Chapter Text
Ren lies awake in bed the next morning, flat on his back, staring blankly up at the weird paint texture of his ceiling. He’d normally be up by now – the sun shining through his blinds telling him that he should already be downstairs in his apartment complex’s gym – but he can’t seem to get up. Last night feels like a dream, and he’s afraid of waking up.
Akechi Goro is alive. He’s alive and he’s in my livingroom. He’s alive and he wanted to come back.
The words play like a mantra in his head. Ren got pretty adept at reading Akechi over the year that they knew eachother, or at least he likes to think so. Most days. He’s confident that Akechi would have stayed hidden for the rest of their lives if he wanted, but he chose to stand in front of LeBlanc last night. He chose to follow Ren home; to tell him where he’s been.
Realizing he’d actually rather not waste another minute without Akechi, Ren finally climbs out of bed – slowly, as not to wake Mona – quickly changes into his gym clothes, and grabs his phone off the charger, putting it in his pocket.
He creeps into the hallway, wondering if Akechi will join him, or if they’ll simply share another cup of coffee before parting for the day. Ren can do his morning routine just a bit out of order today, he decides.
All thoughts stop when he finds his livingroom just as it is on a normal morning. No futon beside the couch, no water glass on the kotatsu, no Akechi.
Ren checks around his apartment frantically. The futon is in its cupboard, the glass has been washed and put away, the clothes he lent Akechi are in the hamper in the bathroom, the toothbrush is missing. It’s almost as if he was never there at all.
I guess that was it.
Ren stares at his shaking hands, anger and sorrow flooding through him at an intensity he hasn’t felt since he stood across from this same person in LeBlanc, allowing him to condemn them both. He can’t breathe. He just got Akechi back and now he-
He needs an outlet.
Exercise has always served him well. Be it gymnastics, or dance, or pullups in LeBlanc’s attic. He takes a deep, shaking breath, puts on his gym shoes, grabs his keys and wallet, and heads downstairs.
The gym is a good size, still fairly empty despite Ren being later than usual, and he treats it like just another day. If Akechi decided he didn’t want anything to do with him – if Ren was too much – he is just going to have to accept that. He won’t be reduced to a new set of shackles, keeping Akechi bound to Ren’s selfish whims. He’s happy enough knowing Akechi is alive and well.
The chime of his timer startles him so bad he nearly falls off the treadmill. He presses the STOP button, letting it ease him out of the jog he’d been maintaining mindlessly, and takes deep breaths with his hands on his head until his rhythm returns to normal. He only got through half of his usual workout, but if he takes the extra time to finish it, breakfast will be very late, and Mona will know something is wrong.
He sighs, grabbing his phone from the little stand on the treadmill’s display, and makes his way back to his apartment.
It’s just as quiet as he left it.
He haphazardly kicks off his shoes, tosses his keys and wallet back into their spot atop the shoe cubbies, and makes his way to the kitchen.
He goes through the motions of making coffee, setting the water to boil before pulling out beans and all of his materials. He stops when he turns to the siphon, seeing one of his stickynotes stuck to the counter in front of it.
Curious, he reads the neat handwriting. He doesn’t quite comprehend the words, so he reads them again.
And again.
And again.
His legs give up and he catches himself on the countertop, bright pink clutched between shaking fingers.
You bastard. Fuck you.
…
Fuck. I really am still in love with you.
The note is simple. Wednesday. Jazz Jin. 8pm.
He could cry. He feels like screaming. He does neither of those, but he thinks the breathy laugh that escapes him feels just as liberating.
It’s just like Akechi to assume he’d have no plans that evening. Ren doesn’t, and he may just be pathetic enough, after all this time, to drop plans if he did have them, but he still would have appreciated a phone number in case he had to reschedual. He feels lucky he chose only morning and afternoon classes for Wednesdays this semester.
