Chapter Text
They were sitting on the sofa together, watching their latest anime in companionable silence while eating breakfast. Phil [he looks so adorable wearing his glasses with his hair messed up like that] was eating his own cereal because, to be honest, Dan's tasted best straight out of the box in the middle of the night. And while he might have complete faith in Dan's love for him, even the greatest and most enduring of passionate romantic commitments can be pushed too far by the wrong breakfast food infraction. Best not to take the chance.
He glanced over at Dan, who was chewing while gazing raptly at the television [sometimes this is the best part of the day just sitting here with phil watching tv in our pyjamas], and smiled to himself. Quiet moments like this made up for all the craziness in their lives. He saw that Dan's feet were peeking out from beneath his furry Game of Thrones blanket and worried that they might be cold. He adjusted his own blanket so that it covered Dan's feet [really he's probably the sweetest person alive] and returned his attention to his Shreddies and the anime. [love him love him love him]
The bus was crowded and so they were both standing, though this meant Dan actually had to bend his knees slightly [the curse of the tall person] to keep his head a safe distance from the ceiling. Phil knew that position couldn't be comfortable [this is really not comfortable], but Dan refused to take a seat even when one became available near them, insisting on offering it to one of the other people standing nearby. Phil smiled slightly to himself [wonder what made him smile like that]. Just another example of how kind a person Dan was. It was just one of many things he loved so much about him.
They were standing close together [love having him close] in the crush, and Phil allowed himself to enjoy this brief moment of having an excuse to be so near each other in public without fear of invasive fan attention. They weren't ashamed to be together, but neither did they enjoy prying questions. They preferred for some things about their life together to be private.
But that meant keeping their distance in public, and Phil had never gotten used to that. He wanted to be able to hold Dan's hand without worrying about what anyone else thought. But maybe that just wasn't a life they got to live.
He felt the smile on his face fade and turned to look sadly out the window [why does he look so sad?] at the world passing by.
They had an appointment with their accountant today, which was always tedious. They kept separate bank accounts but had been making most financial decisions together for years. [we’ve been everything together for years]
The accountant stepped out for a moment, leaving Dan and Phil alone to wait for him as he fetched some papers. Of course, Dan immediately pulled out his phone [love that i know phil isn't offended cause he accepts me], but Phil just fidgeted slightly in his leather chair, glancing around at the decor that had been chosen for the office.
Intrigued, he stood up and walked to a bookshelf to get a better look at a little statue that was propping up some books [what the fuck is he doing now?]. He couldn't tell what it was supposed to be. He imagined him and Dan with an office like this, with their Tetris lamp on one shelf and the blobfish on the corner of the imposing wooden desk. He laughed a little at the image, and Dan looked up. [only phil would find an accountant's office amusing]
"Phil!" he hissed. "Sit down and act like a grown up! We're buying a flat for god's sake!" [we're buying a flat! we're buying a flat!]
Phil just shrugged and grinned at him, but did return to his chair. He sat down and teased Dan, "What reward do I get?"
Dan rolled his eyes [like i'm really upset?] and muttered, "Oh for fuck's..." but then he leaned over and gave Phil a kiss, lovely and soft [want to kiss him all day long]. Phil might have pushed it further if the accountant hadn't opened the door and returned at that exact moment. Dan pulled away, shaking his head [my silly love] but smiling [love him love him love him], and returned his attention to the stuffy gentleman who handled their money [back to the boring stuff]. The accountant didn't raise an eyebrow, just settled down behind the desk and handed over the papers they needed to sign.
They arrived at the restaurant first, so when Phil saw Louise and Darcy arrive, he jumped up to give them both big hugs [love his hug face with his eyes squeezed tight and that big smile], first a tight squeeze for Louise [don't give me that look over his shoulder louise i never should have told you], then a more gentle one for little Darcy. Dan waited until he was done, then came in for his own turn [don't give me shit louise i'll do it when the moment is right]. When he crouched to hug Darcy, they spoke in low tones and then both giggled [i want one! one just like this!]. Dan's giggle sounded the same as it had when he was 18, making Phil smile with nostalgia. [not sure if phil's smile or darcy is cuter]
Conversation over lunch mostly centered around Darcy, who, at almost six, was old enough to join in adult conversation but still young enough to frequently come out with absolutely hysterical, unexpected perspectives on things [are all kids like little phils? would our own kids be little phils?]. Phil had always felt like he and Darcy were kindred souls, since the first time he'd held her and looked into her little baby face, and it only felt more true now. [he would make such a good dad]
He watched Dan [can feel his eyes on me ... love him love him love him]—when was he not watching Dan?—and noticed how much he smiled over the course of lunch, his dimples very much in evidence as he discussed various philosophical topics with Darcy [we could have one someday maybe i hope maybe]. Phil thought to himself, "Dan would be such a good father," but the idea made him a little sad [what happened? phil seems upset]. Still, it was the happiest Phil had seen him in a while, and he reached for Dan's hand under the table to give it a squeeze [when the moment is right when the moment is right] before returning to his meal.
