Chapter Text
“I still think you should get in the ball.”
“Is fine!” Rocky waves a claw at me dismissively. “Will not explode.”
“If you're so sure it won't explode, why are you making me wear these?” I gesture to my face, where a pair of heavy-duty lab goggles sit.
“Grace very delicate. Get injured when breathe wrong.”
“None of that was an assurance that it won't explode.”
“Grace soooo complain all the time. Trust Rocky.”
I groan, tugging my hands through my hair. My complaints are mostly a joke. Obviously I trust Rocky with my life, but he's just so snarky.
“Fine. Fine, okay.”
“Even if explode, force not enough to break airlock. Will be fine.”
“Yeah yeah, I know.”
Rocky giggles at me while he starts the airlock's depressurization sequence.
We're currently stress testing Rocky's newest project. An entire xenonite EVA suit! He'd taken more time building this one, and it's a lot less clunky than the one I'd worn to visit the Blip-A. The majority of it is made of flexible panels, so Rocky should be able to move with a lot more freedom. The downside of that is it's a lot thinner.
It had actually been mostly complete a few weeks ago. He's wanted to have more maneuverability in my atmosphere for a while. I'm getting weaker every day, and while Armando is useful, he has his limits. The original suit was a lot clunkier– just meant to be a rough prototype. But then we had our emotional talk about me being sad and lonely, and Rocky decided to dedicate all his time to redesigning the suit.
Originally, it was going to be a surprise. But we've kind of been clinging to each other for a few days, and it's hard for him to work on a giant secret project when we're both hovering over each other. The reveal, predictibly, ended with me crying like a baby again.
Once again I thank the Hail Mary's engineering team for having such an efficient water recycler. I'm probably crying out litres every day at this rate.
The suit is finished now. Rocky had spent the past two days finishing construction and double-checking all the welds. I'd like to say I helped, but I mostly just sat near him and watched. It's finally time to pressure test it.
Rocky had sealed the suit in his atmosphere, filling it with ammonia. It's currently sitting in the airlock that Rocky uses to transfer from his tunnels to the ball. It's super freaky looking. It kinda reminds me of how cicadas shed their exoskeleton, and leave cicada-shaped shells lying around. Except it's a completely clear Rocky-shaped shell.
We're going to depressurise the airlock, and see if the suit leaks at all. There is a very slim chance of it explosively decompressing. And exploding. But if it doesn't leak, and stays un-exploded, we'll fill the airlock with my atmosphere, and let it sit there for a bit. To make sure the pressure holds.
The airlock clicks. Decompression complete. My heart is in my throat as I wait for Rocky to check the instruments on the side of the airlock.
Rocky breaks the tension with a delighted squeak.
“No leak!” He skitters towards me, jazz-hands-ing. “Success!”
“Yes! Awesome!” I grin, copying his gesture. It didn't explode! And there aren't any leaks! Rocky's engineering is amazing!
“Pressurizing with Grace atmosphere.”
He flips a few switches, and the airlock starts to fill with oxygen. Once it's pressurised, we really just have to wait.
For the first time in weeks, I feel great. I woke up this morning actually feeling refreshed, and had a delicious non-taumeoba breakfast. I think it's the excitement of finally making some kind of progress. And the excitement of finally touching Rocky.
…
Eugh. That sounds super weird. Finally getting to… make contact? coexist with? Whatever. That all sounds stupid. I'm excited to touch him. In a normal, best-bros kinda way. We'll probably hug and then cry a lot. I honestly can't wait.
It's all pretty surreal. It all just went down perfectly. I'm so used to last-second tragedies that this feels too good to be true.
Ugh. Stop. I'm gonna jinx it.
But, yeah. I just can't believe that by tomorrow I'll be able to hug Rocky. Properly. There will still be a barrier, but I won't have to press myself against a wall, or awkwardly cling to a hamster-ball.
