Chapter Text
Several weeks have passed since Grace last had a burger. Gosh, what he wouldn't do for another one.
He knows, the rational part of his brain at least knows, that he did not eat a burger. He knows he didn't. But he also knows that it was so good he cried, and so while he sits and eats taumoeba sludge, he cannot help but yearn.
It has also been several weeks since he has been hypnotized. For a number of reasons, one being that he isn't exactly fond of his agency being stripped of him. Too much baggage for him to have to unload. When it's Rocky, though…That's a thought that he doesn't really like to entertain for very long. It does things to his stomach, and that's already going through enough right now.
Speaking of the little devil, he has been incredibly busy since then, too. He started working on a prototype xenonite suit that would allow him to touch Grace. Not like, in a perverted sense(?) but in a way that they both are extremely touch starved. It's been way longer than his journey to space since he's had much physical contact with another being, and sometimes, when he's laying down at night, it almost hurts in spots he wish could be touched.
Thankfully, Rocky still sings him his lullaby's. It was a little embarrassing at first, being lulled to sleep at his old age of thirty-something, but he quickly got over it. He sleeps well at night, and for longer. It's very rare for him to have nightmares now. They were starting to mess with his head.
Grace can't imagine what Rocky is feeling. He has a mate back on Erid, who loves him dearly and almost certainly doted him based on how bratty he is. He was alone for over forty years before they met, and still he has not been able to get close enough to someone just to feel them against his carapace. Eridians don't rely as much on touch as humans do, but sometimes, when Rocky thinks he isn't looking, Grace will see him rub his legs together and hum little tunes to himself. It breaks a guys heart.
So, Rocky has been working very hard. This also means that they don't spend as much time together. Which is fine, since they do have designated TV time and he gets lulled to sleep every night. Besides, Grace has his own stuff to work on. His main one is trying to figure out how to make the taumoeba taste not horrible. Heck, he would even settle for tasteless as this point.
There had been a few plants that were brought onto the Hail Mary, but unfortunately most of them were destroyed during the incident at Tau Ceti. The only two herbs that Grace had left to work with were mint and oregano. They're not the worst things to work with. The issue is he doesn't have much, quantity-wise, to work with.
The other issue is that Grace is no kind of food scientist. He could break down and understand the molecular components of both the mint and the taumoeba, and even try to splice them together and breed another taumoeba mutation. That did not mean, however, that the two were compatible in the most fundamental way. It would just rot, and stink up the whole lab.
Just garnishing his taumoeba with the herbs didn't really help with what he was wanting either. It just tasted like sludge with just a little tickle of mint, and it tickled in stomach in all the wrong ways.
Okay, he needs a break.
Grace pulls himself away from spreadsheet and personal taumoeba farm, and rubs his eyes. He definitely should not be hunkered down so close to a screen for hours at a time. There's just no way he's going to find an optometrist this far out.
He looks over at Rocky instead, who is still diligently working on his new xenonite suit. It looks like he has figured out the basics of it, since he already made his ball, it was just the hard part of maintaining a safe and comfortable temperature for Grace to touch. The flexible xenonite Rocky's using is thinner than the one panel he has on the ball, but Rocky assured him it is just as strong. Of course Grace trusts him.
"How's it coming along, bud?" He asks. Rocky has already been aware of Grace staring at him, but he puts the xenonite suit down now to give Grace his full attention.
"Good! Made much progress. Will be snuggling soon."
Grace immediately blushes and puts his head in his hands.
"That's, yeah, that's great Rock!" His voice sounds strained. He actually wants to slide off his chair and curl up into a ball, but he won't do that.
Was that not exactly what Grace wanted? It was.But it's still too embarrassing that he said that at all.
"Grace not want snuggle, question?"
"What?" He starts, "Why would you think that?"
"Grace always hide from Rocky when talk about snuggles. Grace groan and hide and sound weird." Grace hears more annoyance in his voice than any kind of concern or worry.
"Yeah well, I'm a weird guy, I guess." He shrugs.
"So Grace does want snuggles."
"Okay can we please stop calling it snuggles?"
"Grace call it snuggles! That's word! Give Rocky wrong word, question?" Now he's mad. Oh great.
