Chapter Text
There was one thing Yuri regretted about going to the bar with Loid Forger.
For the next two days he compulsively washed his hands every time he passed a bathroom or kitchen sink. Ugh! Why had he chosen to shake the man’s hand? It was even worse than that damn first bump. At least Forger had been wearing gloves then.
The fifth time he walked out of the bathroom at HQ on Monday morning, Lieutenant Curtis stopped him in the hall.
“What’s up with you? Did you bloody your hands in an interrogation?”
“No, sir. It’s from…a handshake,” he muttered.
The Lieutenant frowned in concern. “Someone pull a knife from their sleeve? Or hide broken glass in their glove?”
“No, no, it’s not like that,” Yuri corrected him hastily. At his superior’s raised eyebrow, he sighed. “It was my sister’s husband. I went out for drinks with him over the weekend and for some reason I shook his hand at the end.”
All signs of worry disappeared from Lieutenant Curtis’ face. He shook his head, turned around and kept walking.
“You’re seriously still going on about that? Must be awful for the poor guy to have a brother-in-law like you.”
Yuri bit back an instinctive retort about how Loid Forger was most definitely not his brother-in-law. More often than not these days, Yuri admitted to himself that he did indeed have a brother-in-law, not just an arrest waiting to happen who lived in the same house as his sister.
“Well, I actually invited him to drinks to thank him for protecting my sister,” he made himself explain.
On his latest performance review, the top bullet point under Areas for Improvement had been ‘judgment clouded by personal grudges.’ Lieutenant Curtis hadn’t named names, but everyone in the division knew who he was referring to. The fact it was on record made the message clear: if he wanted to advance in the Service, he’d have to shape up and get over his animosity toward Loid Forger. At least during work hours.
The Lieutenant looked at him with a mix of disbelief and amusement. “Is this really my subordinate I’m talking to? Or someone wearing his face?”
A mock gasp came from behind him. “Twilight! Tell us what you’ve done with Yuri right now!”
Yuri jerked his head away as Chloe made a grab for his face. “Ha ha. Don’t get the wrong idea, it’s not like I’m all buddy-buddy with the guy now. He still has a lot to prove before he can be truly worthy of my sister.”
“Yeah, alright.” Chloe bumped her shoulder against his. “No need to act tough, I always knew you had it in you.”
“I’m serious! He may be willing to sacrifice himself for her, but that’s worth nothing if he simply gets shot and leaves her defenseless!”
Yuri faltered at the memory of his sister’s teary face as she threw herself at her husband in the aftermath of the hijacking. She had been shaking in fear for his life, begging him never to put himself in danger for her sake again.
Damn you, Loid Forger, Yuri seethed. Not only would you leave my sister open to attack, but you’d break her heart on top of that!! I need to whip you into shape immediately!
“What are you talking about?” Chloe asked. Again Yuri realized he had muttered all of that out loud. An unfortunate habit he had to correct.
“I’m going to train Loid Forger in self-defense so he can actually protect my sister next time.”
“Okay…and is he aware of this?”
“Of course he is! I told him to meet me at the park on Thursday and he agreed.”
“Thursday? You mean you’re skipping team workout night to hang out with your brother-in-law?” Chloe said, pretending to be wounded.
“He’s not my—!” Yuri changed course as an idea struck him. “That’s right…it is team workout night. Maybe I could bring him to the gym. Better environment to test his abilities.”
“To pound his face into the ground you mean.”
Yuri didn’t exactly disagree, but he had to make an effort to be mature in front of the Lieutenant so he could enlist his help for the new plan.
“Please, sir, would you allow an exception to the no outsiders rule this Thursday? If I brought Loid Forger in, the whole team could help assess him and identify anything I’ve missed.”
Lieutenant Curtis sighed. “That would be a giant waste of resources.”
“Aw, come on, sir, it would be so fun!” Chloe protested.
Their superior paused. He had a soft spot for the only female rookie on the team and tended to be more patient and lenient with her. Which Yuri didn’t mind at this particular moment.
“You do realize we’d have to use covers, don’t you? As would everyone we run into,” he said gruffly.
“That’ll make it even more fun!” Chloe said. “Don’t worry, Lieutenant, I’ll make sure everyone knows ahead of time. It’ll be so interesting to finally meet this evil supervillain we’ve heard so much about.”
