Chapter Text
A few minutes later.
Best Boston Bros No 🧢
Marly: just got in with roz and vicky
Marly: vicky and roz are at the bar
Marly: i need to find hammer
Marly: conny carmy where are you guys
CC: food just got here
Carmy: need to eat
Carmy: starving
Marly: jfc you shoulda eaten your meal preps after the game
CC: i thought you wanted us to leave after the game asap
CC: didnt even get through my usual full shower
Carmy: dont be disgusting conny
CC: and you stink
Marly: 😐
Marly: i dont give a shit
Marly: just finish your food and get here
Carmy: 🫡
CC: 🖕
Marly: did hammer fucking fall down the toilet or something
Marly: where the hell is he
Marly: i dont see miles allen anywhere either
St. Vicky: get your ass back here marly
Marly: i need to find hammer
Marly: or miles allen
Marly: jfc didnt think i would ever say this
Marly: but at this point knowing where just one of them is will make me a very happy man
St. Vicky: no time for that need you here asap
Marly: aww did you miss me already
St. Vicky: fuck u
St. Vicky: we have a situation
Marly: ?
St. Vicky: fucking hollander is here
St. Vicky: dancing with rose
St. Vicky: very poorly i might add
St. Vicky: im shielding roz from him
Marly: shit
Marly: shit shit shit
Marly: i thought he never comes out to post win celebrations
Marly: coming back now
Marly: theres just about a billion people who suddenly appeared between me and where you guys are
St. Vicky: who the hell knows why he suddenly decided to grace the people of montreal with his presence
St. Vicky: but today is like the worst time for roz to see his archrival winning the game and getting the girl
St. Vicky: while hes tragically single and still not over his ex
Marly: no shit
Marly: oh fuck
Marly: boiziaus not here is he?
St. Vicky: not from what i can see
St. Vicky: its just hollander and rose
Marly: thank god for small mercies
Marly: just dont let roz see hollander
St. Vicky: thats what i just told you
Marly: right
Marly: fuck
Marly: im not ready for this
Marly: i have no training for this
Marly: they didnt tell me i needed to do this when they gave me the A
St. Vicky: welcome to the fcking club marly
St. Vicky: crisse roz is trying to leave
Marly: stop him vicky obviously
Marly: vicky? vicky!
Marly: please tell me you didn’t lose roz
Marly: cc carmy where are you guys get here asap
Marly: yo the team need you guys to put in the minutes
Marly: vicky wtf is going on
St. Vicky: ok alright roz just wanted to go the washroom
St. Vicky: he downed three shots pretty quickly
St. Vicky: i couldnt stop him
Marly: ughhhhh
Marly: well are you going to follow?
St. Vicky: why would i go thats just creepy bro
Marly: SO YOU DONT LOSE HIM YOU DUMBASS
Marly: or he accidentally runs into hollander and rose landry
St. Vicky: o okay…
Marly: go follow him vicky
St. Vicky: on it
Marly: hammer where the fuck are you
Marly: respond now or youre doing suicides first thing next practice
St. Vicky: hes dancing with some girl now
Marly: who? hollander?
St. Vicky: no, roz is
Marly: whos this girl
St. Vicky: how should i know
Marly: didnt he want to go to the washroom
Marly: just make sure he doesnt see the enemy
St. Vicky: im on it
St. Vicky: im not stupid marly crisse
Marly: dont let roz and hollander see each other before we can get a read on this miles allen situation
Marly: wait i think im actually next to the restroom
Marly: going to pop in and see if hammers there
St. Vicky: is he?
Carmy: conny and i just got done and on our way back to ciel
CC: 👍
St. Vicky: get here quick we need you
Marly: nope unless hes in a different one
Marly: remember that time he ate something bad or maybe it was the stomach bug but he spent most of night in the restroom when we went out in vancouver
Marly: and we all took turns standing by the door to divert other people from going in and seeing the mess
St. Vicky: why u do this to me!