"Well, no. It's just…So intimate? People on Earth don't really say snuggle unless it's with someone they're really, really close with. Like their child or partner, or I guess their pets." Grace's cheeks burn harsher. "I didn't mean to give you the wrong word, Rock."
Rocky hesitates. "Grace and Rocky not partners…" Now he sounds sad. Great, he messed up again.
"No, no we're partners!" He waves his hands out, trying to wipe away his mistake. "Just not romantic partners, you know? That's different." His heart is beating way too fast and now he definitely feels himself slowly sink down his chair, his body desperately wanting to curl and just hide away from this miss he made.
"Understand." His voice is quiet, Grace's chest hurts with guilt. "Will not use word. Apologies." Rocky gets back to working on his suit, and Grace thinks he sees his carapace has sunk lower to the floor too.
"Um…Yeah. I mean. No, you can use it. I'm being stupid. Use whatever word you want, Rock. We're still doing the same thing."
"Yes, Grace being stupid." Rocky huffs, but it's not as harsh as it usually is when he's actually angry. "Go take break from taumoeba project."
"Oh, uh..Okay. Yeah." He needs to expand his vocabulary. In the meantime, he closes his laptop. "If you're not too busy…Do you wanna go watch something with me? We're close to finishing Breaking Bad."
Rocky does perk up a little at that, which makes Grace smile. Good, he's not too mad at him. Or sad…
"Maybe…" Rocky's vents shuffle, he's really thinking about what he wants to do. "Want to finish suit. Still want to…" Rocky hums. "Need new word."
"For uh. snuggling?"
"Yes."
"Cuddling…?"
"Better than snuggle, question?"
Grace groans, mainly at himself. "No, it's like the same thing."
"Human language too weird." Rocky grumbles. "Rocky not use snuggle. Cuddle same. Grace weird with both."
"Well, you got me there pal." He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "We'll keep snuggles. I'll just try to not be weird."
"Grace waste Rocky time. Keep same word. Acting stupid…Go eat, then we watch Breaking Bad."
"Wait, really!?" Grace is the one to perk up now, except he feels and probably looks like a dog.
"Yes, go eat! Rocky will be done soon."
Grace swears he hears Rocky laugh at him a little, but whatever. At least he's not mad at him anymore. He walks on over to the dorm so he can eat without grossing Rocky out too much.
He's able to eat his taumoeba goop with a side of a half bag of coma slurry. He's decided it's best to ration it out now then regret it later. If there are days where he's getting real rough, maybe he can up his intake but he would rather not. They still have a long way to Erid, after all. Even longer than that until he has a sustainable food source.
Once Grace has finished shoveling his less-than-glorious meal down, Rocky enters the room.
"Grace ready, question?"
"Like you didn't wait until I was done eating." Grace has Mary discard his trash and grabs his quilt. "Rocky ready, question?"
"Yes yes, let's go. Worried about Jesse."
That gets a laugh out of Grace. "Yeah, you're gonna be in for a long ride. Come on, bud." He pats Rocky's xenonite ball and they walk over to the don't-go-crazy room together.
They already have a sort of nest going on in the room. Grace has moved some extra blankets and pillows in there since they usually binge shows. He's been getting a little sluggish lately, and will fall asleep without realizing it if he's too relaxed.
One night, he messed up his neck pretty bad, so Rocky made him create something comfortable he can lay down on for when he gets too drowsy. It's pretty sweet, honestly. It feels more like they're having a sleep over than traveling at light speed across space.
Despite Grace's earlier display regarding the intricacies of the word "snuggling," he and Rocky do it pretty frequently. Or at least, the best that they can with the xenonite ball.
Once Grace plays the episode, he sits down next to Rocky in his little blanket nest and leans against the ball. He loves the warmth that radiates off of it. It's mainly suppressed, but Rocky's atmosphere still does heat the outside of the barrier ever so slightly. It feels like a rock that someone kept in their pocket all day. It's nice on days he feels a little weak. It's also probably why he falls asleep so easily in the room.
This is their space where they just cuddle up and watch whatever they can find, or sing and dance, there's even some party games that are installed on the laptop! Guess even on a suicide mission, comradery is important. Because of that, this a space where they're not allowed to talk about the taumoeba, or repairs on the ship, the dwindling food supply, anything that makes Grace anxious, really. It sounds like he's the only with problems, but Rocky is just better at not letting his consume him.
