Chapter Text
Victoria's foot taps up and down and up and down as she sits in the park across from The Pitt. It's the same spot that she saw Robby and Abbot sitting at the end of her first day. Her first day at PTMC, her first MCI, the first time she ever drank.
She experienced a lot of firsts that day.
She'll never forget how quiet it was that night. How you wouldn't have even known something had happened if you hadn't read the news. How if she just erased those four hours from her memory, it would be have been like nothing ever happened.
Not that she could ever forget that. Ever
It feels wrong, but she'll never forget about how proud she was of herself that day. Of how she was able to save so many lives and help so many people. Of how - at the time - she thought she had been able to show her mom that she did belong in the ED. How thrilling it had been when Mateo complimented her, in front of her mother.
It's fucked up, but she'll always treasure those memories.
Right now, it's even quieter than that night. It's a warm July afternoon, nearing the end of Santos' shift. Victoria's dressed down, casual in a pair of denim shorts and a simple grey Lulu shirt, her light jacket tied around her waist the temperature drops before she get shome. She's pretty sure it's the first time she's been wearing normal clothes near PTMC since she started there.
It feels a little weird. Forbidden, almost. Like she's doing something wrong.
She almost texted Trinity to call it off earlier. She slept in, and probably would have kept sleeping if her mom hadn't knocked on her door at nine in the morning, demanding she wake up. To wake up, come downstairs for breakfast, and to be greeted by a medical textbook turned to the page on sigmoid colon volvulus.
Which isn't the problem. Victoria knows what a sigmoid volvulus is. She just got…she got overwhelmed by everything. By going analog, by not knowing who was doing what, and how everything was flowing from point A to point B to point C to point D. She would have caught it if she had known. And now she does.
That's not good enough though. The only way she'd be good enough is if she went back in time and made sure it never happened. Which she can't do. Obviously.
Nothing she does is good enough.
So she eats her breakfast while browsing her Tiktok, only to go straight into a three hour study session on various colon related surgical procedures and how to best treat them. How to best treat them in surgery.
Victoria doesn't have the courage to ask her mom what she thinks of emergency psychiatry. Not today.
Between time spent studying, her mind wanders. It wanders to thoughts about McKay and Santos and why she's here and what she needs to talk to Santos about. That she maybe - maybe - isn't straight and maybe - maybe - has a bit of a crush on the hot older woman who's been her unofficial mentor.
God, it's all so fucked up.
It's hard not to think about, honestly. About how her heart does a happy little drum in her chest when she thinks of Cassie McKay. Of how Cassie tells Victoria 'good job', always. From stitching up a finger lac, to complementing the way that she talked to a patient.
Cassie sees Victoria. Not just as a child prodigy, but as a person. She sees when Victoria gets stressed and she steps in when Victoria needs help or when she's spiraling. She chuckles at her jokes and makes Victoria laugh in turn, and she stands by Victoria's side when she's being grilled by her mom. Or by Doctor Robby.
She does things that Victoria thinks a partner would do.
She does all those things, and she looks at Victoria with something in her eyes that the younger woman can't even begin to understand. Something more. Something that isn't in Samira's eyes, or Dana's, or Princess' or Whitaker's or anyone else's. There's something and it's combined with the something that Victoria knows she's feeling but can't quite put her finger on.
She's got a lot more rattling around in her brain, but she's pulled out of her thoughts and the tones of Sabrina Carpenter emanating her earbuds - turned down low so she can think - by the dinging of her texts.
July 6th 2026, 7:08 PM
Santos (Work)
Yo Crash
I just finished charting (hell yeah) if u wanna pop over
Doing rounds with Ellis and the new girl then I'll catch ya
Victoria Javadi
Wow you actually finished ur charting
I'll be right in!
Probably be either at the nurses station or with Chantana out front
Santos (Work)
The fuck is a Chantana?
Victoria rolls her eyes, not deigning that with a response. She stretches her arms overhead with a groan, wincing a little at the strain before she turns and makes her way inside. It's weird, walking in here without a shift. It's probably the first time since she started working here - she's obviously been with her parents before - and it throws her for a loop.