“Now wait a minute, we don’t need the entire division in on this–” Yuri began.
“Don’t need the entire division on what?” Director Wilker called from behind them. “What, are you young’ns plannin’ some kind of exclusive party without me?”
All three of them froze before turning to salute.
“No, sir, it’s just that Yuri wanted some advice on his brother-in-law. Again,” Lieutenant Curtis said with a pointed glance at Yuri.
“Still on about that?” The Director slung an arm around Yuri’s shoulders, making him stumble a bit. “What kinda advice you lookin’ for, son?”
“Hello, Doctor Forger speaking.”
“Hey. Change of plans. Meet me at the gym on Haven and Plotner this afternoon.”
“Oh, Yuri?”
“Obviously.” Dumbass.
“I was just a bit surprised to get a call from you at work. Any particular reason for the change?”
“Proper equipment to train with. And privacy so you won’t be humiliated in front of a bunch of kids in the park. You’re welcome.”
“I appreciate that, but it’s a bit out of the way—”
“Just this one time, my sister will understand. She’s probably over the moon that I’ve invited you out twice now, isn’t she?”
“Yes, she’s been very happy. I’d just been hoping to take Bond for a walk at the same time so she wouldn’t have to.”
“I will pay your sketchy ass friend to walk your dog.”
“Sketchy ass friend?”
“That short guy who showed up in the tank after the hijacking! Now stop making excuses. 5:30 PM, the real work begins.”
“Now just a—”
Click.
Had it been a dick move to ‘forget’ to tell Loid Forger about the new location until the last minute? Maybe. Yuri simply hadn’t had time to worry about it, because as soon as Director Wilker had muscled his way in, the past few days had been full of contingency planning on top of the team’s regular workload.
The Director never went to the SSS gym. They all guessed he was either too old for regular workouts or had a home gym installed at his mansion. But he took every opportunity he could to dine or drink with his subordinates, sometimes crashing house parties in disguise, all apparently out of loneliness.
As someone who never went to his colleagues’ parties anyway, Yuri didn’t particularly care what the boss chose to do in his free time. Now though, he had to be careful. There was a chance Loid Forger could recognize the Director’s face from the newspapers. And while Yuri would have taken great pleasure in intimidating him with that knowledge, he didn’t want Yor to hear about it under any circumstances.
The other downside (or was it an upside?) of the Director’s involvement was that the entire bureau had been drawn into the plan. The locker rooms and cafeteria were abuzz with chatter about how they’d put Yuri’s brother-in-law to the test. Discreetly, Yuri kept reminding them. To his dismay, Loid Forger had taken on a sort of mythical status built on everything Yuri had ever said about him. Which he tried to correct in haste whenever a wild rumor crossed his hearing.
“No, he doesn’t look like a movie star! Being blond doesn’t imply anything about his looks, only his lack of intelligence!”
“Yeah he’s a decent chef, but nowhere near as good as my sister! And what kind of man likes to cook anyway?”
“No, he’s a horrible father, can’t discipline his kid to save his life. Guess that’s what happens when a shrink tries to be a dad.”
“Jeez, you look more nervous than Loid will probably be,” Chloe tutted as they left their respective locker rooms at 5 PM, dressed in nondescript workout clothes. He was glad to see she’d ditched the handcuff-themed jewelry. So tacky.
“Tch. Bullshit.” Yuri resisted the urge to tug at the sweatband on his head. Then, because he needed to set a good example as a ranked officer, “Thank you for setting up the distraction for the boss, by the way.”
He ignored the way Chloe’s face lit up. “Aw, Yuri, that’s so sweet!”
He ignored the way his own face flushed. “Wh-what are you talking about? Ugh, let’s just get to the gym.”
He also had to ignore Lieutenant Curtis’ knowing half-smile as he had observed that entire interaction. Most of the time their superior was the model of solemn professionalism, but off hours he loosened up a bit and tended to tease the two of them about their weird dynamic. Weird because Chloe made it weird with her spontaneous bouts of girly behavior and almost-flirting. Why was it that only the men in the division were disciplined for harassment, but Chloe never was?
“Well, Yuri. We’ll see you in there,” Lieutenant Curtis said with a nod. He’d donned a loose shirt and sweatpants as well and mussed his hair out of its neatly gelled lines. “I hope this is worth our while.”
