Chapter Text
Excerpt from Day 2 Negotiation Meeting between the Greencloaks and the Redcloaks as noted by the Greencloaks stenographer:
Olvan: I simply do not see what the issue is, we all want this negotiation to succeed don’t we? Why would we as the Greencloaks renege on a proposal we ourselves are putting forward?
Talon: The issue is what we simply can’t trust you to-
(She is cut off by a hand signal from the Redcloaks leader and lapses into silence)
Stead: What we want is a safety net, someone who has the authority to hold the Greencloaks responsible if they break the agreement
Trickster: Someone who doesn’t fall under the Greencloaks authority and with no conflict of interest to misrepresent the facts. No Greencloaks investigating Greencloaks.
Silvan: What would you consider breaking the agreement?
Trickster: We consider the following actions to render the agreement null and void: withholding of the right of food and water or the right of proper shelter fitting that of a human, actions taken to humiliate and belittle the Redcloaks such as beatings, scarring, mutilation, constant verbal degradation, any actions with malicious intent to cause mental suffering, assault of any kind, prevention to receive medical aid, torture, leading up to loss of life”
(There’s a long silence in the meeting room)
Lena: (under her breath) Jhi have mercy on us..
Olvan: My dear boy, how could you think there’s a world where that might happen to you?
Trickster: (sharply) We are not foolish nor are we blind to the reality of our situation. We are past Conquerors with the reminders of our past actions embedded in our skin. (He slams his hand down on the table).
We stood on opposite sides of a war that resulting in the loss of thousands. So forgive us if we want some surety that we aren’t walking into an agreement that will lead to our deaths
Olvan: Any of the Greencloaks who would act as supervisors would be very carefully vetted to make sure that there’s no risk of …such actions occurring, I assure you.
Stead: Would you vet the entire organisation of the Greencloaks on the off chance that we might come across them, given that you are proposing that the Redcloaks shift to Greenhaven?
Because I assure you that the odds that there are no Greencloaks who hold grudges against us and would be willing to risk consequences to dispense out “justice” are smaller than a single pebble among all the mountains of Amaya.
Silvan: What are you proposing then? Who would you include in this group of independent people to keep an “eye” on the Greencloaks.
Trickster: It’s simple; a group of people who hold positions of power and a voice in the ruling system of their country, two from each country of Erdas. If they get word that the agreement has been breached then they will escalate the matter to the respective governments and they in turn, will put pressure on the Greencloaks to right the injustice that is being committed.
Nico: (scoffing) We have just recovered from the government trying to control the Greencloaks, why would we agree to this proposal?
Stead: Because it’s the only way we will consider continuing with the negotiations. You reject this and we walk out those doors right now.
(The meeting room is filled with low mutters at this announcement)
Silvan: (raising his voice so it cuts through the noise) My question remains unanswered, do you have a list of proposed individuals?
Trickster: Yes we do (He passes forward a page with a list of names forward to Silvan. A copy of the list is present at the end of these notes for perusal)
(A minute passes as the Greencloak delegation reads the list)
Silvan: The Earl of Trunswick is listed, would that not make him biased seeing as his brother is a member of your organisation?
Trickster: This concern seems to be a non issue, given that the Earl has shown no animosity towards the Greencloaks and indeed has helped the Heros of Erdas recently during their quest for the Wildcats Claw. Infact-
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“Kaelen! Kae!”
He scrambled up the rust coloured rocky hill as the hot sun baked his shoulders and neck. He had left his sandals mid way through after one of the straps broke and now his feet ached and burned against the sharp rocks.
”Mom’s going to kill you if we miss the festival because of you!”
He finally reached the top of the hill, huffing loudly as he looks around for any sign of his brother. A nearby shrub has its branches broken as if someone had forced their way through it.
’Aha!’ He thought, pleased with himself, feeling as if he was a hunter following a trail.
A little ways ahead the ground was softer and the clay preserved a set of footprints overlaid by a wild scramble of animal claws.
When he came face to face with his elder brother, he saw him covered in scratched and bleeding profusely from a gash on his lip.
His brother doesn’t lift his pale blue gaze from where he had it trained on the dingo.
“Go back Darcy”
He hesitated, not wanting to move closer to the pair who were staring at each other and growling lowly.
Kae’s face was contorted into an ugly snarl, mirror image of the expression of the animal. Darcy had been getting used to that expression these past few months.
