Chapter Text
One whole week had passed since Nakamura had collapsed on the hill, crying. Since that moment, something inside him had broken. He had stored the notebook containing the story of him and Hirose in an empty shoebox under his bed after the incident and had not looked at it again. The images of a story that would never come true for him hurt too much. At school, only certain people notice his changed behavior, such as Kawamura or even Hirose. Nakamura is even more silent than usual, always keeping his gaze lowered so as not to draw attention to himself or to have to look Hirose in the eyes. His behavior is especially convenient when Hana spontaneously comes into the classroom to visit her boyfriend during the break. Although he can still hear their conversations, they are very one-sided, since Hirose mostly only responds with an “aha” or “hm...”, but it is enough for Nakamura to get an idea of the situation. Hana does not come to the classroom often, but when she does, all eyes are on her and Hirose. They are seen as the ultimate dream couple, and Nakamura has to admit that they really do look good together. Even though he does not like the thought, he still wants Hirose to be happy. But is he really? The answer to his question is something the black-haired boy will receive sooner than expected—later that very same day.
[- Hirose seems so distant toward Hana again today, or am I imagining it? His body language is practically screaming “Leave me alone” -]
Nakamura, who had actually planned not to bother his crush anymore with his gaze or his presence, cannot shake the feeling that Hirose seems different today. Hana has come into the classroom again during the break and is standing happily beside Hirose’s desk. The boys have put on some random video about video games on their phones, and Hana has leaned slightly against her boyfriend to watch. From time to time she also makes quiet comments, and Nakamura can observe how she tries to gain more of Hirose’s attention by smiling more or attempting to draw him into conversation. But instead of approval, she meets rejection. For a brief moment he catches a glimpse of Hirose, his face slightly twisted as he gives Hana a short, irritated sideways glance. Is that normal in a relationship? Nakamura has no answer to that. In his BL manga, the protagonists always shine with happiness and love the moment they even lightly touch. Does the mangaka have a distorted understanding of love? The longer he watches them, the stronger Nakamura’s feeling becomes that something is going to happen today.
“Don’t forget, today is cleaning day! No one is getting out of it, or there will be extra assignments! Understood? Wonderful! Then let’s go!” Otogiri’s announcement makes all the students groan loudly before they set off to their assigned tasks. Nakamura’s task today is to collect the black trash bags and bring them to the large collection point behind the school.
It is an easy task for him, one he is happy to do. That way he has no other students around him and does not have to worry about standing in anyone’s way or causing trouble by doing something wrong. Since a lot of trash has accumulated, Nakamura always takes two garbage bags in each hand and walks quietly down the staircase toward the collection point. On his way there, he encounters several students from other classes who are also assigned to cleaning duty. Occasionally, he catches fragments of whispered conversations behind covered mouths. Normally, Nakamura would not care, but today he hears scattered words like “Hirose and Hana...” or “behind the school...”, which makes him perk up and briefly stop on the stairs. His gaze automatically shifts to the students who said it. They are standing right by the window front facing the back courtyard, and if Nakamura judges correctly, they are trying to observe something discreetly. Since he has no view of the courtyard from his position, he turns back to the stairs. Even though he is not interested in school gossip, he cannot deny that he is now curious. Without meaning to, his steps quicken, and one step becomes two at a time.
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Hana: “Meet me today at 11:00 at the collection point behind the school”
Hirose reads Hana’s message once more before heading to the agreed meeting place. Fortunately for him, Otogiri-sensei did not notice his disappearance, otherwise he would definitely be in trouble. After all, everyone is supposed to help today, and his task is to sweep the floors together with his friends. Luckily, they understand his situation and promised with grins not to tell on him. If someone does come looking, they will say he is in the bathroom!
“I’m here! What is it?” Hirose already spots Hana waiting in the distance and hurries over to her. On his way, he looks around somewhat skeptically. Why she wants to meet him here of all places is a mystery to him. Wouldn’t it have been easier to wait after school and tell him privately?