Her body is thrumming with energy, like it thinks she's supposed to be working. It's electrifying. It's one of the reasons Victoria doesn't think she'd be able to give up on the ED completely.
Chantana isn't working, and Victoria can't help her pout. She's nice, and even if they don't work together all that often, Victoria always tries to make time for a little chat during the transition from day to night. Right now though, Victoria doesn't recognize the lady behind the glass, so she just gives her a smile and waves her badge as she makes her way through chairs.
It's only three quarters full today. Not too bad.
That's coupled with the fact that when she steps into the Pitt, it's relatively….well it's not peaceful, but it's not busy either. Victoria can see how Santos finished her charting already.
She does a quick scan and spies Santos doing her rounds at the south rooms with Ellis and…..Dr. Toomarian must have been the new girl she was talking about. Victoria doesn't really know her but she seemed nice during their shift on the 4th.
"What are you doing here, kid?"
Victoria blinks as she turns back to the nurses station. Dana calls everyone younger than her kid - which is most of them - so she doesn't feel the need to defend herself, and she just gives a little wave. "Hi Dana," she smiles. "I'm meeting Dr. Santos."
"Huh," Dana hums, looking between the two of them. "Didn't take you two for friends."
"Uh um…we're not."
That gets Victoria a raised eyebrow. "I mean, we're friendly…kinda. We tolerate each other," Victoria clarifies, and Dana just nods. It must make more sense to her than them being friends. "I just needed to talk to her about something."
"Ah….life advice," Dana mutters. "I hear tomorrow is a certain someone's birthday. Her twenty-first birthday. Big day. Any plans?"
Victoria groans. She's long since given up on trying to keep her birthday to herself. It's a lost cause after Princess finds out about something. "Not that I've planned."
"Well, just keep your schedule clear, yeah? There's quite the event happening, I've been told. But you didn't hear it from me."
"Wait Dana…."
"Can't talk, kid. Have to whip these night shift nurses into shape before I get outta here."
"Dana…."
Too late. Ugh.
Victoria just knows she's going to combust tomorrow. It's better than the alternative of studying on her birthday, she guesses, but she's not sure she can handle a big surprise party. She doesn't even know the last time she had a birthday party that wasn't her and her parents at an expensive restaurant before going home early so that Victoria could study before bed. But only for an hour.
Because it was her birthday, after all. Obviously.
"Vic?"
Oh god her heart does that little flip again.
"Don't tell me this is how I learn you're leaving us for the night shift?" McKay questions as she saddles up against the nurses station. Her bag is over her shoulder, but she's still wearing her scrubs, and Victoria swears that she feels Cassie's eyes give her a quick once over. "Shen's a bit more relaxed than Robby, but I don't think he'll let you work dressed like that. As nice as you look."
"Ha…no…you think it looks good?" Victoria stammers. She stammers and she preens, cocking a hip out (just a little) because her stomach is clenching and her heart is flipping and god she needs to get this under control.
"I think any clothes are more flattering than scrubs. And I'm pretty sure I've only seen you in scrubs."
Ah. That's…that's probably true.
"It doesn't look that busy," Victoria pivots, eyes flitting around. "How was today?"
"Um….good," McKay bobs her head. Her hand comes up to brush some hair from her face, and Victoria feels her fingers twitch with the urge to do the same. She's so down bad, it's insane. "Wasn't too crazy. Maybe a little bit less busy than usual, not a lot of traumas. Al-Hashimi is more…hands off than Robby, which will take some getting used to. And a lot less…Robby. But it was a good day."
Victoria wasn't entirely sure that Robby would end up taking his sabbatical. She guesses he did. Hopefully he comes back.
"What are you doing here though? You should be relaxing before your shift tomorrow. And your birthday."
"Ugh, don't remind me," Victoria groans. It garners her a confused look, which she does her best to wave off. "I'm um meeting Santos. We're gonna…just hang out. I guess."
Cassie's eyebrows have somehow gotten even higher on her forehead. "Wow. I didn't know you two were that close."
"Oh we're not."
"Right," Cassie reasons, voice slow and methodical. Like this is something that she can't quite wrap her head around, and honestly, Victoria kind of just hopes she chalks it up to their age difference. "That's good for you to to be friendly though. God knows how hard it is to work twelve hours with people you hate."
