Chapter Text
Peter wasn’t really focused on his date after that one horrifying text he had received from Steven.
Mind you, Steven is not answering his phone at all— usually, the Brit would’ve been awake by now. It’s 11 AM almost 12, Steven likes to get a head start of his job hunting because.. Steven doesn’t say it but it’s the ; ‘early birds gets the worms’ kind of thing. Although, Steven did try to talk to him about something yesterday before Peter went out for his photography job.
Didn’t really get the chance to because Peter was busy building a PC he had found in the trash. Steven think it’s terrifying how Peter is building everything from scratch plus without manuals— PLUS, it being as advanced as Stark’s technologies.
Peter was trying to reboot EV his AI at some point before he decided to swing by some crime scenes for extra cash before their ‘Marc’s paranoia expenses’ runs out on them. Peter still thinks it’s funny that Jake and Steven were making fun of Marc for this, but it is what’s saving both Peter’s and Steven’s unlucky butts.
Anyway, back to what Steven has to say about his day yesterday.. billionaire? In Gotham?
That freak Bruce Wayne that Peter watched a video of him pole dancing like a prostitute on YouTube?
No, right?
“Something on your mind?”
Jason finally speaks after witnessing Peter's face losing colours in a comically fast pace.
“No.. I mean. Gosh. What do you do if your parental figure just confessed to being offered a job by a freakshow?”
Jason cocks his head to the side.
“You gotta be more specific, sweetheart. There’s a lot of freakshows around here.”
“Bruce Wayne.”
That got Jason chocking on his coffee— from both pure shock and how much that actually tickled his bones. Bruce Wayne? Bruce? Batman? The old bat asked someone to work for him? Oh no, the old man’s playboy skills are withering as he ages. Is that how he flirts with people now? Jason knowns damn well Bruce doesn’t bother going out recruiting people for work on his own in broad daylight— and for him to ask this newcomer to work with him?
Brucie’s. In. Fucking. Love.
“Are you serious?”
Jason, finally freed from his chocking fiasco, asked— to which he was answered by a surprised nod from his poor date.
“Don’t worry too much about it. He’s got it.”
Jason will give Bruce credits just because he isn’t Dick. Dick genuinely fumbles the ball like a peacock. Only knowing how to flaunt his charms and handsome face and missing the goal because his game is genuinely assed.
Kori hasn’t talk to him in a week and motherfucker’s genuinely going through an emotional breakdown. His ass was supposed to be in Bludhaven, but he’s in Gotham tearing up Alfred’s cooking because gorgeous Kori hates his guts now.
Which is close. Kori had send a text to Jason, telling him to relay this ; ‘tell Dick to not wait for me’.
That almost sent Dick into Arkham Asylum itself. He is not doing great. Repeat. Not great.
Jason hasn’t stopped by since then— he put his apartment on lockdown too because Dick is not stepping inside and crying about his stupid mistakes to Jason.
“You know Bruce Wayne?”
Jason made a funny face at the question. Does he?
“A little. I mean, we are family to some extents..”
Right. It’s complicated to tell the tale to Peter for now.
“You think my Mum would be okay with him?”
Why did Peter called Steven that? Steven’s only a few years older, they’re gonna think he’s a teenage mum! Wait.. that’s not the point now, is it?
“Well, if your mom’s super manipulative— I mean, smart.. she or he will probably survive.”
Not saying that Bruce isn’t on ‘good terms’ with Selina, but y’know? That man was a victim once. A very willing one at that. Ew.
“You know how comforting that sounds?”
Jason shrugs.
“Listen, the old man’s fine. I know him. If your mom get him smitten enough— he’ll probably by them the Earth. He basically owns everything anyway.”
That’s true. Peter had tried teaching Steven about how insane this Bruce guy lore was, but Steven would rather eat a chicken than look at those endless list.
Actually, Steven haven’t been able to go back to being vegan because he doesn’t like the taste of the vegetables and fruits here and other vegan stuff.
It had genuinely tasted awful to his taste buds. Peter’s senses are getting kind of weird too.
