Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Damon doesn’t know what to do, and honestly he’s starting to wish he never fell in love in the first place. It’s been a little over a week since he sat in his room and poured out his feelings into a love letter that he was meant to give to his roommate; a love letter that was still sitting in his blazer pocket like a deadweight pulling him down. It was becoming increasingly infuriating and yet he knows that he only has only himself to blame for his poor understanding of romance and relationships alike. 

It’s something he can’t stop thinking about, no matter how much he tries to will the thoughts away. Every day he’s reminded of the letter shoved into his blazer pocket, neatly folded and protected at all costs, lest it accidently slip out of his grasp and onto the floor for someone to pick up. 

It’s a dangerous feat, having the letter on his person at all times. In class it sits there idly and his fingers brush up against it as he walks home from the library, a subtle yet cruel reminder that he’s yet to fess up and hand it over to its intended recipient.

Every morning as he gets ready he makes sure it’s still sitting there. A spike of anxiety comes over him whenever Kai comes too close. So close that if he was paying enough attention he could see the corner of paper peeking out from his pocket; as if calling to him, begging him to reach out for it.

It’s become such a problem that there’s been a noticeable shift in his behaviour. A once independent, confident man reduced to an apprehensive, anxious mess that flinches whenever anyone dares to get too close to the pocket that contains secrets he’s far too embarrassed to hand over. 

It’s something that even Kai has picked up on, his curiosity piqued as he pulls him to the side one day to ask if everything is alright–if he’s sleeping properly and taking reasonable breaks during long-haul study sessions. 

Damon really didn’t have the heart to tell him in the moment. It was utterly pathetic and he wishes more than anything to move past this humiliating time in his life; return to the days of simplicity where he was oblivious to his feelings and could go on about his days believing that his feelings were nothing but platonic despite how obvious it was that they weren’t.

It’s something he’ll never admit out loud, but Toshiko has been an eye opener for him. Scolding him for passing off his behaviour towards his roommate as purely an act between two close friends when to anyone else it looked like something much more. Apparently. (Damon is still convinced otherwise.)

“You might as well be stringing the poor man along at this point!” 

It has Damon internally cringing. It’s not his fault he doesn’t understand how these sorts of feelings worked; has never had anything to reference besides his own parents' healthy marriage. But if he’s being completely honest that’s not much to work with, much to his dismay. 

Unfortunately for Damon it’s not just Kai who has picked up on his sudden shift in behaviour, because of course it isn’t. It’s not just him but also a certain matchmaker who seems extremely keen on guiding his relationship, giving him annoyingly helpful pointers on how to go about progressing their relationship.

Toshiko Kayura. 

It’s Toshiko who corners him after class one day, bouncing on her heels excitedly as she watches Kai exit the room, thankfully having the common courtesy to wait for the influencer to leave before hounding him on his love life. At least she respects him and his dignity to some degree, he supposes. Small wins.

“Mochi, I couldn’t help but notice you have been acting rather out of character recently,” she observes, peering over him as he packs his belongings into his bags and he can’t help but scowl. “Might I guess that this sudden change in behaviour in the past week has to do with the one you’ve found yourself enamoured with?” she asks teasingly, her voice rising in excitement. 

Damon takes a deep breath before standing up and sliding his bag over his shoulder. No doubt he was about to get harassed by a particularly nosey fourteen year old when he would much rather be left alone with his thoughts. It’s something he can’t avoid, though. It was only natural that the Ultimate Matchmaker would pick up on any budding romance within her class.

“Is there a reason you're asking?” he questions, because for as correct as she may be in her observation, he wasn’t about to willingly give up any information without any back and forth first. Not to mention it could be somewhat amusing to tease the younger girl, make her wait until he gives the full story. (A little bit of payback for the past couple of weeks, he supposes.)

Toshiko gasps in disbelief, shaking her head. “I cannot believe you’d say such a thing!” she scolds, clicking her tongue disapprovingly. “I just happened to notice a shift in my friend’s behaviour and wanted to offer up my advice since I have a suspicion that this does have something to do with our lovely Ultimate Influencer!” she hums proudly, puffing her chest out. 

Damon nods. “Right,” he answers bluntly, starting to leave the classroom. If he was about to discuss what’s been happening recently he was going to need a breath of fresh air. “Unfortunately, you’d be correct in saying that this has something to do with him, as much as I hate to admit it,” he groans, looking back to see Toshiko following him, her eyes sparkling mischievously.

Toshiko nods eagerly. “Aha, I knew that I was correct!” she giggles proudly, moving so that she’s by his side as they walk down the halls and outside into the courtyard. “I must ask, though, did you find yourself successful in asking him to spend the winter break with you?” she presses, a skip in her step.

Was his love life seriously that interesting to her?

“Yeah, I did,” he mumbles, averting eye-contact as he thinks back on the memory, unable to stop the way the corners of his mouth quirk up in a small smile as he’s reminded of the look of pure and unadulterated joy on Kai’s face when he realised that he was being serious about the invite.

Toshiko nearly squeals at this information and he can’t help but huff out a laugh at her behaviour. It seemed so strange to him to get excited over someone else's romantic endeavours; but if you were part of the reason they were progressing in the first place, he guesses he can’t blame her.

“If that is the case though, might I ask why you look so troubled, Mochi?” Toshiko pries once she’s regained her composure, cocking her head to the side. 

Damon frowns. Once again he’s reminded of the love letter as he shoves his hand into his blazer pocket, a habit he has subconsciously picked up over the past few days to make sure he doesn’t lose it. If this were anyone else he wouldn’t answer the question, but by now Toshiko knew more about his personal life than most people and so he figures he might as well tell her now. She’d find out one way or another even if he decided to not tell her. 

Double checking to make sure that Kai, or anyone for a matter of fact wasn’t around he takes a deep breath and prepares himself for what he’s about to admit out loud for the first time; not even having said it to himself yet, making it feel like the reality hadn’t truly set in of what he’s done.

“I wrote a letter for him but I don’t know how to give it to him,” he admits quietly, refusing to meet the younger girl's eyes for his own sake, and Toshiko’s loud gasp is enough to make him want to disappear for at least a year, anyway. 

“Oh my goodness, Mochi!” She yells, and when he looks up she’s staring at him with eyes sparkling more than he believed to be possible and there’s this look of teasing adoration plastered over her face. “I had no idea you could be so romantic, yet I am pleasantly surprised to hear so!” she rambles on, muttering something incomprehensible under her breath.

Damon groans. “Shut up, it’s humiliating enough as it is,” he mutters, a hand coming up to cover his face as a soft heat comes to settle across his cheeks, only rising as the seconds pass. “I can’t fucking believe I’m admitting to this,” he curses under his breath, donning this as perhaps one of the most embarrassing moments of his life. 

Toshiko can’t stop herself from squealing this time, bouncing on her heels. “Ah, this has to be one of the more romantic things I have seen throughout my career!” she gushes, fanning herself gently. “I really thought you were hopeless, Mochi–but it seems you have proven me wrong!” she teases, fluttering her eyes at him.

“Shut up!” Damon hisses, only now just realising his mistake. If only he could turn back time, but alas, it was far too late for that. “It would be much more romantic if I actually knew how to confess to him–how the hell am I supposed to hand him a love letter in the first place?” he complains as they move to a nearby bench, both sitting down. 

Toshiko hums in consideration. “I see where you’re coming from now, Mochi,” 

Damon sighs, dropping his head in defeat. “It’s one thing actually writing a letter but giving it to him is a completely separate issue,” he explains, tapping his foot in irritation. “It doesn’t feel right to just give it to him randomly one day without any explanation,” 

Toshiko nods in affirmation. “I understand your concerns now, this must be why you look so troubled then?” she concludes, looking to be deep in thought before chuckling quietly under her breath. “Although I must say, it is rather sweet that you’re so concerned about finding the perfect time to hand him this love confession–it  is only natural, of course, to want the best for your love!” 

Damon shoots her a glare. Every second that passed he was coming to regret asking her for advice; but she was his last resort, his only resort as a matter of fact. It wasn’t like he could ask anyone else for advice, after all. Anyone else would be rather unsuitable, not to mention he wasn’t close enough with any of his classmates to go to them seeking relationship advice. (Eva is off the cards right now because he believes she’d only tease him further.)

“I’m looking for genuine advice here, not humiliation,” Damon scowls, leaning back in his seat. 

Toshiko cocks her head to the side, giving him an inquisitive look. “Oh? You’re asking for my advice, Mochi?” she presses, leaning up closer to him. “I see, well then, you must be rather desperate to be seeking support from me, how humorous!” she teases, laughter spilling from her lips.

Damon scowls. “I will not hesitate to walk away from you right now, Toshiko,” he threatens, narrowing his eyes at her. “I’m not looking to entertain your strange obsession with my romantic life, like I said, I’m seeking genuine advice from you right now,” he clarifies, and it pains him enough having to admit it out loud.

Going to a fourteen year old for relationship advice? Seriously, how low has he sunk these past few weeks?

