Chapter Text
I loved the feeling of the waves crashing against my xenonite suit as I tumbled through the water. The cacophony lit up my senses in an almost intoxicating manner, with a brief glimpse of a world not many Eridians outside of the biodome construction crew got to experience.
Water was dangerous. We couldn’t swim so if we were outside of a xenonite suit, it was a death sentence as water floods our vents and messed with our bodies cooling systems. Even still, after everything the thrill was a part of the fun. I knew I was completely safe in the shallow waves so butting against that instinctual fear was thrilling. That and it made Grace laugh.
Imagine my surprise when I found out that humans could float on water. One day when Grace wasn’t teaching he’d waded out into the water with me, then just kept going. I yelled after him. Even in my suit deep water would cool me down enough to be dangerous. The human equivalent would be getting frostbite. Grace always did dangerous stuff like that, out where I couldn’t keep him safe.
I shuffled along the shore unsure what to do at first. I’d about made up my mind to trudge in after him when he popped up on the surface. I could just make out his splashing and laughing over the waves. I was angry at first, I’d been scared for his life and he was laughing.
Later, when Grace realized I was upset we had a talk, and he told me about something called swimming. I thought he was making it up to make me feel better but no, humans routinely and willingly go into deep water for fun. They even teach it to their young. Then again humans breathe poison so I shouldn’t have been surprised. That was before I ended up with a human avatar.
Once I’d become tied to a human form the topic of learning to swim came up in conversation a couple of times. If Grace insisted on doing it, then I wanted proof that it was safe. The familiar thrill was back too, the difference was that I wasn’t entirely convinced it was safe.
***
I’d been awake in the human avatar for roughly 12,000 seconds. I was working on adding pockets to the front panel of my sweater project when the idea struck, “Grace.” I called to get his attention. He let out a small hum as he typed away at his laptop, probably making lesson plans. “I want to learn how to swim.” I stated with a stomp. My decision was final. If Grace could do it, I could too.
“That’s nice Rocky.” He mumbled still focused on his maybe lesson plans. I watched him intently, waiting. His eyebrows furrowed as he slowly turned to match my gaze. He blinked a few times. “Hold on. You want to learn how to swim?”
I nodded, “Yes. You say it’s safe. I want to join.” He leaned forward and ran a hand through his hair deep in thought. “It’d be risky.” He mumbled. I crossed my arms, “Why? Question.” I didn’t need to use Eridian grammar when speaking English, but I did anyway. Old habits.
”There are a lot of factors. You’ve never been swimming before.” He leaned back in his chair and pulled his glasses down around his chin. He stared up at the ceiling for a second, “It’d probably be a bad idea to learn with the waves,” he mumbled.
I huffed, “You won’t teach me?” It was more of an accusation than a question. I squinted at him ready to stand up and tower over him about it. He was taller when standing, but he wasn’t standing right now. I liked being able to look down at Grace.
Grace nearly jumped out of his chair, “What? No! I’m just trying to think about how best to do this.” Oh. I should know when he’s thinking about a plan by now. I swear it’s harder to do in the avatar. Instead of dwelling on it, I wanted to go ahead and start learning to swim.
Seconds were ticking by, and I could wake up any moment. I love having human time with Grace, but I’m not purposefully re-linking once back in my real body. “Plan faster.” I squinted at him.
Ryland practically laughed, “I should have called you ‘Patience.’” I didn’t know humans could growl, I really didn’t. I was just playing back, but the sound that ripped from my throat did startle me. Good thing I played it off like I meant it, “No. I’m Rocky. You can’t take that back.” I stopped, “Now tell me the swimming plan.”
Grace chuckled again, “Okay. I’m still trying to figure out what we’ll need. It’ll be safer to learn in calm waters, and we’ll also need to get floa-.”
I didn’t quite catch the last part. I knew exactly how to get calm waters. “I will ask Adrian to turn off the wave machine!” I’d set aside the unfinished sweater pocket and tumbled out the door by the time Grace realized I’d bolted. Yes, I closed the door behind me. I made it, I’m going to use it properly.
I stumbled down the hill towards the beach, time waited for no one. I wasn’t going to waste a second. I had to get to the biodome team. I still struggled with sand, but I was completely prepared to use all four limbs available to me if I had to.
I faintly heard the door fly open behind me. I wanted to yell about closing it but my mind was racing faster than I could process. Eridian thought patterns overlapped in a human brain in a way that made it hard to think properly. My feet hit sand and I tumbled forward. Crawling it is. It felt better than standing anyway. “Rocky!” Grace yelled behind me.
”Rocky stop!” I had to do this, now. I didn’t want to wait. Adrian would gladly help, I just had to get home to them, and my sleeping body, so I could get started swimming today.
“Rocky!” Grace was insistent. A hand slipped from under me, and I once again got a face full of sand. At least I closed my eyes when I hit the ground this time. That was a lesson I don’t want to learn twice.