“I’ll do my best not to let you down, sir.”
Chloe waved as she joined the Lieutenant, and Yuri went the other way out of headquarters to wait for Loid Forger at the street entrance to the gym. In hindsight, it might have been a poor idea to invite him to a facility reserved exclusively for SSS members. But the building wasn’t directly connected to HQ, at least from the outside. The entrance most employees took was at the end of an underground tunnel leading from the SSS building to the gym. There were a couple of other government offices on the surrounding block, so civilians might assume that it served all government workers.
Just like last time, Loid Forger arrived promptly. Yuri studied him from across the street amidst the rush hour crowd. He was already dressed in casual clothes, though he carried a briefcase and had his jacket slung over his arm. Yuri scoured his face for any sign of nervousness or suspicion. All he saw was tired resignation in place of the usual sycophantic smile.
Yuri frowned in disdain. Surely Loid Forger couldn’t be that tired from his overpaid desk job. All he had to do was listen to crazy people ramble about their problems and pretend to care. It just went to show how much he didn’t deserve Yor, who worked ten times harder than anyone Yuri knew, and did it all with an unflagging smile.
Forger attempted a smile once he spotted Yuri, but this time it was obvious that his heart wasn’t in it. Yuri had seen that look on his face a couple of times before when he insulted him in front of Yor or interrupted an argument between them. It made him feel marginally better that he could get under the man’s skin like no one else.
“Ready to get to work?” Yuri said in lieu of a greeting.
“As ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose,” Forger said, his smile tightening.
“I won’t go easy on you,” Yuri warned as they entered the lobby. “You’ll learn like I did, getting thrown into the deep end.”
“I’d expect nothing less from you, Yuri,” was the response.
Yuri preferred semi-sullen, double-edged Loid Forger to his shiny plastic twin. He wondered how much more anger he might see out of him by the end of the day. In his experience, beatings were the fastest way to make someone angry. If they weren’t scared shitless instead.
He flashed his ID at the reception desk and the woman waved them both through, having been notified ahead of time of his guest. They went to the men’s locker room where Yuri opened his own locker for Forger to put away his briefcase and jacket. Instead, Forger fished a combo lock out of his pocket and took the locker next to his.
Suspicious. What kind of person carried a lock around? Granted, Yuri had called him a few hours ago with the change in location, so he had had some time to think ahead and find a lock to bring along.
“Confidential patient files,” Forger explained. “Berlint General upholds high standards for how we handle documents outside of the office.”
Hmm. Yuri let it pass. He should have planned ahead for a way to check the contents of Forger’s briefcase just in case there was anything incriminating in there. Maybe he could still have a colleague do that while they trained.
“So do you work out here a lot?” Forger asked as they exited the locker room.
Unfortunately Yuri didn’t go to the gym as often as he’d like. The SSS kept him busy with paperwork these days, though he did try to keep up his home workout routine no matter how tired he was. Ever since Chloe had challenged him to be smarter about protecting his sister, he’d relentlessly trained to increase his dodging speed.
“Yeah,” Yuri said, and offered nothing more. He led them to the weight room where some of his colleagues had positioned themselves among the machines and free weights.
“Hmm.” Forger looked around at the impressive array of equipment. “Does self-defense usually begin with strength training?”
No, it didn’t. But what did a fancy pants doctor know about that anyway?
“Need to get a baseline of where you’re at,” Yuri said, ignoring the question. Behind his back, he discreetly signed to one of his teammates to check Forger’s locker. “How often do you run? How long?”
“Every morning with our dog, about 45 minutes.”
Yuri had seen the Forger dog. It was more like a cow. 45 minutes was a good stretch of time but useless if you could only jog at 8 kilometers an hour.
“What about lifting?”
A nervous neck scratch. “Well, unfortunately I don’t have regular access to strength training equipment, but I try to do pushups in the living room. And I’m constantly lifting my daughter. And sometimes Yor when she’s had a bit too much to-”
“Stop,” Yuri barked, ignoring how several colleagues snickered behind his back. “Your kid is what, six? And she still wants to be carried?”
A puzzled look crossed Forger’s face. “Developmentally that’s not out of the ordinary for her age. Didn’t you want to be carried as a young child?”