The kettle begins to whistle on the stove, so he takes another breath, hiding the note in his pocket, before moving to turn off the flame and continue his morning routine. Mona trots out of the bedroom when he smells breakfast, same as he does every morning, and the two sit at the kotatsu to eat. Mona comments on his lightened mood, but he brushes it off as a good time with Futaba yesterday, unwilling to share this thing that’s just beginning to bloom.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
The following Wednesday finds him in Kichijoji. It’s been a few weeks since he’s seen Muhen, and while he’s happy for the opportunity, he’s more excited to see Akechi standing just outside.
He really is beautiful.
Akechi’s changed since the worst month of Ren’s life. His hair’s gotten much longer; wavy and full, when before he kinda always looked like he’d been caught in the rain. It reminds him of a woman he impossibly met, the day he set free the only person who truly understood him. Akechi has freckles, too. Ren never really felt one way or another about Akechi wearing makeup that year, but he was hardly able to turn away last week, from the little constellations painting Akechi’s cheeks.
Beautiful.
He’s been staring too long. Akechi looks up, his instincts likely as sharp as ever, and Ren walks over before he can be caught loitering.
Finally looking down, Ren realizes Akechi’s wearing a black button down, sleeves rolled up to reveal his well-sculpted forearms. The shirt is tucked into nice, slim fitting pants that overlay black boots, a bit of heel adding to his height. He looks good. The outfit is a complete contrast to Ren’s own jacket over jeans and a graphic tee, and he wonders if he should’ve dressed up more.
“You’re really here.” Ren breathes when they’re close.
Akechi rolls his eyes, but he’s not frowning. His voice sounds playful.
“It would be pretty idiotic to bail on my own invitation, Amamiya.”
“That’s not-” what I meant.
He feels irritation flash through him for an entirely different reason. “Don’t you dare call me that.”
Akechi blinks, clearly caught off guard. “What am I supposed to call you?”
“You called me by my name the other night.”
Because he had. Ren doesn’t know if he’d been too tired to process his “mistake,” but in the early hours of the morning, he’d come out of the bathroom to Ren laying the futon out for him. They’d stared at eachother for a moment, before Ren wished him goodnight, and started for his bedroom door.
“Goodnight, Ren. Thank you.” came the whispered response.
Ren’s heart soared.
The Akechi of the present blushes. It spreads across his face, where before it only caught the tips of his ears. Ren never wants him to wear makeup again.
“I didn’t-” he sighs. “Alright… Ren.”
Ren smiles. He’d really missed the sound of his name on Akechi’s lips.
Akechi turns, staring at the entrance to Jazz Jin.
“I haven’t been back here, yet. I’m glad it seems to still be doing well.”
Ren stares at his profile, surely caught for it when Akechi eyes him.
“Do you still play? I haven’t forgotten your little performance.”
Ren looks away, twisting his bangs between his fingers in an attempt to hide how much the teasing glint excites him. Windows to the soul, and all that.
“Muhen asks sometimes, but…” he shrugs.
“Oh, but you’ve been coming here? With your Thieves, perhaps?” There’s an edge to his tone.
Ren shakes his head, stuffing his hand back into the pocket of his jacket, and glances back up to Akechi’s face.
“Wouldn’t have felt right, y’know?”
A smirk spreads across Akechi’s face slowly, like he’s trying to hold it back. It reminds Ren of when they fought, side by side, just the two of them.
Oh my god, was he jealous?
Ren lets his lips quirk up, the awkwardness spontaneously combusting into something that makes him feel more alive than he’s been in years. He takes a step closer, then another, til he’s just inside of Akechi’s personal bubble.
“Y’know what? Maybe it is time for an encore. I can hardly keep disappointing Muhen; he may stop favoring me.”
Akechi looks taken aback, but composes himself quickly, meeting Ren head on. The feeling in his chest coalesces into something warm and familiar, easy.
“I don’t know. If you haven’t been practicing, you may end up disappointing him anyway.”
Ren grins.
“Who said I haven’t been practicing?”
Akechi’s arm sweeps toward the stairs. “By all means, then.”
Ren’s reminded of when he still called on Robin Hood, all drama and pride. He’s glad Akechi embraced that part of himself, rather than discard it.