I stare at the xenonite suit. It's beautiful, even if it is a little freaky. The nature of Rocky's biology means that he doesn't really need much of a life support system. He mostly “breathes” to cool down his blood. There's some cellular respiration happening, but it's very little. Rocky's body only contains about a kilogram of actual organic material- so he could survive a lot longer than I could in an enclosed space. The Xenonite is insulating enough to trap his body heat and keep his atmosphere warm, but enough heat will leech into my atmosphere to keep him from overheating. It honestly works out perfectly. He'll still only wear the suit for short periods of time, just for safety reasons, but it's good to know that if he's ever trapped in it for any reason, he'll be perfectly fine for at least a few days.
The airlock clicks again. That was fast.
“Airlock pressurised.” Rocky announces, before settling down to wait in front of the airlock's instruments. “Now just wait.”
I pull the goggles off my face, and sit down to wait beside him.
——
“Rocky win again.”
I groan, reluctantly slashing through the tic-tac-toe board. He has to be cheating somehow.
There are previous games littered all over the xenonite barrier. Rocky won all of them. This kind of thing is a lot less fun when you're playing against a guy with a crystalline supercomputer for a brain.
Tic-tac-toe is the easiest game for us to play. Everything else involves an airlock, and our special pack of textured xenonite playing cards. I draw the boards on the xenonite wall with a dry erase marker, and Rocky taps the square he wants me to mark for him. He picked it up very quickly. I won the first game we played. He's won every other time since.
I swipe my sleeve across the wall, clearing off the evidence of my loss. Rocky puts his viewing device down, chittering in disappointment.
“Come on Rock-” I groan. I'm so sick of tic-tac-toe. “We've been doing this for an hour. You have to be bored too.”
Rocky ‘shrugs.’ He kinda just lifts up his whole carapace in his best approximation of a shrug, but I know what he means. “Only little bored. Grace reaction to losing very funny.”
“Thanks bud. I'm glad my misery is entertaining to you.”
I flop onto my back. I'd dragged the mattress in here after the first ten minutes of tic-tac-toe. Sitting on the hard floor wreaks havoc on my legs.
We've been waiting for an hour. There aren't any issues with the suit yet, but I convinced Rocky that we should wait at least two hours. Just in case.
I might be freaking myself out again. Rocky seems a lot less concerned about the suit’s integrity than I am.
It's equal parts terrifying and exhilarating. When Rocky gets in that suit, he'll be able to come over to my atmosphere. He'll be able to touch me. I want that so badly.
But I'm so scared. Images of Rocky lying motionless flash behind my eyelids. The suit is so thin. My atmosphere would set him on fire. I don't think he could survive being injured that badly again.
I trace the scar on my forearm. The last time we touched almost killed him. I kind of wish I was awake for it. Is that super weird? Thats probably super weird.
I'm being ridiculous. I know that. Rocky's xenonite suit is ten times stronger than my flimsy EVA suit. I'm in ten times more danger during spacewalks than he would be.
I pick at a loose thread on my shirt. I've been trying really hard to stop scratching at my arm. Whenever I unconsciously start doing it Rocky will chirp at me. It helps. All my scrapes are mostly healed. The large one is still scabbed over, but the smaller ones are pink and shiny with fresh skin.
Rocky has scars too. There's a line of slightly lighter mineral where Rocky's carapace had split open when Erid's gravity was bashing everything around. I remember in vivid detail how the wound looked when it was fresh– a silvery line of mercury tracing the top edge of his carapace.
His blood is beautiful. I hope I never see it again.
I stare down at my hands. It's so weird, knowing Rocky can't see color. Our blood looks the exact same to him. It's not fair. He'll never see how pretty he is.
I wonder if he thinks I'm pretty.