I heard labored footsteps behind me, with another sound accompanying the steps. Grace was using his cane. He only uses it when he’s running for extra balance, or when he knows he’s going to be standing for a long time. “Rocky!” Ryland huffed out of breath. “Rocky wait.” He’d finally caught up to me by the time I’d pushed myself up.
“What?” I huffed. I was so close to the airlock. I could practically feel its warmth in front of me. Grace hobbled in front of me and sat down so we were eye level.
”You’re in your human avatar.” Grace sounded concerned. Why would he be concer? He’s stating the obvious!
“I know that,” I huffed. “What does that have to do with asking Adrian to turn off the wave machine? Question!” I could ask Carl to watch over me while I sleep so Adrian can be with us during swimming lessons. Why is Grace so hung up on this.
”Erid’s atmosphere is lethal to humans.” Grace was talking to me like I was one of his students. I didn’t like that. It made me feel like I was being dumb. I’ve already proved that I’m the smarter of the two of us, and he normally agrees with me on that!
”I know that.” I crossed my arms and squinted at him for a bit. My eyes fell to Grace’s burn scars, evidence of what my atmosphere does to humans. I remembered how stiff and sore he’d been on after I’d made him stop overdosing on pain killers. I looked past his towards the airlock, and the pitch darkness beyond it where Carl was likely wondering what we were up to.
+++
I came to a realization. I really did feel stupid. I wilted. The heat of my own atmosphere would cook my avatar alive, and since I can’t wake up at will I’d experience the whole thing. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
Stupid inefficient human brain! Stupid ability to forget things! I shouldn’t be able to forget things! It’s impossible for an eridian to forget unless we receive a lot of damage. Yet here I am, almost at the airlock. I’m so glad Grace got to me in time. I slammed my hands against my head, “Human! Brain! Inefficient! Bad! Bad! Bad!” My eyes stung again. I couldn’t get myself to form fluent English.
Ryland shuffled forward and grabbed my hands from my head, “Hey, Rocky.” I shuttered. I shook my head and closed my eyes. I’d almost died because I forgot my avatar wasn’t… “”Rocky look at me” I tried to pull away. “You’re okay. It’s okay.”
Grace was supposed to be the leaky space blob, not me. I leaned forward and cried into his shoulder. “Almost died. Bad memory almost...” I hiccuped. It startled me just enough to pull me from spiraling back to the Adrian incident.
Grace squeezed my hands, “You’re okay. Carl wouldn’t have let the airlock cycle.” His hands shook, and I could feel his heart pounding. “Promise?” I felt like a pebble asking, but something in me needed the reassurance.
“I promise.”
+++
After Grace helped me realize my avatar wasn’t Erid proof and helped me calm down, we walked along the beach together like those times before I was linked. We hadn’t done this in a while. We hung out while I was back in my real body but I missed our walks.
I walked closer to the waves like always. Wet sand is easier to balance on. I’d taken my shoes off. They’d apparently belonged to a crew member of Grace, but they fit me well enough. Either way I didn’t want to get them wet. I kicked at the waves as they lapped against my shins and threatened to knock me over.
The usual thrill of battling the waves had returned. I was still shaken, but stomping in the water helped. “So.” I started, “What is rest of swimming plan, question?” My brain was still buzzing too much to bother with fluent English at the moment.
Grace chuckled, “You’re not going to run off this time right?” He smiled as he watched my expressions closely.
“No promises.” I jumped, holding Yao’s shoes to my chest. I successfully splashed Grace! Haha! Take that!
He shielded himself with his free hand with a little, “Hey!” Then nodded. “Okay, since you’ve never been swimming before we’ll need floaties.”
“Floaties?” I interrupted. I swear Ryland was making stuff up again. “They’re floatation devices you wear around your arms.” I kicked another wave at him, “Why not say that?” He just shrugged.
“We’ll also need a boogie board or two.” Grace continued. “You are making that up!” I rebuked. “I am not! It’s a board that floats on water. I’ll show you when we get to the house!” He held a hand up. I squinted at him.
***
One moment I was playfully arguing with Grace over the naming convention of floatation devices, the next sight was gone and sound flooded back in a was that I was used to. I felt like I was whole again. My memories from my time in avatar neatly slotted into place where they’d stay for the rest of my life.
I heard Adrian trill beside me, and felt the gentle pressure of their carapace against mine. “Humans are weird.” I grumbled. Adrian ran a hand down one of my limbs, “Oh? How so?” They cooed.
I told them about the them about what happened today while in my avatar. They leaned more weight on me to comfort and let out an amused, “Of course I will help you learn to swim.” We don’t have a true word for swimming so it was more like ‘safe-run-in-water.’
“I will work with the dome team to shut down the wave machine. You go ahead and get started on making those,” Adrian trilled a laugh, “floaties.” I stretched as my body got used to moving again, “I will get started right away my symphony!” I chirped.
“Wait for me to join you on the beach before you start learning.” Adrian nudged.
“Yes! Yes! Yes! I will I promise!” I bounced in return. Sure I was bummed that I didn’t get to start today, but there are a lot of preparations that I need to make while in my real body.