Heck, Grace had to be forced to have a good day. Literally had an out of body experience to start relaxing again. It's the best he had felt in years. Ever since he started working on the Hail Mary project, honestly. There was always a problem that needed solving, and he put his well being on the back burner.
Not being in complete control of himself still wasn't his favorite thing in the world, but it didn't seem to be his least favorite thing in the world. At least, not the way Rocky put him in a trance. He felt so safe and protected. Rocky's love for him was overwhelming, but in a good way.
Grace feels ghosts of the vibrations sent through his body crawl up and down his skin, and he lets out an involuntary shudder. Sometimes, he wishes he could feel it again. He's not sure he's ready to ask yet.
"Grace okay, question?"
"Ah, yeah bud, sorry I was just thinking about stuff. Nothing bad, promise."
Rocky hums as if he doesn't believe him, but doesn't pry, either. "Grace should focus on show."
"Yeah, I know. It's getting to the good part."
Rocky squirms in anticipation, and Grace laughs.
Another two weeks have passed since their previous conversation. Neither one of them have brought up snuggling, but it's something Grace thinks about more and more. Sometimes, his heart feels heavy, and his body feels almost itchy.
The thing about humans is that they are social creatures, even if an individual has a more anti-social personality. It's rooted down into their genetics, almost inescapable. Even the most extreme of shut-ins will still jump to internet forums and social media for some kind of human interaction, even if they barely participate.
A shut-in would, say, huddle up in a corner wrapped snugly in a blanket, hunched over his laptop. Maybe he would be watching archived YouTube videos of an old online video game he used to play in his early college years. Living vicariously through this 15 year old YouTube video of some guy explaining how to max out your fishing level so that you can unlock a very mediocre but brag-worthy piece of equipment. The microphone is horrible quality, cracking every so often, and the highest resolution is in 360p. Maybe that's just what playing the game was like, though. Maybe that's the quality of the memories when they resurface, matching the old graphics and the haze of the all-nighters he and his college friends would spend on some stupid game that didn't cost a dime and didn't have any consequences to the world.
Grace feels tears sting at his eyes. He's really lonely if these are the memories surfacing. LAN parties are totally not brag worthy, in fact it just solidified how much of a nerd he used to be, but they were great.
He recedes further into his quilt, now fully engulfed in its darkness. His knees are drawn up and his head rests on them. His arms wrap firmly around the ends of the blanket, making sure there was no way for the outside world to intrude on his special sulking hour. He is allotted this time once every few weeks. A little treat.
Of course, Grace isn't alone, he knows this perfectly well. But he craves Rocky's touch more and more each day, and it exacerbates his feelings of isolation. They are the only two lifeforms for light years still. It's impossible not to feel this way, even a little bit.
Erid is still a ways away, and he doesn't even know what his life there will look like. Maybe all the Eridians will be so repulsed by his leakiness that they would crumble up and die at the mere thought of touching him. Not even letting him pat them on the top of their carapace or giving them a little fist bump. Maybe they wouldn't want him around at all. Maybe they'll just put him in a cage like a zoo animal, and Rocky couldn't do anything to stop them. They'd throw space peanuts at him and tell him to dance. Shoot, maybe he would just for the attention.
He's losing it.
The video ends with the young boy telling Grace to like, comment, and subscribe for more videos. Grace groans and shrinks further in on himself. He can't. He can't like, comment, nor subscribe. Truly, he is isolated from all civilization.
He nuzzles his head into his own knees, trying to mimic some kind of comfort. It's just not the same, like trying to tickle yourself. His brain just doesn't fall for it.
Sometimes, he can feel ghosts of past touches. Hugs old friends would give him after they haven't talked in months, pats on the back from some of the other teachers at school, high fives from the kiddos.
He can feel one of them right now. It's at his side, very gently rubbing circles into him. It's a warm touch, and he sighs, his whole body relaxing. Finally, his brain is able to turn off for a second and just embrace the warm memory. A small hand, oh so careful not to hurt him, yet firm and methodical. He can feel the three fingers(?) press into his body, just a little bit.
Grace leans into it. There's pressure but it doesn't hurt. He hears a small chirp in response. Another hand presses down. And then another.
Grace's brain wakes up and he is actively fighting his blanket to release him. He hears Rocky's squeak of surprise and his release on Grace. Finally, Grace busts out of his blanket, glasses askew, and balks at Rocky.