Toshiko’s face of horror is something he’ll never forget. “I cannot believe you would threaten me like that!” she whines, shaking her head in disbelief. “However, I shall respect your request and offer up my best advice!” she exclaims proudly, looking as if she’s ready to tackle the world. It was almost endearing. Almost.

Damon sighs in relief. “Thank you, Toshiko,” 

“I do believe that the environment in which you confess these feelings is extremely important to how your confession goes,” Toshiko begins to explain, and it all comes out so naturally; it’s obvious that this is something she’s well versed in.

Damon nods. 

“I imagine you have already come to this conclusion but do confess when the two of you are alone, perhaps in the evening after classes have ceased for the day,” she suggests quietly. “It would make for an uninterrupted atmosphere, of course,” 

Damon nods in agreement. “Yeah, I figured that would make the most sense,” he replies, yet there’s still a frown resting upon his lips. “But how exactly do I bring it into conversation without it coming across as strange, or making things overall uncomfortable?” he asks. It was perhaps the most pressing issue on his mind; being able to casually shift the conversation topic into a confession.

It was like his debate tournaments where he’d have to decide at which moment was the best to transition into his next argument–execpt this time he was confessing his feelings and not participating in a competition. (Perhaps it was for the best that he stopped comparing the two.)

“I believe that this is something you will find difficult no matter the situation you are in, whether the atmosphere is relaxed or not, it is only natural your nerves will be overwhelming you,” Toshiko explains softly, almost comforting in a strange way. “If the conversation is passing smoothly then perhaps you can mention that there is something you must talk to him about–just go for it,” she encourages, a look of determination on her face.

Damon nods. “I suppose you’re right,” he mumbles, dragging a hand over his face as he groans. It was simple advice, really, but helpful nonetheless. Toshiko wasn’t wrong in saying he just needed to go for it; take a risk and hope for the best unless he wants to miss his chance. “I just hope I was able to get my feelings across in a way that makes sense,” he murmurs, recalling everything he wrote in the letter. 

Toshiko beams. “I’m sure everything will go swimmingly, Mochi!” she encourages. It’s clear she’s genuinely rooting for him and it's appreciated, even if he might have to deal with a handful of teasing comments in between all the helpful advice. 

A frown comes over his face, unconvinced. “It’s just, this is all so foreign to me and I can’t help but worry that I’m doing something wrong–that this isn’t the right way,” he explains, unable to stop the deprecating thoughts from taking over. “It’s what works for me but is that the correct answer?” 

Is this something that Kai will even appreciate? 

It’s then that Toshiko slaps him round the head with her fan, a scowl on her face before quickly covering herself with it again, coughing in an attempt to regain her composure.

“What the fuck?!” Damon scowls, rubbing the back of his head in irritation and shooting her an offended glare. “What did you do that for?!” he demands, cursing under his breath at the sudden throbbing pain in the back of his head. 

Who knew getting smacked around the head by a fan could hurt so much.

Toshiko huffs. “I apologise, Mochi but you must realise that it is only natural that I react in such a way considering what you have just said to me!” she argues back, as if that justified her assault. 

In what way is that a natural reaction?! 

“Elaborate,” Damon answers bluntly, staring daggers into her eyes.

Toshiko chuckles nervously before continuing. “It is important that you realise there are no rules to how you express your romantic feelings for another; no binding law that asserts that there is a correct way to confess!” she scolds, that look of determination returning to her face as she speaks. 

Damon sighs. “I know that,” he mutters, unable to deny the truth behind her words. It didn’t make it any easier though. 

Toshiko shakes her head, tutting quietly. “I believe that romantic love is a unique experience for all that have the pleasure to feel it, and that is what makes it so wonderful–every tale, every story is a one-of-a-kind!” she gushes, passion evident in her sparkling eyes. “So do not let the social conventions of romance hold you back from expressing your feelings in a way that makes you comfortable,” she concludes, her words softening at the end.

Damon sighs, nodding. “I understand that, and that’s why I hate it so much–not having a correct answer to look for,” he mumbles, wishing that the girl didn’t have to be so truthful in her claims. “It’s not something I can study for like a debate because not everything that is suggested on how to confess will work for me and it’s just so infuriating,” 

Toshiko hums. “But you found that the letter works for you?” she asks, cocking her head to the side. “If you’ve found something that allows you to express your feelings then you should go for it–do not force yourself into using a method that will make you uncomfortable, Mochi!” 

“Yeah, you’re right,” he mutters. “I suppose that I’ll give him the letter then,” he decides, swallowing the lump in his throat. “Thank you for the advice, Toshiko,” he says earnestly. 

Toshiko nods. “It’s my pleasure, after all, it is so entertaining seeing just how inexperienced you are in the realm of romance and relationships!” she teases, snickering to herself quietly. Clearly she was enjoying herself very much. 

Damon rolls his eyes. “Shut up,” but he can’t help the fond smile that comes over his face. In the end her advice was actually helpful; it came from a place of genuine concern for a friend and a desire to help him progress in a situation where he lacked the experience to do so himself. 

“Also do you mind if I read that little love letter of yours?” she asks curiously, hope in her twinkling eyes. “I just want to proof-read, that is all,” 

“No,” 

Toshiko pouts. “Fine!” she whines loudly and he can’t stop the laughter that spills from his lips.

Damon may never admit out loud but Toshiko really was a good friend. 

It’s late into the evening the next day when Damon knows he needs to do it; to let his guard down and confess his feelings. It’s something that he can no longer ignore even if he wanted to, Toshiko’s words from yesterday afternoon running rampant in his mind, her advice to ‘just go for it’ at the forefront as he tries to focus on his conversation with Kai to no avail. 

I need to tell him.

Both men are sitting on Damon’s bed as he tries to go through and explain something from a previous debate tournament to the former. It’s unfortunately easy to say that he’s failing miserably, confession sitting on the tip of his tongue and a letter lying in his pocket; hand twitching in anticipation to reach for it. 

Every time he tries to regain composure, keep on focus and ramble on about something that the influencer sat cross-legged in front of him very evidently doesn’t understand he’s stopped by the look that he gives him. Enough to have his words dying in his throat and a hand coming to clutch at his chest. It’s not looking good for him at all. 

Seriously, screw Kai and his good looks. 

It's the way he stares at him; as if his focus is on him and solely him–like he’s worth listening to, someone important. It doesn’t matter that it’s late into the evening because he looks wide awake, eyes twinkling as he listens, taking in each and every one of his words, nodding along every now and then to show that he cares. A small yet soft smile rests on his lips and it takes every down-bad bone in his body to will his eyes from them, his breath catching in his throat.

It’s there that it hits him how intoxicatingly in love he is; how badly he needs to confess his feelings before his behaviour worsens any more, if that was possible at all. It’s a situation he never once could imagine himself being in, love-struck for a man who just months ago he swore he’d never like, would never understand. But now as he watches him listen to his rambles, alert as ever, does his feelings truly solidify within him. How much the man in front of him has changed him, the profound effect he has had on his life without even realising it.

Whether that was a curse or a blessing he is yet to decide.

“Damon, is everything okay?” It’s Kai’s quiet voice that brings him out of the depths of his mind, a look of concern plastered across his face.

Shit. Did he just stop talking all of a sudden?

Damon coughs into his hand, suddenly feeling extremely awkward. “Yes, everything is fine,” he assures, giving him a small smile. It’s now or never; he has to say something. “Ah, actually, there is something I’d like to talk to you about if that’s alright?” he begins, cursing his voice for the way it trembles. Damn it.

If he had to compare the nerves he was feeling right now to anything he’d say that they’re on par with the dread he felt on the day of his first debate tournament–and that was a day he never wishes to relive, even if he came out victorious. 

In an attempt to make the conversation feel slightly more serious he shifts so that he’s sat on the edge of his bed, the other man copying his actions to sit beside him. 

Kai looks worried, cocking his head to the side. “Of course, is everything alright?” he asks, and when he looks over he notices that he’s playing with the rings on his hand, as if he’s afraid that he did something wrong. 

“Yeah, I just–” he pauses, swallowing the lump in his throat, hands folded neatly in his lap. 

“I-I didn’t do something wrong did I?” Kai asks nervously, chewing on his bottom lip.

“No, of course not,” he says, perhaps too harshly–unable to hold back his anxiety as he fishes for the letter in his pocket; smoothing the paper with his fingers as he takes a deep breath and removes it, near shoving it into his roommate's hands. “Take it,” he orders sternly, furrowing his eyebrows.

Kai doesn’t take it and instead stares blankly at the letter in front of him. “Huh?” he chokes out, looking rather bewildered as his eyes glance over at the letter, as if he’s trying to decipher it without even reading things.

Damn bastard.

Damon scoffs, shoving it closer to his hands, forcing the other man to take it. “Just take it!” he hisses, jaw clenching as he watches the other man give him a confused look. 

“Alright, man, jeez!” he whines, taking the letter, staring at it for a moment curiously before unfolding it and giving it a quick glance. “I swear, there’s no need to be so vague you–” All words die on his lips at that moment as the words in front of him seem to finally register in his mind, eyes widening in surprise. 

