Chapter Text
“I-“ Buck stumbles, at a complete loss of words. He takes a second to study his sister. Her hair’s longer than last time, and she’s aged a bit. Not much, but she’s no longer the young adult waving goodbye to Buck. Her eyes are sunken in, and she has a sorrowful expression. “Maddie,” Buck repeats, though it is no longer framed as a question.
Before Buck has the opportunity to ask a question, Maddie talks. “Your building manager let me in. I said I was your sister and..”
“And he just believed you?” This concerns Buck slightly — he should mention that to the guy. Surely this is a safety issue. This time it was his sister, but next time? Buck’s not so sure.
“Having boobs doesn’t hurt,” Maddie jokes, and Buck smiles, despite all the negative emotions rushing through him.
“How’d you even know where I live?”
“Well first I went to the address the Christmas cards kept coming from and the guy said you were here.”
Buck frowns at this. He rarely got a response from his sister, to be honest, he wasn’t even sure she received all those letters. “So you did get those Christmas cards?”
Maddie pauses for a moment, a solemn look on her face, “I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch much lately.”
“Three years, Maddie. I haven’t heard from you in three years.”
“Yeah, I know. And it’s not what I wanted.”
Buck pauses for a moment, unsure of how to ask his next question. “So.. where is Doug?”
“Don’t know, don’t care.”
“You left him?” Buck asks, and he can feel his voice breaking at the words. He’s not sure of everything that went on in that marriage, but what he does know is that it wasn’t safe. And he’s spent everyday, in the back of his mind, since finding out about certain aspects, worrying about his sister; feeling sick to his stomach at the very thought that she was still there. Still stuck.
“Finally,” Maddie responds, and Buck can see the way her facade falters slightly. Her eyes glimmer just a bit more than normal — a tear threatening to break out. Buck frowns.
“Geez Mads. What took you so long?” He asks before he can stop himself. He winces slightly at the insensitive nature of the comment, but he can’t help but wonder.
“What can I say, Mom was right.”
“Do they know…?”
“No one knows. And please don’t tell them if they call,” and Buck nearly laughs at the request. He’s heard from his parents just as rarely as he has from his sister. He’s not even sure if they are still aware of his existence. “I don’t want anyone to know that I’m here,” Maddie continues.
“Kind of sounds like you’re hiding out.”
“No, more like,” a pause, “laying low.”
Buck doesn’t push the conversation further, despite his urge. He can tell Maddie doesn’t want to elaborate further, and Buck respects that.
“So, how have you been? You’re a teacher now, right?”
“Yup. Second grade,” Buck sighs, accepting the convention change.
“Can’t say I’m not surprised. Never expected you to work in a school after dedicating your youth to hating it,” Maddie laughs, her eyes crinkling in the corners.
“Same, honestly. Life is funny like that, I guess.”
“Yeah, tell me about it,” she huffs. “Any special ladies got your attention, these days?”
“Nah. Not really interested in dating anyone at the moment. Guess you could say I’m focusing on myself,” Buck grimaces.
“A teacher and single? Who even are you, Evan?” Maddie jokes.
“No idea,” He laughs. Maddie doesn’t call him Evan often, the name Buck actually originates from her, but hearing his first name always leaves him feeling sour — like a reminder of who he once was. He doesn’t hate that person, but he likes who he is now. And everytime he remembers his past self, it makes him feel mournful or sorry for himself. And he can’t say he enjoys that feeling.
“Guess you’re like a 2.0 now, huh?” Buck laughs at that comment. He likes the ring to that. 2.0. Like a Buck 2.0.
“So,” Buck starts after a short moment, attempting to reroute the conversation. “Are you going to be staying here? I don’t mind, but I don’t exactly have a second bedroom.”
“If that’s fine with you? I can always just get a hotel nearby until I find my own place here, but..” she trails off, and Buck can tell what she’s getting at. He’s always been able to read her like that, and vice versa. She doesn’t want to be alone, and Buck can relate to that.
“Of course it’s ok with me. I miss you, Mads. You can take my bed, I’m fine with the couch. It’s a pull-out, anyways.”
“Really? I don’t want to kick you out of your own bed.”
“It’s fine, really,” and he’s not lying. He can tell his sister needs right now. He’s not sure what that entails, but he’s happy to oblige. If her dark eye bags are not proof enough, the frown lines permanently marked onto her face are.