"Ohhhh….any gossip?"
"Not that you're getting from me," McKay grins. She pushes herself off the nurses station, giving Victoria a light pat on the shoulder. "I gotta go get some sleep before tomorrow's shift. I'll see you then. Birthday girl."
"God, please don't call me that."
McKay doesn't say anything. She just laughs, giving Victoria another pat on the shoulder and a quick side hug before she leaves. Victoria…she can't help but watch McKay and the sway of her hips as she walks out the door.
"What are you and Doctor Bangs flirting about?"
"That's really the best nickname you have for her?" Victoria groans. Santos somehow had the time to change, wearing a pair of jeans and a tank top that unfortunately looks very good on her.
"Well all the other ones I can think of involve Mommy or MILF, and we're in our place of work, Crash. Don't be gross."
"Please…don't talk about McKay like that."
"Right, I forgot I'm speaking to Mommy Issues Incarnate."
"I'm already regretting this."
"Hey," Santos puts her hands up in mock defence. "You're the one who scammed my number from my snake of a roommate. If you wanna call it off, that's all you, baby."
"No, I'm…I'm sorry," Victoria sighs. "Thank you for um…agreeing to talk. But could we…there's a couple pretty good food trucks in the park, if you're hungry? On me."
"I'm not sure I like this nice version of you," Santos retorts, and okay, now Victoria's not sure she'll make it through this. "But I could eat so lead the way, Crash. And it's definitely on you. I know you've got that trust fund money."
"I really should have talked to Mel instead."
One quick trip to the food truck later, and Victoria finds herself sitting with Santos at a park table. Victoria's not sure what Whitaker and Santos feed themselves, but apparently it's not a lot, since Santos decided to take Victoria's offer to pay to heart.
"You eat a lot," Victoria mutters, looking at the spread Santos has in front of her. Two hot dogs and two hamburgers, in comparison to Victoria's lone hamburger. "I should invoice you for that."
"I'm not eating all of it," Santos rolls her eyes. "Huck's back from the farm tonight and he's too much of a cheap-ass to buy himself food on the way home. So he's eating on your dime."
Victoria just blinks. She hadn't expected that. "Oh. That's like…really nice of you."
Santos blushes. She absolutely blushes and it's kind of insane. "Whatever. He gets grumpy when he's hungry. Don't need to deal with that shit."
"Right. It's all because you don't care at all."
"Now you're getting it."
Victoria doesn't believe it, not for a second. She still doesn't know if she likes Santos - she's mean, she can be cruel, her patient care is awful even if she's a great doctor - but the more they talk, the more she can tell there's something underneath the surface.
"So, what's up Crash?
"Hm?"
Santos' eyes practically roll back into her skull, and the bite she takes from her hot dog is frankly, too aggressive. "No offense, but this is first time we've ever talked outside of The Pitt. I don't think you called me here to chat about our nails."
"Right…um…right," Victoria stammers. She doesn't know what it is about Santos - maybe the bluntness, maybe the thin layer of acidity to everything she says - but it just throws Victoria off. It throws her off, and makes her want to give it right back. She tries not to right now though, because she does actually need to talk about this. "It's um…it's personal. So can you please kind of be….be serious for a second?"
"Um…sure," Santos draws out. "This isn't an HR thing, is it? Because I'm really not the person to…"
"No! No, god no. Nothing….nothing like that. It's just….it's a personal thing but it's important and you're somehow literally the only person I can talk to which is really….really sad. But it's uh…it's nothing bad. I don't think."
Santos doesn't say anything. She just looks at Victoria like she's waiting for her to continue, so with a breath, she gets right on it. "How did you know that you liked women?"
The way Santos' eyes bug out would make Victoria laugh if she wasn't screaming on the inside.
"Wait…you, Victoria Javadi, are asking me, Trinity Santos, about being a dyke?"
"I really don't think you're supposed to use that word anymore."
"I'm in the community, Crash, I can say whatever I want," Santos waves it off. "Okay, so um….I've never been anyone's gay guru, so give me a second," she continues, licking her fingers clean. Victoria cringes at how unsanitary it is. "Okay…okay. How did you uh…what flipped the switch? Because no offense, but you're literally the most hetero-passing person I've ever met."