I know he can see inside me. He's pretty much a living sonogram machine. It's scary to be known that intimately. When we're both pressed up against the wall, Rocky can see every individual blood vessel in my body. He can see my lungs expand when I take a breath. Every part of me. Does he think it's pretty? In an odd way, I hope he does. Maybe being in space does make you crazy. I hope all my nerves and blood vessels are laid out beautifully.
In a strange way, I like that he sees me like that. I'm a walking anatomical diagram to him. I'm the only human he's ever met. He doesn't care about the scars under my nipples. He has no idea that my shape is different from other men. It's so difficult to put into words. I'm more than my skin, when he looks at me. When he looks at me he sees all of me. Not just the outer layer. That's nice.
Maybe our relationship is a little codependent. I can't imagine ever living without him. I miss Earth terribly. I miss the people, and the fresh air, and my tiny apartment. But now, when I picture Earth, I picture Rocky there with me.
Maybe I'm starting to be okay with not going home.
I get to have a new home now. I'm still terrified. I might not be able to survive on Erid. I might die before we make it into orbit. But I know Rocky's never going to leave me. That makes it a little less scary.
Rocky has a whole life down there. A family. He and Adrien had been considering having children before the astrophage crisis began. I think it's worth it. Me not being able to go home is worth it, if he gets to go home.
With time dilation, all my kids would have graduated by now. That's scary to think about.
“Grace?”
I make my way back to reality. Rocky's tapping gently against the barrier. I must have gotten lost in thought.
“Sorry.” I flip onto my side to face him. “What was that?”
I rub at my sternum. There's a deep pit of some unnameable feeling lodged behind my ribcage. It's grown familiar by now. A twisting mass of thorns growing inside my ribs.
“Grace heart fast. Freak out again, question?”
“Um.” I wasn't even aware my heart rate was elevated. I guess pondering your possible death and/or future on an alien planet will do that. “Maybe. I'm not really freaking out. Just… thinking.”
I raise two fingers to my neck, feeling for my pulse. It doesn't feel any faster. It's probably only elevated by like, 5 bpm. Rocky can track my heart rate with incredible accuracy– we tested him against a pulse oximeter once. He'd make an excellent nurse if his bedside manner was a little less awful.
“Think less hard. Only 34 minutes until suit pressure test done.”
I snort a laugh. “Okay Rock. I will do my best to think less hard.” 34 minutes. That's sooner than I thought. I must've been lost in thought for a while. 34 minutes, then Rocky will check the suit, and if everything's fine he'll be able to do his first Grace-atmosphere EVA.
I rub my chest idly. I'm hungry.
“Can you talk to me?”
“What topic, question?”
“Um. Anything.” I already know a lot about Erid, from a scientific standpoint. But I still don't know a lot about Rocky's personal life. “Tell me about Adrien?”
“Is Grace sure?” He fiddles with his claws, before seating himself in front of me. “Do not want make Grace feel…” He’s silent for a moment as he searches for a word I'll understand. “lonely. Closest word. ”
Aww, Rocky. “I want to hear about them.” It probably will make me feel lonely. Hearing about this person Rocky loves so much, that I have to wait three years to meet. But Rocky must feel so much worse. He's been waiting for over 40 years. It takes me a second to realise he probably meant that he didn't want to make me feel bad that I'm single.
“Adrian is biologist. Told you this.” I nod. I remember Rocky mentioning that. “Is very smart biologist. One of lead Eridians studying ways to make planet cold slower. Smart smart smart.”
“Geez, Rock.” I knew Adrien was smart, but I had no idea they were that important. “That's pretty awesome– they sound like a real catch.”
“Human sayings very strange. But yes. Adrian very popular.” Rocky's body language gets easier for me to read by the day. Right now, he looks almost embarrassed. Flustered? “Adrien smart smart smart and pretty pretty pretty. Very attractive voice. Rocky less pretty. Partnership very strange to many Eridians.”
“Aww Rock.” My mouth twists into a frown. “I think you're beautiful.”
He fidgets with his hands. I'm pretty sure if he had skin he'd be blushing. “Thank… But Grace not Eridian. Is different.”