Ever since Kaelen had been cursed with a spirit animal bond, he’s been disappearing for hours, coming back with faint claw marks and a foul mood.
Dad says it’s because both of them are too independent to be chained to each other. So they take it out on each other.
He took a step forwards towards his brother and found himself subjected to the sudden undivided attention of Colebee.
The growling intensified in amplitude.
The dingo crouched down and placed himself between the two brothers and let out a viscous snarl which ran through his body like chilled ice water.
Colebee might hurt his brother on occasion but any perceived threat against Kae and the dingo went feral. Their uncle had lost two fingers by accidentally provoking his wrath.
”Back away slowly Darcy” came his brother’s shaky voice.
”Kae…” he wavered as the animal snarled and came closer in short jerks.
The animal pounced-
“DARCY!”
.
.
.
.
“DARCY DUCK!”
The explosion blew him back and the world went sticky sweet. His hearing, which was being magnified by Mirri, went through his brain like lightning and for a moment everything was simply white.
Nothing existed for an eternity.
.
No body to feel.
.
No mind to think.
.
Nothing for forever.
And then it hits him all at once.
He screams-
The world comes into focus but it’s blurred, he’s skipping time.
A blink and he’s lying down on the ground among the rubble.
Another blink and he’s coughing up blood.
Two more seconds pass and he’s being dragged up by unknown arms and pushed along.
His surroundings are a colourful blur but he can make out large swaths of green color.
Oh right.
He’s at war.
“Darcy. Look at me”
He raises his bleary eyes upwards and sees Gavin his troupmate, who looks frazzled, part of his armour smeared in blood.
“Follow my finger”
The confusion is rapidly dissipating, replaced with the sharp numbness that tells him that Mirri is still alive and near by. He tugs sharply on their bond and tells him to return back to him.
“Your brother is going to kill me if you end up dying. Do *Not* do that to me man, you know he gives me the heebie jeebies”
All around them the sounds of battle rang out. Gavin had dragged them to a small half cover wall which was smoldering, and was peering over his shoulder nervously. One of the Greencloaks had set off explosives.
Even from this position he could see several bodies, both animal and man, that had been too close to the blast and lay motionless in charred remains.
The smell of cooked flesh clung to his nose and throat.
His jaw ached in the telltale sign that it had been dislocated.
Gavin snaps his fingers to get his attention.
”Hey! Listen, there’s a clear shot across the area where we can regroup with the others. Just need to keep our heads down and then we can get you hel-“
He chokes on blood as an arrow tears through his throat. The warm blood splatters over Darcy’s face and neck.
Gavin collapses to the ground.
He whips his head around and catches sight of a Greencloak perched on a vantage point, already drawing their bow again.
No time to grieve or even process the death of a person he spent more than a year living and training with, he scrambles to his feet, the only thought being his own survival.
He catches sight of the rest of the Conquerors group where they were pushing forward, and starts making his way to them.
His path is stopped by a Nileon Greencloak, a spear ready in her hands.
”It’s always a shame to come across such young Conquerors”
Her gaze hardened
“But you did chose this life after all”
His hands were empty, sword flung away by the explosion but he sunk into a deep crouch, snarl etched on his face. He would go down fighting till the very end.
She raised her spear.
A howl rips though the air-
•••
Darcy woke up and its body was on fire. The pain so bad that it couldn’t breathe without it echoing back and forth through its body.
Theres some creature whimpering and whining and a small part of him recognises the noise, the sound of a wild dog in agony. (Mirri? A small voice thinks ‘Are you there’ Please. I don’t want to be alone)
He tries to call out for his spirit animal, and all that answers him along the bond is silence.
The whimpering grows louder and more distressed.
Poor little dog. Why are you so sad?
He opens his eyes.
.
.
.
Ah of course.
How could he have forgotten?
It was only him after all.
Howl curls up tighter into a ball as if to fill the empty areas of his soul. Mirri is gone. The person who was called Darcy is gone. The pain is now clearly radiating from his jaw.
His jaw had changed into the sharper point of a canine, squeezing his teeth together, but while his bone structure had changed, the skin attached to the jaw hadn’t yet. It was stiff and taut, like a tarp, pulling the muscles beneath the tissue till his entire face ached.
There was no cure, just a constant pain that followed his every step.