Ren strides forward. Truth be told, he hasn’t touched a piano since that night. Even looking at one seemed to hurt more than a single night of bold decisions should allow. Perhaps it was because it had been the first night since his arrest, leaving other memories to grow distant in its wake. Regardless, the muscle memory should still be there. He shouldn’t do anything too complex, but something too simple would be unacceptable.
“Might I make a suggestion, mon voleur?”
Ren listens to Arsène as he and Akechi make their way down the steps. The establishment isn’t much different from that first year; a new table from when a customer got way too drunk and fell over with the old one, upgraded equipment for the musicians, more ingredients for new cocktails. The hosts’ stand is the same, as well as the man behind it.
“Is that who I think it is?” Muhen grins brightly when they walk through the door.
“It’s good to see you, Muhen-san.” Akechi responds politely.
It’s a bit funny to see, after all this time, and the way he was last week.
“You’re looking well. I’m glad.” Ren knows Muhen means it. “Where have you been? Are you back in town for good?”
Akechi nods. “I recently got a new apartment. I’m pleased to find this place hasn’t changed much.”
“Not much to change, really. I like the group of customers we get. I’ve been telling Amamiya-kun to bring you by again, and here you are!”
“Speaking of,” Ren cuts in, hopefully before Akechi can read too much into that. “Is the bench still open for me?”
“Of course it is! Akechi-kun returns, Amamiya-kun plays; if I was a gambling man, I’d stop by the pachinko parlor tonight.” Muhen laughs, stepping from behind the stand. “Your usual table’s open. Let me talk to the band. I’m sure they won’t mind you taking up some time.”
Muhen leads them to their table, delighted when they tell him they’ll take whatever drinks he recommends, and disappears behind a door labelled “Employees Only.” Ren watches him go, then turns to find Akechi already staring at him.
“What?”
Akechi smirks. “So, you two speak of me often? I’m flattered.”
Ren lets a smile settle on his face, leaning forward to cross his arms atop the table.
“You’re worth talking about.”
Akechi’s face goes slack and he turns away, but not before Ren spies that gorgeous blush tint his feature.
“You haven’t lost that brainless sentimentality.” he grumbles.
Ren laughs, low and breathy. “Never.”
Muhen returns with their drinks and lets Ren know Setsuko-san will wave him up halfway through their set. Ren thanks him and he leaves them to enjoy the show. Unfortunately, it’s not Akechi’s favorite, but still one that Ren enjoys. She’s a young woman, about their age, with short black hair and dark eyes, who started singing here in the last year. She’s always accompanied by her elder brother, who’s name she never told and Ren never asked, on the piano. She looks surprised when her eyes flit across their table.
“They’re quite good.” Akechi says quietly, after the second song.
Ren nods, taking a sip of his drink. It’s carbonated, with a distinctly grenadine flavor, among something more sour. Well… never let it be said that Muhen doesn’t know what his customers like.
“How’s yours?” Ren asks, nodding to Akechi’s own blue-green concoction.
“It’s very good.” Akechi smiles. “Sweet, but a little sour.”
Ren chuckles. “That means it’s very sweet.”
Akechi blinks, opening his mouth to speak, but before he can get a sound out, Setsuko-san starts her next song. Ren’s surprised he wasn’t called up instead; they don’t usually do so many in a night.
After the fourth is when she finally waves to Ren, before she and her brother slip into the back room for their break.
“Break a leg.” Akechi teases as Ren rises from his seat.
Ren turns to him, batting his eyelashes.
“If I do, promise to carry me up the stairs?”
Akechi rolls his eyes. “If playing piano actually breaks your leg, I’d say you deserve to figure them out on your own.”
Ren laughs quietly, turning to make his way up onto the stage. The other patrons murmur as he does, the same way they had that first night. He hears someone gasp and wonders if they were here then, too.
Lucky coincidence, I guess.
He has to scoot the bench back a bit, Setsuko-san’s brother being much shorter than he is. Ren places his fingers over the keys and they settle like they’re meant to be there, just as he knew they would. He smiles.