"Is that you calling me basic?" Victoria questions, and Santos just shrugs. "I don't…I don't know. I've just been… there's someone that identifies as female that I've been…that makes me feel…
"Breathe, Victoria," Santos cuts in, and Victoria doesn't miss that Trinity actually called her by her first name. "You don't have to explain anything. It isn't charting," she smirks. "It's a spectrum, right? You don't have to define it."
"Right…yeah, it definitely is. You're right."
"Of course I am."
"Don't be cocky."
"Can't help it, you little freak," Santos teases. "But you're into someone where it wouldn't be a hetero relationship, yeah? You can just use queer if you want. Whatever label you fuck with, really. Or no label. You do you."
"Right. Obviously. I knew that," Victoria breathes. It's….it's weird. Santos is right, and she's still being Santos, but it's oddly helpful. It would be weird if she were just nice and comforting and completely un-Santos like. If she were acting like McKay, she would be….yep, really don't need to compare the two. "I just never, considered it, I guess. It might surprise you, but most people in med school aren't interested in the underaged brown girl. Besides making fun of her."
"Yeah that's pretty shit. So you just haven't had your big gay awakening until now. No big deal," Santos shrugs. "No set age. I had mine when I was um….when I was younger."
Victoria knows she doesn't imagine the frown on Trinity's face. Like she's remembering something she'd rather not. "So you've always known?" She asks.
Santos just shrugs again, eyes firmly on the table. "Uh…yeah. Yeah pretty much. I've known that guys aren't for me for a long….long time."
Victoria's not the best at picking up social cues, but even she can tell that there's something that Santos doesn't want to talk about. Probably best to pivot away from it and her relationship with men.
"That must be nice," she sighs. "I've never uh…."
"I can tell. You pretty much have 'Big ol' Virgin' tattooed on your forehead."
"Oh. My. God."
"No hate," Trinity raises her hands up. "Like I said, happens for everyone when it happens. You're just too obvious. But it sounds like…you have someone in mind. And since you don't have a life outside of The Pitt….it's someone there."
Oh no oh no oh no oh no
"Samira would be a straight up baddie if she literally did anything besides work, but I don't think it's her. And Dr. AI you've only known for like a day, so as long as you're not that down bad for a MILF….oh my god you are. Just not that MILF."
Victoria wants to curl up and die.
"Kinda makes sense. Like I said….Mommy Issues Incarnate."
"Can we please…"
"Hey, no judgment, Crash. I get it. McKay's vibe….not my speed, but for you, it makes like, a crazy amount of sense. You're kinda of a whole walking talking cliche, huh?"
"I thought you said no judgment."
"Not judging, just observing."
Victoria has half a mind to 'observe' Santos' own love life. About how she's apparently only interested in women that don't care about her besides what she can do in bed. That's….that's really mean though, and Santos is trying to help. She's trying to help and Victoria's trying to be nice.
"I don't know when it started," Victoria says instead. She barely gets it out, just above a whisper. "I just…she…"
"Victoria…you don't have to explain it. Your heart wants what it wants, right?" Trinity offers. "And your heart wants an older woman who praises you. I wonder why."
She says the last part under her breath, like she doesn't want Victoria to hear. But she does.
"I know! I know but she's also really pretty and really strong and sometimes I just want to…do…do stuff."
"Seriously, no judgment. I mean that. Not really interested in hearing about how you want Doctor Bangs to split you in half, but all's fair in that big brain of yours."
"I know, it's just….I don't know if I should feel bad about it."
"What? Why?" Santos cuts in.
"Because she's….she's so nice and she helps me and I really really love all of that, but I'm still thinking about kissing her and….you know! She's being nice and kind and I'm just being….I have that feeling whenever and…I don't know if I should be feeling it."
Santos doesn't say anything. Not right away. She's just sitting there, frown on her face as she picks at the chipped paint on the old worn down picnic table. She's thinking, clearly, and as much as Victoria wants to fill the air, she doesn't say anything. She just sits there like a silly idiot quietly nibbling on her food.