“Well I think all those Eridians were just jerks.” I adjust myself on the mattress, tucking my arm under my head and curling up to be closer to Rocky. “Adrian is super smart, and I'm the smartest human you know, and we both think you're great. So those other guys were just dumb.”
Rocky makes the Eridian equivalent of an embarrassed giggle– A high pitched, choppy buzzing noise. I've labeled it in my head as him audibly blushing. “Different subject. Grace be quiet now.”
I mime zipping my mouth, before pulling up my blanket. I would sit up to be closer to Rocky's “eye level,” but I'm tired and also pretty sure I'm the only one who cares about stuff like that.
“This–” Rocky points to two small circles of blue stone embedded in his arm. “Is Rocky Adrien mate marking.” He holds the flat plane of his arm against the glass so I can get a better look. I know what most of the rest of Rocky's carvings mean– his ‘mission patch’ and name carving. I'd never asked about this one though. I kind of assumed it was just a coincidentally circular bit of the green he has scattered around his body. Looking closer, it's slightly more teal than his other green bits, and polished to be shiny and perfectly flat.
“Whoa. It's beautiful.” I raise a hand to trace the interlocking circles through the barrier. “That's kinda like your wedding band.”
“What is last word, question?”
“Wedding bands are pieces of jewelry that humans wear to show that they're married. Small rings usually made of gold or silver and worn around the left ring finger.” I point to the place a wedding ring would sit on my own hand. We should watch some romance movies soon so Rocky can get a better picture of human courtship. I'm not exactly a great source.
“Yes! Similar!” He pulls away from the barrier to jazz-hands at me. “Erid mate markings are made of partner's carapace. Smoothed and put into other partners body. Carapace heals around marking and makes permanent.”
“Wow. Like a decorative skin graft.” I'd explained skin grafts to Rocky a while ago. This explains why he was more freaked out about the possibility of the graft being rejected than the concept as a whole. Eridian's carapaces are literally just actual stone, so there are no immune systems to battle each other.
“Yes! Good comparison.”
“So that's a piece of Adrian's shell? And they have a piece of yours?”
“Correct. Is always placed here.” Rocky taps his mark twice. “Adrian has in same place.”
Huh. I absently trace the scar on my forearm. I wonder how Rocky feels about it. I had no idea its placement was culturally significant. Maybe it's like an Eridian friendship bracelet? He doesn't have anything from me though– so maybe it doesn't mean anything to him. I'm kinda disappointed by that thought. I try to shove that down. Wanting to exchange platonic wedding rings with your alien bestie is definitely weird.
“So, um.” I try to redirect my focus and will away my blush. “Adrian looks like that, huh? That's funny– They're actually a similar color to the planet Adrian.” Not really. The planet was much greener. But like, they're close enough for it to be a neat coincidence.
“Wow!”
“Yeah!” I lean in to get a closer look. Rocky notices, and presses his arm back up against the barrier. I peer through my glasses and lean in– up close, there are subtle striations in the color. It's a beautiful, rich teal. I understand what Rocky said about Adrian being pretty.
“It really is beautiful Rocky.” I smile, and Rocky lowers his arm. “Adrian must be gorgeous.”
“Told Grace. Adrien prettiest Eridian.”
“What do they look like? Are they the same height and shape as you?” I don't really have a good picture of what the Eridian species looks like as a whole. I've kinda just been imagining a bunch of hue-shifted Rockys.
“Adrien taller than Rocky. Rocky is small– made good candidate for mission.”
“Oh wow. That makes sense.” Bad scientist. Bad. Of course there's bodily diversity among Eridians. I honestly have no idea why I assumed there wasn't.
“Rocky is 0.6 meters tall. Adrien is 1.3 meters.”
“Oh wow.” Adrian is around four feet tall- over double Rocky’s size. They're only two feet shorter than me. I try to picture a four foot tall Rocky. Oh geez.