There’s really no going back now. Fuck. 

Kai,

I am writing this letter to express my unrelenting and ever changing feelings. I ask you to please consider not reading this out loud to me when you receive this, for the embarrassment of writing a love letter alone is enough to make me want to disappear. Yet I am afraid it is the only way for me to most accurately get my feelings across to you without creating a misunderstanding between us.

When we first met, I thought you were weird, and annoying. And while that may still be true, over time, you’ve somehow broken down that barrier. It lets me see what your fans see inside. Someone I aspire to be more like. Someone a bit more carefree, yet still grounded in their own reality. Someone I could actually consider a friend. 

Or maybe more. Shit. This is so sappy and cliché.

Although I suppose you seem like you sort of person to like romantic love letters where the other person pours their heart out to the person they like, right? Unfortunately I’m unable to provide that for you. I've never been the type to write letters like this before, so I hope this will suffice.

What I'm trying to say is I think I've developed romantic feelings for you. Though I suppose it’s less of a thought and more of a definite now; no matter how much I try to shove these feelings down as I've regrettably done so for months, they will eventually surface, whether I want them to or not. 

It took a lot of humiliation and receiving advice from a fellow classmate before I came to the realisation that I had developed feelings for you. I wasn’t all that sure whether these were reciprocated or not, and although I assume you can already tell: I've never felt this way for someone before. You’re the first. 

It’s difficult to put into words but I hope you can understand how strongly I feel for you and how, as much as I try to deny it, how utterly weak I am to you and your requests as pathetic and uninteresting as they seem to be. Somehow I always end up relenting, finding you to be a piece of work yet always crumbling underneath your warm smile and infectious laughter.

It’s honestly rather sickening the effect that you’ve had on me. I often find myself wondering how someone so different to me could cause me to feel ways I've never felt, think things that have my heart and mind stuttering and behave in rather embarrassing ways that have me wanting to hide away from the world. (I sincerely apologise for what I consider to be the ‘Crepe Incident’ the other weekend.)

I believe this is a good place to end my feelings and I hope you can take the time to consider them and perhaps even return them with due time. I may not be the best with my words, may be harsh on you in more ways than one, and struggle when it comes to displaying affection but I can say with full confidence that I am willing to try for you.

I suppose you really do live up to your title as the Ultimate Influencer. 

Take as much time as you need, Kai. I will wait as long as you need. 

Damon. 

Damon watches with anxiety-induced anticipation as Kai reads over the letter; almost forgets to breathe as he attempts to gauge the other man's reaction–the silence following enough to make him feel light-headed. It’s utterly terrifying as he watches with baited breath as Kai’s cheeks brighten, colour only deepening as the seconds pass by, his own cheeks matching that familiar pink colour, reaching the tips of both their ears. 

Kai’s lips part as if to say something but nothing but a choked noise escapes; eyebrows furrowing as he scans over the letter once more. It’s clear he’s been stunned into silence, hands shaking as he double, triple checks the contents of the letter, swallowing loudly. 

It’s simply driving Damon insane and he decides he can’t watch any longer. It’s too much as the silence drags on impossibly further. As if time itself has frozen and he’s stuck in an impossible time loop of watching his roommate stare at the letter, unable to gauge his reaction. 

Silently he curses himself for ever falling in love, wishing for everything to be easier, to be like his debates with a clear and correct answer. Instead he’s allowed this man sitting next to him to become his entire world, take over his every waking thought.

Seriously, what was taking Kai so damn long?!

It’s then that he decides to glance over at his roommate and he sees what may be the worst thing he’s ever lay his eyes on; tears spilling out from Kai’s eyes, soft sobs that he tries to cover with a free hand, moving to gently place the letter down on his bed. Large, splotchy ones have made their way onto the letter, staining the paper and his words in the process.

Shit. Why the hell was Kai crying?! 

Damon doesn’t know what to say, he’s staring at his roommate with concerned eyes, trying and failing to keep his composure. Although it was understandable considering the person that he’s just opened up to, confessed his feelings to is staring at his lap, sniffling quietly to himself as he sneaks glances over at the letter lay by his side. 

Damon thought the sight of Kai crying is the worst, most confusing thing he’s seen all day. But he’s quickly proven wrong when something perhaps even more shocking happens, rendering him utterly speechless. 

Kai is giggling. It’s quiet at first but as the seconds pass they become louder, soft, wet laughter escaping his lips as he wipes another stray tear from his eyes; lifting his head up to look at him and give a small, weak smile. 

What the fuck?!

“I-I’m so sorry!” Kai apologies, voice trembling as he tries to speak but instead the giggles only continue before a hand comes to cover his mouth in a poor attempt to stifle them; the waterworks not stopping even once as this happens. 

“Huh?” Damon can’t help the pathetic, confused noise that leaves his lips. It’s only natural, given the reaction he’s currently witnessing and still couldn’t properly gauge. 

“I didn’t know you could be so romantic, so poetic with your words, Damon!” Kai chuckles wetly, voice still shaky as he tries to get his words out. “I mean seriously?! How did you manage to bring me to–to tears!” he exclaims, voice rising a few octaves as he all but yells at him. 

“I don’t…know?” Damon says uncertainly, finding any coherent words to be stuck in his throat as he speaks. In all honesty everything is still processing in his mind and this was the last reaction he was expecting; not that he knew what to expect, of course. (Not to mention he had no idea he was being that romantic?)

“I can’t believe you said you couldn’t write one of those romantic love letters where the person pours out their heart to the person they like when you–you literally did that, idiot!” he bawls, sniffling loudly as he shakes his head in disappointment. 

Is that a good thing?! 

“You were right by the way,” he whispers, blinking up at him with tears in his eyes. “I do find these sorts of things extremely romantic,” he croaks, still looking absolutely pathetic as he rubs his eyes weakly, face bright red from crying. 

Damon swallows. “You do?” he asks obviously, never having felt so lost in his life; it was like he was having an out of body experience as he tried to process the words being said to him, the cogs slowly but surely turning within his head. 

Oh. 

Oh!

Damon gulps. “Does this mean you…like me?” he dares to ask, cringing at the way his voice cracks, hands shaking in his lap. “I wasn’t sure if writing a letter was the most appropriate way to confess my feelings, but you seem to like it?” he says, unable to maintain eye-contact with the man sitting across from him. 

Internally he reminds himself to thank Toshiko when he sees her next. If it wasn’t for her advice he may have never gone forward with the confession; leaving the letter to rot in his blazer pocket before ultimately deciding that it’s been too long and destroying any evidence that it ever existed. 

But Kai liked it–found it romantic, even. It left him with a disgustingly sweet feeling in his stomach; corroding away at him as he tries to suppress the way his lips curve up in a smile. Suddenly he’s extremely grateful that nobody else but himself and the one who was at fault for him feeling this way were in the room.  

“Of course it means I like you, dumbass!” Kai confesses, fists balling up as more wet, hot tears stream down his face. “I like you a lot, more than you could ever understand! ” he mumbles, continuing to angrily rub at his eyes. “Shit–” 

“I-I see then,” Damon stammers and he feels himself freezing up, going tense at hearing the verbal confirmation that his feelings were reciprocated. It was a strange thing; and the words weren’t fully settling in, rather playing on repeat in his mind like a broken record. 

Kai actually liked him back. 

“I mean how could I not like you after such a romantic letter,” Kai laughs quietly, still blinking up at him with sweet, almost suave eyes, a mischievously endearing smile resting on his lips. “I didn’t know you could be so considerate–it’s honestly kinda cute,” he teases, giggling to himself, a perfectly pink blush dusting his cheeks.

… 

“H-Huh?!” Damon splutters, instinctively flinching at the suddenly flirtatious comment. It surprises him as he tries to stop his racing heart, find the words to respond. Any and all dying in his throat, unable to react when nobody ever spoke to him in such a way before; left him speechless like the influencer in front of him has on multiple occasions. 

What the fuck?!

Meanwhile he takes note of Kai who’s still giggling to himself as if he’s not just turned his world upside-down, a large, proud smile plastered over his face as the blood rushes to his cheeks, traveling up his neck and to the tip of his ears. 

Damon coughs into his hand, still feeling rather bashful. “I’m glad you liked the letter but I still feel pretty awkward about all of, well, this–” he admits, sighing loudly. “I’ve never done anything like this before and I’ll be completely honest, your reaction confused me at first,” he says, eyebrows furrowing.

Kai chuckles. “Ah, I’m sorry about that,” he replies, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m really happy you wrote the letter and honestly I’m like, super thankful you’re the one who confessed first–” he murmurs, tugging the sleeve of his shirt over his hand. “I definitely couldn’t have done it on my own! I mean, holding your hand was hard enough, haha!” 

Damon nods. “I see, but just to clarify–this does mean you actually like me, right?” he asks. If he was being completely honest he was just fishing for an excuse to hear those words again, confirmation that he wasn’t being delusional in his thoughts and that what he heard was actually true. That Kai really harbored feelings for him too.

How pathetic. 