"Don't ever let someone make you feel bad about what you want," Santos starts, and Victoria doesn't think she's ever heard her this forceful before. "Assuming it's all consensual, obviously. But McKay's an adult, and you're an adult, and it makes you happy, and that's never wrong. Okay, Victoria? Don't ever feel bad about that."
"I uh….okay. Okay."
Victoria barely gets it out. She's barely above a whisper.
"I can't speak for McKay, but she treats you differently than everyone else. She's…she adores you, and you obviously….you know. You're into her. And people fucking….they take advantage and they tell you what you're thinking is wrong and it isn't and they make you think that there's other ways you can be better. But there isn't, okay? If she makes you happy, that's all that fucking matters. Fuck anyone else. "
"Okay, Trinity," Victoria says, and before she can stop herself, she reaches across and grabs Trinity's hand. "Thank you."
Trinity doesn't say anything. She doesn't look Victoria in the eye, just staring at where their hands are linked.
It's probably silly. Trinity probably won't answer. But Victoria can't help but ask.
"Does Garcia make you happy?"
She's almost positive that Trinity won't answer. In any other setting, she doesn't think she would. Which is why Victoria's so surprised when she does.
"She doesn't make me sad. Not when we're together," Santos sighs, which isn't….Victoria's been known to judge. She understands its a weakness. But she can tell that their relationship isn't good for Trinity. Not with the way that she's looking down at the table, sadness in her eyes.
"But she doesn't make you happy."
"This isn't about me, Crash," Santos blinks, gaze ducking just enough that Victoria's sure she's wiping something from of her eyes. "I don't….I can't…it doesn't matter."
"It does."
"We're supposed to be talking about your Mommy kink," Santos bites back, pulling her hand away, and yep, that's the Trinity Santos that Victoria knows.
"You don't have to be rude," Victoria mutters, and she swears Trinity's gaze softens a little. "Just because you and Garcia are having issues.…"
"Garcia doesn't…there's no me and Garcia," Santos sighs. She leans back in her seat, arms crossed over her chest, and not for the first time, Victoria can practically see the defensiveness emanating off of her. Of how angry she is at everything. "I don't even think Garcia likes me. She just wants someone to fuck her feelings into after a shift."
"Oh um…I'm sorry."
"It's whatever. Some of us aren't built for love, you know?"
"I don't think that's true."
"Yeah, well….get back to me in a couple years," Trinity sighs. She sighs and leans in, forearms against the table and strands of hair falling over her face. "Welcome to the community, Crash. The more the merrier."
"So….you gonna tell her?"
Victoria looks over at Trinity as they walk to the bus stop - they're going in different directions, but same stop - a small frown on her face as she kicks at a pebble on the side walk.
"Definitely not," Victoria gets out, cheeks bright red at even considering the prospect. "McKay's….she's so nice but…keep this between us, okay?"
"Lips sealed."
Somehow Victoria doubts that.
"Chad - her ex - has a girlfriend that's, like, your age. Maybe Whitaker's. And Cassie is…she thinks Chloe's a kid and immature and that it's wrong. And Chloe's older than me!"
"Ah…" Trinity hums. "You fell for the only woman who wouldn't jump at the chance for a hot twenty-year old piece of ass. Tough luck, Crash."
"She wouldn't be Cassie if she did ."
Trinity just laughs. "Fuck, you have it bad," she grins, and…yeah, Victoria thinks she does. She knows she does, and she knows that she probably won't act on it because why would Cassie McKay of all people want her? She's young, inexperienced, has no social life, she lives with her parents, she's got a mother who hates her, and…
There's a world where Victoria tells McKay how she feels. She tells Cassie that she has feelings for her and Cassie politely declines. Tells Victoria that she really likes her, but that she's a kid. That she's too young, that she's probably just confused (she isn't). That they should just forget that this ever happened. And then…then McKay stops talking to her as much and stops teaching her and….
"I can hear you spiraling from here."
"Says you."
"Fair," Trinity shrugs. "Listen. You're twenty-one tomorrow, right?" She questions, even though Victoria's positive that Trinity already knows. She's just feigning ignorance. "There's this new gay bar in town. I was planning to take Huckleberry with me to educate him on my culture, but he's probably gonna be busy getting his prostate milked at the farm. His loss. Now though….we gotta show you your culture."
