RANT (read with caution if your sensitive to sensitive subjects):
So basically, last year I lost my best friend, then about 2 months ago, I lost my dog. Now my grandma is doing very bad and she’s most likely going to die soon. Because of all the death, my SH urges have come back (I’ve been clean for over 2 1/2 year) and I have debated kms multiple times. On top of that. One of my other best friends is actively trying to kill them selves and I have quite bitterly had to clean up their blood and take away the base in my school bathroom after the cut themselves. I now carry gauze in my school backpack. I’m constently worried they’re going to kill themselves while I’m not by them. I’ve had to talk them out of suicide multiple times because their parents think that it’s easier to dump their suicide 17 year old on a 16 year old. And while I get that they probably do need help, it also gets to a point when I have to do it all. I have another friend who sends me messages all the time about how he thinks no one care and he’d be better off dead. I am so thankful that he is coming to me instead of no one, but I am currently holding so many of my friends up and have no one to go too. On top of all that, my chronic pain has been acting up, mean that it’s hard for me to walk. And pain med have no effect whatsoever. Also I got my wisdom teeth pulled today and the pain meds are also not helping.
RANT OVER
thank yall for reading this fic so far, and hope you enjoyed it. I will hopefully get a new chapter soon :)