Kai deadpans. “I already said I liked you, Damon! Are you–” he shakes his head, giving him a reassuring look. “If I’m being honest with you, I’ve had feelings for you for, like, ages!” he confesses, chewing on his lower lip nervously. “I was just too nervous to say it because I didn’t know if you felt the same, you know?” 

Damon pauses. “Seriously?!” he says incredulously. It was a known fact by now that he was slow to realise these sorts of things but there was no way he didn’t pick up on his roommate's crush at least a little bit, right?!

Kai nods enthusiastically. “Yeah!” he confirms, a sullen look on his face as his head drops. “I was kinda worried that if I confessed and you didn’t feel the same way, that, well–I was worried about losing one of the few people I care about…” he admits, shuffling uncomfortably in his seat. “It scared the hell outta’ me, man!” he yells, looking up at him with tear filled eyes. 

Damon gulps. “I see,” he mumbles, suddenly feeling rather guilty for leaving Kai alone to dwell on his fears about unreciprocated feelings when in reality he was just too dense to realise he was in love, apparently.

“If you had to give me a timeframe, how long ago would you say it’s been since you realised you developed feelings for me?” he mutters quietly, not quite prepared for the answer that’s bound to humiliate him more than he’s already been these past few weeks. 

Kai hums to himself, a hand on his chin as he considers the question before his eyes light up in realisation. “Ah, I’d say it’s been around three months at this point…” he exclaims, a shy smile on his face. “I know that’s kinda long, but can you really blame me?” he huffs childishly.

“Three months, huh?” he repeats quietly to himself. 

Oh shit?! It’s really been that long since Kai first developed feelings for him?!

Damon can’t deny that he feels slightly bad now for not realising his feelings sooner, although not exactly his fault he was so inexperienced when it came to things like this. In the past few weeks since coming to the conclusion that he was in love he’s suffered in more ways than one; mentally broken down by the inability to focus on his education, friendships and over all daily life without his brain somehow working its way back to Kai. 

It had been nauseating simply talking to the influencer and it was by far the most infuriating part of falling in love. Often he would just find himself becoming annoyed with himself and the lack of progress he was making. 

It was such a terrible thing that he very quickly realised that he couldn’t sit around forever and do nothing about it; couldn’t wait for something, anything to happen. If he didn’t fess up and confess his feelings he would either miss his chance at being in a relationship with Kai, or be driven insane. Perhaps both. 

It’s now that he realises how much he needed Toshiko these past few weeks, and he makes another mental note to thank her when they cross paths next. 

Damon couldn’t be more than grateful that his feelings were reciprocated. At least his efforts, all the internal suffering he endured wasn’t for nothing. It’s actually nice having your feelings returned, he realises and he finds himself feeling no regrets in making the decision to confess; as nerve-wracking as it was. 

“I guess I didn’t realise my own feelings until a few weeks ago myself,” he admits, coughing into his hand, suddenly feeling rather embarrassed about how long it took to realise in comparison to his roommate. “It was actually the day we visited the Christmas market that I realised–something in me just clicked, I suppose,” he says, deciding not to mention the bit where Toshiko was a massive help in that realisation. 

That was a secret he’s serious about taking to the grave.

Kai’s eyes widen and they’re practically sparkling at this sudden admission, a small, surprised gasp escaping his lips. That familiar blush coming over his face as he leans impossibly closer to Damon’s face, taking his hand in his own, clutching it tighter than ever as he practically shakes from excitement.

“Wha–” 

“Does that mean that the Christmas market was a date all along?!” he asks and he’s practically radiating as he speaks, looking to be a mix of flustered as the heat rises to his cheeks but also excitement, refusing to break eye-contact as he awaits a response. 

Damon is stammering now as he finds his cheeks burning bright red, not having expected the sudden contact but not rejecting it either. Once again it just felt right. But the question does leave him momentarily stunned as he thinks back on the evening; was it really a date all along, disguised as merely a platonic hangout between two friends?

Toshiko would say absolutely.

“Ah, I guess the more that I look at it, it was probably a date, yeah,” he mumbles in response. In all honesty everything they did would come across as a date to anyone observing from the outside, and the thought itself even crossed his mind when he initiated the meetup. It was just something he pushed down though, tried to make excuses and justifications for.

Kai grins at this, a mischievous look coming over his face. “I knew that it was a date, heh!” he snickers as his eyes narrow, the grip on his hand tightening. “Especially after what happened with the crepe’s,” he reminds him slyly, sticking a tongue out as if to further tease him.

Asshole.

Damon glares at him. “Don’t you dare bring that up again,” he threatens. But it holds no weight as he tries to bite back a smile; finding it impossible when Kai’s laughing so freely, moving to rest his head on his shoulder as his body shakes from glee.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it after you quite literally apologised for it in that love letter!” Kai laughs, leaning in impossibly closer to him, a quiet sigh escaping his lips. 

Damon rolls his eyes. “I don’t know what I was thinking when that happened–I acted without thinking,” he mumbles quietly, still feeling rather embarrassed about that incident. Yet he subconsciously finds himself resting his own head on the top of Kai’s, a small smile playing on his lips. 

Kai chuckles and he can feel the way his body vibrates beneath him; it’s strangely comforting in a way. “I seriously couldn’t tell how you felt about me at that moment, it was driving me insane!” he whines, a petulant pout on his lips. 

Ah, perhaps Toshiko was right in saying that it sounded like he was leading him on with his actions. 

“I apologise. I was still very much in denial at that moment,” he says quietly, hoping that the other man doesn’t hold it above his head too much.

A comfortable silence washes over them as they sit with one another, simply basking in each other's presence. Damon doesn’t know what he expected when he made the decision to confess his feelings, but he knows one thing for sure; he’s forever grateful that the man sat besides him broke down his barriers, exposed a more vulnerable version of himself and took the time to wait for him to come to terms with his own feelings. 

It wasn’t often he allowed himself to be vulnerable around others. In his life-time he had done anything but that, isolated himself from his peers, blocked potential friendships with his natural argumentative nature and because of it found it rather difficult to open up to others. It wasn’t common that he allowed people to see a side of him that showcased his uncertainty for his future, insecurities and a genuine softness for those he cares about–even if not displayed in the most conventional of ways. 

But Kai Monteago, as annoying, loud, and stubborn as he could be, had successfully managed to do all that and more. Become a person he could consider a true, genuine friend and someone he found himself wanting to spend an abundance of time around. 

It frustrated him at times, drove him insane knowing he had been reduced to what he could only describe as a pathetic man in love. But perhaps it was all worth it if it was with the pink haired man by his side. 

It’s then that Damon’s reminded that despite the confession, the confirmation that his feelings were in fact reciprocated; there was still no label to what their relationship was yet–nothing formal. It was perhaps a silly thing to concern himself with but he couldn’t help it. Suddenly he lifts his head from Kai’s and the other man follows in action, staring at him in confusion. 

“Is everything alright?” Kai asks curiously, cocking his head to the side. 

“I was just curious about something,” he begins, taking a deep breath. “Are we, well, dating now?” he asks, coughing into his hand. It was strange saying those words out loud: dating. A name given to their relationship, something to define their future and the possibilities surrounding it. 

A small, unfiltered gasp escapes Kai’s lip and already he can see tears welling his eyes as he nods, sniffling loudly. A hand comes to wipe them from his already stained cheek and it has Damon wondering just how much he’s made his roommate–no, his boyfriend cry today. 

It felt so weird calling him that but so, so, right at the same time. 

“Yeah, I’d like that,” he stammers, practically bawling as he rubs at his puffy eyes. “I’d really like to date you–to be your boyfriend,” 

Oh. 

Damon gulps, taking a slow breath. “Okay,” he mutters, finding himself subconsciously fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “Yeah, okay–I’d also like that,” he mumbles, licking at his chapped lips, suddenly noticing how dry they were. A fierce blush was making its way up his neck and he tries to hide it, humiliated at just how flustered he was feeling.

It wasn’t working, clearly. 

“I don’t really understand how relationships work,” Damon confesses quietly, feeling he may as well remind the other man just how inexperienced he was, not wanting him to get his hopes up too much–not wanting to disappoint him any further. “I’m going to be completely honest and admit that it's going to take me a while to adjust to everything,” he mumbles quietly. 

Kai listens quietly, nodding at him with calm consideration on his face.

Damon's face hardens. “But I want you to know that I’m serious about this relationship,” he says sternly, narrowing his eyes at the other man. “I’m willing to put the effort in for you, for us,” he continues, voice now barely above a whisper as he stares his boyfriend in the eyes with pure conviction.

“So don’t start thinking that I don’t care about you–because I do, unfortunately,” he says, his lips curving into a teasing smile at the end.

Kai chuckles quietly under his breath. “I understand,” he says gently, showing him a warm smile. “Don’t worry about it though, Damon, because I know just how much you care about me!” he says reassuringly, a nervous look coming over his face. “I’ve never actually had a boyfriend myself, so we’re both in this together, kay?” 