It had the habit of flaring up sometimes to the point where he couldn’t even move from where he lay.
Just him and the pain that Mirri left him with.
”Howl, are you alright?”
He looked up and saw Echo bending over him, concern etched on her face. “Is your jaw bothering you again? I can bring you the oil to rub into it if you want”
No, he’s not alone anymore is he?
He has the Redcloaks who care for him and treat him as one of their own and that’s more than enough for him
Day three of the negotiation meetings
“Psst, hey Lena”
She raised her head from where she had put it down on the table.
The argument had once again looped around to monitoring expenses and exactlyhow much control over the funds the Greencloaks would have.
As one of the two adult economists brought onto the mission, normally she would be paying close attention given that this is her job and she takes her work very seriously but this discussion had been going on the entire day, round and round the same talking points, to the point where she was heartily sick of the matter and wished that both people would just shut up and move on.
On the Redcloaks side it was their leader Stead and the canine masked Hound and on their end it was Kauri on the attacking end.
Neither wanted to concede to the other so round and round the discussion went.
She marvelled at the amount of energy they had because Jhi knows that her brain was fried at this point. She wasn’t built for so much social interaction and mental stamina for multiple day-length back to back meetings.
Only Kauri could still be going on after five hours of this nonsense, she thought.
It’s not like she had anything against him. But Kauri was… well Kauri.
The short Oceanus man a lot.
Wickedly smart. Passionate. Enthusiastic. Loud.
It didn’t help that he was often egged on by his spirit animal, Maia, a mischievous kea parrot. The two of them fit together like puzzle pieces and she was his partner in crime for everything.
”Lena” Xue Mei whispered again, her hand covering her mouth.
Lena was a busy woman and couldn’t afford to be too long from her work in Zong without significant enticement.
She had only agreed to be on the project if her apprentice was also allowed to be present. It helped that the teenager had also joined the Greencloaks two years back but even then Olvan had made them sign paperwork to prevent them from talking about the contents of the meetings to outsiders.
Li Xue Mei was a sixteen year old cheerful sort of girl, who was quick to understand and followed Lena’s instructions to a tee. But what she really lacked was experience.
She started panicking wildly at the first unexpected obstacle and there was only so much you could learn from books even in their field.
So she dragged her young Zongese student along to the meetings and told her to stay quiet and pay attention to the discussion.
”Hm?” She questioned as she raised her eyebrow at the girl. With the slightest tilt of her head, Xue Mei gestured to the Redcloak seated at the end of the table. Howl.
Jīn sè stirred a little from where she had been wrapped around her forearm and lifted her head, tongue flicking slowly as if tasting the air. She stroked her tiny head and Jīn sè curls back again to go to sleep.
Lena absentmindedly notices that the bat Redcloak was still asleep. Normally it would be impossible to tell with the masks they wear but with Jīn sè boosting her senses the vibration difference of a sleeping person tipped her off.
She focused on Howl and let out an amused huff of air.
The rest of the Redcloaks were listening very carefully to the discussion but he was meticulously tearing strips of the loose paper in front of him, clearly bored out of his mind.
At that moment he glanced up and caught her gaze from beneath the mask.
She raised both her eyebrows and he titled his head. Lena got the impression that he was smiling at her.
He raised his hand, shifting his shoulders to block the view from the rest of the table.
Then gave the sign of someone yapping followed by an exaggerated sigh like lifting of his shoulders.
She had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing out loud.
With mock grave seriousness she nodded in response.
She pointed towards herself then made the gesture of someone yawning and about to sleep.
Howl did the head tilt smile again and went back to fiddling and folding his scraps of paper.
Later after the break began and subsequently ended and she returned back to her seat mentally refreshed, she found a tiny origami crane with a small smiley face on one of its wings.
“Tammy!” She looks up from where she’s been clearing out her work table, damp cloth in her hands with which she was wiping the counter clean.
Sonia, who had already started preparing the dough for the pastries at dinner, caught her attention.
“Chef wants you”
She looked over to where Magnus, the head chef, was standing with Sarjay, her fellow Roundsman and resident pain in her ass.
He gestured her over and she obliged.
”Yes sir?”
”I need you to carry the food over to the Redcloaks delegations quarters”
Her stubborn streak came out and without any input from her brain her tongue started speaking.