…Yes. Yuri had routinely asked his sister to carry him up to age ten, but he wouldn’t admit that under the threat of death. Still, the continued snickers behind him drove him to change the topic faster.
“Instead of coddling her, you should let her sit on your back when you do pushups.” If you even do any pushups at all.
“That’s a good idea…though knowing my daughter, she’ll definitely take advantage of that.”
Before Yuri could retort, Chloe approached them with a cheerful wave. “Hi Yuri! Who’s your friend?”
“He’s not my friend!” Yuri said reflexively. Chloe’s conniving smile made it clear how much she was enjoying this. “He’s…my brother-in-law.”
“Loid. Pleased to meet you…?” Forger extended his hand with that annoying smile.
“Chloe.” She looked far too charmed by a mere handshake. And she called herself an SSS agent! “So you’re the brother-in-law!”
Yuri glared at her, but couldn’t do much more than that as she continued to go off script.
Forger gave an uncertain laugh. “Oh. Didn’t realize I already had a reputation among Yuri’s friends.”
“She’s not my friend either!” Yuri sputtered before he could help himself.
He was met with a raised eyebrow from Loid Forger and a look of feigned hurt from Chloe.
“Oh, so is she your…”
Yuri could see where the man’s mind had traveled just as Chloe’s pout turned into an even more smug smile.
“Classmate,” he corrected sharply. “We were university classmates.”
“Ah, I see. That’s nice you were able to keep in touch after graduating.”
“Most days it’s nice,” Chloe had the audacity to joke, and Forger had the audacity to laugh!
“Anyway,” Yuri said pointedly, “I brought him here to train. So if you’re done, we need to get started.”
“Train for what? You seem really fit already, Loid,” Chloe said, faking confusion. Her eyes flitted up and down Loid Forger’s body in a completely inappropriate manner. Didn’t she understand what ‘brother-in-law’ meant? He was a married man!
“Please, he walks his dog and calls it a workout,” Yuri said derisively. Clearly his trust in Chloe had been misplaced. Deciding to ignore her as much as possible, he turned to Forger and gestured toward the floor. “Drop and give me twenty.”
The man hesitated with a self-conscious glance at their onlooker before obeying. Yuri tried to wave Chloe off surreptitiously but she ignored him right back, continuing to stand there and gawk. He gritted his teeth and folded his arms. This was not what he had had in mind when he’d asked for help assessing his brother-in-law.
To his credit, once Loid Forger began his pushups, he maintained correct form and didn’t pause for breath once. Not that that was anything special. If he couldn’t manage twenty pushups, no amount of self-defense technique would save his sorry ass from a trained assailant.
“Alright, not bad,” Yuri allowed as the man stood up and dusted himself off. He nodded toward the back wall. “Pull-ups next.”
“Hey, wait,” Chloe said. “Aren’t you going to do any?”
“What, pushups?” Yuri said, annoyed by the needless intervention. “I’m not the one who needs training.”
Chloe looked him up and down in an entirely different way than she’d done to Forger, and his annoyance spiked into indignation.
“Fine!”
Yuri planted his hands on the mat with an aggressive slap and did twenty pushups twice as fast as what the other man had managed.
“There!” he said, drawing on his training to hide his shortness of breath. “Now let’s get a move on.”
“You look more winded than Loid,” Chloe remarked. “What exactly are you gonna train him in?”
Yuri rounded on her as Loid Forger laughed politely.
“Listen, this is none of your–”
“Yuri was clearly going faster–”
“What’s going on over here, gentlemen?” Lieutenant Curtis said from behind him.
“Sir–I mean, Mr. Curtis!” Damn it! First Chloe and now the Lieutenant were tripping him up.
“Hello, Yuri. Good to see you again. Who’s your friend?”
Yuri suppressed his instinctive response this time and properly introduced his brother-in-law to his superior.
“Nice to meet you, Loid. Chad Curtis, Ministry of Commerce. Yuri and I worked together on a project once.”
“That’s great. Yuri’s always been such a hard worker.”
Yuri bristled at the presumptuous compliment. “Watch it, Forger. Don’t act like you know me.”
He was subjected to questioning looks from both his colleagues.
“Er, I mean…only my sister’s allowed to say that! Because she works harder than all of us combined! And if you want to protect her, we need to get back to work right now.”
