Chapter Text
Zane stared at the place Cole had just been before he disappeared from view. He felt mortified. Why had he done that? Cole was going to hate him and probably tell the rest of the ninja and now they would all hate him too.
But he kissed me back. He did. Cole did kiss him back. Then he jumped up, apologized, and ran off. Why did he apologize? He didn't kiss Zane, Zane kissed him. Maybe Zane had read the signals wrong. Maybe Cole didn't like him like that. Maybe Cole wasn't like that.
He dropped his head into his hands, nails scrapping his skin. It would probably leave scratches that would never heal. They would never heal because he didn't have real skin. He was a machine. Why would Cole ever love a machine?
The hall was dark, the only light coming from under the living room door. He could hear footsteps from within. He didn't know if it was Cole. Even if it wasn't, he wasn't going to go in. He didn't want anyone to see him. Zane wasn't sure if he had his own bedroom or if he shared with the other ninja so he went into the room he had first woken up in. The only light in the room came from the computer. It was filled with code but it flickered back to PIXAL's face as he sat down on the cot.
"Zane, I didn't expect you to come back here."
"I didn't know where else to go." She must have noticed something was off because she looked at him with concern.
"Are you alright?"
"I am fine," His voice came out colder then he had meant but he couldn't bring himself to care too much. "I'm just tired."
"Okay." He laid down on the cot and willed his mind to shut off.
"Zane?"
"Yeah?"
"I am here for you."
"Thank you, PIXAL."
⋆⁺₊❅.
Cole stared at the ceiling above his bed, listening to the deep breathing of the other ninja as they slept. His mind wouldn't give him the satisfaction of shutting off so he was stuck there, replaying the kiss over and over in his head. Zane's bed was empty, which was to be expected. If Cole was Zane, he wouldn't want to see him either. Though, Cole wasn't 100% sure that Zane even knew where their bedroom was.
While he laid there he started to draft apologies in his head but he couldn't find the right words that would make it all better. Cole doubted there were any words that would be good enough.
As the sun started to peak through the curtains, Cole accepted his fate and slipped quietly from the room. Everyone else was still asleep, leaving the hallway quiet. The silence was disrupted by Coles stomach rumbling. He entered the kitchen, looking for a quick snack, but it wasn't empty. Standing over the stove was Zane, pink apron tied around his waist. Cole froze in the doorway, panic flooding his veins. He took a step back, attempting to leave the room before Zane noticed him but he was too late.
Zane turned and his eyes widened slightly before turning back to the stove, pushing scrambled eggs around in the pan. Cole shifted anxiously foot to foot. He didn't know if he should just leave or try and talk to Zane, to try and apologize. He chose the latter.
"Zane, can we talk?" Zane didn't look up but he nodded. Cole walked in, closing the door behind him and leaning on the table.
"I'm… I'm sorry." Zane looked up at Cole sharply, as if he hadn't expected Cole to apologize.
"You're sorry?" Zane raised an eyebrow, looking at Cole like he had two heads.
"Yeah, Im sorry. It was wrong for me to kiss you."
"But Cole, you didn't kiss me. I kissed you."
"I made you think you wanted to kiss me."
"Cole, I wanted to kiss you." Zane was looked at him with so sincerely that Cole almost believed him. Almost.
"You didn't," Cole exclaimed, "I took advantage of you. You have no memories and I took advantage of that." Zane's expression hardened and he gripped the spatula harder.
"Stop telling me that what I did wasn't my decision. I chose to kiss you. I wanted to kiss you. You keep treating me like I am not me, just because I am missing my memories. I'm still Zane."
"But you aren't my Zane." As soon as the words left coles mouth he knew it was the worst thing he could have said and Zane's face proved that. His eyes turned glassy and he looked back to the stove, jaw clenched.
"Zane I-" He was interrupted by the kitchen door opening.
"Oh hey Zane, Cole." Jay said happily, "You making breakfast?" Zane nodded and jay skipped in, unaware of the tension between the other two ninja. He jumped on to the table, kicking his legs as they dangled off the side.
"Im surprised you were up this early, Cole. Usually you and Kai sleep super late." Cole shrugged, not trusting himself to speak. He kept stealing glances at Zane as he cooked. The other boy refused to look at him.
