Chapter Text
Morty’s lips fell downwards into the usual butt shape in confusion, scratching the back of his head. He was reading the rules of visiting the prison, in the pamphlet on his bed. He didn’t have a drivers license. Or any official id. If he wanted to travel he usually just used Ricks portal gun so he didn’t need a passport. He didn’t know if his school id would work either. He didn’t even have it since he rarely went.
He received Evil Morty’s letter a week ago but he was so busy with Rick he totally forgot to open it. It sat on his nightstand until today. He did debate for a few minutes if he should go. He felt it was a trap. That Evil Morty would just kill him once he saw him. But he didn’t think prisons would allow Evil Morty anywhere near him.
The thing was he was debating on whether or not to tell Rick about his whole ordeal.
He got up, leaving the application in his room and walking into his sister’s room instead. Maybe she could help with his issue. “H-Hey summer? Can I ask you for something?” His sister looked up from her bed where she was lying down, phone in hand. The same stoic face plastered on her smooth skin. “It better be important that you didn’t knock first before entering.”
“Do you know anyone that can make me a fake ID?”
“Morty I can’t even buy my own molly. If I had someone who could make fake ids I wouldn’t have asked you to buy it for me when you were in your 40s.” She said like it made perfect sense because it did. He also remembered that was the day Rick finally came back. The day the citadel was destroyed once and for all. The day he met Evil Morty again for the second time. “Oh.”
“Why do you need a fake id anyway? Are you getting into drugs now too?” She said flatly but questioning, putting her phone down slightly. She didn’t really care but she didn’t take her brother for someone to do drugs. No matter how hard times got. Lame.
“What? No. I want to see my friend in prison.” He said annoyed. He didn’t really care for telling Summer. He also knew his sister didn’t care for the shit he did unlike him, who cared every time she was in trouble.
“You have a friend in prison?” She quirked her brow. “Girl or a guy?”
“Does it matter? Look, If you don’t have someone who can make me a fake id then-then your no help to me.” He said ready to leave. He walked to the door before hearing her voice again. “Why don’t you ask grandpa Rick?”
She wasn’t lying. Rick could make him a fake id with a snap of his fingers. Hell, he probably had one ready for him incase of an emergency. But he really didn’t know if he was comfortable telling Rick. Rick hid that he was having adventures with Evil Morty, why not hide he was sending letters with him? “Because I can figure this out w-without Rick.” He said firmly before closing the door behind him.
…
“Who touched his balls.” She muttered under her breath going back on her phone.
Morty walked back to his room closing the door behind him. He kicked the floor annoyed with himself. How the fuck does someone get a fake id? He opened his laptop closing his porn website he left open just in case a fluke came along before typing.
How to purchase a fake idea?
How to purchase a fake ID?
www.makeafakeID.com/www.hpv.
Oh. It was that easy.
Click
Upload a photo here.
Name:
DOB:
Eye Color:
Height:
Weight:
Sex:
Address:
Expiration Date:
ISS:
Morty sighed filling all of it out. He uploaded a random photo of himself and clicked submit.
”This better be worth it, Evil Morty…”
ID complete.
Delivery Time: one week.
“Great.” He closed his laptop before staring into space. He was really doing this. He was going to see his evil alter ego. Should he really be doing this? He could always cancel the fake ID and ignore the application. He was acting like Rick. Seeing him. So maybe it wasn’t bad, right..? He looked back at the application laying next to him.
I am. Friend [ ] [ ] Relative, specifically ___
…
Friend [✔️] [ ] Relative, specifically ___
One week later.
The doorbell rung and Morty bolted downstairs. He opened the door and ignored the box on the doorstep and grabbed the envelope off the floor. He went back inside and to his room opening the envelope, revealing his fake ID. He put the application with the fake ID in a different envelope before walking back downstairs. He went to the garage checking to see if Rick was there before walking to the portal gun. He grabbed the gun off the workbench before typing in the interdimensiol mail dimension code. He shot the portal before walking in looking around at the familiar dimension. It was in outer space but he didn’t need a helmet for this area. Different postal shuttles flew above him everywhere. There were tubes everywhere taking mail through shoots and to the shuttles. He walked up to the drop off before hesitating. He looked down at the envelope, making a quirky frown to the left with his lips.
…
I do want to understand him…
…
He closed his eyes with a slow, disappointed head drop before dropping the envelope in the shoot. It launched through the tube and to the shuttle, flying away to his evil alter ego in prison. He portaled himself back home and left the portal gun on Rick’s workbench. “I’m really doing this…”
Another week later.
The doorbell rang again but this time when he opened the door, the Fourth Dimensional Testicle was at his door. “I didn’t want to have to come back to this shitty shit of a house. This your fake ID?” The testicle held up the fake ID with an…annoyed face? They didn’t really have a face.
“O-Oh—! U-Uh! W-well y-you see—!”
