Chapter Text
A house made of cards, and us, inside
Even though the end is visible
Even if it’s going to collapse soon
A house made of cards, we’re like idiots
Even if it’s a vain dream, stay like this a little more
Blood. So red, so wet, so sticky. It was everywhere. How Jin hated the color, the texture, the smell, the augury; how Jin hated anything remotely associated with blood. As a child, Jin always thought blood equals pain. Every time he saw the red pigment on his skin, it’s generally followed by a highly uncomfortable physical irritation. As a medical student, Jin figured blood equals saving lives. Eventually, for him, blood came to symbolize the Grim Reaper. Every time Jin saw ichor, it usually belonged to the lifeless body of someone he cherishes dearly. First, it was his parents. Then, it was his little princess. And now, who was it going to be this time? Jin looked up and saw Yoongi. His sweet, tsundere fungus had red, blotchy eyes, dry tear trails on his cheeks and his lips quivered when his glassy eyes met Jin’s. If Yoongi had the energy to cry, then it certainly wasn’t his blood that Jin saw and for that tiny little fact, Jin was glad. But still looking at Yoongi cry didn’t sit well with Jin. Jin wanted to wipe Yoongi’s tears away but his hand felt so heavy, he couldn’t. He wanted to give Yoongi a reassuring smile but he felt so sleepy and his body decided a mutiny against him. A flash of purple blinded Jin’s vision. He blinked. It took him a moment to realize it was hair that he was staring at. Purple hair. “What a way to galvanize.” Dude with purple hair was doing something to Jin; something that was ticklish and with a growing cognizance that he couldn’t feel his lower extremities. Jin tried wriggling his toes, but since he couldn’t feel anything, he had no idea if his toes moved. Jin tried to calm his panicking heart. “What in the world was happening to him?” There was that ticklish sensation again; he knew it had to do with Purple Hair (Jin had a vague suspicion that it was Namjoon but he had no way of confirming that at the moment) and as much as his body protested, Jin forced his stiff neck downwards and finally managed to answer the million dollar question. It was his blood. Jin was the one that was dying. Never would have Kim Seokjin ever been able to predict what a ridiculous tragic love story his life would end up being. Maybe he was one of those created for the sole purpose of entertaining the Creator. Seokjin hoped he had given a splendid performance. His white shirt seems to be more red then white. That wasn’t a good sign. Purple hair seemed to actually be trying his hardest to save him. “Do you not know that I can steal your boy away if I so wish? You sure saving me is wise?” Jin thought, amused. Jin didn’t dare look at Yoongi. After all, what could he possibly say that won’t earn him a punch to the face? Given his current condition, even a light flick of the finger would hurt like hell. But more than that, Jin could not possibly tell Yoongi his feelings, could he? Feelings he had masterfully hidden all this while, feelings he had denied, feelings that he had claimed to have long forgotten; what use is a dying man’s confession to the one left behind? No matter how this story ends, Yoongi was going to be miserable. Jin could only hope to at least provide some sort of comfort before his time runs out. For now, that would be a smile. And fuck, even contracting those 36 facial muscles to form a u-shape on his face, hurts like hell. Yoongi didn’t return the smile. Damn you, kid.