St. Vicky: i almost blocked it from my mind completely
Marly: your welcome
St. Vicky: ahhhh shit
Marly: please tell me roz didnt see hollander or rose landry
St. Vicky: well… no
St. Vicky: but this may be worse
St. Vicky: i think hollander saw him
St. Vicky: he and rose landry have stopped dancing and are talking now i think
St. Vicky: wait now hes leaving
Marly: maybe he wants to avoid a fight
Marly: we know hollzy plays textbook hockey on ice and canadian golden boy off ice
St. Vicky: you mean hes boring
Marly: not my words take it up with roz
St. Vicky: or maybe hes getting his enforcers
St. Vicky: did you see any other montreal players here tonight
Marly: no but i cant seem to find anyone tonight
Marly: so maybe theyre here
Marly: just like hammer is supposedly here
Marly: like cc and carmy are supposed to be here
CC: we are on our way
Carmy: on being the operative word
Carmy: or is way the operative word?
Carmy: anyhow we are in line
Carmy: again
St. Vicky: 🤦🏽
Marly: do you still have eyes on roz
St. Vicky: yes stop pestering me
St. Vicky: roz will see me constantly on my phone not dancing and will have questions
St. Vicky: no one will believe me rose landry is now dancing with a random guy
CC: rose landry can fcking dance anyone she wants
CC: shes a queen and hollander doesnt deserve to keep all of her to himself
Carmy: wow when did you become a rose landry stan
CC: i have eyes
CC: that i use all the time
Carmy: 🖕
Carmy: fck you man im standing right next to you
Carmy: and you were clearly blind when you put on whatever this is youre wearing
Marly: …
Marly: just get in here you two
Marly: vicky do you think roz saw hollander leave
St. Vicky: i dont know anything at this point
St. Vicky: oh shit i take that back
St. Vicky: roz just pushed the girl hes been dancing with away and is on the move
Marly: what do you mean on the move
Marly: wheres he going
Marly: vicky follow him
St. Vicky: ok looks like hes going to the washroom for real this time
St. Vicky: i dont think i should follow him in there
St. Vicky: thats weird and super sus
Marly: just make sure he and hollander dont run into each other
St. Vicky: 🫡
Carmy: we are in!!!!!!!
St. Vicky: fucking finally bro
St. Vicky: what took you so long
CC: carmy had to pimp himself out to a fan
CC: whos apparently good friends with one of DJs
CC: anyway she got us in
Carmy: fuck you man
Carmy: i was just being friendly like a normal person
CC: uh huh
Carmy: i dunno what tf you are talking about conny
Carmy: we just chatted a little outside
Carmy: i didnt get her number no nothing
Carmy: what yall want me to be mean to a fan
Carmy: in fucking montreal of all places
Carmy: theyll burn us alive
Marly: calm down carmy
Marly: as long as you didnt do anything youll regret later bro
Carmy: i didnt
Marly: i believe you
Marly: just get your ass over
CC: where are you guys
Marly: Im on the lower level looking for fucking hammer
Marly: who must have been abducted by aliens
St. Vicky: im by the bar on the upper level
St. Vicky: cap just went to the restroom
Carmy: no ones seen miles allen
Marly: no one other than hammer supposedly
Carmy: maybe hammer obducted him
St. Vicky: calisse
St. Vicky: thats not even funny
St. Vicky: thats a real possibility
Marly: shut up vicky dont jinx it
Marly: i can only deal with one emergency at a time
CC: and wheres rose landry
St. Vicky: still dancing
St. Vicky: with a girl now
CC: hot
CC: andi will agree with me
CC: cant wait to tell her
Marly: focus!
