Chapter Text
“You guys are a power couple,” Vilde had said.
“I like how you guys are still friends,” Noora commented.
“If you weren't constantly all over each other, I'd say you were brothers,” Magnus had laughed, earning a moment of horror from Isak that was quickly replaced by some breed of shocked laughter.
“What the fuck?” He'd laughed, palming over his face as Even threw his own head back. “Magnus, what the fuck?”
“No, no! I meant, like, because you bicker so much! You're always laughing at each other and poking fun and stuff. Not fucking… incest, or whatever.” He was blooming cherry red over his ears, and while everyone could see the sense there, letting it go was… no. Not gonna happen.
“Jesus, first it’s hooking up with cats, now it’s watching siblings bang,” Jonas was saying, and apparently it was too much for Even, as he bent at the waist to keep a laugh in his lungs. His shoulders were shaking and it, just. That made Isak's whole day better. So he was gonna let Magnus get away with that one.
But… the point there is, that, like, apparently more than enough people… uh.
Even quirked a brow in thought.
They… enjoy wasn't the right word, but like. They definitely weren't quiet about what they thought of his and Isak's relationship. For what rare comments they got about something… not so bright, there was something positive to compensate tenfold. It was great. Even didn't mind. Did not mind in the least.
In the beginning, there was a lot of don't look, and are they looking? which didn't leave room for those sort of comments, but, like. Ever since the whole kiss me. right now. do it. thing at a party of Vilde’s, ever since they grew into their relationship and became much less concerned with who knew it, there's just.
A lot of laughs.
A lot of, oh my god, does it really look that way? and a lot of Isak snorting and tearing up from laughter and if Even could see it, could make room for those comments every single day to see Isak laugh that way, he would. Solicited or otherwise. Seeing the younger boy laugh just… made the sun come out, made the stars shine. Made the Earth turn even when Even’s felt at a standstill.
It wasn't like Isak didn't feel similarly, either. Yo, like. If he could get Even to laugh? Like really, throaty, cannot-catch-a-breath laughter where he has to hiccup, has to throw his head back -- listen, it just. Isak was done for. Everything, everyone can go home. Those sparkling eyes and toothy grin were all he needed.
I)
So here they were, constantly fishing for ways to get the other boy to crack up, to bust it like it was some sort of side quest in an RPG. Like. Like…
Like, subsequent to an inebriated scuffle that ended with Even shyly palming the back of his neck, mumbling something about, “maybe I should… go home, for the night?” and leading to -- uh, well, exactly that? Both boys spent the night wallowing.
Not, like. Not New Moon wallowing, but there was a concerning amount of anxiously glancing at text threads to see if the other was typing, if they should start typing, if they should wait, what is he thinking, what is he thinking, what is he thinking, what is
Yeah.
No one was enjoying themselves.
‘S not like they hadn't fought before, and harsher things had been said, but. This was the first time they'd gone to bed angry, and if Isak's shaking fingers flicking through Yahoo Answers was any indication, it was some kind of cardinal rule that you should never do that.
So they sat under separate covers in separate beds, in separate rooms, and that alone felt like too many layers between them for their current situation.
I didn't mean it, Isak wanted to type. I was just frustrated. I could never mean any of those things. I don't even know where it came from. I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
And from where Even was sitting, there was no way of seeing his eyebrows furrow, no way of seeing the younger boy settle his face in his palms and see his shoulder tremble. No way of seeing words he didn't know how to say.
And from where Isak was sitting, there was no way to see Even blinking furiously as he kept checking, rechecking, rechecking, rechecking their text threads. No way to see him lie his back and sigh, no way to see his eyes trace patterns on the ceiling and the gears turn behind his hairline.
Stayed like that for an entire night. And it only got worse.
All Even could think about come 4:00 was how glittery Isak's eyes were before he became uncomfortable, how he could see a nebula in his irises. How his cupid’s bow peeled back into something tight, something toothy and goofy and he--
Ah, Jesus. What the fuck. Whatever.