"You finished your suit!?" He shouts, and scoots his way over to his friend, who took several large steps away from him during his blanket scuffle.
"Been trying to tell Grace! Grace having special sad time though and wouldn't listen. Rocky had to intervene."
Grace barks out a laugh and wraps himself around Rocky in the biggest, bear-iest hug he can muster. Rocky shrills in delight and wraps all five legs around Grace in the warmest hug of his life.
There are no words to describe how good Grace feels in this moment. He can't stop laughing, and his laughing turns into crying, which turns into ugly sobbing. He buries himself in Rocky's carapace. Two of Rocky's arms rub his back, and one pets his head in a soothing circle. It feels amazing.
The xenonite suit is so thin that Grace is pretty sure he can actually feel Rocky. He knows what the texture of xenonite feels like. It's a smooth and sturdy metal. Grace rubs around Rocky's carapace and feel the rugged details. His warmth seeps out of the suit but not in a way that's unpleasant. He's like a heated blanket, and Grace cannot get close enough. His surface is still hard but not uninviting, and Rocky is holding most of his own weight so as not to totally crush Grace. It's a comfortable weight, one that he's been yearning for who knows how long.
"Oh, Rocky," he hears himself sob, "you're incredible." His whole body is shaking, and he's pretty sure he's on the verge of having a full blown mental breakdown, but in the best way possible. His heartbeat is rapid and his sobs are making it difficult to breathe. He has felt almost physically sick from the lack of physical touch, and now he is overwhelmed by it.
"Grace okay, question?" Rocky asks, and Grace can feel him trying to let go. Grace's breath hitches and he wraps around Rocky even tighter, desperate for the touch.
"Please don't!" He says and even he can hear the desperation in his voice. He's trying very, very hard not to hyperventilate. "I'm okay, really. I promise I'm fine Rocky. It's so nice. Please, please don't let go."
Rocky makes a concerned little noise but snuggles closer into Grace once more. "Grace heart fast fast fast." He states. "Not good. Grace does not sound good."
"It's okay," Grace tries to take a deep breath, but it comes out sputter and shaky. "It's just been so long." He rubs Rocky's carapace again.
It's honestly not a fantastic feeling. His brain cannot comprehend what is going on right now, and his body is trying not to explode, probably literally. The touch itself is amazing, but mentally he is fighting for his life.
It takes a few moments for Grace to think about what to do next.
"Rocky, can you do me a favor?"
"Rocky will do anything." Rocky's response sends a shudder down Grace's spine. He'll have to ruminate on this later when his brain isn't broken.
"Can you do that thing again?"
Rocky doesn't respond for a moment, probably trying to figure out what Grace even means. Grace can feel when Rocky understands by the little wiggle he does.
"Grace want Rocky's song?!" He squeals and Grace can't help but laugh through his tears. He tries to hold onto him tighter, but he's running out of strength. Rocky rubs a leg up and down his back, and it placates him.
"Yeah just uh, a little bit." Grace can't help but blush now, his pride trying to creep its way into his messy brain. "If you could just help me calm down. Like, just a small bit."
"Sing only a little…" Rocky muses, his voice more thoughtful but his joy still seeps through. "Understand, Rocky will help Grace. Rocky can feel Grace heart beat fast fast fast."
"Fast fast fast." Grace repeats, laughing just a little. "It doesn't really feel great."
Rocky pets Grace's head again and he sighs, leaning into it. "Rocky fix." Grace trusts him.
Rocky begins his song as he did last time. It is slow and gentle, very similar to the lullaby he sings to Grace every night. Grace's body immediately relaxes, his shoulders drooping and his grip on Rocky lessening. Rocky supports him, two of his legs still wrapped around his back, while one continues to pet his head. It should be a little embarrassing, being coddled like this, but his ego has already been tamed. He lets out a sigh and closes his eyes.
It's difficult to translate a literal English translation of Rocky's lyrics. The way he sings to speak versus the melody he sings are very different. Similar to human language, he can at least tell some words are stretched to fit the melody, sentence structure is more poetic than utilitarian, and the layers that Rocky weaves in are far more than Grace's dumb human brain can process.
Still, he can understand the emotion, and that is more than enough. Rocky is telling him that he is okay, and that he is safe in Rocky's arms. He will never have to worry again, never never never.