”Oh come on, sir, Everyone knows it’s Sarjay’s turn for delivery. He can’t keep pushing it off on me!”
Magnus raised an eyebrow at her outburst. She immediately snaps her jaw shut. People didn’t argue with Magnus, they shut up and did as they are told otherwise they would find themselves out of a job.
“Is there an issue Roundsman Brooke?” His cold dark eyes showed the correct answer was a resounding no, and that she would not like it if she gave the wrong answer.
Sarjay stood by, looking as pleased as a cat who got the canary.
Time to swallow your pride Tammy. You can kiss your career good bye if you mess this up.
”No sir” she mumbled and bowed her head down.
She shot a nasty look at Sarjay and straightened up primly, going to where the large platter which was ladened with various foods and lifted it with a low grunt.
This stuff was heavy.
She braced herself and kept her head high as she made her way out of the kitchen.
As she left she could hear Magnus talking “Where did all our stone fruits go? Who’s in charge of inventory? And for Briggans Sake! Keep your spirit animals in passive while you are in the kitc-“
The door shut out the remaining of his scolding.
She walked up the steps to the first floor, hands trembling from the weight and exertion all while cursing Sarjay under her breath.
She was so preoccupied with her thoughts of revenge against him that she forgot to knock and simply opened the door to the Redcloaks quarters.
“All I’m saying is that one of the Greencloaks has a serval so they definitely have some source of fresh meat!”
”Yeah, from a butcher shop, I sincerely doubt that the Greencloaks are going hunting every other day. Use your brain Hound ”
”But what if they are?! You don’t know Talon”
“Um…guys-“
”Hound, for the last time, no you cannot sneak out to catch a rabbit. Stead, back me up here”
”I am not getting involved in this”
”Guys-“
”Boooo, party pooper Stead here. He’s focused on boring stuff like ‘making sure we get our rights’ whatever that means ”
“Guys! Food’s here”
There’s a silence.
Then a sudden scramble as everyone lunges to grab their masks and place it on their faces.
But the damage had been done.
Tammy couldn’t get the image out of her mind.
The way the girl’s nose had melded to a taper like that of bird beak, still disturbingly flesh toned, while the area around eyes was mottled orange.
The inhumane reflective eyes of the canine transposed onto the young face, sunken deep into the skull showing a pinkish tissue at the corners.
Great Beasts above, was this really how they looked under the masks?
She felt vaguely nauseous
The Bat Redcloak took the tray from her hands and not unkindly pushed her out of the door.
She stood unmovingly outside, still processing what she had seen, then she shook herself out of her thoughts and hurried back to the kitchen.
How distressing.
The two Redcloaks were walking below her. The secretary bird girl and the dingo boy.
She peered a little closer.
”-well obviously Stead’s pissed. Shadow has the skills needed but she went and punched the leader of the Greencloaks”
”Yeah that kind of thing does tend to leave an impression in people’s minds”
”So she was obviously added to our list but he doesn’t want to leave our more vulnerable members without someone who can take care of them”
”Then who is he thinking, Heron or Jolt?”
”Can’t do Jolt, he’s had significant contact with the Heroes of Erdas”
”Of course he had, is it too much to ask that just one of our more level headed and smart people isn’t known by name to the Greencloaks? ”
“You are including Shadow, *Shadow* into our level headed people?”
”Oh you know what I mean”
“…Anyways!-
Trickster is talking about contacting them to-
The wind blew past her from where she was perched up on the ledge
He paused mid sentence.
The Redcloak turned his gaze upwards and spotted her.
”Shit!”
The two of them hurry along, disappearing down the hallway.
‘Well that could have gone better’ She thought curtly.
Essix ruffled her feathers and shook them loose of any dust. These Redcloaks were too jumpy, acting like cornered prey waiting for the predator to make a move.
Her human must be content with the sliver of information she could manage to steal from the claws of the Redcloaks.
Rollan’s presence in her mind faded enough for her to know that he had left her and was mentally back in his own body.
She took off in the sky, eager to nab a morsel of a rodent to eat.
“Echo, you should take a break”
Her voice trails off from the hum she had been maintaining at the interruption, the space beyond her eyes fading back into the solid four structural walls of immediate reality as she blinks back the afterimages.
It takes a minute to sync herself back to just her eyes and push her headache to a corner of her mind.