The song Arsène suggested is slow, starting with deeper, repeating notes, but Ren makes up for the lack of a vocalist and violin by accompanying them with higher ones. It picks up quickly, but then slows again just before the actual lyrics. Ren doubts Akechi will know the song itself, but he thinks he’d like to sing it to him one day, without the audience.
It is, of course, originally in French, but the translation comes to mind as easily as breathing, as he sings the words in his head.
I will leave you words
Underneath your door
Under the walls that sing
Near where your feet pass by
Hidden in the holes in your couch
And when you’re alone for a moment
Pick me up
Whenever you want
Kiss me
Whenever you want
Pick me up
Whenever you want
It’s exactly the kind of song Akechi would call him brainlessly sentimental for, and he’d be right, because Ren immediately thought of him when he first heard it. Arsène had cooed at him sympathetically, back then, but now they sing it together, more promise than hope.
The crowd claps as the final note fades out. Ren stands, giving his audience a graceful bow, but his eyes are only on Akechi’s smile as he returns to his seat.
“Well?” Ren asks, despite knowing the answer. “Did that live up to your lofty expectations?”
Akechi hums, pretending to think for a moment. “I suppose. Are you so sure you didn’t miss a key or two, though?”
Ren laughs quietly. “You know I didn’t.”
They continue to chat quietly in between Setsuko-san’s songs. Akechi tells him more of what he’s been up to since his return to Tokyo, and ren updates him on the Thieves’ lives and Ren’s own college courses.
At the end of the last song, Setsuko-san steps off the stage, heading directly for Ren and Akechi’s table.
“Amamiya-san.” she says, smiling. “You brought a friend tonight.”
Ren nods as Akechi speaks.
“It’s nice to meet you. You have a lovely voice.”
“Oh!” Setsuko-san blushes. “Thank you. I was just coming over to compliment Amamiya-san. I had no idea he played, much less professionally.”
Ren shakes his head. “I don’t. Just on special occasions.”
Setsuko-san laughs. “That seems impossible, but I’ll take your word for it. Ah!” she turns to the backroom door when it creaks open. “Seems my brother is ready to go. I’ll see you next time, Amamiya-san?”
Ren nods and she smiles wider before meeting up with her brother at the exit.
“Still as popular as ever, aren’t you?”
Ren turns to see the irritation flicker off Akechi’s face into something more mild.
Some things never change.
Ren smirks. “Coming from you, that’s quite the compliment.”
Akechi rolls his eyes. “She’s pretty, has a nice voice, don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it. She clearly thinks about you.”
“Not really.” Ren shrugs. “I was never interested.”
“Oh? That does make me wonder. What is the debonair thief’s type?”
I think my “type” got warped a long time ago.
Ren had tried since starting college, he really had. Dating, one night stands. Perhaps Setsuko-san would have been on that short list of attempted partners the last two years, if they’d met when he came back to Tokyo.
The problem wasn’t the people themselves, Ren had just learned pretty quickly that they were all missing something. If they could keep up with him intellectually, they couldn’t physically. Physical prowess meant wanting to work together to cover the other’s faults, rather than challenge eachother to be better. One night stands lacked the emotional connection he craved.
In short, he couldn’t keep himself from wishing they’d fill all the cracks Akechi left behind.
He tells Akechi none of that. The depths of Ren’s feelings are likely to scare him off, and he doesn’t want to go through that again. Instead, he leans his chin on his palm, letting a challenging grin cross his face.
“I wonder.” he echoes.
Akechi scoffs. “I’m honestly surprised it’s none of your Thieves. Takamaki seemed the most likely contender.”
A surprised laugh escapes Ren, louder than he means. He muffles himself behind his jacket sleeve until he gets them under control.
“Ann married Shiho in America soon after we graduated. She and I never had an interest in eachother.”
Akechi’s eyes widen. “I see. What about-”
“I’m pretty sure Haru would chop off the hand of any man who tries to touch her again.” Ren interrupts, ticking each of his friends off on his fingers. “Ann and I spent our entire third year trying to get Ryuji to realize his feelings for Yusuke, Futaba’s my sibling, I feel like Mona is self-explanatory. Sumire did confess to me in highschool, but I turned her down.”