Damon smiles. “Okay,” It’s comforting knowing that he’s not alone in his inexperience; even if Kai was slightly less oblivious than he was when it came to noticing romantic feelings, and making moves for that matter. 

It may be true that he was ultimately the one who confessed, but that was because he was going insane from the anticipation–unable to cope with sitting on his feelings, not knowing what to do with them. It was a mystery to him how the other man was able to sit with them for so long, only making a move every so often and keeping it within a certain boundary so as to not risk ruining their bond. 

Apparently for Damon, Kai was still the one best at making the first move. Even now, that they were dating. (It still felt weird to say that.)

The two are sitting in silence. It’s comfortable, serene and Damon basks in the peace that comes from this post-confession, knowing that he’ll be able to sleep peacefully tonight. It has his shoulders coming to relax, staring down at the carpeted floor beneath him as he reminisces on the day's events; it's a lot to take in, admittedly. 

That is until Kai slips his hand out of his grip–something that leaves him feeling rather lonely for just a split second. No, he doesn’t get to dwell on the loss of touch. It's because Kai uses that same hand to reach out and lift his chin up so he’s facing him, a flustered expression on his face as it travels up to grab his cheek, squishing the skin beneath his fingertips causing him to let out a strained noise. 

Kai then leans over and before he can even process it; is pressing a soft, hesitant kiss to his cheek and then is immediately pulling away and turning around, refusing to look him in the eyes, muttering something incomprehensible under his breath. 

“I-Its payback for the crepe incident the other day!” Kai sputters, hands coming to cover his face as he recovers from the embarrassment. 

Huh? What just happened? Did Kai just–

To say Damon is shocked would be an understatement; rendered speechless yet again at the sudden actions of his now boyfriend. It would come as no surprise to anyone that he’s never been kissed before, making the act all the more startling to him. Subconsciously a hand comes to reach out and touch his cheek, pressing against the area where the kiss had been left. 

It gave him slight Deja-vu when Kai came up to touch his own cheek after he wiped cream off it after the crepe the two had eaten together at the Christmas Market. Only this time the roles were switched; Damon sat flustered as he tried to wire his mind back together, processing a complete and coherent sentence as the other man panics to himself next to him. 

Guess he wasn’t kidding about the payback then, huh?

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now, if I’m being completely honest…”  Kai admits shyly, shifting his feet anxiously, still refusing to meet his eyes. From where he’s sat he can see the blush on the nape of his neck, flushing brightly. “I guess now just felt like the right time, haha!” he laughs nervously, fidgeting idly with one of the rings on his fingers. 

Damon nods, trying to swallow down the lump in his throat. “Yeah, okay,” he chokes out–still struggling to find the right words to express how he feels, failing miserably at keeping his calm as his hand makes no move to leave his cheek. 

“I liked it,” he mumbles quietly, desperately trying to hide his internal turmoil as he forces his voice to sound even though he’s sure it's shaking. If it is, Kai thankfully decides to not comment on it. 

Instead a surprised noise escapes his lips, frustratingly adorable as he turns around to face him; blushing profusely yet there's this shy smile on his face, so genuine, so pure that Damon can’t help but smile back. It will never fail to amaze him just how much influence Kai has on his life, on his behaviour, reducing him to some stupid, sappy mess that he doubts anyone would ever imagine him to be.

“Yeah?” he repeats, and he’s giggling to himself quietly. “That makes me glad, heh,” he says cheerfully, leaning back into his side as a content sigh leaves his lips.

Damon relaxes into the touch, just now allowing himself to reminisce on the events of today–of the past few weeks. It was an undeniable truth that he was grateful; for the patience and understanding of Kai when it came to his lack of experience with relationships and for the more than favourable outcome of his confession. Even if he didn’t quite understand how his letter was all that romantic as it was simply an opportunity to blurt out his feelings onto paper, he’s happy it worked out in the end. 

It meant that the upcoming two week long trip to his parents would be slightly less awkward now that he wouldn’t have to tip-toe around his feelings, pine in secret and try not make it any more obvious than it already was that he was romantically interested. If you didn’t count having to tell his parents first, that was. 

“Should we head to bed now?” Kai asks quietly, hand covering his mouth to stifle a yawn. “I think it's been a long day for the both of us,” 

Damon nods in agreement, just now realising how truly exhausted he was. “Yeah–I think today has left me feeling more fatigued than I have in quite a while,” he grumbles, a hand coming to drag down his face. 

Kai giggles. “I think it's kinda funny how worked up you were to confess to me!” he teases, sticking his tongue out at him. 

Damon stammers, shock evident as he narrows his eyes. “No it’s not?” he answers sternly, giving him a hardened look. 

Kai snickers, head leaning against his shoulder. “It definitely is!” he exclaims loudly, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. “I think it's sorta sweet, too!” he says quietly, batting his eyes at him in an attempt to feign innocence.

Damon scowls at him. “Don’t make fun of me,” he scolds, shaking his head in disbelief. “I’m going to bed, asshole” he huffs as he shrugs the other man off of him, staring down at him impatiently, unable to stop the fond look on his face as he stares at the pout on his boyfriend's face.

“Damon, please don’t leave me alone!” he whines childishly, acting dramatic as if he’s not trying to stifle laughter. 

“I’m getting ready for bed, idiot,” he mumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. “I suggest you do the same,” he orders, raising an eyebrow at him.

Kai sighs in defeat. “Fine!” 

That night as Damon lies awake in bed, listening to the soft snores of his boyfriend in the other room; he falls asleep with no regrets whatsoever. In fact he would say it’s the best he’s slept in a long while. 

It’s the morning after Damon’s confession and immediately upon waking up it feels as if things are different. Nothing has changed, really. Not in the layout of their dorm room or the routine the two found themselves settling into a few months after moving in together–but something has changed.

Damon wakes up first as usual, moving into a sitting position as he lets a yawn escape his lips, reaching around for his glass of water. It’s then that he notices Kai’s sleeping body, a blanket falling to the ground as a hand clutches at his pillow; a sight he sees every day but now feels so different. There’s a relaxed look on his face as he sleeps, lips slightly parted as his cheek is squished into his pillow. 

It was a face he got to see every morning as he’d trudge out of bed and shake the other man away, ignoring any and all whining sounds before threatening to douse a bottle of water over his head if he didn't budge. It always works, somehow. 

But as he continues to watch him sleep, (it's not creepy he swears) observing his soft, quiet breaths and the way his nose would scrunch up every few seconds, something clicks inside of him. It’s the fact he gets to wake up to this sight every day, always has, always will–but now it's as his boyfriend, not just a friend. Soon enough he’ll be waking up to him inside his own house–but that's a problem for another day. 

Shit, he really was in love and it was bad. 

It’ll take some time getting adjusted to being in a relationship–he’s painfully aware of that. There’s a lot to learn over the course of the next few months, about himself, about Kai and how to navigate their partnership. It’s a lot to process but he knows he’ll be fine because he is learning alongside Kai. Also, as much as he hates to admit her advice was genuinely helpful, he knows Toshiko will be one of the first people at his side lest he find himself struggling at any point. 

But it's not just when he wakes up in the morning that he notices things have changed since they started dating. It’s in the evening, too, when he arrives home. 

It’s not long at all until they leave for Christmas break and Damon regrettably decides to get in a last minute cram session, figuring getting ahead and preparing himself for the next semester was a smart thing to do–it was not. It was now late into the evening, the sun having already set and he was admittedly exhausted, wondering why he didn’t just stay in instead and catch up on some light reading.

Checking his phone, he notices that there’s already some unread messages waiting for him from Kai who’s asking how long he’s going to be. Each one more concerned than the next, informing him that he’d make him some tea for when he gets back, followed by a little sticker of a pouty character captioned: ‘hurry up!’

It has Damon smiling warmly as he sends off a quick text confirming that he’ll be back in the next five minutes, and without thinking he quickens his pace, knowing that the other man didn’t like being left alone. It was something he had learnt early on into their friendship when the influencer had gotten sick; turning into a clingy mess that wouldn’t let him leave, not even for a second–afraid he was being abandoned.

At the time he had pushed him away, unable to comprehend why Kai was attached at his hip of all people, not wanting to get too close and contract his illness. In the end he had no choice but to relent and help nurse him back to health. Kai could be extremely stubborn and even more so when he was bedridden with a nasty cold, a petulant look on his face. (Damon had also gotten sick too a few days later, much to his annoyance.)

It doesn’t take very long to arrive back at his dorm and when he enters he’s immediately greeted by the warmth of their room as he takes his shoes off, shrugging off his coat and scarf, hanging them both up. Immediately he feels the exhaustion clinging to him, eyes growing drowsy as his eyes scan the room.

The first thing he notices is that his once cluttered desk, full with discarded papers and pens–has been completely cleared of any mess, of any dust. It’s all been neatly organised into little piles, something he greatly appreciated. It was one thing having a cluttered desk but he felt a little at ease knowing that his desk was at least void of any mess.