She snaps back to attention to where Stead is sitting at the table next to Trickster. The sloped set of his shoulders being the only indication of his exhaustion.
All of them were tired, the mental strain of the situation showing itself in different ways. Stead in particular, was being especially aware of his fellow subordinates, to a point she would called hovering if the whole situation didn’t put her own teeth on edge with anxiety.
There was too much riding on this for them to risk it.
A quick glance towards Trickster and Talon feverishly pouring over lists and careful calculations was enough to confirm that. They were playing a dangerous game with any wrong move would bring it down on their heads like a house of cards.
She wasn’t here to help the negotiation part of this ordeal. That had been left to the others. She had been brought along specifically as security to maintain the privacy necessary as they recuperated and cobbled together plans of attack in between meetings.
“Echo” Stead repeated more sternly this time.
And even through Echo wants desperately to push back against the order and stand her ground to insist that she remain at her post, her paranoia is warring with her innate nature to avoid conflict and keep her head down.
Things were already tense enough without her undermining Stead’s authority.
And yet- And yet—
Echo had always been a passive sort of person.
Average, run of the mill, letting life pass by without an original thought in her head to use her old classmates words.
However that wasn’t entirely true. Echo had her own opinions; it was just that they were buried by so much overthinking and anxiety as to make their presence non existent.
Too scared to make a wrong step, she just deferred to the whims of those around her.
A choice that left her at the end of the war, staring blankly at the blood on her hands with the grim realisation that abstaining from having an opinion was a choice itself.
But she was getting better.
That’s what she kept reminding herself, a mantra well worn in her mind.
She joined the Redcloaks to finally take accountability of her actions.
Even if sometimes it felt like she was slowly dying instead of improving.
So she takes in a fortifying breathe and says “ I don’t want to leave my post”
There, done.
Stead exhales and there’s so much exhaustion that whistles through his trachea that she feels herself flinch.
”Echo” he says gently “You pushing yourself to the brink will do us no favour in the long run”
A perfectly logical explanation and one rooted in the truth.
Even now her headache is slithering behind her eyes waiting her a moment to pull her under.
Even then, she found herself unable to move from her position.
Howl takes pity on her cause however he may glide though life with a shrug and blaise attitude, he has always been scarily perceptive when it comes to her emotional responses.
(There’s a story there, a role being fulfilled but she never pried and he never elaborated)
”It’s alright, I can keep watch long enough for you to go get some fresh air” He reassured her.
She bit her cheek and winced at the fresh iron sensation over her tongue as her fanged teeth once again pierced the abused area. A bad habit turned worse after the war.
Heron kept nagging her about it as the only one of the who had ‘an actual medical background!’ in his previous life instead of just cobbled together field techniques like the rest of them.
Her last remaining excuse for staying plucked from her grasp, there was nothing to do but accept defeat and bow out of the room.
She let herself be gently guided out of the room by Howl.
A few minutes later found her in one of the small courtyard gardens near the eastern exit.
She sat down and tried to empty her mind be focusing on her surrounding without slipping into her echolocation view to keep her headache from getting worse.
(Heron had warned her from overexerting her senses, that too much pressure could lead to her normal vision going dim, possibly permanently)
Her hands were faintly trembling even when she placed them flat against her thighs.
She instead mentally traced the path from their rooms to this location and another from the Greencloaks quarters.
Their first night had been spent by her and Stead carefully mapping the building using her powers to find every possible path and exit available. Running into Rollan has not been ideal- but she managed to make it out without too much suspicion by detouring to the kitchen
Her ears pricked and brought her background focus to the forefront, to the sound of faint steps walking somewhere near.
She stayed put and distantly thought about how that too much was a choice.
If she wanted, she could have slipped away.
She didn’t.
She was simply too strung out and tired to move.
The steps stopped next to where she was sitting on the grass and neatly folded down next to her.
”Hound” she acknowledged.
“Hey Echo” he softly said. And even though his voice was touched by the exhaustion all the team had, there was still so much warmth in the syllables of her name.
”How’s it going?” she asked and smiled at the loud exhale he dramatically let out. “Could be a lot better?” she reflexively grinned.
His mask tilted towards her in mock seriousness.
“And yet it could be worse!” He shot back like always when they would have this sort of exchange.
No matter the situation, it could always be a lot worse.
”No, but seriously-“ she paused.
“How bad is it?”