“Right, you were about to show us how many pushups you can do,” Chloe said.
“That is not what I said!”
Chloe shrugged. “It just looks like he can do more than you.”
Forger laughed that infernal laugh again and tried to deflect. “No, Yuri’s much younger and fitter, I definitely can’t keep up.”
“Hey, age has nothing to do with it! Stop making excuses and we’ll see who’s stronger,” Yuri seethed, and dropped back to the ground. “Let’s go.”
Other coworkers had gravitated toward them in curiosity, which again was not what he had intended. But he was invested now. He’d show Forger to patronize him.
“I’m serious, Yuri, you don’t have to prove anything. I know you’ll win,” Forger said.
“That’s exactly the kind of pushover attitude that’ll get you killed. Come on, are you a man or not?”
“Uh, alright…”
They got into position side by side, surrounded by murmuring colleagues. Yuri went at a moderate pace so Forger couldn’t bow out by claiming his bullshit old man handicap.
The first ten pushups passed in silence, both of them breathing evenly without any sign of muscle strain. The next ten, Forger’s arms began to twitch.
“Really?” Yuri huffed as they kept going. “If you can’t make it to forty, you’re not worth my sister’s time.”
“Trying.”
Oddly, Forger’s twitching shoulders reminded him of that fateful day in Shellbury when he’d faced off against Twilight. Specifically when he had gone to Yor’s home afterward and noticed her husband’s right arm shudder as he reached for a teacup.
Looking back, how could he have ever thought Loid Forger was Twilight? He was just an out of shape drama club nerd who went to medical school.
“Yuri, stop being so mean. Not everyone works out as much as you,” Chloe said. “Here, let me even things out.”
Whoops of laughter rippled through the group of onlookers as Yuri nearly collapsed under the sudden weight of Chloe sitting on his back.
“Hey! Get off of me!” he choked out. Next to him, Forger paused.
“Just do five more. You can manage that, right?” Chloe said lightly.
“I’m sure he can,” Lieutenant Curtis said before Yuri could object. “Can’t you, Yuri?”
As if an indirect order from his superior weren’t enough, his colleagues began chanting his name. How had they all turned on him so fast? Loid Forger was supposed to be the one under scrutiny, not him!
“Of course I can,” he grumbled, and painstakingly lowered himself to the floor for the first out of five. Forger matched his slower speed quietly, seemingly the only person who wasn’t laughing at him.
Five pushups crawled by as Yuri’s pride warred with the limits of his spine. The nerve of this woman! His sister would never be so crude!
“There!” he declared as he finished the fifth pushup to a round of cheers.
Chloe hopped off his back and clapped. “Thanks for being a good sport, Yuri.”
“Whatever, you don’t weigh that much,” he groused, standing up and stretching out his back. He rolled his eyes as Chloe beamed. She interpreted the dumbest things as compliments.
He turned back to Loid Forger only to find him surrounded by his coworkers.
“So do you work out with Yuri often?” Lieutenant Peters asked.
“No, actually this is the first time. We both have rather busy careers, I guess,” he replied.
“What do you do for work?” Lieutenant O’Conner said.
“I’m a psychiatrist at Berlint General.”
“Oh, interesting!” Chloe chimed in. “I thought all psychiatrists were much older. At least that’s how they look on TV.”
Forger laughed. “Well, with age comes wisdom and experience. Patients do seem to prefer older doctors for that reason.”
“Alright, we need to–” Yuri tried to interject.
“If you’ve got a busy career, that must not be a problem for you,” Chloe went on. “How old are you exactly, Doctor Forger?”
“Uh, I’m 32.”
“And how tall?”
“187 centimeters…”
“Chloe, how is any of this relev–” Yuri tried again.
She completely ignored him. “Hmm…and if you don’t mind my asking, how much do you make a year?”
“Whoa there, hardly a topic for the gym, don’t you think?” Lieutenant Curtis cut in as Forger gave a nervous chuckle. Yuri thought he heard a low rumble come from his stomach. The man was probably used to having dinner around this time. What a pampered lifestyle.
“Thank you, Mr. Curtis, I do think we should move on to the other–” Yuri began.
“I’m sure you make enough to provide well for your family. What kind of restaurants do you take your wife to on dates?” the Lieutenant asked.