His house is pitch black by the time Maddie’s unpacked and sound asleep in his room. The built in bed pulled out from Buck’s couch is surprisingly comfortable, so he has nothing to complain about. He hadn’t had a couch since moving to LA up until last year, actually. It wasn’t until Karen practically forced him to that he caved and finally got one. Now, he’s quite thankful for Karen in that regard.
Unluckily however, he cannot fall asleep. So, he decides to ramble to Karen over text. It’s become a habit — middle of the night texts, rambling on when he can’t fall asleep. He doesn’t expect Karen to ever answer. However, she does every time — usually in the morning — indulging him on whatever tangent he chooses (in addition to telling him to get a diary.). Though this time, he gets a response immediately, much to his surprise.
He hearts that last message, dropping his phone down beside him.
Buck’s not sure on the exact time he fell asleep. All he remembers is rustling, unable to fall asleep for at least an hour after putting his phone down, and then waking up startled to the sound of movement.
It scares him slightly, a fear of an intruder arising in his mind. But he reminds himself pretty quickly of the actual situation. Maddie’s home. Which in turn explains why he’s on the couch instead of his bed.
He takes a moment to collect himself, stretching and checking the time. His alarm never went off, much to his confusion.
“Mads?” He calls out as he climbs from his spot on the pullout, making his way into the kitchen. The smell of something sweet is in the air.
“Hey Buck! I made pancakes. I was gonna make bacon as well but didn’t have time — or the energy to be honest, to go out,” she smiles, Buck frowns.
“How long have you been up? It’s only half past seven.”
“Oh yeah, sorry. Your alarm woke me up. Not that I mind, I wasn’t sleeping well. But what kind of demon are you to be waking up at six? Anyway, you were sound asleep. You look exhausted, so I turned it off for you, though you could sue the extra sleep. Last night you mentioned not having anything planned so I thought it’d be ok,” she rambles, pausing a moment to look over Bucks face. And whatever she saw led her to add, “sorry.”
“No it’s fine, I appreciate it. I usually keep the alarm on just before school starts to get into the habit. But I think I did need that extra sleep this time around.”
Maddie’s face forms into a somber smile but she quickly wipes it off before rambling about whatever seems to be in her mind — or more so what she’d prefer to be on it. Maddie isn’t like this often. This is what Buck does, not Maddie. But instead, she’s the one who’s sentences don’t seem to end and the speed of her words are so fast, Buck can barely make them out. To someone else, it’d seem like she was excited. But Buck knows that’s not what it is. He may have not seen her for years, but he still knows his sister.
It’s out of anxiety, he thinks. Or maybe a distraction. Likely both. Buck’s not sure what happened with Doug that led Maddie to this state, but he can’t imagine it to be good. He doesn’t want to push her, but god, he’s worried.
So instead of trying to get an answer out of her, he indulges her ranting for now and thanks her as she serves him with a slightly burned pancake. Maybe once they’re done eating he’ll bring it up.
“So what day does the new school year start?” Maddie sparks a few hours later. They ate breakfast, and Buck decided to play a movie in an attempt to clear the mood.
“Monday, we actually had the open house yesterday though.”
“Monday.. today’s Tuesday, right?”
Buck frowns slightly, “Wednesday actually.” He decides to pause the movie, they weren’t really paying much attention to it anyway.
“Sorry, just exhausted, y’know?” Maddie laughs awkwardly, and Buck swears he can see her eyes glossed. The air in the room has changed, and his stomach feels like a void, a bad feeling within it.
“Maddie, what really happened with Doug?” Buck sighs. Both of them are tired and he knows he shouldn’t. He let them eat and spend the morning together while dancing around the topic. But every conversation he has with Maddie just worries him more and more.
“No. I’m not gonna bring my little brother into this,” she sniffles, and Buck’s heart breaks immediately.
“Standing in between you and anyone who thinks they can hurt you is exactly where I want to be standing.” Buck wants so badly to break down and hold onto his sister like he used to all those years ago. But he knows he can’t; he needs to be here for Maddie right now. He needs to know that she’s safe, because she’s said so many things in the past few hours that make Buck question that. “Maddie, are you in some kind of danger?”
Maddie pauses for a long moment. And the silence is the answer to Buck’s question. “The stuff that Mom and Dad hated about him, that you picked up on even as a teenager, it all got worse. Much worse over the last year or so. And when I threatened to leave,” she pauses, “he threatened to kill me.” Buck looks to her, and she’s practically shaking, a tear running down her cheek. God, Buck feels sick to his stomach. Maddie, much quieter, her voice cracking mid sentence, continues, “and he meant it.”