Hound took a moment before he responded, fingers automatically reaching down to pluck at the grass as he thought.
”Bad” he finally says. “Stead is really worried about Trickster, even more than he usually is. Talon and Howl keep picking fights with each other whenever they are free for more than two minutes which definitely isn’t helping.
“Granted-“ he added wryly “Trick doesn’t let them take a break for a second longer than they need before he ropes them back into work.”
“I needed some breathing room”
Logically she knew this. Knew that everyone was stressed out.
But her role as security has her up during nights and in the breaks in between meetings. She dozes during the meetings as unobtrusively as possible so she’s not running on nothing.
The situation left her with a sense of isolation from her team as they only really interacted at brief meal times taken at their assigned quarters.
”I won’t tell them that you are playing hooky” Echo offered up to him and felt soft emotions run through her as he gently placed his hand over hers and squeezed it
”Thanks”
For a moment she let that point of connection ground her and soothe her soul.
Then Hound shifted his weight as he leaned closer to her and her walls went back up.
”Echo-“ his voice falters and she knew this conversation was an inevitability but she was stressed and tired and all she could do in that moment is wish that the problem would just go away.
Because that wasn’t Hound, that was Soren reaching out to her with all the timidness of a stray dog.
”Are you okay?”
A pause.
”Are we okay?”
Silence was the wrong answer.
Silence implied guilt, a non verbal affirmation that was worse than any non committal noise ever could be.
And yet Echo couldn’t seem to unstick her tongue even if to just replace it with a foot in her mouth!
”Okay” Soft at first and then a stronger one as he repeats it “Okay”
Speak you idiot stupid girl! Speak before you ruin the best thing in your life!
She could tell that Hound had mentally switched to problem solving mode, going through the past few interactions, scrutinising them to find the issue, with all the singleminded determination of his hunts.
Essix All Seeing, she hates that she is doing this to him.
Echo can tell the moment he reached the exact wrong conclusion she had been afraid of.
”You’ve been distant ever since Worthy joked about us getting married”
Worthy was… a lot at times.
To his credit, he knew it as well. Worthy had changed a lot since his journey with the Heroes of Erdas. Changed for the better, he was more sure in his skin, less flippant about serious matters.
But a thousand quests could not remove the part of Worthy that pokes at and teases others.
The Redcloaks didn’t mind.
It simply made it more enjoyable to tease him back till he got flustered and stormed off, ears burning red.
It was simply bad luck that day that he managed to hit a wound that was fresh.
It was meant half as jest, directed towards Hound who had been lying with his head in Echos lap, and half as an awkward attempt at a genuine offer. Worthy had connections, via Dawson, and could have it arranged.
It had been laughed off that day and no one gave it a second thought and the conversation moved on. But a pit had opened in Echo’s stomach that compounded every passing day.
It had brought the matter she had been carefully ignoring to the forefront in her mind.
There was no more putting it off.
“I-“ Hound faltered “I know we haven’t really discussed anything like that. If there’s- If you are not comfortable I won’t- I don’t want to pressure you…“
Oh honey
Despite the anxiety and panic crashing through her, she feels her heart soften at this adorable silly man. How could he ever think that she wouldn’t want to spend her life with him?
“Hound, no it’s not that” she interjected.
”You didn’t scare me off or come on too strong. Believe me when I say that being married to you would be an honour for me”
”What’s the issue? There’s something you are worried about”
Ah here comes the moment of reckoning. No getting out of it now Echo.
”It’s- ItalkedtoHeron- Andhe- NotthatI-” She couldn’t seem to get a sentence out before another one tried to replace it.
“Hey, hey…It’s okay, relax and start from the beginning”
He squeezed her hand and then let go to give her some space, and she both loves and hates him for that.
Okay Echo. You can do this. Just start.
“I had been avoiding going to Heron about this since we were first stationed at the Place of Desolation”
There had been so much going on, that it felt silly to bring it up to Heron when King needed all hands on deck for the Wyrm. It was probably just the stress of the situation causing the issue. And after the battle she had forgotten about the matter completely.
And really in the grand scheme of things what’s a few missed cycles?
“After we shifted to the Tower and things started settling down, my cycles started back again so I thought, that solves that issue! No need to bother Heron now”
She took a deep breath.
”But they weren’t settling. I tried to wait it out but they just got…worse.”
Worse was an understatement.