During their walk from the bus stop to the flat [want to hold his hand but maybe someday], they saw a woman walking a dog that made Phil just stand and stare in awestruck admiration. It was a weiner dog—whatever they were called—but with obvious shaggy aspirations to be a Shetland pony. It looked like the softest thing he'd ever seen in his life.
"Is it okay if I pet your dog?" he asked [he's so freaking adorable], terrified that she would say no and he would miss out on perhaps his only chance to pet the shortest-legged Shetland pony in existence [the garden at the new flat is definitely big enough for a dog]. But she nodded and he went to his knees on the pavement, whereupon the dog promptly jumped into his lap, wriggling with excitement while Phil petted it [do we have a lint roller at home?]. It licked his face and he lifted his chin to avoid the slobbery gesture of affection, laughing. [he looks darcy's age right now] He looked at Dan, who was watching them [maybe the garden is big enough for a dog and a kid? someday?] and shaking his head with fond amusement [my silly silly love]. "Oh, you know you want to pet him, too," Phil said, beaming up at him. [has anyone ever been more beautiful?]
And that's how they both ended up with silky auburn fur all over their clothes by the time they got back to the flat. [damn ... no lint roller]
Phil had lost at rock-paper-scissors [ha! rekt!], so he was cooking dinner tonight while Dan sat on the sofa with his laptop. Phil was humming some catchy Sia tune he'd heard on Pandora last night [i want to spend the rest of my life listening to his crappy humming], wiggling his hips to the beat occasionally as he chopped and stirred. Despite the boring meeting with the accountant, it had been a really nice day.
"Hey Phil?" Dan called from the lounge. [been waiting for the right moment]
"Yeah?" Phil yelled back.
"Could you come in here for a minute?" [don't know why but right now feels right]
Phil frowned down at the pan on the hob. "Um ... kinda busy at the moment, slaving away over a hot stove."
There was silence from the lounge [is this really the right moment? yeah, yeah i feel it], then Dan shouted again, "Put a lid on the pan or something? Just for a minute." Phil sighed, looking for a lid to match the pan, and turned the heat to low.
He walked into the lounge to see Dan facing him on the sofa, laptop discarded on the table. Dan cleared his throat [i'm definitely not nervous], looking a little nervous. Phil went to sit [just grab him] but found himself suddenly wrapped up in Dan's arms, pulled into his lap and into an unexpectedly sweet, tender kiss. [love him love him love him] "I love you," Dan whispered against Phil's lips before opening his eyes and pulling away just far enough to be able to meet Phil's gaze. "And I always will." [love you so much you don't even know how much]
Phil smiled softly and leaned in for another lingering kiss. "This is worth delaying dinner any time," he quipped when their lips parted again. "I love you, too, Dan. You know I do." [like hearing you say those words: i do]
"And you always will," Dan said quietly [want you for always], and it didn't sound like a question, but Phil felt that it deserved an answer anyway.
He raised a hand to cradle Dan's cheek and said firmly, "And I always will." [want to always see that look in your eyes]
Dan's smile was as bright as the sun [this moment is so right], so bright Phil almost felt blinded by its beauty. He felt his lips turn up in an answering grin [he's so incredibly beautiful]. And he knew they were so very, very lucky. They might not have everything, but what they did have was better than anything he'd ever imagined he'd have in his life. He cuddled into Dan's embrace [this adorable man is my everything], ignoring the dinner simmering in the kitchen, and felt Dan press a kiss to the top of his head [love you love you love you]. He sighed happily.
It couldn't get any better than this. [okay louise you nosy bitch here goes...]
An hour later, still cuddled on Dan's lap, Phil pulled away from a passionate kiss [no!] to giggle, "Dinner's probably ruined." [oh that]
Dan smiled smugly [mine mine mine] and said, "We'll order pizza," then pulled Phil in to bring their lips together again. [mine forever]