At the same time, he'd give a whole lot to know he could make Isak do it again. Even if it was four in the morning.
So, yeah, he grabbed his phone.
Not to stumble over a typed apology, no, that… no. He wasn't even sure what they fought about, at this point, so there damn sure wasn't anything to apologize for.
No, what he-- okay, it's 4:18.
He types the message, watches the clock.
4:19. This is gonna be so good.
But alas.
(I dag 4:20) Isak❤️: Wake up I miss you
(4:20) Me: 420 blaze it
(4:20) Me: oh
Even’s mouth dropped open to a perfect O, a huff coming out surprised and just, oh, god. oh god.
(4:21) Isak❤️: HVA
(4:21) Isak❤️: I
(4:22) Isak❤️: “OH”
Even’s still sputtering as his boyfriend’s contact name flashes on the screen one, twice, four times when he calls.
“Hello?” He makes an effort to compose himself for a whole two seconds until he hears Isak gasping on the end of the receiver, apparently too overwhelmed to greet back.
“You-- you fuckin’--” Isak snorts, loud and hearty, and it makes something hurt in Even’s chest. He quickly decides it's a good hurt.
“Oh my, babe,” Even catches his palm over his eyes. He's laughing enough for Isak to hear it. There's no way it isn't coming across embarrassed. “I didn't--”
“That made my whole day,” Isak's laugh, it’s just. His voice is so light. Jittery, like he can't keep a whole breath in before little chuckles come bubbling out and oh, fuck, Even wishes he were there to press his lips against the younger boy’s cheek. Feel the warmth in his blush. Feel Isak's fingers undoubtedly come up against his neck, around his shoulders.
“It's only four?” Even's smiling so big. So big. He knows Isak can hear it. It'll be amazing if he doesn't call him out on it.
“I don't care,” he says instead, coming down from the high. “I don't care. Nothing's gonna take that from me.”
Even’s still thinking of a reply when Isak bursts into laughter again. It makes him let out a snort, too. “I can't fucking believe you,” he says, and, just. Oh god. Even wants to be there so bad. Push Isak into the mattress. Poke at his ribs and make him squeal.
“What?” He takes the hand from his eyes, sort of brought back to the weight of the darkness around him.
“Every single time I think I have you pegged, you just. Come out of nowhere again.” Even’s lips peel back again, knowing his boyfriend’s smile is just as wide. “You know what, you just. Shit like this reminds me why I love you.”
Well, if there was ever a tone to remind him of what the circumstances were.
“What?” He says again, differently, a little more serious, something stonier. Isak's quiet for a moment.
“That was me trying to apologize,” He sort of mumbles, and the older boy immediately recognizes it. That's dejection, and that's. Not what he wanted to happen.
“No, no, baby,” and suddenly he's reeling, trying to pull Isak back in before he's too far from shore. “I know, I didn't mean it like that. I meant, like, how does that remind you--”
“Even,”
“Isak--”
“Do you wanna come over?”
“What?”
“When I said I missed you, that wasn't a joke?” Isak's voice lilts up, twinkles for a second, and that heat is right back in Even’s chest. But that stone is still hard. He swallows, nods before he recognizes Isak can't see him.
“It's, like, 4:30?”
And then it's quiet, “Is that… no?”
And then he's pulling back again. “I was just making sure you knew. I'll totally-- yeah, I'm on my way.”
“You don't… have to.”
“Isak, please,” He's already climbing down the ladder, pulling sweatpants up his legs. “I really want to, trust me.”
When he does get there, he doesn't get the opportunity to let himself in before the apartment door is swinging open, a bed-tousled Isak pulling at his shoulders. He easily meets him in the middle, somewhat reminiscent of a time in November.
“Don't leave again, Jesus christ,” Isak's somehow breathless, and Even makes an effort to mistake it for the younger boy trying to beat him to the door.