Her cycles had changed to something strange. Instead of being spread out over a week, they were single days of excruciating pain and blood loss.
She could barely breathe or move, it was like fire racing through her lower body
Even then she thought that maybe it would fix itself, and adjust to something manageable.
But then she started seeing chunks of flesh along with the blood. The largest one had been the size of her little finger.
She freaked out.
”I finally went to Heron and told him everything”
She had barely held herself together as she sat in front of him, silently begging for him to have a solution or even just an explanation for why this was happening to her.
”He hadn’t seen anything like this before but eventually he had a theory for what was going on”
Heron had sat next to her and held her hand as he explained.
The thing was that the changes that happened to the Redcloaks were not linear. They didn’t magically wake up one day and boom! Dog tail!
It creeped up on them, a slow and gradual painful shifting of bones, skin breaking out into large rashes before growing hair follicles into fur, vision blurring for days as new nerves were formed.
There was no rhyme or reason for how fast or how much you transformed.
Some people had barely changed while others had large swaths of their body modified.
Echo had been one of the rare few ones in the sense that only her eyes and teeth were really affected.
”He said that it was possible that the reason so little of me had physically changed was because my changes were happening internally”
She had broken down in front of him then. Unable to justify or really explain why the thought of her organs shifting to Bofu’s made her want to tear them out of her own body.
She wanted them out. The idea that her own body was rejecting pieces of itself to make room for the new ones.
What had also changed? Her heart? Her stomach? Her lungs?
How much of her was unknowingly bat?
”Heron told me that it didn’t seem like the new organs would rot away inside due to incompatibility because all the changes everyone went through on the outside seemed to be slowly settling into equilibrium regardless of how extreme, like Talons bones readjusting so they stopped cracking at light pressure”
He had held her as she sobbed heavy tears, gently rubbing her back as she let all her grief and terror out. He had never been one who coddled, a sarcastic no nonsense sort of person who had no patience for dramatics.
He said no platitudes, just the facts of what he knew. It was unknown territory for him as well but his job was to do his best to make sure all the Redcloaks got treated, that their changes didn’t put them at risk for even more serious injury.
It was a thankless stressful job.
That day he sat for as long as it took for her to get herself under control.
Soren had grabbed a hold of her hand sometime in the middle of her recital, squeezing it like it was the only lifeline he could hold onto.
But she hadn’t finished her story, there was still the worst part of it left. She had to ignore him in favour of powering through it because if she stopped, she would never get those horrible words she was thinking out.
“He said that- that it was possible that the ability to have kids had remained intact. Just a…modified version instead. I have the choice”
Since the cycles were still continuing they must still be something they were prepared for, Heron had said. Any more than that was guesswork on his part.
”Deepseer above Soren, there’s a possibility that despite this horror show that’s my body I could have kids!
”I can’t- I can’t do that” Her carefully maintained self control was breaking down into pieces all around her.
But she needed him to understand. She needed the world to make sense in a way it hasn’t since that conversation in Heron’s office.
“Choice? What choice do I have?”
”How could I ever think about having kids if there’s a chance they could turn out like me, cursed with inhuman features”
Despite her best efforts her voice was blurring under the tears.
”I can’t do that to a child. I can’t leave them marked as something less than human, something other”
Soren was crying now, his mask dripping as his shoulders shook with the effort of suppressing them. He gathered her in his arms and she could hear every hitched breath and aborted sob.
She could hear his lungs struggle to contain his grief.
”No- this is our punishment. Surely, surely the Great Beasts would spare them from this fate” He pleaded to her, to the world, to anyone who might listen.
”I’m so so sorry Soren”
“What are you apologising to me for?” He asked wetly.
“I don’t know, that I can’t give you kids? That’s usually a pretty big deal in a relationship”
”Is that why you’ve been distant? Sylva do you really think that I’d not marry you just cause we can’t have kids? I’m upset because you’ve been in so much pain without anyone knowing or realising”
She laughed weakly as she scrubbed her eyes.
“It’s such a silly thing to be upset over. I never thought of myself as especially maternal. I always thought ‘Oh it’ll happen when it happens’ and never gave it a second thought”
It was an optional part of adulthood to her. A distant grown up version of her who was married and had a job, and had kids.
“But now that choice has been taken from me and shit man!- I feel like someone broke something fundamental in me. Something that made me human”