As he glances over at his bedside he finds the cup of chamomile tea that he was promised, still steaming. On his pillow sits his nearly finished book, just asking to be picked up. On his covers he finds none other than his boyfriend, Kai, a relaxed expression on his face as he scrolls mindlessly on his phone. 

It’s oddly domestic, coming home to find that his mess has been cleaned and his boyfriend sat on his bed; having prepared him a warm cup of tea as if it was the most normal thing ever. It did feel normal, something he could find himself getting used to. Even though he knew in a few years time they’d be moving out of the dorms, leaving the Academy and going off on their own paths–he finds himself hoping that just maybe he’d be able to move in with Kai some day. 

“Ah, Damon, you’re back!” Kai says happily as he looks up from his phone, dropping it on the sheets. “I was wondering how long you were gonna take,” he whines, puffing up his cheeks in a childish pout. 

“My bad,” he apologises, moving to sit next to the influencer on his bed, allowing himself to stretch his muscles, feeling the tension dissipating, a content sigh escaping his lips. “I forgot to check my phone, is all,” he explains, looking over at the other man apologetically. 

Kai nods and before he knows it, that once pouting face has been replaced by one of teasing, a small smirk forming on his lips as he stares up at him expectedly–waiting for him to say something. 

“What is it?” Damon asks, cocking his head to the side.

Kai smiles innocently. “I cleaned your room today,” he says plainly. 

Damon nods slowly, confused as to what he was getting at. “Ah, yes, thank you for that–I appreciate it,” he replies, giving him a small smile but still not quite understanding why he was staring at him like he knew more than he let on.

Kai laughs, a hand coming to stifle any stray giggles as he hums contently. “I even emptied your bin,”

Damon frowns. “Okay?”

…

Wait. His bin?

‘An abundance of scraps from failed letters find themselves shoved at the very bottom of his bin, silent prayers made that they’ll never be unearthed.’ 

“Shit,” 

Immediately Kai bursts out into a fit of giggles, doubling over as he clutches his stomach. “I’m sorry, Damon!” he apologises loudly, but it doesn’t sound all that convincing when he’s wiping a stray tear from his eye. “I-I didn’t mean to snoop but I couldn't help it after I read just one–” he gasps for air, shooting him an apologetic look. 

Damon exhales loudly, unable to fight the blush from appearing on his cheeks. “I was hoping you’d never find those,” he mumbles, rubbing at his temple. It had never occurred to him that the other man would be emptying his bin, unearthing the one thing he wished he would never see.

“To my dearest love–” Kai begins to recite, seemingly having learnt some of them by heart. 

“Shut up!” Damon yells, moving to slap a hand over Kai’s mouth, muffling his voice. “Not a word,” he demands coldly, eyes narrowing in seriousness. 

Kai whines, shoving his hand off from his mouth. “Ugh, fine!” he pouts, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re no fun, Damon!” he huffs, sticking his tongue out at him.

“I don’t care,” he grumbles, yet unable to stop the corners of his lips curving up into a smile.

It was yet another oddly domestic moment shared between the two, something he never picked up on before. It was nice, he realises; and if light-hearted, banter filled conversations after a stressful day were waiting for him when he got home–well he thinks he can get used to this life.

Once again has Toshiko to thank for that, who didn’t even know about their relationship status yet–having conveniently ignored her all day. But he figures he might as well inform her, after everything she’s done figures she deserves to know.

Toshiko pulls him aside on the last day of class before he even gets the chance to approach her himself. As per usual she’s staring up at him with conviction, eyes sparkling brightly as he practically bounces on her heels; fishing for information. It’s unsurprising at this point, and honestly he doesn’t blame the girl since she’s part of the reason this relationship is even flourishing in the first place. 

Guess she’s all that deserving of her Ultimate Talent, huh?

“Toshiko,” Damon says calmly, leaning back in his chair as he stares up at her with a blank face. It might be true that she supported him in his attempts to confess to his now boyfriend, but that didn’t mean she was undeserving of a little bit of teasing. After all, she’s practically spent the past three weeks of her life poking fun at him at every chance possible–it was about time he got a little bit of actual payback of his own by playing cool.

Toshiko giggles to herself, fluttering her little fan excitedly. “Ah, it’s been so long since we’ve had the opportunity to talk one-on-one like this, Mochi!” she hums, and she’s practically radiating–it’s clear this update on their relationship status means a lot to her. “I assume you understand what I am here for?” she asks, cocking her head to the side. 

Damon nods, biting back a smile. “You’re wondering if I confessed my feelings to Kai, right?” he asks dumbly, raising an eyebrow at her. It was very enjoyable, he has to admit, watching as the younger girl grew more frustrated as the minutes ticked by. 

Toshiko nods enthusiastically. “Uhm, yes!” she exclaims, narrowing her eyes at him. It was clear she was beginning to get impatient with his rather lack-luster responses. 

“I did confess my feelings the other day,” Damon admits, but he offers up no more information. Instead he opts for staring up at his classmate as she gasps offensively, muttering something under her breath. 

It’s not so fun being teased, is it?

Toshiko shakes her head. “I cannot believe you, Mochi–I have been forced to suffer long enough with this slow-burn romance!” she complains, pointing an excusatory finger at him. “I demand you update me immediately!” she says angrily. 

Damon glares at her, deciding to ignore the comment about how slow it took for their romance to progress. It wasn’t exactly his fault, after all. As hilarious as it is watching the Matchmaker demand a response, fighting as he tries to stifle his life; he figures it is only fair to tell her the truth eventually. 

Damon sighs. “Fine,” he relents, watching as her eyes light up brightly once again. “I’m dating Kai now,” he murmurs quietly, deciding to keep his voice low just on the off-chance that someone else heard. It wasn’t exactly public information that they were in a relationship yet, and he wanted to keep things on the low until they were comfortable telling their friends. 

Toshiko squealing loudly at his comment isn’t exactly helping his case though. 

“Shut up!” Damon hisses. “I’ve not really told anyone about this yet–so keep things down,” he urges, taking a deep breath. If this was how people were going to react when he told them about his relationship then consider him out. 

Toshiko whines petulantly but ultimately quiets down, allowing him to relax, even if just for a brief moment. At least she was capable of being respectful of his boundaries as pushy as she was.  

“I apologise, Mochi!” she says, bowing her head in respect before bouncing back up almost immediately. “I don’t think you can really blame me, though, for I have been waiting to hear those words leave your mouth for months!” she gushes brightly, fanning herself dramatically. 

Damon nods. “I know, Toshiko,” he answers calmly. Unfortunately he now knew how much the Ultimate Matchmaker had been observing their relationship, and he wonders if she caught onto their feelings for each other before Kai even realised. It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility, after all she did have a keen eye for this sort of stuff. 

Damon’s not sure how to feel about that exactly.

“Anyway, I could not be happier for you, Mochi!” she praises, her eyes warm and genuine for the briefest of seconds before they immediately turn mischievous once again. “I cannot believe that the Damon Maitsu has been able to successfully romance his true love–all thanks to me!” she observes, fanning herself happily. 

Damon scowls. “I wouldn’t get too cocky, Toshiko,” he warns, rolling his eyes at her attitude. “Anyway, I thought I’d say thank you for the advice, it really helped–I mean it,” he mutters, knowing damn well that this was only working to boost her ego even further. 

Toshiko nods. “I appreciate the gratitude!” she says cheerfully before giving him a knowing look. “I must admit, though, you definitely needed the advice, Mochi,” she says, laughing to herself nervously. 

Damon knows that Toshiko is probably right about desperately needing her advice but that doesn’t stop him from glaring at her disapprovingly. He’d spent far too much time arguing back and forth with her over the past few months to know that engaging in her petty insults was beyond pointless. 

“I was definitely clueless and I am grateful you helped me realise how I felt–this sort of stuff doesn’t come easy to me exactly,” he mutters. “If it wasn’t for you then I would have never known that Kai also had feelings for me; much longer than I have, actually,” he admits, feeling rather humiliated at the thought alone of it. It was something he for one wasn’t all that proud of. 

Toshiko swallows, nodding in agreement. “Yeah, I already discovered that he harboured romantic feelings for you quite a while ago, actually!” she confesses, fanning herself innocently as if she wasn’t just admitting to something that he would have liked to know quite a while ago.

Damon narrows his eyes in disbelief. “If you knew that Kai has had feelings for me that long  then why didn’t you bother him instead about confessing to me–why wait until I realise my feelings?” he asks, a frown on his face as he meets her nervous expression; quiet giggles escaping her lips.

“I figured that it would be more fun to tease you instead, Mochi!” she admits sheepishly, giving a small shrug. 

Seriously? It was all because she enjoyed teasing him and his regrettably oblivious nature. No, he shouldn’t be surprised, actually.

Damon deadpans. “You complained incessantly about our romance taking ‘too long’” he mocks, throwing up air quotes.“But you quite literally delayed the progress yourself by waiting until I realised I was in love–you could have done something much earlier if you wanted to!” he scolds, shaking his head in disbelief. “I cannot believe how crazy you are, Toshiko. 