“Look I have all the time in the fucking world for this but I don’t want to so I’ll make you a deal. You gave me a tip so I’ll make an exception just this once.” Shleemypants handed him a small piece of paper the size of a fortune cookie. Morty took it reading it over. It had a time and date. “O-Oh gee. T-Thanks Shleemypants.” He took his fake ID back as well.
“Don’t mention it and don’t lose it. See you then.” The testicle disappeared and Morty went back inside. He looked down at the paper again. The wait time was this long? It was four weeks from now. Maybe time went faster in there? Or slower? Or did a lot of people visit their loved ones in prison? That was the obvious answer, right?
“Who was at the door, Morty?” His mom’s voice came behind him making Morty jump slightly. “O-Oh nothing—nobody!”
…
“Okay then…” She walked away without another word. Morty sighed in relief before looking back at the date. Okay. He was really doing this. He went to the garage to see if Rick needed anything or wanted to go somewhere. He wanted to get his mind off the whole thing.
Until four weeks.
…
Morty waited till Rick took his usual drunken nap and took the ship keys out his pocket. Rick snorted drunkenly in his sleep but ultimately went back to being at peace. Morty walked to the garage and got in the car. He started up the ship before typing in the address to the time prison. He clicked the button that shot a portal before flying in.
“You know what happens every time you take Ricks ship right.” The cars voice came to light as he drove.
“Nothing bads going to happen.” He said through gritted teeth, gripping the steering wheel. He was annoyed that nobody thought he was capable of doing anything himself. And he didn’t need a car telling him that either.
“You say that and then something bad does happen.”
“Well nothing bads going to happen I’m just going to a prison. In and out. What’s so dangerous about that?” He parked the car outside the prison putting on his space helmet with forced movements. The prison was huge but he didn’t have time to admire it right now. Now he was even more determined to see him.
“Enabling safety protocol. Keep all grandkids—Morty—safe.”
“What, No?! We’re not doing this shit again! Disable all safety protocol!” He zipped up his space suit shoving the visitation paper in his pocket.
“Disabling all safety protocol. Enabling protection protocols instead.”
He groaned in frustration, grabbing his helmet before slamming his hand on the wheel. “Disable all protocols!”
“Disabling ALL protocols.”
He got out the car slamming it behind him. He stepped onto the floor outside the prison before walking to the front. There were two testicles guarding the front doors with their testicle guns. “State your case or get the fuck outta here. This isn’t a safe place for kids.”
“I-I have an appointment.” Morty dug in his pocket pulling out the small piece of paper. He held it up and one of them took it examining it. “Alright, kid. Follow me to get checked.”
The testicle lead him inside. The place was huge on the inside. Prisoners everywhere in cells. “Wow…” He looked to see if he could find Evil Morty. But he knew he’d miss him due to how many cells there were. “Isn’t it kind of unsafe t-to have visitors walk past the cells?”
“Not really. What are they gonna do? Grab you through the bars—?”
Morty yelled as he was suddenly grabbed by his arm and pulled into the bars. The alien tried biting his shoulder but the testicle shot him in the stomach. The alien fell to the ground in his cell as the testicle grabbed Morty gently by his lower back guiding him away. “Don’t get too close they’ll grab you through the bars.”
They entered a room at the way end and he saw different aliens talking to the testicles. He guessed there were a lot of appointments. Then again, being imprisoned for thousands of years for messing with time was a little harsh in his mind but to each to their own he guessed.
“Walk through the machine in and back.” The testicle pointed to some sort of metal detector in the middle of the room. Morty walked through it and it instantly went off. “Wait! S-Sorry! I-I forgot I left my phone in my pocket..” He handed it to one of the other testicles in the room before walking through it again.
DING!
“Arms out and spread your legs. This is required but I have to ask. May I touch you without a huge angry tweet ten years later?”
“O-Oh yea.” Morty held his arms out and spread his legs. The testicles suddenly took his shoes off looking through them making him tilt slightly off balance. The testicles slipped his shoes back on before feeling up his legs. They squeezed up to his thighs, then to his stomach, chest, neck, tugged on his hair. “Hey—ow! Why my hair?”
“You’d be surprised what people can fit in wigs. Got anything hidden up your butt?”
“No.”
“You serious? You’ll end up in there with the rest of them if we found out you’re lying.” Another one said looking him up and down.
“I don’t have anything up my ass okay?!” He snapped making the testicles look at each other before nodding. “Alright kid in here.” They took him through another door that led them to another door. And then another. And then another. God how many fucking doors?!
He was led down a hallway until the testicle walked through a door and led him inside. It was a small room with white exteriors. There were two chairs on either side of a big glass barrier and a table frame that the glass swooped around. He could tell it was extremely thick so nothing can by pass it. But there was a small opening on the table. He guessed to hold hands or pass something over which honestly shouldn’t even be allowed. He took a seat looking back as the testicle leaned against the wall. “Your incarcerated friend will be brought shortly.”
He looked back at the empty chair, leaned back against his and crossed his arms. He wanted to look unbothered because he knew that’s how Evil Morty was going to look when he walked in.
Two could play that game.