Blood. So red, so wet, so sticky. Namjoon wasn't particularly fond of it. Every time he saw it, it only made his work more troublesome and if ever it stains his shirt, it most definitely will leave behind a mark. The more blood involved in a case, the more paperwork Namjoon is forced to file; long hours and cold coffee and greasy take outs in an over stuffy dim cubicle is not how Namjoon likes spending his nights. It isn't always that Namjoon comes across blood that is still fresh, still so full of life, dripping from a body that's warm and alive. His immediate response is to help, however the devil on his shoulder rather let the only other person who holds the key to Yoongi's heart die. But Namjoon couldn't, wouldn't allow another to hurt in front of him. He was the kind of man that would hold an umbrella over a shivering puppy on a rainy day, give candies to small children to stop them from crying, listening to old grumpy people complain about the world without snapping at them, and definitely the first to run to help a man in need. He looked at Yoongi, who was holding Jin's hand with one and the other on Jin's abdomen, putting as much pressure as he can to temporarily stop the bleeding. Yoongi's face was blanched; if ever that was possible, his eyes bloodshot and stricken. Namjoon was reminded of a very sick vampire, one close to dying from hunger. If ever in this mundane life, Namjoon wanted to excel in something - it was to protect Min Yoongi from the world; especially pain. Right now, the only way Namjoon could do that was to save the man before him. Namjoon was secretly thankful that he paid attention during first aid class during his time in the academy while Yoongi sat at the back, sleeping. But with the lack of equipment around, there was only so much he could do; but Namjoon wasn't known for giving up and he had no intention of letting Jin die on his watch. Looking at Kim Seokjin up close for the very first time, Namjoon was taken aback by how beautiful the man really was, almost angel-like. White skin, pretty pink lips, gentle big brown eyes, and soft baby brown hair. "How could one still manage to look so good after losing this much blood? No wonder Yoongi could never get over you." Namjoon always thought that he was never good enough for Yoongi and looking at Jin, it didn't help his already plummeting self esteem. Regardless of who Yoongi ends up choosing, Namjoon would gladly accept his decision as long as Yoongi is happy, although being chosen over perfection was something that Namjoon secretly hoped for. "Baby J, you okay?" Yoongi hiccuped, startling Namjoon from his reverie. Namjoon always figured that hell would freeze over before he could even remotely associate Yoongi and the word cute together, but listening to his soft voice, deep due to his running nose, his eyes magnified by unshed tears, face red - tomato fairy. "At least that's an upgrade from malnourished vampire." Namjoon smiled and nodded, fingers caressing Yoongi's hair. Jin's bloody hacked up coughing fit effectively ruined any progress of intimacy between both cops. Namjoon gingerly lifted up Jin's shirt, inspecting his wound. It was a clean entry point slightly below his left ribcage with no exit wound, meaning the bullet was still somewhere inside. His breathing wasn’t really affected, so Namjoon felt it was safe to rule out thorax related injuries. With the amount of blood painting Seokjin’s body, Namjoon guessed a vein was hit. But most troubling of all was Jin’s loss of feeling in his lower extremities. Namjoon hoped it was due to blood loss and not from having the bullet embedded in his spine. Regardless, Namjoon’s objective right now was to stop Jin’s bleeding and prevent him going into shock. He quickly removed Jin’s belt and undid the button of his pants and collar, giving room for circulation and comfort. “Baby, do you have alcohol?”Namjoon asked, voice urgent. “Only soju, is that okay?” Yoongi replied, already handing Namjoon the bottle. “I guess it will do.” Namjoon replied, quickly removing his shirt, tearing them into strips and soaking them with the alcohol before gently wrapping the make-shift bandage across Jin’s body. “This is all I can do, baby. We need to get him to the hospital immediately. The longer we deny him medical attention, the more danger his life would be in.” “I know, Joonie. I know.”
Blood. So red, so wet, so sticky. It was the first thing Yoongi saw on the floor as he dragged Jin into the haunted house after he heard the gunshot. At first he dismissed it as part of the props but deep down, he knew it wasn’t and for the first time, he wished his gut feelings were wrong. But like so many of his wishes, this didn’t come true either. Jin’s finger slipped out of Yoongi’s and when he turned around, Jin was against the wall, barely able to keep himself upright, clutching his stomach. “Damn, this feels like a really bad tummy ache. Did you get me spoilt cotton candy, boy?” Jin asked, face wincing with every word. “Yes, cause food poisoning makes running away that much easier and you should shut up if it hurts so much.” “Fungus…” “Shut up, Jin. We gotta keep moving if you wanna get out of here.” Yoongi flung Jin’s arm across his shoulder and slipped his own around Jin’s waist, gently tugging him along; all the while forcing unwanted thoughts from invading his mind, refusing to believe that after tonight, some things might