He will always be loved and taken care of. He and all of Erid will make sure he never wants for anything. Rocky will make Grace feel warm and cared for, make sure he wants for nothing, and that they will be together forever.
It's such a powerful, overwhelming feeling, but it is tamed by the gentle melody. It's a song of adoration, and lull's Grace into a complete sense of security. His heartbeat slows as the song continues, and there is not a tense muscle in his body. He is total mush, he can barely think.
Grace is close to falling asleep before Rocky pulls him out of it. He whines, and he can hear Rocky laugh at him.
Instead of relenting, Rocky prods deeper into Grace's unconscious mind. He can still feel it, both mentally and physically. Rocky's vibrations as he sings do something to Grace that is difficult to describe. It literally feels like his brain is being massaged. All the little kinks and tense muscles being smoothed out. He thinks, passingly, that Rocky is trying to shake out all the hard-earned wrinkles in his brain. That thought is pushed out by more of Rocky's singing.
This too, feels different than last time. It feels like Rocky is nudging around the edges, trying to get permission to take over. Grace does not offer any resistance, happily giving in to Rocky's request. He is rewarded with another wave of pure bliss.
"Good Grace." Rocky purrs. "Good for Rocky. Do not think."
Grace hums his acknowledgement. There's a warmth deep in the pit of his stomach. It flutters up into his chest and into his throat. It reaches all the way up into his head, and fills all the empty space that Rocky has made. Grace cannot think of anything but of how good it feels to listen to Rocky.
Rocky removes the claw that has been petting Grace's head and goes to his chin instead. He holds Grace gently, and lifts his head. "Grace open eyes." He commands, and Grace obeys.
He looks at Rocky with half-lidded eyes. There is a dreamy sort of filter around his vision, making it difficult to fully concentrate on anything. He decides it is not worth the effort to try. He lets Rocky move his had left and right, and then up and down. Rocky lets out an amused little chitter.
"Grace so soft." He comments. "So easy to move."
Rocky lets go of Grace's chin. One of his arms lets go of Grace's back, the other still supporting him, and then places two claws on his cheeks. They squish his cheeks very gently. Then he rubs them around, and laughs again when it squishes and stretches the rest of Grace's face.
It does not feel as good as when his head was being pet, but Grace is not allowed to object. He can only half-process that Rocky is messing around with him, and even that realization passes through him like water.
"Grace get mad if not hypnotized. Never let Rocky do anything fun." Rocky says primarily to himself. "Grace squishy, fun to mess with." He says with another squish of Grace's cheeks. "Grace cute cute cute!"
The warm feeling in Grace's stomach intensifies, and he can feel his cheeks redden. Rocky seems to notice too, as he makes an inquisitive noise.
"Grace like, question?"
"Grace like." He affirms. His voice sounds distant, and as dreamy as he feels. He smiles, which seems to excite Rocky further."
Rocky wiggles his carapace and lets go of Grace's cheek to pet his head again. He uses both claws, and really messes up Grace's hair this time.
"Cute cute cute!" He explains. "Grace cute for Rocky! Grace so good for Rocky!"
The praise is intoxicating. It sends a wave of dopamine over his brain and he yearns for more. He wants to be good for Rocky. He needs to be.
His vision gets a little fuzzier, and the warmth he feels begins to burn. The space between his pants tightens, and he lets out a small whine.
Grace rolls his hips against Rocky, his rational mind completely absent. His heartbeat is rapid and the whole experience makes him dizzy with lust.
He needs to be good.
He's panting, the heat is overwhelming.
He'll be good for Rocky. Do anything he wants.
He rolls his hips harder, he vocalizes his desire with a moan.
He needs more praise.
The pressure is excruciating. He needs Rocky to allow him relief.
Need need need—
And then the feeling begins to fade. It almost physically hurts. Grace chokes out a sob as he feels Rocky step away, and he reaches his arms out towards him. Rocky grabs them and gently puts them down. Big, fat tears gloss over Grace's eyes, and Rocky pets his head one last time.
The gentle melody begins anew, helping Grace's heartbeat to slow back down. Soon, he no longer burns with desire, but instead feels heavy and tired.
Rocky guides his body to lay down, trying his best not to touch him more than necessary. A sad pang stings Grace's heart.