“I won't have a reason to, if it only takes pot jokes to get you to laugh,” Even says, completely serious, but Isak lets out another little ring of laughter and that's just. If that isn't everything.
Then what is.
II)
It's not so… heavy, every time they make an effort to get the other to lose their wits. Most of the time it’s relatively lighthearted, something they both take away from in ways that… in ways where there is no aching. Sometimes that hurt is imperative, even pivotal, for them to grow.
But other times, it's just. Simple. It's just.
Just when Even has Isak figured out. Just when he's able to say, I can totally predict how he'll react to x/y/z, he's introduced to these new facet of his boyfriend that continually adds more pieces to the puzzles.
He likes it. Keeps things interesting.
So he guesses it's not that simple, but listen.
They have a game.
what'd you call me? -- almost exclusively comprised of coming up with weird names, somehow affectionate, mostly ridiculous, to try and get a rise out of the other. They're fucking good at it, too.
A lot of them require context, like, if someone just asked them to list off the pet names they use, shit like honeydew or peanut butter cup could slide without it, could earn them a perturbed glance from the inquirer at worst. But when you fucking.
You can't. Say, like, you… can't…
Hold on.
As they'd grown more public, cozier around friends, Even frequented lunch at Nissen with Isak more and more often. Which. Inevitably.
Also meant seeing the boys.
It's not like it's a bad thing, not by any means. They all enjoy each other’s company, absolutely. No malice (not anymore--), just. Amiable.
There's also… a lot of conversation.
And by that… Even means, there's a lot of questions about the inner workings of, uh.
Well. You know Magnus. The guy’s trying.
"I don't get it,” he's saying, mouth full. Even’s eyes keep flicking to Isak, who looks like he'd rather be anywhere than here. “I just-- look, how fair is it that you'd get every single chick you went after, and then turn out to be gay? That doesn't even make sense. How did you--”
“Dude,” Isak thumbs at his own nose for a second, mocking contemplation. “Girls fall for anything. You just have to… Know how to use your words.”
"Worked on him,” it's so offhanded that Even doesn't even recognize he said it until Isak's elbowing him, faux offense decorating his features. Even snorts, ready to back himself up when,
“Oh, I get it, so Isak's like the woman in your relationship. Makes sense how he'd get to--”
“Stop,” Isak has a palm up. Magnus furrows his brow. “No. There is. No.. girl, here. There is not.”
“Good words.” Even elbows him, attempting to lighten the air. It has some affect, only visible by the tension release in Isak's figure as he does it, so he figures he'll go further. “Listen, Mags, have you ever heard of heteronormativity?”
“Uh,” Magnus furrows his brow further, and it's Isak barks a laugh before he can keep going.
"That's probably too big a word for him at, what,” he checks a watch he doesn't have, “11:30?”
The humor doesn't leave the air when Magnus’s smile does. Instead, he comes back with, “Dude, I was just gonna say that that's how you got girls so easy. You're like… wait, holy shit, is this why gay guys are such chick magnets?”
There's a record scratch in Even’s mind. Wh--
”What magnets?” He asks, leaning forward incredulously. Magnus matches his gaze.
”Chick magnets?”
“Wait… what did…” Isak looks between them for a moment, only seeming appeased when Even runs a palm down his face with a smile.
“I… one hundred percent thought you said dick magnets.” Even shakes his head. “I'm not even sure which one’s worse.”
Magnus sputters for a second over his own chuckle, giving the older boy the opportunity to--
“You'd be like, Gayneto,” Even’s chuckling, lifting his drink to his mouth when he sees Isak’s eyes blow wide. He takes the drink away, leaning away to get a better look at the younger boy when--
He notices the corners of his lips turned up, evidently trying to maintain a facade as he tries to say, “Wh-- what’d you call--”
He really can't even finish it before he's leaning forward to rest his forehead on the table, shoulders shaking in the kind of silent laughter Even never wants him to hold in. He'd give anything to hear it, but.