never be the same again. Blood. Yoongi never gave much thought to it before. It was always just another shade of red to him. It held no meaning, it held no value. It didn’t invoke any reaction or emotion from him when he saw people covered in it. After all, your survival as a cop depends mainly on how well you detach yourself from the human aspect of emotions, always keeping an objective outlook – almost like a robot. But now, Yoongi wished that blood really did hold no meaning. That having it outside your body didn’t indicate fatality. Regardless weather it was outside or inside the body – didn’t make a difference. But more than anything, he wished it was he who was bleeding and not Jin. “Fungus, I’m really tired. Can we rest?” “We need to get out of here. Can you walk a bit more?” “There is no way out, Yoongi. We are surrounded. But till you do find a way out, I want to rest.” “Why are you always such a hard head, Jin?” “Isn’t that one of my redeeming qualities that got you to fall in love with me in the first place?” “Yeah, it was.” Yoongi helped Jin towards the execution platform. Oh, the irony. “I have a confession to make.” Jin said as Yoongi prepped him comfortably against the wooden guillotine. “Can’t this wait till we are out of this mess?” “I need you to hear it from me first in case we don’t make it out, Yoongi.” “Wow, thank you for the vote of confidence.” “Are you going to listen to me or not?” “Fine, what is it?” “Kim Minji’s body is buried under my rose bushes behind my house.” “What-“ “Do not interrupt me, fungus. For some strange reason, it’s getting harder for me to talk. Just listen. I did not kill her. Lee Song Woo did. That’s why I killed him. He took away my one sole reason for living away from me.” This was not the confession Yoongi expected. Hell, this was actually a whole new case entirely and even if Yoongi managed to prove Lee Songwoo’s guilt, it would not help Jin in anyway. Honestly, he didn’t want to think of a new case right now. He had to check the extent of damage inflicted by the gunshot wound, he had to save Jin, he had to figure out a back up escape plan, he had to save Jin, he had to build a barricade to prevent cops from spilling in, he had to save Jin; Yoongi knew he had to do a million things but his brain refused to cooperate. All he could do was sit in front of Jin, hold his hand and pray to a God that Yoongi never had faith in.
“I don’t want to be saved. It’s too late anyway.”
“What are you talking about? It’s not too late! The ambulance can get here real fast since the hospital is nearby.”
“And then what? Life in prison? How can I look forward to that when you have shown me something much better, Yoongi?”
“One step at a time, Jin. Live and I will find a way to save you.”
“I can already feel the end is near. Will you believe me if I tell you that I can see the other end of the tunnel?”
“I’ll consider you insane. Please, let me help you.”
“Instead of wasting time, do you think you could grant me my final wish?”
“Why don’t you ever listen to me?”
“Because I’m headstrong and seriously, what fun can you get from being obedient? Will you grant my final wish? Clock is ticking, fungus.”
“What do you want?”
“Sing me that song.”
The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried.
“Namjoon?”
“Yes?”
“Take care of him for me.”
“I will.”
“I know he looks like he can handle himself, but sometimes he freezes when things get too overwhelming.”
“I know. Don’t worry about him. He’s in good hands.”
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
“Did you know I was jealous of you?”
“Why?”
“Because Yoongi never called me Baby J before.”
“You were jealous because you didn’t have a nickname?”
“I was jealous because I realized how much I missed out on.”
I'll always love you and make you happy,
If you will only say the same.
But if you leave me and love another,
You'll regret it all some day:
“You know he loves you right, Joonie?”
“I think he loves you more.”
“No, he doesn’t. After all, he didn’t run away with me, did he?”
“The way he looks at you…”
“Is the look of regret, not love. He’s just looking for closure, one that I never gave him.”
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
“Jin, I still think he would be happier with you.”
“Do not be deceived with what you can only perceive with your eyes.”
“What do you mean?”
“Have more confidence in yourself, your love, your man. You are good enough for him. Yoongi isn’t someone who settles for anyone. You are special, Namjoon.”
You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between.
But now you've left me and love another;
You have shattered all of my dreams:
“Will you guys be adopting?”
“I would really love to but I do not know if the law would allow it.”
“Well, fight for it. Parents are parents regardless of their sexuality. If given a choice, would you mind if I was born as your child?”
“I think I would actually prefer that.”
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
“I used to always worry about Yoongi, you know.”
“You mean, after you broke up with him?”
“Yes. I figured he would grow a beard and end up as a drunkard.”
“How very vain of you.”
“Haha, maybe. I guess I just wanted to feel irreplaceable? It’s an intoxicating feeling, truly.”
“You don’t worry about him now?”
“Nope, since he has you. I used to wonder what kind of guy you were, but now that I know, I can rest easy.”
“What kind of guy do you think I am?”