CC: i thought rose landry is one of our targets
Marly: bro no one is a target
Marly: we are not… shit i dunno… the mafia or whatever
Marly: we just want to intro roz to miles allen
Marly: cc and carmy go see if you can find hollander
Marly: AND KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ROZ
CC: or keep roz from hollander
CC: got it
Marly: good
Marly: im going to keep looking for miles allen
Marly: and maybe hammer will show up maybe not
Marly: i dont even care anymore
Carmy: yo i think i see hollander on the other side of the room
Marly: which room
Carmy: the one thats connect to the main room right when you get in through a hallway
Marly: i literally dont know which room your talking about
Marly: doesnt matter just let us know if he goes up stairs where roz is
St. Vicky: i see roz
St. Vicky: hes not coming back to the bar
St. Vicky: but walking toward the back stairs i think
Marly: keep him upstairs vicky
Marly: dont let him come down where hollander is
Marly: jfc
St. Vicky: im trying hes too far away
St. Vicky: ill try to catch up
Carmy: hollander is going toward the back
Carmy: maybe i should follow him
Marly: is he with anyone
Carmy: not that i can see
Carmy: but its very crowded
Carmy: nvm lost him
St. Vicky: uh… i think roz is going outside
Marly: carmy go get your eyes on hollander
Marly: just make sure he isnt also heading outside
Marly: to the same location as roz
Marly: for some godforbidden reason
CC: well…
Marly: not now conny
Marly: vicky ill meet you at the bottom of the back stairs
Marly: then we go get roz
St. Vicky: coming
Sebby: Hey guys, I think I fell asleep.
Sebby: What did I miss?
Sebby: Did we find Cap a new boyfriend?
A long moment later. Perhaps in the wee hours of the night
Best Boston Bros No 🧢
Marly: so…
Marly: anyone want to talk about what we saw
Hammer: hollander looks fking good up close and shirtless bro
Hammer: no wonder he pulled rose landry
St. Vicky: and roz too
St. Vicky: apparently
Sebby: What the hell is going on?
Sebby: Was Miles Allen not there?
Carmy: not now rookie
Carmy: ngl first I was fcking terrified that they were both outside the back entrance… at the same time
Carmy: and then i legit thought they were fighting
Carmy: like one of them was about to get taken down
Carmy: but like in some kind of aggressively close and sexually charged way….
Carmy: I mean theyve always been weird about each other
St. Vicky: word
Hammer: but then u realized they were trying to suck each others faces off
Carmy: ugh hammer wft bro
Carmy: thats disgusting
St. Vicky: hammers right tho
St. Vicky: that was the most aggressive making out ive seen.
Hammer: bro both their backs gotta have brick burns from the walls they were pushing each other up against
St. Vicky: theyll look like theyve been mauled by a bear tomorrow
Marly: I still didnt follow exactly how they both ended up mostly without shirts
CC: dunno if thats what we should focus on
CC: but yea im still in shock that roz pulled hollzy
Sebby: HELLO?
Sebby: I think I’m seeing things again…
Marly: wait for a sec sebs we dont have time for this right now
Marly: wtfdym conny
Marly: of course if anyone in the league could pull hollander it would be our cap
St. Vicky: i thought we believed in roz
CC: cant imagine hollander getting close with anyone bad at hockey
CC: he seems like the kind of guy that believes exchanging bodily fluids with anyone worse at hockey than him will ruin his game
Carmy: uhm…
Carmy: are you saying hollanders a virgin
CC: wat
Carmy: if hollander cant fuck anyone whose worse at hockey than him
CC: im sure girls dont count
CC: hes got rose landry
CC: no ones can resist rose fucking landry bro
CC: no guys no girls no one in between
CC: unless ur one of those people who dont do sex
CC: which
CC: no shade thats cool too but hollander uhm
CC: seemed pretty into roz
Marly: wtf conny
CC: wat
CC: its true
CC: andi said so she told me and shes usually right
Marly: ok alright fine god help me
Hammer: lets be real roz makes him better at hockey
Hammer: or maybe its the other way around
Hammer: either way games are always intense when we play against montreal
St. Vicky: 🤔
Marly: youre not wrong…
Hammer: i feel less bad about losing to montreal
Hammer: does that make sense?