"Apology." Rocky says, barely audible. "Rocky mess up again."
Grace is fast asleep.
When Grace wakes up, the first thing he notices is how warm he is. It feels nice. The Hail Mary can get pretty cold, especially as Grace loses weight, so the heat is very much appreciated. He snuggles closer to it, wanting to soak in more before fully waking.
He hears Rocky's small chirps and feels an arm wrap around his waist. Ah, that's right, Rocky was able to finish his suit. It's nice, having a little space heater while he sleeps. He must have fallen asleep while they were doing something, he doesn't usually take a nap just on the floor. He doesn't feel sore though, just a little dazed trying to wake up still.
There's some fuzzy patches in his memory. He remembers being pretty depressed, and then the overwhelming joy of finally being able to touch his best friend, and then there's a bit of a wall.
Grace remembers asking Rocky to hypnotize him. That explains why the specifics are so hazy. He was so overwhelmed with his own whiplash of emotions that he wanted some help calming down. It was a bit of a guilty pleasure he was trying to goad himself into, honestly.
It's a mess of sensations that get jumbled up in his brain. He scrunches his brow in concentration, eyes still shut and still snuggled closer to Rocky. He seems to notice Grace's struggle to recollect and instead of asking what is wrong, brings a claw to his head and scratches his head. It's gentle and deeply soothing.
Grace lets out a sigh. Yeah, that's the spot. He hums in contentment, and thinks it's impressive that Rocky knows already where he likes to be touched. At this point, he supposes he would like to be touched anywhere. Isolation really does that to you. This is the best spot though.
It makes his brain feel like mush again, and his brow relaxes. He sits in the feeling and lets himself doze off, his mind allow thoughts to float around but never sticking.
He thinks of a few things. One, he deeply enjoys when Rocky messes with his head. It's good to step out of himself. He feels like pudding right now, which is far nicer than the usual stress and sore muscles he's been waking up with more often.
Two, he enjoys it just a little too much. There's a heat in the pit of his stomach just at the thought of their hypnosis escapades. This one, he remembers, was far too brief. It was nothing like the first time. It felt like Grace got to have a choice in the matter, and it made it all the more enjoyable.
Yeah…He really liked it. Why did they stop?
Oh.
Oh no.
Oh my God.
Grace shoots up, surprising Rocky who pulls has arms back to give him space.
"Is okay—"
"I'm so so sorry—"
They speak at the exact same time. Grace's face is beat red, his shame burning him alive. Rocky must have felt this coming, from what his response gives away.
"It's-it's not okay Rocky. Oh my gosh I can't believe I did that." Grace groans and curls in on himself. "You were just trying to do something nice for me. I'm such a pervert. I can't believe I did that I'm so so so sorry Rocky."
He repeats this over and over again. He's completely mortified. Rocky will never think the same of him again. Rocky is married! And Grace was grinding all over him. If Adrian ever found out, Grace is sure his life would end in that instant.
"Grace."
Rocky may never want to speak to him again. He's married! He has a mate! And even if he didn't, he probably thinks Grace is so gross. He's all leaky and squishy and Rocky already tells him his bodily functions are disgusting. Even sneezing grosses him out.
"Grace!"
This is going to make the rest of their trip to Erid miserable. Especially for Rocky. Oh my god, Rocky is married! Maybe Grace should just jump out of the airlock. Yeah, that would save both of them the humiliation. The only bad part is that Grace really is not into the idea of dying…Is there a way to induce amnesia on the both of them?
"Yo!"
Grace blinks and looks up at Rocky. He's tapping a claw on the ground like he's getting impatient.
"I'm so—"
"Grace shut up! Grace stupid stupid stupid!" Rocky stomps two of his feet now and shakes a claw at him. He's super ticked off.
"Okay. Okay, I'm shutting up." He raises his hands up, showing his surrender.
Rocky stops his stomping and puts his shaking fast down. He still looks agitated.
"Never let Rocky say anything. Always sorry sorry sorry. Not what Rocky want to hear." He huffs, his vents billowing out excess steam.
"What…Do you want to hear?" Grace is more shocked than anything.
"Rocky fault that Grace act like that." He starts, his carapace lowering to the ground. "Still do not know how to sing for Grace without losing control. Love love love Grace. Want you to know and feel. Felt too much. Made you feel things you do not feel." His voice is so quiet, there's a heartbreaking sadness to it. "Apology."