“A sweetheart. You remind me of my younger self. That’s a compliment by the way.”
“I shall accept it as such then.”
In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me
When I awake my poor heart pains.
So when you come back and make me happy
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame.
“Fungus, thank you.”
“What for? No matter what I do, I won’t be able to save you.”
“Thank you for giving me two nights of pure bliss. For the first time, in a long time, I laughed genuinely and had no mask on. I was free and I actually felt glad to be alive.”
“And now you are choosing death? Why?”
“I’m already a dead man walking. I merely chose what I would do with my remaining time.”
“Don’t leave me, not again, not like this.”
“We do not get to choose how we come to this world nor how we will go out. All that matters is what we do in between. I made my choices based on the cards I have been dealt with and now I shall lie on the bed I have made. If it makes you feel any better, the only thing I have ever regretted was how I broke up with you. I could have handled it better, but I didn’t. We were never meant to be, fungus. You and that dimpled boyfriend of yours, that’s a match made in heaven.”
“You are lying.”
“About?”
“Your feelings for me.”
“Maybe or maybe not. Funny thing is, you will never know.”
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
Jin gently caressed Yoongi’s cheeks and smiled. “I’m glad that I met you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. Well, after Kim Minji. I’m sorry for everything. Stay happy, fungus.” And closed his eyes, hands falling to the ground. Namjoon had to restrain a wailing man, clutching the lifeless body of another. Min Yoongi was never the same again.
~1 month later. Kim Seokjin’s gravesite.~
The warm breeze blew the sakura petals into the air, showering on Min Yoongi as he slowly made his way to the Kim family headstone. He didn’t want to come but his feet wouldn’t stop moving, wouldn’t turn the other way round. After the incident, Yoongi worked like a robot, shutting off all feelings; even from Namjoon. He just needed time to get it out of his system, like he always does. Namjoon helped Yoongi handle the formalities and dozens of report that he needed to fill in about his disappearance. Yoongi wanted to confess but Namjoon wouldn’t have any of it. Yoongi felt like it didn’t make a difference, so he didn’t fight back. He had been avoiding this particular place like the plague, procrastinating on the idea of paying his final respects. Depp down, he knew that action would solidify the reality he was forced to face. No more wishing that every phone call was Jin telling him that he pulled off a Sherlock Holmes’ stunt or every time he opened the door, a smiling Jin would laugh at him for being so gullible. Of all things, how could the great Kim Seokjin die? That’s a ridiculous notion.
“You come here often, officer?” Yoongi looked up at the man standing beside him. “No sir. It reminds me of my shortcomings. So I avoid it if I could. Is visiting a gravesite an offense now?” The Chief patted Yoongi on the back and replied, “Of course not. The first step to greatness is acknowledging your shortcomings, Yoongi. It’s just that I received an anonymous tip about your involvement in the Kim Seokjin case. Kim Minji, that is his niece, yes? Her body was found in the garden at the back of his house. Did you know that the official autopsy report states that she died of asphyxia due to strangulation and the only prints found on her was Seokjin’s?” “Your point, sir?” “Maybe sometimes emotions clouds our judgment and you fail to see the most obvious of truths.” “Maybe. Or sometimes, you just choose to rely on the most convenient of lies to make your job easier. You didn’t just come to talk, did you?” “I see that trying to reason with you will get us nowhere. Very well then. It pains me to do this but Officer Min Yoongi, you are under arrest for being an accomplice to the criminal, Kim Seokjin and being the mastermind behind his breakout.” “That sounds about right and chief, tell Namjoon I said thank you.”
“You sure about this?” the deputy asked. Namjoon didn’t immediately reply. He watched Min Yoongi escorted to the police car and felt as if a stake had pierced his heart. How could he do this? “I do not know, sir. All I knew was that I had to do something. He was walking down a dangerous path.” “You should have gotten him psychiatric help, not snitch on him to the cops.” “You are the deputy, yes? You sure you are allowed to give out such advice? I don’t think that would have helped. He was looking for a way to atone for what he considered were sins. Maybe he thought it was the only way for redemption. So, I gave him a way.” “Do you think he knows it was you?” “Of course he does. No one else witnessed it.” “Do you think he will forgive you?” “Honestly, I don’t know but it doesn’t matter. I will wait for him to come back to me.”