After a while the rest of the ninja joined, taking their seats around the table. Zane set dishes filled with food on the table and everyone started eating. Cole watched as Zane sat, no plate in front of him, due to his inability to eat. He was looking down, idly fighting with his fingers as the conversation moved around the table. Cole tried to participate, acting like everything was normal. He didn't think he could stand someone asking him if he was alright.
"Zane I have good news." Nya piped up from where she was seated across from Cole. Zane's head jerked up, looking at her and Cole couldn't stop his traitorous mind from thinking, please, just look at me.
"What is the news?"Zane's voice very was even, unbothered. Cole was almost envious at how well he could hide his emotions.
"Pix and I uncorrupted the file, after breakfast I'll re upload it into your hard drive." Zane's face positively lit up at that, looking happier then Cole has seen him since he came back.
"That's amazing news, Nya!" Lloyd said, from where he sat next to Cole.
"I knew you could do it." Jay said, fluttering his eyelashes at her an making her scoff and turn away to hide a blush.
The rest of the breakfast went along like that. Jay kept trying to flirt with Nya, with Kai threatening to set him on fire every time he did. Cole tried to follow along, trying to prevent his eyes from looking back at Zane. It was as though Zane was metal (which, cole supposed he was) and cole was a magnet, constantly drawn to the other boy.
As soon as Nya had finished eating, Zane jumped to his feet, "Can we do it now?" She nodded and they exited the room together. Cole stared at the place Zane had just disappeared from view from, heart sinking. Its not that he didn't want his friend to get his memory back, but he knew that if anything it would make it worse. If he was lucky things would stay the same as they were right now, with Zane being unable to meet his eye, but his luck was never something he could count on. He wouldn't be surprised if as soon as his memories returned he would tell Nya what Cole did, then Nya would tell Kai, who would tell Jay, who would tell Lloyd, and they would all hate him for it.
A nudge on his shoulder pulled him from his thoughts. He turned, seeing Lloyd peer at him with his bright green eyes, face etched with concern.
"Are you alright?" He whispered as to not draw the other two ninjas attention to Cole. He tried to keep his face blank, giving Lloyd what he hoped was a warm smile.
"Yeah Im alright, just a bit tired. Im going to go relax on the deck." He excused himself, quickly making his way out of the room, before Lloyd could call his bluff.
The warm air hit him as he stepped onto the deck, but he couldn't feel it. All he felt was ice run like blood through his veins as he stared at the place him and Zane had sat the night before. Where it had happened.
He stepped over the spot, sitting cross legged on the floor by the head of the ship. He let the wind run through his hair, pushing it back from his face. He felt raw, as though every part of him was on display. Every deep, selfish thought and feeling that he had hidden for so long was just floating at the surface where anyone, who so much as glanced at him, could see.
Cole wasn't sure how long he sat there for, willing his eyes to stop watering, when the sound of a door opening had him whirling around. His eyes met blue ones and he jumped to his feet. Zane stood in the doorway, hands pulling at the bottom of his sweater.
"Hi Cole." Cole didn't respond, only continuing to stare at Zane. He didn't seem to expect Cole to say anything. Zane walked towards him, steps light. He stopped about two feet from Cole.
"I got my memory back." He stated, looking down.
"That's-" Cole swallowed hard, "That's good." Zane nodded, a small smile playing at his lips.
"Now I know for sure that I want to do this." Before Cole could respond, Zane closed the distance between them, hands cupping Coles cheeks as he placed his lips against his.
Cole all about melted into Zane, hands falling to his waist, gripping hard.One of Zane's hand slid from his cheek, making its way to the back of Cole's head, fisting his hair. After a while, they pulled apart, foreheads resting against each others.
"Zane I-" But Zane only shook his head, cutting him off.
"Are we okay?" Cole watched Zane's face tentatively, trying to gauge the other boys reaction but Zane only gave him a warm smile that made his cheeks heat up.
"Cole, can I tell you something?"
"Anything." Zane took a step back, hands moving to Coles shoulders. "I am in love with you, I have been since the moment I met you. I know that there is a chance that you dont feel the same but-"
"I love you too." Cole let out a wet chuckle, already feeling tears form in his eyes. "Zane I have loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. You were like my other half and when I lost you I felt empty as though someone had ripped my heart out of my chest. But now you're back and I couldn't be happier."
Zane looked at him and Cole saw it, in his eyes. He saw all the love that Zane felt for him and he knew he looked at Zane the same way.