Carmy: no it does not make any fucking sense hammer
Carmy: but we are cool about roz right
Carmy: and hollander
Carmy: roz and hollander
Carmy: we said we love him not matter what
Carmy: no walking that back now
St. Vicky: ok i support roz in who he chooses to love or fuck
St. Vicky: love is love and all
St. Vicky: plus hollander really did him a solid
St. Vicky: after what happened with boiziau
Hammer: thats more than a solid bro
Hammer: we were all talking the big talk
Hammer: but cmon we all knew itd be hard to find someone better than boiziau
Marly: and knowing now that rozs type is good hockey players…
CC: miles allen wouldnt have worked
St. Vicky: sure but i cant get behind cheating bro
St. Vicky: not even its hollander and roz
St. Vicky: and i have hella respect for both of them
Marly: ok but rose landry landry was dancing with other people
Marly: really close
Marly: you told us that vicky
St. Vicky: fine thats true
Carmy: maybe they have an open relationship
Carmy: some people have that
Carmy: no judgement there either bro
St. Vicky: dumbass thats usually because some asshole guys want to cheat on their girls and make it sound legit
CC: hollander doesnt seem like the sort of guy that would do that
St. Vicky: do we really know anything about him tho
St. Vicky: off the ice
Marly: lets not assume the worst of anyone until we can ask roz
Marly: or maybe hollzy directly
Marly: cap doesnt have family closeby but he has us
Hammer: im happy to have a chat with hollzy
Marly: not you hammer
Marly: if its going to be anyone its me
Hammer: fine wtv you can go first
Hammer: wow i just thought of something
Marly: do not think anymore than youve already done hammer
Hammer: can you imagine if roz and hollzy had kids
Hammer: theyd the best hockey players in the league by the time theyre old enough to be draft
Carmy: not how biology works
Hammer: and you know how biology works because?
Carmy: 🖕
Sebby: Can someone please explain to me WHAT THE FUCK is happening?
Sebby: Am I still high? What did the doc give me?
Sebby: Did I die and this is the afterlife?
Sebby: Will I get to meet Gordie Howe next?
Carmy: i wish
St. Vicky: you need to deal with the rookie Marly
St. Vicky: he sounds like hes about to pass out
Marly: get off the chat sebby
Marly: im calling you as soon as we are done here
Marly: and before we all try to get some sleep before the flight
Marly: letting yall know ive emailed management to get the team signed up for inclusivity training
Hammer: wat now
Carmy: why
Carmy: i dont want more training
St. Vicky: cmon marly we already train so much
CC: you cant be serious bro
CC: why we need include training
CC: we include everyone
CC: we love roz and support him we all literally just said that
Marly: look
Marly: i dont know wft inclusivity training actually is ok
Marly: i was just looking up how to support being gay in sports ok
Marly: and people say its important to have diversity and inclusivity
Marly: it was pretty obvious we dont actually know wtf to do or how
Marly: but first we need management know the team is inclusive and diverse
Marly: we all support it and we are serious
St. Vicky: i dont know what that means
Marly: see thats why we need formal training
Marly: maybe then we know the right words to use
Marly: so we can be taken seriously
Marly: if we ever need to make a stance or wtv
CC: ok… not the worst idea youve had marly
Marly: oh fu conner
Carmy: im in
St. Vicky: 👍
Hammer: obviously we will be great at it
Hammer: like everything else
Hammer: all we do is win
Sebby: Uhm I don’t know what we are doing exactly but count me in.
Marly: alright fuckers
Marly: as your A, im telling you all to get the fuck to sleep
Marly: weve got a flight and then early on on ice practice the day after
Marly: and it goes without saying that everything discussed in this chat stays in this chat
Marly: if a word of this gets out i know where yall live
St. Vicky: and ill help hide the bodies
Hammer: copy that
CC: 🫡
Carmy: 🫡
Sebby: 🫡
Ten minutes later. Sebby waits for Marly to call him while struggling to keep himself awake
Best Boston Bros No 🧢
Sebby: Marly!
Sebby: I just tried texting you and calling but you didn’t answer.
Sebby: Is anyone awake?
Sebby: MARLY!
Sebby: VICKY! CARMY! CONNY! HAMMER!
Sebby: Please respond!
Sebby: I need to know what happened to Cap.
Sebby: And apparently Hollander.
Sebby: And the no shirt situation.
Sebby: With kissing.
Sebby: Are you guys sure that’s what happened?
Sebby: I thought we wanted to get Cap and Miles Allen together?
Sebby: And how was Rose Landry involved in all of this?
Sebby: Keep our QUEEN out of this bro that’s not ok!
Sebby: WTAF guys! I need to know the truth!
Sebby: You can’t keep me in the dark forever!
Sebby: I know your room numbers and will break down the door if necessary!
Sebby: ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE MARLY!!!