“Gayneto?” Magnus has a brow quirked, making an effort to quell his own laughter, only to completely fail when Even’s sheepish smile doesn't give him any answers.
Even shrugs comically, picking up his palms and watching as Isak has to wipe his dumb fucking, fucking emerald eyes on his sleeve. He's looking at Even with so much disbelief and amusement that Even can't help struggling to keep his own laugh down in the middle of the cantina.
Long story short, when Even says, “Listen, Gayneto, only half of this relationship knows how to knead dough and I'm sorry, but you're the other half,” with a finger poking Isak in the sternum, teasing laughter bubbling out of their throats, it's hushed, they're sort of whispering, noses bumping and fingertips a little too tender--
“What'd you call him?” Eskild has a coffee mug pulled from his lips, way to interested to let this go, it shouldn't be a surprise when Isak's flush goes all the way down his collar and Even’s left snorting into his boyfriend’s shoulder.
Yeah, you can get away with baby and love and that, that… normal stuff.
You can't… run around calling your boyfriend a baby giraffe in front of your friends and expect to keep your street cred.
Ask Isak.
III)
Alongside making an exceptional effort to keep Isak from falling asleep as they waded through another Monday, Even was. Fucking.
Gonna go off the deep end.
No joke, Isak had exactly zero fucking clue why Even was so adamant about making him get out of bed -- like, for real. It's. Monday. Nothing is going to happen. No new units or lectures, no exams, nothing he needs to take care of. Just. He could totally sleep in.
But no. Even, with darker circles than he's had in weeks and a clipped tongue decorating his speech, dragged him from the mattress and into the shower.
“If I'm going, so’re you.”
“What?”
But really, that's all they'd said to each other this morning.
The point, Even wanted to say, is that I don't know how far I'm gonna make it today and having you around somehow… alleviates it. I don't know. I'm not gonna tell you that, though, because then you'll be worried all day long and neither of us nee--
“Even?”
He lifts his chin from where it was burrowed his elbow. Something soft in Isak's gaze make his stomach burn for a moment, like the concern there literally ate away at his second brain.
He quirks a brow in question. “Isak?”
It's apparent that Isak is.
Uh.
Nervous.
“Are you…” The younger boy reaches across the table with purpose, fingers still yielding as they ran across Even’s cheekbone. His eyes fall shut. “You… are a cat.”
“Hm?” Even’s brow quirks again.
“Never mind. Um. I know it's only, like, 10, but it doesn't take two to see you're not doing so hot.” Isak’s fingers are tracing the line of his jaw, the shell of his ear as he speaks and damn if that in of itself doesn't make Even sleepy--
“You still with me?”
“Yeah,” he mumbles, shifting back and forth to sit up properly. “I can't keep missing school, though.”
“Okay, so, like,” Isak gets up for a second, moving around the bench to sit beside Even instead. By themselves, it was a lot easier to be affectionate, way more simple than monitoring themselves around their friends. So, in moments like this, when they did find themselves alone in the courtyard, Isak found it effortless to wind an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulder and tug their sides together.
He also didn’t feel the need to suppress a shiver when Even let out a deep sigh from where he was nestled in Isak’s neck.
“What if…” He continued, swallowing as he felt the other boy continue to crawl into his lap. “What if, we just. You can pick up right here tomorrow, okay? Both of us want to go home, and…”
“You already had me gone when you let me lie here,” Even mumbled, and the admission really wasn’t meant to be humorous, but here Isak was, fuckin’... chuckling. “When did you wanna…”
“Even,” Isak wrapped his other arm around him, pressing a dry kiss to his temple. “Let’s go. Right now. I do not care.”
“What if they, like,” Even sighed something dramatic, and for the briefest moment, Isak was reminded of himself. “What if they call my parents, or something?”