Toshiko whines loudly. “I beg you to understand, Mochi–” she pleads desperately, but there are tears pricking her eyes and it looks as if she’s on the verge of another giggle fit. Pathetic, really. 

Damon cuts her off before she can swarm him with silly excuses. “No, I'm leaving,” he exclaims, swinging his bag over his shoulder and heading to the door. It was of his best interest to leave the room now lest to dodge any more embarrassment.

As he moves to grab the handle Toshiko has to drop one more question to end of the year.

“Are you going to spend time with your lover now, may I ask?” Toshiko asks hopefully, batting her eyes at him innocently, fishing for even more information on his love life; never satisfied with what she has, evidently. 

Damon doesn’t answer though, and instead opens the door, leaving her to sit with her thoughts as he heads down the corridor. Next year he’d have to deal with her bothersome pestering again–and he’d put up with it, for whatever reason. But for now, he’s looking quite forward to two weeks of peace and quiet. (No he has not given Toshiko his phone number and doesn’t plan on it any time soon.)

Also, he was on his way to meet his boyfriend, actually. So what?

Damon wakes up earlier than usual the day that they are planning to depart to visit his parents. It’s admittedly been a while since he last saw them, only communicating via text messages and the occasional phone call for the past few months–he’s ready to go home. 

As much as he’s been enjoying his time at Eden’s Garden academy he can’t deny missing his parents home cooked meals, much more satisfying than any dinner the cafeteria could provide. Or even his high quality mattress, guaranteeing him a much more cushioned sleep over his hard, low quality one in the dorms.

It’s a trip that Damon looks forward to even more now knowing that he won’t be going alone, that he’ll have the person he cares about above anything else accompanying him and welcoming him into his home. A place where they can both enjoy Christmas, no overriding guilt at making his boyfriend stay at his parents house over the break knowing he’d much rather be anywhere else. 

It’s a comforting thought and he’s all the more thankful for making the choice to ask the question.    

Damon had insisted that they pack a few days prior; making sure to double check everything the night before, much to Kai’s sleepy annoyance. But it was crucial, after all they would not be making any trips back to their dorm room if they forget something–and Damon’s not keen on replacing anything, either.

So he makes sure to lecture Kai the night before, stifling a smile at his petulant pout as he goes over the list of things he needs to pack, double checking that they were actually there. (Unfortunately Kai had a habit of swearing he had everything before leaving to go somewhere and then realising half-way that he had actually been mistaken.)

Damon, as he does most mornings, drags Kai out of bed and rushes him to get ready. Perhaps he’s being a little bit too cautious, but he’s so used to travelling alone and working around his own schedule that having to factor in someone who had a tendency to sleep in made him a little more concerned than usual. 

As they are getting ready to leave Damon finds himself shuffling through his coat pockets, reaching deep within for something causing Kai to look up from where he was scrolling on his phone and raise an eyebrow. 

“Is everything alright?” he questions, moving to see what he was looking for.

“You’re missing something–” Damon grumbles before finding what he’s looking for; a pair of white gloves that he pointedly shoves into the influencers arms. “Here, put them on,” he demands, a stern look on his face as he waits for the other man to take them from him.

Kai pauses. “Huh?” he slowly takes the pair of white gloves from him, fitting them onto his hands. “Thank you, Damon–” he says quietly, feeling the material beneath his gloved fingers before looking up at him. “But why did you give me these all of a sudden?”

Damon sighs, feeling a flush crawling up his cheeks. “You said you lost your other pair a while back,” he mutters quietly, suddenly feeling rather self-conscious. “I know you have a tendency to not wear clothes appropriate for the weather and so I figured I might as well buy you these, since I knew you wouldn’t yourself,” he coughs, trying his hardest to make his words sound like a lecture and less gentle concern for his boyfriend's health. 

It was a little bit of both, really, but Kai didn't need to know that. 

Kai’s eyes light up and he smiles brightly at him–it looks like tears are already beginning to prick at his eyes and Damon has to distance himself from the sight, making his heart soften just a little bit.

“Aw, thank you so much, Damon!” Kai beams, stepping forward to wrap him in a tight hug. That was another thing that he was trying to get used to; physical touch from someone who seemed insistent at clinging to his side at all times as someone who rarely initiated it whatsoever.

It was a learning curve but he was beginning to get used to the sudden affection. Now he was able to predict when Kai was about to move in for a hug or another warm gesture, and it made accepting them slightly easier, and made him more comfortable. 

“It’s alright, no need to thank me,” he answers quietly, awkwardly coming to wrap his arms around Kai, returning it with a small smile, he was still struggling a little bit. “After all, you definitely need to pay more attention to the weather–and dressing appropriately for it,” he scolds again, but there’s no real bite behind his words. 

Kai giggles, pulling away from the hug and stretching his arms. “Yeah, yeah!” he hums, rolling his eyes and deciding to ignore the comment about his tendency to not take care of his health. “Also you could have given those to me as a Christmas present, you know?” he says, moving to grab his bag.

Damon raises an eyebrow. “But you needed them now?” he replies, picking up his own bag and fishing for his keys in his trouser pocket. “Anyway, I’ve gotten you something else for Christmas so it doesn’t matter,” he answers gruffly, the thought of exchanging gifts making his heart flutter for some strange reason.

Kai smiles at him. "I'm so excited to spend Christmas with your family!” he exclaims as they exit their room, locking the door behind before starting the walk outside. “I am a little nervous though,” he admits quietly, taking a deep breath. “Meeting my boyfriend's parents this early on into the relationship is pretty scary, you feel me?!” he laughs, but it's obvious he’s panicking internally. 

Damon frowns. It hadn’t really crossed his mind that he was meeting his parents so early into their relationship–not to mention they didn’t even know the pair were dating yet. After all, it felt like something he should tell them in person instead of over text, as nerve-wracking as that could be. 

There was no doubt in his mind that his mother and father would accept not only Kai with open arms but their relationship as well; and he finds himself cringing internally knowing that they will most likely make some grand deal about the whole thing. It was his first boyfriend, after all. 

Without thinking Damon moves to grab Kai’s free hand, squeezing it in a tight yet reassuring grip–a comforting smile on his lips. It’s his first time properly initiating something like this, and while he feels he should be nervous about it, any doubt in his mind dissipates when he sees Kai smiling warmly back at him, understanding his silent gesture.

“I  can promise you that everything will be fine,” he says sincerely, deciding not to comment when Kai subconsciously leans into his side.

“I know,” Kai whispers, swallowing loudly. “Do you think your parents will like me?” he asks quietly, puffing out his cheeks. 

Damon is positive that his parents will like Kai. In fact he wouldn’t be surprised if they have already done their research on him in their spare time. Considering his title as the Ultimate Influencer they probably already follow his social media accounts and comment under his new posts. It’s a good thing that Kai has amassed such a large following that he wouldn’t even notice if they commented. 

It was like his parents to be overly excited whenever he made new friends, and maybe that was because he didn’t have many growing up, but it could prove to be quite a problem sometimes. Although something tells him he won’t have to worry about that with Kai. 

“I’m certain that they will,” Damon replies, leaving no room for argument. If they didn’t he’d be deeply concerned. 

“Okay,” Kai answers, a soft sigh escaping his lips as they walk towards the taxi parked outside to take them to the train station.

“Are you ready to go?” Damon asks as they stop at the car, nodding at the driver who opens the boot for them to put their suitcases inside. 

“Yeah! I have everything I need,” he hums excitedly, noticeably happier than he was a few minutes ago as he lifts his own suitcase into the boot.

“I’d hope so since I made you check at least three times,” Damon sighs, opening the door and climbing in. If it turns out that they did actually leave something inside he’s going to assume that on the way back home he’ll need to check that they have all of their belongings four times instead of three. 

“Yeah, whatever!” Kai calls out as he climbs into the seat beside him, shutting the door with a click. 

It was still so surreal to think that Kai was going to be spending Christmas with his family, not just as his friend but as his boyfriend. It was sickening to dwell on how much of an effect the influencer has had on him the past few weeks; an almost giddy feeling coming over him at the thought alone of them spending time together during what was such a special holiday to others. 

It was the first time he understood the excitement behind spending time with someone as a couple during the Christmas period. Although he can say with absolute certainty that he will not be engaging in any of the typical, cringe-worthy behaviours that he tends to see in seasonal movies and couples on the streets that lacked any spacial awareness. If that ever happens he wants it to be known that it was not his decision in the slightest–and most likely his parents idea or even worse, Kai’s incessant begging that led to his participation. 

(Damon does not want to talk about how some of his recent actions could come across as extremely cheesy.)

It was enough for him just spending time with Kai, being in the same room as him and knowing that his boyfriend wouldn’t be suffering alone, isolated, at home with his own parents. Damon didn’t always see the need for large, grand gestures of love, sometimes it was just getting to spend time with the people he cares about for him–that’s enough to remind him he’s not alone. 

As they approach the platform their train is departing from, hand-in-hand, they spot a few of their friends in the distance who look to be chatting mindlessly–Diana and  Eva and even Toshiko, much to his dismay. Immediately, Kai is rushing over to the group, calling them out as Damon nearly trips, having to pull his boyfriend back so they both don’t fall. It would be a rather humiliating start to their break, after all. 