"My cult…"
Trinity rolls her eyes far back enough that Victoria thinks she's gonna have to take her to the ED. "Queer culture, Jesus. If you really think you're some flavour of dyke, you gotta experience it. And I, baby, am your Sherpa."
Victoria can't help her snort. "Fuck, you're dorky."
"Just helping you live, Vic. Just helping you live."
"It would be kinda cool though. Not tomorrow, but….sometime."
"Yeah, just give me a ring," Santos says as they arrive at the bus stop. Victoria can already see a bus down the road, and judging by the fact that Trinity's grabbing a pass out of her pocket, it's probably hers.
"Sant….Trinity," Victoria starts, because she really is so so grateful. "Thank you for talking and for um….for listening. It um really…thanks."
Santos shrugs , but Victoria swears she sees a blush. "Anytime," she says, and against her better judgment, Victoria feels the need to go into a hug…..a hug that's quickly rejected. "Fuck are you doing?"
"Um…nothing! Have a good bus ride home!"
"Uh huh….see you later, Crash."
Victoria takes the bus to work the next morning.
She usually tries to, and most of the time, she's able. It's only on those days that her Mom or Dad catch her in the morning before she's about to leave, and make it clear that she will be driving in with them, that she doesn't.
That's not today though. She figures she'll see them at work - birthday and all that - but Victoria gets up bright and early and gets to the bus stop before seeing either of her parents. She's twenty-one years old now. She's legally an adult. She should be able to go to work however she wants.
She'll be looking for an apartment soon. It's the second thing on her big list of things to do. 1) Confirm her specialization. 2) Find an apartment. 3) Find a car
Now that she's twenty-one, it'll be easier to have those conversations. Her parents won't be able to pull the 'you're still just a child ' card on her anymore. For that reason, she's ecstatic about today.
She just doesn't care for birthdays. Never has.
If what Dana alluded to is true, this will be her first birthday that's not just her and her parents in….god knows how long. Easily a decade. Maybe longer.
She's not sure she's ready for that. She's also not sure if she has a choice.
She gets into work early. 6:25 AM, when the night shift is still winding things down before they do their rounds. She spends a little bit in the front with Chantana - who doesn't know it's her birthday, and Victoria's more than fine with that - before making her way into the D. She has everything in her locker and she's out in The Pitt by 6:45; just in time for her shift.
"Morning Victoria," She's greeted, Victoria's eyes flitting up from where she's currently typing away on one of the various computers. "Happy Birthday."
"Thanks Dennis," She chirps, ignoring the way that her stomach flips with nerves. "How was the farm?"
"Uhhh good. It was good," he nods, bobbing just a little as he leans against the table. "Thanks for dinner. Trin said you paid for it."
"Yep! I didn't know I was buying it for you. I just thought she was carbo-loading or something."
"Oh. Well uh…thanks anyway I gue…"
"Crash! Birthday Crash!"
"It's not even seven AM, " Victoria groans. "Can you just give me five minutes of quiet."
"On your birthday….I can give you three," Santos smirks. She's tapping her fingers against the table as she leans into Whitaker's side, bumping him just a little bit off kilter. "Your girl is looking for you, by the way."
Her gir…oh!
"What do you mean…." Whitaker starts, but Victoria's quick enough to bring her hand to his mouth to stop any and all words from leaving it.
"Careful," Santos deadpans. "He bites. Went feral up at the farm."
"I'm um…I'm gonna….I'm gonna go see whoever you're talking about. Not that I know who it is."
Victoria quickly gets to her feet and scampers away, ignoring the banter she can hear behind her as Whitaker tries to figure out what Santos is talking about. It's almost drowned out by the beating of Victoria's heart in and out of her chest as her eyes flit around….until she finds her.
McKay's standing at the Nurses' station talking with Langdon, hushed whispers about…something. Victoria wonders if it's sobriety related, which is so clearly not her place. She just gives a quick little wave and stands awkwardly fifteen feet away, kicking her feet lightly against the ground.