Alright, well. “You sound like me,” He joked, pulling at his boyfriend by the shoulders to get him to shift around and face him properly. “If they do, I’m more than confident your parents will get it. Besides, don’t you have, like, a slip that lets you get out more often than others?”
Even shrugged, eyes downcast.
“Whatever,” Isak tried to half smile. “Are we going home, or what?”
And when the other boy didn’t reply, Isak had a short moment where he wanted to sort of piggy-back him home -- it took even less time to recognize there was exactly zero way that was happening. The older boy was already a deadweight on his shoulder, having to carry him like that would be more exhausting than trying to get out of bed in the first place.
They sat like that for-- it couldn’t have been more than a minute, really, but Isak felt like he spent at least an hour trying to come up with a good way to bring the other boy back to the kollektivet on his own two feet. He combed gentle fingers alone Even’s scalp in the meantime.
He swallowed. “If it’ll help. I can bring a joint.”
“I’ll bring my sparkling personality,” Even deadpanned, only adjusting himself when he felt Isak start to shake. “Wait, what?”
The younger boy had a palm over his eyes, mouth turned down as he tried to conceal-- laughter.
Something bloomed inside him.
“You’re so lame,” He tried, and that was it. Isak tried to pinch his lips in when Even scoffed indignantly, but that was it. It was too late.
“Excuse me,” Even tilted his head a little comically, leaning around so that he was kind of in front of his boyfriend. “I am the coolest person I know? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Jesus, can you-- you’re the most annoying person I know,” Isak looked up to save face, away from Even’s expression, but.
“Weird, ‘cause I’m doing an impression of… You?” His voice was choppy in all the right places, lilting up at the end and making Isak huff through another bout of little giggles that made Even’s chest swell.
“What!” He tried, pretending that matching flutter in his own chest wasn’t there when he saw the older boy giving him a toothy grin, eyes crinkled and just-- just fucking adorable.
+I)
Post-party Even was– in all honesty, was the one to know what time to go and to make sure Isak drank enough water before they went to bed. Not to say he didn't have fun in the same way, but like. Isak couldn't really say he was accustomed to leading his black-out drunk boyfriend up a dewy stairwell at two.
“Even,” he groaned, feeling excessively shameful for not watching a little closer. They'd separated about halfway through Vilde’s party, too pre-occupied with their own endeavors to make sure the other was doing alright after 23:00, and.
Isak really fucking wishes he did, right now. He pulled at Even’s wrist again as they got through the apartment, locking it behind himself quickly so that the older boy didn't get into any mischief while he took off his shoes.
“C’mon, go,” he pushed, elbowing Even repeatedly until he could get them to his room. “You're gonna feel so gross tomorrow.”
“Hey, so’re you,” Even shot back, closing the door maybe a little too quickly. Isak got his fingers out of the way in time, but still. Dude.
Even sank down the wall adjacent to the door to rest for a second (the walk home was pretty long, in all fairness) as he smiled dopily.
Isak couldn't help it as he sat down next to him. He shrugged at Even, looking at his own socks before he pulled out his phone.
“What're you doing?” Even asked, pawing at the device when Isak leaned away.
“Checking if blood-alcohol content can trigger mania, if I'm being honest,” He shrugged again, feeling the guilt make his ears go red.
“Isak,” He laughed softly, reaching out lamely with one arm to pat the other boy’s shoulder. “You really don’t have to worry about it. I’ll be hungover and stay in bed all day. If I feel weird, you’ll probably notice before I do. You’re pretty good at that.”
Isak still didn’t look up from where he sat against the door. He shrugged, almost enough to knock Even’s hand off.
“You had a lot to drink, is all. I don’t want you to, like, get angry with yourself or me because--”
“Why would I be angry over that? Babe, it happens. It’s gonna happen again. Being bipolar isn’t something… something to keep at bay. It’s brain chemistry. You’ve told me that a thousand times, especially when I can’t even remember it. It’s just part of who I am, it’s not like cancer we should have to be afraid of returning.”