Seriously, did this guy have a death wish?! 

Eventually they make their way over to the group who have now turned to face them, having barely escaped getting injured, his grip on Kai’s hand tighter than ever. 

“It’s so nice to see the both of you!” Diana exclaims excitedly, smiling at them as she looks over at them; smile growing noticeably larger once she sees that their hands are intertwined–thankfully she doesn’t say anything about it much to Damon’s appreciation. It wasn’t often that they interacted but he’s grateful that his friend's girlfriend has at least some basic respect.

Eva nods in agreement, giving them a respectful smile. “It’s been a while,” she observes and unlike her girlfriend who decides to ignore their interlocked hands, the mathematician quirks an eyebrow, mouth twitching. 

Toshiko giggles. “It really is wonderful that we have all crossed paths one last time before the winter break!” she says excitedly and he makes sure to throw a glare at her when she gives him a knowing look–a warning not to start anything.

So much for escaping her antics, huh. 

“Yeah, it definitely is!” Kai replies happily, oblivious to the cogs turning in the matchmaker's head as he speaks, subconsciously leaning into his side–something he doesn’t stop. 

Eva notices this and this time fails to hide the smirk on her face as she coughs into her hand. “So, what are your plans for the Christmas break then?” she asks quietly, and it’s obvious she already knows, simply looking for an excuse to further embarrass the pair. 

Damon scowls. “I’m spending the break with my family this year–Kai is joining me as well,” he answers quickly, forcing a smile at his friend. If anyone asked he’d say that the woman had been spending too much time around her cosmetologist girlfriend, becoming quite partial to gossip over the past few months. But who was he to speak.

“Ah, I see,” Eva responds slyly, nodding slowly.

It’s then that Toshiko decides to ruin his entire day, the rest of his year in fact. “I would like it to be known to all that I am partially to credit for this development for I successfully helped Damon and worked to matchmake the pair together!” she boasts loudly, puffing out her chest proudly.

Did that conversation on the last day of class mean nothing to her?! 

“Wait–Toshiko helped you confess to me?” Kai’s confused voice breaks him out of his thoughts and immediately he has heat crawling up his cheeks, a sudden desire to bury himself away coming over him as he hears those words leave his mouth. 

Damon takes a deep breath. “I’m deciding to ignore that question,” he answers, chewing the bottom of his lip as he pretends that he doesn’t feel his boyfriend shaking his shoulders, pointedly turning his head away as if he can’t hear him yelling at him.

He was planning on taking that to the grave with him.

Eva starts laughing. “Congratulations to the both of you for finally making it official,” she says, a warm smile on her face–yet still teasing as he crosses her arms over her chest. “It took you long enough,” 

“Shut up,” Damon snarls. It wasn’t like she could speak, either. It took her now girlfriend quite literally having to spell it out to her before she realised that her feelings were reciprocated; not to mention a little push from Toshiko. 

“I thought the two of you were already dating?” Diana asks innocently, a confused expression plastered across her face.

…

“What?” he says blankly.

Eva and Toshiko both burst out laughing on the spot, doubling over as Diana stares at them with genuine confusion. It seems that she full-heartedly believed they were already in a romantic relationship–and simply assumed they’ve not told anyone yet, for whatever reason. Kai, too, is stifling his own laughter.

“Are you being serious right now?” Damon deadpans, feeling a headache coming on as he listens to the obnoxious laughter beside him. 

It couldn’t have been that obvious that they had feelings for each other, right? Damon was acutely aware that he was more inexperienced than most when it came to relationships. After all it was thanks to a literal fourteen year old that he even realised that his feelings were romantic and no amount of excuses could justify calling his actions platonic. 

But it couldn’t have been so horrendously obvious that someone he didn’t even spend much time with assumed that he was in a relationship with his best friend. It wasn’t even that she had her suspicions; Diana truly believed that they were dating and were just keeping it private from everyone.

Damon would talk about his friendship with others sometimes, notably Eva. It was just small talk, really, comments on their developing relationship after their troubled start. Often he’d make comments about how he found it strange how insistent the influencer was to take care of his needs, especially after how harshly he had spent the past few months treating him. 

Sometimes he’d talk about places that Kai dragged him to over the weekend: pop-up cafes, amusement parks and aquariums, alike. Each time there was a hint of irritation in his tone, not seeming to wrap his head around why the influencer would choose to invite him over instead of anyone else. It wasn’t like he was the sort of person to enjoy these sorts of things, so why? 

It made complete sense to him now. It was more than likely that these invites to spend time together were simply excuses to hang out, reasons to spend time together when Kai couldn’t think of anything else. So even if he knew that Damon wouldn’t exactly enjoy it–he invited him anyway and each time he’d reluctantly agree.

Whenever Eva asked him why he agreed to hang out with him when he could very easily decline, he simply put it down to Kai being hard work. It was true, he was extremely stubborn and before he could even utter words of refusal there were crocodile tears pricking his eyes, his cheeks puffing out like some sort of petulant child. It led to him eventually relenting and agreeing to go out, quiet complaints escaping his lips as he went to grab his shoes. 

Maybe it really was that bad, actually…

It’s then that he hears the train approaching and very quickly makes an excuse to leave, grip on Kai’s hand tightening as he drags him over to the platform so they can get a seat by themselves. If he had to spend the next few hours listening to the teasing comments of his friends about his relationship–he’s sure he’d go insane.

Much to Damon’s relief the ride went without any issues and before he knew it the train was arriving at their platform and they were departing, lugging suitcases of the train before heading towards the exit. It was chilly out and immediately he found himself missing the warmth of the train, a sigh leaving his lips as he’s hit with a wave of cold, icy air. 

“My parents said they’d be arriving a little bit late due to traffic,” he explains as they stop outside the exit, putting his luggage down. He looks up at Kai who’s staring at him expectantly. Once again his eyes are sparkling with excitement–and it warms his heart slightly, knowing that he’s looking forward to spending time with family. 

Kai nods slowly but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he continues to stare at him, as if expecting something–like he wants to do something but isn’t sure if it’s the right decision, if he’s allowed to. His hands are clenched into fists and it looks as if he’s breathing heavily, a nervous look plastered over his face as he gives him a half-smile. 

Damon frowns. “Is everything okay?” he asks, scanning his boyfriends face to see if he was displaying any symptoms of being ill. It would be a bad thing if he suddenly developed a cold, or worse, a stomach bug right before meeting his parents. 

“Yeah, I just–” Kai squeaks out and he notices that the other's face is flushing bright red; the tips of his ears are burning as he stares at the ground. “Uhm..” 

Damon is seriously concerned now. “Are you still feeling nervous about meeting my parents?” he questions, trying to get a read on his expression as he watches the other man step closer to him, hands shaking as he looks up at him with baited breath. “I already told you that–” 

Damon doesn’t get to finish his sentence because before he can Kai is closing the distance between them; pressing a small, tentative kiss to his lips before immediately pulling away and turning away from him, hands coming to cover his face. 

Huh. 

It’s only for a split-second that his lips are pressed against his but it feels like a lifetime–an eternity of bliss as he hears his ears ringing; unable to process the soft, sweet taste on his lips. It tastes a lot like strawberry and he selfishly realises that he wants more. 

It doesn’t matter that he can hear his parents car pulling up; can hear the door opening as they call out his name. None of it matters when all he can focus on is his pink haired boyfriend who isn’t facing him–muttering something incomprehensible into his hands like he’s just made the biggest mistake of his life.

I can’t see his face. 

“Turn around,” Damon demands.

“H-huh?!” Kai squeaks out, glancing over at him with flushed cheeks. 

“I said–I said turn around, you idiot!” he stammers, feeling the confidence he was just invigorated with leaving as the seconds pass, suddenly feeling rather nervous about what he’s about to do–but he knows he needs to do this.  

Kai does as he’s told, turning around to face him and he doesn’t give the chance to say anything before he’s closing the distance between them once again; cupping his cheeks as he presses his lips against his boyfriends–savouring that sweet strawberry taste before pulling away and letting out a shaky breath. 

It was messy. It definitely wasn’t perfect and he absolutely feels that his legs are about to give out before him but he finds himself not caring all that much. Not when he gets the privilege of burning Kai’s love-struck face into his mind forever; his widened eyes and beautiful flushed cheeks–lips slightly parted as he tries to find the words to explain what just happened. 

Even if he did feel seconds away from throwing up, face burning and hands shaking like never before. Seriously, where did that sudden burst of confidence come from and why was it now gone?

“Damon–” Kai calls out, his voice trembling.

“Shut up,” Damon orders, coughing into his hand, that initial wave of confidence having left his soul, replaced by a wave of embarrassment that he finds hard to ignore. As enjoyable as it had been getting to initiate something like for once, it was completely out of character, and he finds himself struggling to process why, or how he even willed his body to do something like that.

“Oh my goodness!”

Shit. 

Damon might have forgotten about his parents standing right behind them.