“Adrien is tall for Eridian. Average is 1 meter.”
Huh. Rocky's actually pretty short.
“Is part of why Rocky Adrian relationship was unexpected. Adrian much larger. Is a sign of desirability in mate.”
I snort a laugh. “It's actually the same way on Earth. Uh, kinda.” I really don't want to have to explain weird gender-based beauty standards to Rocky right now.
“Grace very tall! Is beautiful on Earth, question?” He taps around, like he's double checking my height. Like he hasn't got all my measurements memorized down to the millimeter. The freak.
“Erm…” I tug at my hair awkwardly. “I guess? I'm taller than average, and I've been told I'm handsome…” I know I'm like, objectively good-looking. I'm a natural blonde, and I at least was pretty fit before the malnutrition. “I guess I've never really thought about that. Obviously I want to look nice– but I guess I've never really considered my looks as a factor in being desirable to people.”
Rocky sways for a moment, thinking. I'm kinda nervous. I’ve never cared too much before, but now I find myself weirdly hoping that he thinks I’m attractive. Not that I want him to be attracted to me. That would be weird. Super weird.
“Grace is beautiful. Statement.” Rocky plants himself firmly in my line of sight. “Rocky has seen other humans in movie. Always think eh. Boring. But Grace not boring. Grace is very very pretty. Has good textures and nice movement, even if squishy body organs kind of disgust.”
My face is burning. I really hope I don't start crying. “Awww, Rock. That's like, the weirdest compliment ever.”
“Not weird! Is true. Grace body beautiful. Grace mind even more beautiful. Will be very popular on Erid.”
My gut twists at that last part. I don't know how I feel about that. “Um. You really think so? Other Eridians would be interested in me? Like… romantically?”
“Yes. Grace is mysterious alien. Lot of popular Erid romance media about similar situation.” Rocky's tone is off as he speaks. He seems like he might be a little uncomfortable too. “And Grace is very smart kind pretty. Would be… desirable mate.”
My face twists involuntarily. I lever myself into sitting up, tucking my knees to my chest. “I don't…” My voice sticks in my throat. “I mean. Not that I think you guys are freaky or anything! I would totally date an Eridian, I think. I just… don't really like the idea of a bunch of people being into me.” My eyes dart to the side. I've never really talked to anyone about this before. I mean– I've dated people before. Obviously. But I've always been friends with them for a while first. The idea of a bunch of strangers wanting to date me just… rubs me the wrong way.
Rocky chitters, and seems to relax. “Good. Am also uncomfortable with idea. Lots of Eridians would like Grace only because you are alien.”
The idea of Eridian alien-chasers makes me stifle a giggle. I'm glad Rocky doesn't think i'm weird.
“Want Grace to be happy. Will beat off suitors with stick if needed. Can make Adrian help. Adrien can hit with much larger stick.”
I grin. “That probably won't be necessary. But thanks.”
“Yes yes, of course. Would do anything to make Grace happy.”
I spread my arms and lean forward, letting the barrier catch me. Rocky reciprocates immediately, stretching up and thunking his carapace against the glass.
We sit there in silence for a bit, just enjoying each other's presence. Rocky's so warm. The xenonite insulates him enough that hugging him feels like clothes fresh out of the dryer, instead of instantly giving me second degree burns.
“I hope Adrian likes me…” I wonder out loud. I'm kind of like a pet that Rocky found out on the streets and got way too attached to.
“Adrian will love Grace. Love love love, just like Rocky.” He nuzzles up against me, pressing even closer. “Grace is very smart kind pretty. Adrian will be very excited to meet alien, but will love Grace for being Grace.”
Jeez. He makes it sound so romantic. My face heats up at the thought. God I'm being weird. He means it in a super platonic way, talking about his spouse, and I'm being weird about it.