Isak shot a glance up at him at the word bay, tears rimming his lashes. Even had to bite his tongue to keep going, but now that he’d finished, Isak didn’t… seem any better. He wasn’t sure that he expected him to. Didn’t mean he liked what he saw.
“Isak,” He sighed again, shifting forward a tad to get a proper grip on Isak’s shoulder so he could pull a little. “Come here.”
The younger boy conceded with a sigh of his own as he crawled forward on his knees to join Even against the wall adjacent to the door. Before Even could open his mouth again, Isak was throwing an arm over Even’s shoulder to tug him to his chest.
“Wh--”
“You scare me,” Isak let out a damp laugh, tousling Even’s hair with his free hand from where he held him in this… half-headlock, or. Yeah. “Jesus.”
“Same person, right?” Even grumbled, wrapping his arms around Isak’s waist to tuck into him further.
“Oh my-- Even. Are you still actually drunk? And you call me a lightweight?” He teased, ignoring Even’s little no! as he tugged at his shoulder again. “Oh, whatever. You. You’re insufferable. How about we go, like, take a shower, and then you’re gonna drink every milliliter of water I give you, and then we’re gonna go to bed.”
“Nnnn,” Even groaned. “We should just sleep here.”
“Eveeen,” He matched him with a whine of his own. “I just want to give you, like. Self esteem and blow jobs. Just let me do this.”
“Y--” Even could barely get the sound out before he was snapping his head up, looking at Isak with a breed of amusement he wasn't sure he'd ever seen. “You want to what?”
“Uh?” Isak quirked a brow, arm still hung loosely around Even’s shoulder as he started spluttering.
“What did you– Isak–” He laughed, dropping his forehead into the crest of Isak's neck. “You want to what?”
The younger boy could feel his own laughter bubbling in his chest, but decided to hang on to this for a bit longer. “I think you heard what I said?”
Even looked back up, little hums of laughter still escaping his lips as he bumped their noses together.
“That was gonna be the cutest thing you've ever said, and then– you fuckin’–”
“Why’s it so funny?” He chuckled, tilting his head to meet Even’s gaze a little better.
“Imagine,” Even smacked a kiss to his cheekbone. “Imagine if I was the one feeling sorry here, and I'm all mopey and worn out, and then I look at you, like,”
Even coughs into his elbow, steeling himself from laughing again before he settled properly in front of Isak with the most pronounced out the younger boy thought he could muster. He could tell Even was struggling to keep from smiling as he let out his own little pfft.
“But Isak–”
“You're so drunk,” they said simultaneously, making Even duck his head into Isak's chest again. “Oh my god.”
“Yeah, but you're laughing too, I can feel it,” Even pulled back again. “Now shut up. Let– Isak,” he was laughing again when Isak imitated his pout, pulling one of Even’s hand to his chest for effect.
“But Even,” he mocked, doing nothing to help Even try and get his point across. Both of them were laughing too much at this point for it work, anyway. “Your bandana totally ruined it. You might've got–”
“Excuse you!” Even cut him off. “I look great in this!”
“You look like you're attending fashion week,” Isak sneered a little, toothy smile completely giving him away. Even loved it.
“Maybe I am!” Even rose his eyebrows, trying to give him an indignant look as he bumped their noses together again. Isak’s little giggles were making him dissolve from the inside. Who was he kidding. “No, for real though. What if I was moping like you were and just, like, ‘awh, babe, why can't you just, like, let me raise your confidence and eat your ass, that's all I want here,’” he could barely get through it without laughing, let alone when Isak shoved at his chest.
“You– Even, Jesus Christ, you're such a hot mess,” Isak covered his face in his palms, and they were so–
“See!”
“That wasn't a compliment!”
They were so… happy.