Guess the multiversal travel did have effects on them.
Steven has been miserable since then. Peter could tell he liked the taste of meat, but also, this man would rather eat grass than a cow. Valid. It’s his life after all.
Steven knows how to cook so Peter didn’t have to go out of his way to learn to cook food for the both of them.
Steven knows both vegan and non vegan options because he had lived with his three lovers and learned to cook for them too.
Also, Peter joins them for lunch and dinner sometimes. It’s fun.
Well, it’s fun when they weren’t touching Steven— because that’s literally the only piece of meat that they’d usually want, but Peter had learned to ignore it. Keep his mind peaceful as Jake’s hand snakes closer towards Steven’s chest like a pervert.
Peter webbed him up on the wall.
Marc had a field day with that one.
And what do you know? A very fiesty, angry and pissy Jake, webbed to the wall is Steven’s phone wallpaper now. The Brit adores that picture and Marc would cackle every time Steven unlock his phone.
Peter had seen all of their phone wallpapers since these four just keep him around like he’s their kid most of the time.
Layla had a picture of all of them, sometimes she would decorate it even more with more pictures of them, mostly Steven. Marc = Layla/Steven. Jake = Steven. Can you spot the favourite???
They love each other, yes, but there is this one particular member of their little community that gets more love than the others.
Guessed it?
It’s Gus! (Actually, the fact that they’ve gotten four new goldfishes and named them Gus 1-4 is mind boggling to Peter) (Why does everyone get their own goldfishes?) (Where’s Peter’s?) (That was a joke but they took it seriously now there’s Gus 5).
No, kidding, actually it’s Steven duh. Of course.
For Steven? He regularly changes his wallpaper. Sometimes it’s all of them, sometimes it’s Layla or Marc or Jake or them together with Steven as a duo. No in between. They’re so sickeningly sweet it makes Peter wants to curl up in bed and wished he was in that kind of relationship. Feeling loved by everyone. Must’ve felt great.
But Steven loves him, and so does the other three so he wasn’t that lonely after all. Plus, he has Jean and also MJ and Ned (AND DeWolff, occasionally, Claire Temple). They may not remember him, but at least he’s not doing it alone anymore.
They began chatting about something else, eating away at their food at a pace that would’ve send some random normal dieted guy into a coma. Peter might’ve just met his partner for life because this man eats like a fatass.
Oh Lord, it’s his soulmate.
It was a genuinely fun date and Jason had promised to call him for the next one.
Peter finally arrived home and jumped on top of a sleeping Steven which causes the older to wake from his slumber with a terrified scream.
Peter received a smack to the head.. well deserved.
“What’s wrong with you, mate?!”
Steven scolded sleepily, rubbing the crust out of his eyes and mumbling British curses.
“What’s wrong with you and that creepy text?!”
Creepy? Creepy text? Peter could see the gears in Steven’s head turning in real time, face still full of drool and his curly hair a mess.
“Is this about the billionaire?”
Peter rolls to lie down beside Steven.
“Yeah.”
Steven stares at the ceiling before snorting.
“The pay could honestly get us a better apartment after the first paycheck comes out.”
“Say yes.”
“But—”
“Steven.”
“I thought we should—”
“Oh my god, just suck his dick! It’s not your first rodeo!”
Steven burst out laughing at that. Peter’s version of being reasonable is really cracking the Brit up. The pay is that good, yes. Steven had a talk with the CEO around 9 AM this morning before going back to sleep.
The CEO had been eager to answer Steven’s questions about the job and talked about the salary even before Steven could ask. He had never heard that number being offered as a salary before. At least not to people like him.
There are so much benefits and basically no cons— how can a job do that?
“You think Bruce Wayne really needs a personal assistant?”
Bruce doesn’t seem like the type of guy. If anything, the man seems to be put together when it comes to his organization for a playboy. How old is he now?
“I mean, he asked.”
Peter said nonchalantly, like it was the most obvious thinv in the world. Because Bruce Wayne asked.
“I think he’s just a pervert.”
“I’ll beat him up if he does anything you don’t like.”