“Thanks bud…” I mumble, pulling away from the barrier before Rocky does something freaky, like remark that he can hear the blood vessels in my face dilating.
I think I've gone too long without human contact, and I'm going a little crazy. The image of me, Rocky and Adrian in matching wedding dresses flashes in my mind. Definitely going crazy. Hopefully Rocky's magic touch suit fixes me. Magic touch suit. His xenonite EVA suit.
I need a nap.
“Adrian will probably volunteer to work on Grace habitat program. If Adrian not volunteer Rocky will ask. Want someone good to work on Grace habitat. Very very important.”
Okay, Rocky's still talking. Good. He hasn't noticed my freakout yet. “Yeah buddy. Sounds great.”
“Will also move Rocky Adrian home to be close to Grace habitat. Will need to build temporary home near Grace while new is being built.”
He sounds so sure of himself. I'm not too sure Adrian will agree to upend their entire life on my account. Geez– It's crazy that Rocky plans to upend his entire life on my account. I should say something. Tell him he doesn't have to move to stay close to me.
I really like the idea of our houses being next to each other.
I should be sick of it by now, but living without Rocky seems unthinkable. I wish we could just live in the same house.
I'm definitely a little codependent.
I rest my forehead against the barrier and close my eyes. Rocky's still talking, but I let his words dissolve into music. I'm really tired. My Rocky-enforced bedtime was hours ago, but we decided testing the suit was worth staying up for. I'm sure Rocky wouldn't mind if I just took a… quick nap…
I snap back to awareness at the sound of a beeping alarm.
“Your two hour timer has elapsed, Doctor Grace.” Mary announces from the speakers.
I rub my eyes, trying to force myself awake. Timer over! Suit ready!
Rocky is already over at the airlock, tapping at the numbers on its display.
I wait with bated breath– I can't see any of the readings at this angle, and even if I could, I have no idea what any of them mean.
Rocky slowly turns towards me. I stop breathing.
…
“Pressure stable! Atmosphere still only oxygen! No leak!”
He bounces towards me, enthusiastically jazz-hands-ing.
I kneel up on my knees, pumping my first in celebration “Yes! Yes! Fist bump!”
We both press our fists against the barrier a little too enthusiastically– the double impact makes a loud thunking noise, but I'm still grinning as I shake the pain out of my knuckles.
“Should test suit tommorow… Grace needs sleep…”
“What? Nooo, Rock c’mon… I'm not even sleepy anymore..”
“Yes okay we test suit now!!”
“Yes!”
I'm grinning like an idiot while Rocky begins the meticulous process of sealing the suit around himself. A kind of xenonite zipper wraps around the top part of his carapace, so he can just stick his legs in and then use them to seal it up. It takes a while. He has to interlock each teeny tiny piece, then double check them.
I'm enraptured as Rocky carefully closes up the suit. I barely register the various aches and pains in my body due to the anticipation. We're both holding our breath. Metaphorically, on Rocky's end. He doesn't have lungs. But if he did, he'd be holding his breath too.
Finally, he's done. The suit fits him perfectly, a barely-there layer of xenonite shimmering around him. It's still clunky, and his movements are a little awkward when he tests his mobility. But it's so much better than the ball.
I actually stop breathing once he gets in the airlock. He doesn't say anything, so neither do I. The ship's silence only makes the beating of my heart that much louder. I count down the seconds in my head as he waits to cool down in the airlock.
And then he's out. Holy crap. Rocky's standing on my side of the barrier. A spike of fear shoots through me– what if the suit fails and he dies? But that fades as Rocky continues to stand there, unharmed.
He's not moving. Why isn't he moving? I think I'm shaking a little.
“Come here?” My voice is barely more than a whisper. It feels wrong to break the silence so abruptly. “Please?”
He comes towards me. Hesitantly, like a frightened animal. Why is he so scared?
As soon as he's close enough, I reach out to touch him. Before I can make contact, he jerks back violently. We both freeze.