Buck nearly opens his mouth to curse Doug out, but he knows logically that that’s not the right move right now, so he stops himself. Instead, Maddie turns to him, her cheeks wet with tears, and her breath fast paced, talks again, “You know, when women in abusive relationships used to come into the hospital, I got to be honest, I would pass judgment.
“Like, why don’t you just leave him. Now I get it. It’s like, you can’t even believe it’s happening.”
“You broke free,” Buck rasps, eyebrows knitted together, jaw tensed. “And I’m proud of you. I meant what I said before. You can — should stay here. The couch is comfy, I’m more than happy to stay on it. And hey, if Doug comes looking? My closest friend’s wife is best friends with a cop. I have connections.”
“He won’t. He doesn’t know you live here. He doesn’t know what you do. It’s a real benefit to being married to somebody who doesn’t ask any questions,” Maddie reassures, wiping her face of the tears.
“Ok, well, that’s perfect. You can start over. I can help you. I can help you get a great nursing job at one of the hospitals.”
“No. I really miss helping people… but I can’t do that job everyday. Looking over my shoulder, wondering who’s walking in the front door.”
“Ok, then we’ll figure it out. Just like we always do, Maddie. I’ll help you, I swear.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Buck softly smiles, hugging Maddie tightly. It’s uncomfortable in their position, but he could care less.
The rest of the day passes by smoothly. The two aren’t avoiding the topic, but it doesn’t get brought up again. At most, Buck will check in the make sure she’s ok every now and then.
It’s been quite a few hours now since the conversation, and the two siblings are eating takeout — a family owned Thai place a few minutes from Buck’s. Every time Buck indulges himself and orders, he practically melts. Based off of the face Maddie makes as she chews, she shares a similar opinion of the place.
“Good, right?” Buck smiles, helping himself to another small portion.
“So good. The food here makes up for the horrible traffic,” she laughs, a sound that Buck missed so much. “So Mr. Buckley,” Maddie starts after a moment, clearly referencing his occupation with the title. “Tell me about your life now. I feel like I’ve missed so much.”
“It’s not that interesting. You know the big stuff already.”
“Yeah but I want to know more. I know your a teacher, but what about other things? Hobbies, friends?”
“I mean, I’ve been getting into cooking and baking a bit. I’m not amazing but there’s this guy I met in a support group, Bobby, who’s been teaching me.”
“Bobby, hm? Tell me about him.”
Buck hesitates for a moment, pondering what to say in particular. “He's a nice guy. Him and his wife always host these dinners. I’ve gone to one or two of their barbecues — they usually have his or his wife’s coworkers there. Anyway, Bobby is amazing. Got me on the track I’m on, teaches me all of these new stuff. He’s like my-“ dad, Buck cuts himself off. It’s a bit weird to ramble to his sister about someone who practically replaces their dad in his mind. Maddie would understand, it’s not like their father has always been super present during Buck’s childhood. It’d still feel strange, though. “Anyway, he’s a firefighter too, so that’s really cool.”
“A firefighter? Wasn’t that your dream as a kid?” Maddie smiles, a breathy laugh escaping her.
“Amongst other things, yeah. It’s actually funny ‘cause he’s the caption for my best friend's wife. Me and Karen work together, she teaches fourth grade. You’d get along with their family, I think.”
The conversation then shifts towards Buck’s career and how it’s been going. Eventually, Maddie’s past few years get brought up. But it’s simple stuff; some close friends Maddie had or funny nursing stories. They laugh, and Buck soaks it all in. God, he missed his sister.
It’s late, by the time sleepiness catches up to them.
“Honestly, I should head to bed,” Maddie yawns, her eyebrows furrowing slightly.
“Think you’ll be ok for the night?” Buck tilts his head.
“Hopefully, yeah. Talking with you’s been amazing, I think.”
“You think, huh?”
“Shut up, you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, yeah. Sleep tight. I’m just outside the door if you need anything, yeah?”
“Ok, thanks Buck-a-roo.”
“You know what? I hope the bed bugs bite,” Buck mumbles under his breath, shaking his head.
“Night,” Maddie smiles, disappearing into the bedroom.
Buck smiles softly to himself, getting ready for the night.