“Please stop picking up bad behaviors from Marc and Jake.”
“Layla does that too.”
“Clearly, I’m the only one with a reasonable parenting style.”
“Didn’t you beat—”
“No.”
As much as Steven wants to act innocent, he’s not. As Moon Knight, there’s just gotta be something wrong with you— their enemies calls them insane. Which usually got directed to Marc and Jake, but sometimes, Steven could be quite unhinged too when the suit is on.
Not insane in a literal sense.. they’re okay. More stable than before or maybe not.
Something Steven had picked up from his alters that causes them heart attack is the tendency to not dodge any attacks.
It’s a bit hypocritical considering the fact that they’re actively doing the same bullshit but when Steven does it suddenly he’s out of his mind. Which hasn’t been sound since the beginning anyway!
Back to what Peter said about Steven beating up some lads.. they deserved it. Who told them to touch Spider-Man while he’s down and sick? Yeah, guess who’s gonna touch them while they’re down and sick?
Pathfinder Peter’s ass, Steven is just as much as of a fighter as his alters are!
Steven just doesn’t think so. Which is funny because those batons does fucking wonders. Even while training.
Actually, Steven has had training from the best baton user in their universe— Matt. Matt Murdock. The blind dude, yes. To be fair, he is DareDevil, he’s not some normal blind guy.
So how did Daredevil and Steven met if Steven rarely steps afoot in America? Matt was in London. And so was Peter (it was a college thing!)
Jake was smoking outside of a restaurant when Matt decided to take a sit beside him.
It had taken Jake a while to process who’s actually sitting next to him and frowned when he was met with Matt’s cheeky smile.
“What are you doing here, chico abogado?”
“A new case.”
“They trust a blind chico that much?”
“Is that ableism—”
“Don’t put words in my mouth, tu perro sucio!”
Jake was all bark and no bite and before Matt could reply, a familiar voice interrupted them.
“Jake, food’s on the table. Steven said if you don’t come in.. in the next like ten seconds, you’re sleeping on the couch. And if you smell like nicotine, it’s the floor.”
Jake scrambled to get up and raced back into the restaurant.
“Peter?”
“Please don’t ask.”
“And I thought you liked being a loner.”
“Shit happens, man.”
And by shit happens Peter means that he didn’t really get a choice of saying no in this random decision making mad by Marc, Steven, Layla and Jake. Sometimes Jake would shove him into the plane with him to visit Steven just because he can and will.
Marc would turn a blind eye. Layla hypes up Steven’s vegan food. Peter accepts his fate.
Repeat.
And how did Murdock get his hands on Steven?
There was some trouble that night— Steven was the only one available as Moon Knight around the area, and Daredevil decided to join in the fun. The lawyer found out Steven fights using batons and had taken the liberty to teach him some new tricks and how to properly utilize them.
Jake did not like it. That womanizer should stay away from Steven. What if his sexual orientation suddenly change when he gets to know Steven? Steven just have that affect on people, okay? He didn’t think he’d kiss a man but had always made Steven an exception.
Steven’s got charms, alright. Especially on dudes. Weirdly enough, it’s mostly on dudes.
“It’s because you guys like twinks.”
Marc choked on his coffee, Jake inhaled the smoke of his cigarette too fast, and Layla’s cackling.
“He is not a twink!”
“You are in denial about a lot of things, Marc.”
That was fighting words but Marc and Jake are both recovering from chocking and it gave Peter enough time to dip.
We’re running off topic, but well, that’s the gist of it. Of how Steven is now even more talented with his batons.
Sometimes he’d throw it straight to Peter’s head if the spider decided to make a stupid decision which happens often and Peter’s surprised he’s come out most of those attacks without a concussion. Steven hits hard. His aim had improved ever since Matt taught him tricks. Peter feels like being scolded by a mother hen.
“Earth to Peter, should I say yes?”
“You sound like a teenage girl with a crush.”
“On the money, yes.”
“Are you texting him your answer? No emails? No calls?”
“.. he said it’s okay.”
This billionaire wants to fuck Peter’s mum indeed.