“Uh, well…”
Yuri opened his mouth to interrupt once again, but a tug on the back of his shirt made him pause. Chloe gave him a pointed smile and shook her head. Clenching his fists, he reluctantly stood back to observe the free-for-all. Clearly none of his peers and seniors were going to respect his wish that the assessment remain discreet.
Though what did he care? It wasn’t like Loid Forger had the brains to figure out that everyone here was SSS. Certainly Chloe’s unprofessional behavior projected the exact opposite image. Which…might have been why she was acting that way. Huh.
To Yuri’s satisfaction, Loid Forger’s plastic smile started to show signs of wear and tear as the barrage of questions continued, ranging from how he and Yor had met to how they celebrated their anniversary to where he had gone to university and on and on.
“He seems like a great guy,” Chloe whispered. “Dunno why you hate him so much.”
“You wouldn’t say that if your sister kept her marriage a secret for a year,” Yuri grumbled. “He reeked of lies the first time I met him.”
A light sheen of sweat had appeared on Loid Forger’s forehead as Lieutenant Curtis grilled him about how he handled marital disagreements. Yeah, that’s right. Keep him on the ropes.
“It just goes to show that first impressions aren’t everything,” Chloe said.
Up until a few weeks ago, Yuri would have argued back and insisted that something was fishy about Loid Forger. Like the bloodhound the SSS had trained him to be, he wouldn’t have given up until he had sniffed out all his lies. But now…
“I don’t hate him,” Yuri said quietly. “When he vowed to protect my sister, it wasn’t a lie.”
He half-expected Chloe to make fun of him, but she only smiled. This time, without any hint of smugness. Strangely it reminded him of Yor during that dinner, when she’d said she wasn’t lonely anymore.
But she’d also told him how much she treasured the days they’d spent together as children, despite all the hardships she’d suffered on his behalf. And that she was proud of the man he’d become.
His chest fluttered in a weird way. He coughed into his fist and turned away, refocusing on Loid Forger’s unofficial inquisition.
“Alright, alright, enough beating around the bush,” Lieutenant Nicholson drawled, interrupting a discussion about parenting philosophy. “I only have one question for you. Do you love your wife?”
Yuri’s eyes widened at the brazen question. A sudden silence fell on the entire room.
“Yes. I love her.”
Even though Yuri had heard him declare it before, it had always been in private. And it’d always felt off somehow, tainted by a gloss of salesmanship. But here, Forger wore the same gentle smile that he saw on Yor’s face whenever she talked about her new family. An odd mix of jealousy and resignation welled up in him.
“There you have it, Yuri,” Lieutenant Nicholson said breezily, turning to him with a grin. “May they live happily ever after.”
“Spoken like a true family man. Guess you’re a good guy after all,” Lieutenant Curtis added.
“Congrats, you passed!” Chloe called before Yuri could stop her.
“Uh…thank you?” Forger said, glancing at Yuri in puzzlement.
Lieutenant Curtis chuckled. “Nothing to worry about, Loid. Yuri had just asked us to check whether you were worthy of his sister.”
“Wait, sir—Mr. Curtis!” Yuri stammered.
“Yeah, from hearing Yuri whine about you ‘stealing’ his sister, we were wondering what kind of tough guy you were!” Lieutenant Nicholson said.
“Oh, I guess I should be relieved then…”
“I never said he was tough!” Yuri objected before remembering to respect Nicholson’s rank. “Er, I mean…the reason I brought him here was to toughen him up! We should head to the mat room next.”
“By all means, don’t let us keep you. Don’t rough him up too much though, we should all go out for dinner after!”
“That’s a very kind invitation. But I do need to get home to my–” Forger began.
“Did somebody say dinner?”
The effect of the newcomer’s voice was instant. An entirely different kind of silence cut through the room as the door to the weight room slammed open, revealing Director Wilker in his gym rat disguise. Neon sweatbands on his head and wrists, a white sleeveless undershirt that did nothing to hide his wrinkly arms and old battle scars, and oversized iridescent sunglasses. Four pizza boxes were neatly balanced on his right hand.
Yuri thought he heard a gurgle from Forger’s stomach again. What a glutton.
“Yo yo yo, Yuri my workout buddy! ‘Sup!” the Director waved with a grin. “Who’s this? Do I have competition?”