Akechi’s mouth closes while Ren speaks, brows furrowing and lips thinning the longer he goes on. Ren pauses for just a moment, both hoping and dreading the idea that he would ask why, continuing when he doesn’t.
“I have never wanted to date any of them.”
“I notice you didn’t mention the younger Niijima.” Akechi says finally. “In fact, I don’t believe you have all night.”
Ren looks away, realizing how foolish he’d been to hope Akechi wouldn’t catch on.
“I don’t… really talk to Makoto anymore.” he says quietly, playing with the straw in his glass.
“Oh?”
“Sorry to bother you, boys.”
Ren’s head shoots up to see Muhen standing there, looking between them in concern while Ren struggles to respond.
“No trouble at all.” Akechi says for him.
Muhen nods, seeming to decide it isn’t his business. “The last trains are going to run soon. I didn’t want you to be stuck calling a cab.”
Ren blinks, confirming the time with his phone.
“Thank you, Muhen-san.” he stands, finishing his drink and pulling out his wallet.
Muhen lifts his hands, smiling. “Tonight’s on me. Thank you for playing again, and it’s good to have Akechi-kun back with us.”
The three exchange goodbyes, with Ren and Akechi promising to return soon, and Ren follows Akechi back up the stairs. The streets are practically empty this time of night, keeping with the private atmosphere of Jazz Jin.
“So, Niijima?”
Ren sighs.
“Do you still talk to Sae?” he asks to preface.
“Not much, since closing Shido’s case.” Akechi’s eyes are boring into his skull.
“Did you know Makoto became a cop?”
Akechi stops. Ren stops too, but he doesn’t turn to face him.
“She what?”
Ren nods.
“Even after everything they- what I-”
He chokes. Ren shrugs.
“She wanted to follow in her dad’s footsteps. It… ended up being pretty in character for her, I guess.” he winces at himself. “She used to use her aikido training on the guys a lot. Mostly Ryuji.”
“Sakamoto.” Akechi’s voice is flat. “The one who received corporal punishment from that perverted PE teacher.”
And his dad before that. Ren nods.
“That bitch.”
Ren’s head shoots up, surprised by the venom in Akechi’s voice. His eyes are blazing, fists clenched at his sides.
“And she called herself you friend?” he growls. “How dare she! I-”
He stops as his eyes widen, taking a few measured breaths. Ren really wishes his habit of not finishing he sentences had been one of the things that changed.
“I apologize.” he says more calmly. “You said you don’t talk to her much anymore. What of the rest of your merry band?”
Ren stares at him for a moment, surprised he asked. He plays with his fringe, still mostly used to Akechi’s weird titles for his friend group.
“For the most part, they drifted because of her busy schedual. She only really sees Haru, cuz they’re together. Ryuji… kinda figured out that he was afraid of her, and talked to Ann and I about it, and then Yusuke way later. Ann got pretty mad. Mona and Futaba figured out my own thing.”
He cringes at the memory, the way his brain shut down the first time he saw Makoto in uniform. He’s lucky Futaba was there, as they’d recognized the panic-induced dissociative episode immediately, and dragged him by the arm into one of Shinjuku’s many empty back alleys. He’d come back to himself who-knows-how-long later, sitting beside them with Morgana in his lap, purring away while Futaba recited a chronological list of each episode Grey Pigeon appears in.
They’d gone back to LeBlanc after that, Futaba shoving him and Mona up the stairs, then returning sometime later with a small plate of curry, a cup of coffee, and their own weighted blanket from home. The milk crate propped futon was still uncomfortable, but his family’s care for him was warm and soft, so he didn’t mind it as much as usual.
Akechi nods slowly beside him. Ren shrinks into himself a bit, hoping none of that showed on his face. He remembers where he was in the conversation, speaking before Akechi has a chance to ask.
“We pretty much just see her for big gatherings. I don’t think she’s noticed we keep her and Ryuji separated, or else she would have brought it up.”