It takes Grace a moment to process what Rocky says. His guilt is replaced by confusion. "No understand." Is all he can manage.
"Grace understand." Rocky huffs again. "Better at Eridian. Rocky better at communicating. Grace just being stupid."
"Hey, hold on, you can't just apologize and then call me stupid!" Now Grace is the offended one. "What do you mean by 'make me feel things I didn't feel'? I didn't feel anything I didn't want to." His blush deepens, but it's the truth! He's not letting Rocky feel bad about Grace's own feelings.
"Grace…Feel that way about Rocky, question?" There's apprehension in Rocky's tone, but not one that Grace registers as anger or disgust. It makes him feel very slightly better.
"I mean…I do, yeah." He clears his throat. "I'm pretty touch starved, we both know that." Rocky hums in acknowledgement. "And well, I mean you're my best friend, Rock. I love you a lot." Rocky nods his carapace, mumbling "love love love Grace," it makes Grace chuckle. "And well…I guess I got too excited. I couldn't really control myself. Literally could not control myself." Rocky's carapace is almost on the floor now. "But that doesn't mean it's not what I felt. And that it wasn't mine to feel."
Grace takes a big, deep breath in, and then lets it all out. "I know you have a mate Rocky. I know how much you love Adrian. But…The more I think and more I feel, I love you Rocky. I love you like you love Adrian."
"Like a mate." Rocky says.
"Yeah." Grace affirms. "Like a mate."
Rocky lifts his carapace off the ground and does a little tippy tap in place. Huh, Grace doesn't think he's seen this one before.
Rocky starts to laugh. And laugh and laugh. And he still does his tippy taps and he laughs and Grace is so, so lost.
"Grace!" Rocky sings. "Grace Grace Grace!"
"R-Rocky!?" He balks. Should he be tippy tapping too?
"Grace that what song mean! Rocky's song to Grace!" Rocky chirps. His pitch is so high that it rings a little in Grace's ears. He tries his best not to wince.
"Means…That you feel the same way?" Is it right for him to feel hopeful?
"Yes! Yes yes yes! Grace yes!" Rocky cannot contain himself any longer and hurls his way towards Grace. There already isn't a lot of space between them, so Grace braces for a pretty harsh impact.
Thankfully, Rocky is aware that he does currently weigh 300 pounds, and so he holds back so only about 200 pounds of force hits Grace. He's toppled to the ground, the wind knocked right out of him.
His ribs hopefully won't bruise, but he doesn't care either way. He's laughing now too and wraps his arms around Rocky, hugging him as tight as he can. Rocky nuzzles into the embrace, too excited to form words, so all he can do is chirp.
"Rocky, Rocky, hey bud you gotta breathe." Grace laughs and pets the top of Rocky's carapace. He can feel as his vents shift around, trying to release all the excess heat built inside Rocky. This has to be the equivalent of Eridian blushing, right? Grace can practically feel steam come out of his ears, too.
"Rocky breathe!" He chirps again. "Rocky happy happy happy!" Chirp chirp. "Rocky love love love Grace! Make song for Grace!" Chirp. "Always make sure Grace happy!"
Oh geez, he's going to start crying again. Tears prick once more at Grace's eyes, threatening to spill over. He wipes them away and nuzzles his face closer into Rocky.
"I love love love you too, Rock!" He could do a little chirp himself. "I can't really do as much, but I'll make sure you're always happy too."
There's just one thing…
"Uh…What about Adrian?"
Rocky hums in confusion, and then straightens a little once he understands Grace's question.
"No need to worry! Eridians have more than one mate. Adrian will understand." Grace feels a little doubtful at that last part, and then Rocky goes and says "Adrian maybe want Grace, too."
The mischievous tone in Rocky's voice makes Grace's face burst into flames again."Wh—Rocky!?" He sputters. "No no no, there's no way. Like, ugh gosh, look at me." Grace tries to hide away into himself while staying firmly squished into Rocky. Rocky in turns, just laughs at him, and the reverberation of it courses through Grace's veins. It's really hard to be upset or embarrassed about any of this.
"Rocky cannot see, but know Grace beautiful." He practically coos. "Adrian will love Grace."
Grace will just have to trust him on that.