She feels a little silly. Like she's in a high school rom-com that she used to dream about when she was younger.
It's embarrassing how quickly her eyes flit up when she hears someone approaching her.
"Happy Birthday, Dr. Javadi," Langdon says as he passes, and Victoria does her absolute best to not let the disappointment show on her face. She thinks she does a good job, but she's been told that she's absolutely awful at hiding how she's feeling.
McKay's still standing by the nurses station, watching, and Victoria mutters a quiet thanks to Langdon as she walks over. She walks over, McKay pushes off the station and envelops her in a hug. "Happy Birthday Victoria," she says softly, and Victoria just melts into the touch. "I heard you were in early. Too early for your birthday."
"Um…I wanted to make sure I caught the bus," Victoria stammers out, and she can tell that McKay's absolutely not buying it with the way she stiffens .
"I'm sure," McKay rolls her eyes before she pulls away, and Victoria - regrettably - does the same. "Come with me. Langdon agreed to cover your patients for the first twenty minutes."
"He um…he did?"
"Yup."
"Huh. Okay."
"He's a good guy who made a mistake. He's trying to make amends," McKay hums as she pivots and starts making her way to the break room. Victoria takes a second to watch the sway of her hips - they always sway so much - before she quickly falls in step. "I'm also inclined to give him grace. I know what it's like to have to build your relationships back up."
Victoria's not really sure what to say to that. It's not like her and Langdon ever had a relationship, so there's not really anything to resurrect. She's worked with him a total of two days, and on those two days she rarely worked directly with him. She believes in rehabilitation though so…hopefully he gets it together.
Victoria has more questions, but they're in the break room, and McKay is rummaging through the fridge. "I know you don't want any presents but I couldn't resist," she starts, turning around with a decent sized cupcake. Chocolate. Victoria's favourite.
"You…you really didn't have to."
"I know that. You deserve it," Cassie continues. "I know it's hard sometimes, being here, and….I don't pretend to know about your home life, but I know it can be difficult. You deserve knowing how special you are, Victoria. I know that you….I know that you don't always hear that. At home, or out there. So this is me letting you know."
Victoria's not sure what to say. She's not….she doesn't get this often. Ever. This praise. A reminder that she's…that she's doing a good job. That she's good at this. That she's good.
And it's….it's a bit too much.
Cassie must notice that too, judging by the way she sets the cupcake aside and steps forward. "Was that too much? I'm sorry if that was too…"
Victoria still doesn't have the words. She doesn't have the words, so she just steps forward and hugs Cassie again, burying her face in her shoulder. "Thank you," she gets out, voice soft, doing the best she can to stop the way that her heart is trying to explode out of her chest. She's pretty sure she's going tachycardic.
"Anytime,Vic."
"God that's embarrassing," Victoria eventually gets out as she pulls away, wiping her eyes again. "Can we split it?"
"Vic, it's for…"
"We should split it."
"Bossy," McKay mutters, but there's a smile on her face as she looks over her shoulder at the cupboards. "Mind grabbing a knife?"
Victoria does just that, doing her best to calm herself down. She's seconds away from saying something that she could regret. She needs to get her heart to calm down and her stomach to stop flipping before she ruins everything.
She knows that she's not straight, thanks to Trinity. She gave her the courage to admit that. She knows that she has feelings Cassie McKay beyond mentor/mentee. She doesn't…she doesn't think she can act on it. Not if she wants to keep the relationship intact. Maybe at some point, but not….not right now.
She thinks…she thinks she'll reach out to Trinity next week. See if she's still interested in going to that gay bar. Assuming they aren't sick of each other by then. Maybe Dennis actually can join as a buffer.
"And if there was a party tonight. Theoretically," Cassie continues, and all Victoria can do is roll her eyes. "I'd love to buy you your first legal drink."
"That would um…that'd be perfect," Victoria smiles as she turns back around, knife in hand. She passes it to Cassie, fingers brushing, and yep, she's gone tachy again. "Thank you Cassie. Seriously. This um…this means a lot."
"Anytime, Vic," Cassie smiles. "You deserve it. And you deserve to know that."
With her heart beating in and out of her chest, Victoria believes it.