“Thanks for coming! I’ll keep it short—I’m breaking up with you!” Hana looks Hirose straight in the eyes. Her expression and posture are rigid and defensive. Her arms are lightly crossed in front of her chest as she waits for his reaction.
At first, Hirose is completely stunned, until her words fully sink in and make sense.
“Huh?” he stares at her in shock at this sudden turn. “I’ve realized you’re just too boring for me!” Without looking at him any longer, Hana turns away. “I had different expectations for our relationship, but ever since we started dating, you’ve been so distant and uninterested—like I’m just bothering you!” she sighs and glances back at him one more time. “Or am I wrong?”
Now it was Hirose’s turn to respond, but before he can, he is distracted by someone approaching whom he never expected to see here. As if it were the most normal thing in the world, right now, in this situation, to take out the trash. Nakamura is not exactly subtle about it. At first he lingers in place as if he wants to eavesdrop on their conversation, only to place the trash bags down in a few quick steps as quietly as possible and then hurry away again.
Without being able to stop it, a grin spreads across Hirose’s face, and for a moment he even forgets that Hana is still waiting for an answer.
“You’re absolutely right!” he says, placing a friendly hand on her left shoulder before turning away without another word and running after Nakamura.
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Nakamura had not intended to overhear Hirose and Hana’s conversation. His actual goal was just to dispose of the trash bags, nothing more! But when he caught the scattered words “too boring” and “I had expected something else,” his curiosity once again won, and his legs simply stopped cooperating. He was no better than the other students standing at the window fronts and secretly watching them. Only now he was right in the middle of it instead of just watching from afar.
When both Hana and Hirose notice him, he turns bright red, stammers something unintelligible, and quickly disposes of the trash bags in just a few steps. Without looking back, Nakamura sprints out of the courtyard, only to stop a few meters later, panting.
“Am I completely insane, eavesdropping like a nosy neighbor and then running away?” his murmured words are carried off by the wind, and for a moment he considers simply skipping class and going home. He would just tell Otogiri-sensei the next day that he was sick. “Which wouldn’t even be a lie... my stomach feels pretty queasy...” he sighs and quickly abandons the idea. Lying won’t change anything.
“Eventually I’ll have to face him...” Nakamura stares down at his shoes when suddenly he is bumped on the right shoulder and staggers slightly forward. Reflexively, he catches himself, only to look into the face of the culprit beside him.
“Hi... Hirose!” he freezes, looking up at the brown-haired boy, his heart starting to beat faster.
“She broke up with me!” are his quiet words, and Nakamura is surprised by how light he suddenly feels. As if a burden that had been with him for a long time has fallen away.
“Oh...” unsure what to say in this situation, he bites lightly on his lower lip.
“I was too boring for her!” Hirose turns toward Nakamura, looking at him as if his opinion matters especially now.
“I think...” Nakamura begins, fixing his gaze on the boy in front of him, his expression serious, “...she just doesn’t appreciate your appeal.”
For a moment there is complete silence—only when Nakamura realizes what he just said out loud does he come back to himself.
“I... I mean... well... you’re probably just sad, or something...” embarrassed, he lifts his right hand to the back of his neck, playing with his black hair to distract himself.
[- What will he think of me now? -]
But Nakamura’s worries are unfounded, because Hirose looks at him in surprise for a moment.
“Ah, it’s fine...” he shrugs slightly, his gaze drifting back down to the ground.
“I never really knew how to deal with her anyway. I also could never say what I was thinking,” his quiet words give their conversation a certain intimacy.
“If you look at it that way...” his gaze rises directly to Nakamura’s face, his cheeks suspiciously red, “...I’d rather hang out with friends I can talk about everything with,” a soft smile plays on his lips. “But keep that to yourself.”
Before Nakamura can reply, Hirose suddenly runs ahead toward the school entrance, stopping there with his back turned.
“It’s gotten pretty cold!” his forced laughter makes the black-haired boy act instinctively.
“Hirose!”
Surprised, the boy turns around, now standing face to face with Nakamura.
“Do you want to...” Nakamura’s face and neck are flushed as he takes a deep breath to ask his question, “...go home together today?”