Oh. That makes sense.
“Sorry. Sorry Sorry.” Rocky's voice is low, and he hesitantly steps back towards me. “Grace please– careful please.”
He's afraid of hurting me.
“It's okay. You're not gonna burn me bud, I trust you.” I reach out again, slower. I let my hand hover an inch or so away from him. “See? Doesn't even feel hot.”
“Okay.” He acquiesces. “Still careful.”
Slowly, I rest my hand against his arm. It's fine. He's the same temperature the xenonite barrier usually gets when we're both pressed up against it. Hot, but not hot enough to be too uncomfortable. Like, around hot water bottle temperature.
Rocky visibly relaxes when I don't immediately jerk my hand back and start screaming. I grin at him, rubbing his arm. “See! All good.”
There's a second of silence. Rocky breaks first.
He clambers into my lap, pretty much launching himself onto me and clinging. He's mindful of his weight, but I still go down hard onto the mattress.
I immediately hugged him back. Obviously.
“Grace-” Rocky chitters happily between words. “Grace-” My best guess is that it's the Eridian equivalent of a mix between purring and laughing.
“Rocky-” I think I'm crying a little bit. “Ohmygosh Rocky-” Or a lot.
I'm kind of sobbing into him actually. It goes a long way to show how happy Rocky is that he doesn't immediately call me disgusting.
You might think that having four hundred kilograms of hot stone on your chest would be unpleasant, but when it's your best friend
and you haven't touched anyone in years, it's honestly pretty awesome. Rocky's like a weighted blanket that loves me.
It's overwhelming. Part of my brain wants to shove him off me and scramble away into a corner to hide. A much louder part of my brain wants to stay here forever.
It dully registers to me that this is the first time I've touched someone in years. It's nice. It's really, really nice. Rocky's hard, and unyielding. He doesn't breathe. There's no soft give of skin beneath my hands. He's definitely not human, but he's alive, and that's enough to satisfy my monkey brain
I'm kind of just lying on my back and sobbing into him. I'll probably be embarrassed over this later, but right now I really couldn't care less. Rocky's still purring, and is absolutely going to town with my hair. He seems fascinated by it, running his fingers through it and ruffling it. He's really just kinda petting me with three hands. That's probably something I should object to, but it feels really nice.
Rocky keeps petting me while I calm down. He whispers at me, but the notes are too low for me to make out. I catch my name more than a few times.
I sniffle hard, then extract one arm from where I was clutching at Rocky, before using it to wipe my eyes with the hem of my shirt.
“Okay.” My voice comes out hoarse, and I sniff again. “I'm okay now. Sorry. That was a lot.”
I'm probably super gross right now. I cut my losses and decide to just blow my nose with the hem of my shirt. Whatever. It's already nasty, and I'm trying to ration my tissues.
“Grace not have to be sorry. Is okay.” Rocky carefully lifts himself off me, settling to my side on the mattress instead. He curls up in the dip of my waist, before grabbing one of my hands and idly playing with my fingers. “Rocky will not complain about disgust fluids this time only.”
“Thanks buddy.” I yawn. “Means a lot.”
Rocky hums at me, and goes back to messing with my fingers. He's incredibly gentle, carefully bending my joints back and forth and smoothing his claws against my palm. I let him move me, marveling at the engineering of his suit. The panels surrounding his hands are so delicate that they look almost like glitter. What must be hundreds of thousands of tiny xenonite triangles interlace to form the most complex part of his suit. It's beautiful. I can't imagine being able to make so many tiny pieces, nevermind having the patience and skill to assemble them. Rocky is amazing. I can barely even feel the seams.
I twist the hand that Rocky’s playing with out of his grip, before moving to lace our fingers together. His claws are a little too thick to be comfortable, and the position of his thumb makes it awkward. We make it work though. I smile, and he chitters at me.
‘I was right.’ I think.
We fit perfectly together.