Akechi sighs, sounding exasperated.
“You are still far too kind for your own good.”
Ren shrugs. He follows when Akechi silently restarts their walk to the train station. As they’re coming up to it, Ren recalls his own gripe from last week.
“Could I have your number again?” he asks quietly, tacking on “In case I can’t make the next note you leave me.”
Akechi laughs. Ren hates being seen through, and yet he missed how easily Akechi could.
“I suppose I would be rather angry if you stood me up.”
They pull out their phones and exchange them. Ren puts a pancakes emoji beside his name and laughs when Akechi turns red and deletes it. He still adds a heart beside Akechi’s name when his is handed back, glad he’d made Futaba remove all but their location bug from the device years ago.
“You’re never going to let that go, are you?” Akechi huffs as the train pulls up to the platform.
Ren hums. “I could be convinced.”
He steps onto the train and sits in one of the several empty seats, before realizing Akechi hadn’t followed. He turns in place to see him still on the platform, and pulls his phone from his pocket as the train pulls away.
You didnt have to walk me to the station yknow
And let you bypass that comment about
Niijima? I think not.
Ren smiles.
You sure you didnt have any ulterior motives? ;)
And what might those have been?
It was very gentlemanly of you. A poor country
damsel like myself could get lost in the big city
If you’re a damsel, then Sakura-san stopped
her illegal activities.
Ren snorts. A quick look around the train car reveals no one that cares about the disturbance.
Futaba definitely did not
His fingers hover for a moment, deliberating.
Futaba goes by they now btw
Oh? My apologies. I’ll keep that in mind.
Really?
Why would I lie?
I guess you wouldnt. Idk. Its just not common.
Loki also uses they/them pronouns. It’s not
so weird for me.
You can still talk to Loki?
Of course. Can’t you still speak to your
Personas?
Well yeah. Its just that the others only hear
the last ones they awakened to
Interesting. You can still hear Arsène and
Satanael alongside Raoul though, no? It
must be because of our unique abilities.
Yeah. So Robin Hood is there too?
Yes.
Tell them all I say hi :)
They can read, you know.
Hi guys :)
Ren grins as the typing bubble appears and disappears several times, imagining the all-out war going on in his head right now.
They return your greeting.
Riiiiight. They were definitely that formal
about it.
They were rather cacophonous,
actually. I don’t know how you deal with
more than three.
Lol you get used to it
Are you home yet?
Nearly so. How long is your train ride?
About 20min total. Ill be getting off soon
That’s good.
Ren smiles, putting his phone back in his pocket as his station is called. He opens his messaging app again after the door to his apartment swings shut.
Im home. You?
Yes.
“Do you have any idea what time it is? You’ve got class in the morning!”
Ren startles at the voice, but his expression settles into something sheepish by the time Mona rounds the corner.
“Sorry, Mona.” Ren says, taking off his shoes and removing his things from his pockets. “Muhen had some new drinks he needed a tester for, and we lost track of time.”
It had been almost a week, but he still didn’t want to tell anyone about Akechi’s return. It was definitely selfish, but it also saved Futaba and Haru from having to deal with it. Yeah, they were supportive of his feelings while they thought Akechi was dead, but now…
Mona sighs dramatically, falling for the lie. “Didn’t he just try new ones last time?”
Ren laughs, walking to his bedroom for a change of clothes.
“That was weeks ago. He’s having a lot of fun with them.”
Mona continues to complain, before the two settle into an easy silence. Ren showers and gets ready for bed, Mona curling on top of his chest over the thin blanket he uses for summer.
“Don’t forget you’re meeting Yusuke tomorrow after class.”
Ren smiles, running his nails gently down Mona’s back, eliciting gentle purrs.
“I won’t, thanks.”
After Mona falls asleep, Ren picks his phone back up.
Im free again Saturday night. Penguin Sniper?
Saturday is fine. Same time?
Works :) Goodnight Akechi
Goodnight, Ren.
Ren plugs his phone in, unable to help his smile as he slowly drifts to sleep.