walked onto the dance floor. "Mind if I cut in?" he asked in a general sort of way.
"HULK NOT GREEDY." Hulk twirled the girl on the outermost edge of his swarm into Steve's arms.
She looked down at Steve and smiled. "You like big girls?"
"Always have," Steve said, and he began rhumbaing, gliding like his hips and spine were made of flexible steel.
Tony nearly choked on an ice cube. Clint helpfully whacked him on the back. "This is a pretty good party, after all," Clint said cheerfully. "It can't get much better than this."
"Oh, yeah? Challenge accepted." Tony made his way over to the DJ stand.
"Oh, no," Clint said very softly. "Don't do that, Tony." Then he grabbed a plate full of Swedish meatballs to eat while he waited to see what Tony had in mind.
The rhumba music died away. The dancers slowed to a stop and looked annoyed. Tony waved his arms imperiously. The DJ shrugged. Whodini's 'The freaks come out at night' blasted out. Tony yelled at Hulk, "Get your freak on, b-boy!"
Hulk looked puzzled for an instant. And then began breakin'. His tuxedo didn't survive hitting the floor. The floor didn't survive, either.
Hulk looked at the hole in the ballroom floor, and then he looked at Tony. "HOW HULK DANCE WITH GIRLS NOW?" He growled and his eyes were very green. "GIRLS NOT LIKE BUMPY FLOOR. HARD ON NICE SHOES."
"Thor will dance with you!" Thor cried out cheerily. He grabbed Hulk's arm.
Hulk punched Thor. Thor flew across the room, smashing into a chandelier along the way. He got up and felt his jaw, and then grinned. Steve stood in between them. "NO! Take it outside!" He pointed to the wide open doors leading to a meticulously tended garden.
"YES!" Thor swung Mjolnir, gold ribbons flapping, and flew out of the doors. Hulk followed, grumbling. All their dance partners ran out to claim good viewing spots.
Steve gave Tony a dirty look, but his dance partner grabbed his arm and tugged him along after them. Clint and Natasha strolled out, making bets.
Tony went back to the bar and leaned against it, laughing. "Best gala ever." He poured himself a scotch before he went out to watch Thor and Hulk break. Dancing would probably be in there somewhere, but definitely there would be breaking.