Chapter Text
John Walker had never been so confused in his life. He didn’t want to dull his thoughts and feeling down to confusion, but truly, that’s what it was. He’d only ever had feelings for one person. His ex-wife. After things with her fell apart, so did his concepts on everything to do with love. Then, while that fell apart, Bob got thrown into the equation. Nothing about Bob stood out to John until he started caring for him way more than he should’ve. And that care? He turned out to be anything but good at hiding that around Bob. The others, sure. But not Bob.
He sat on his bed, eyes scanning the room in front of him. His desk, his TV, his dresser, he looked at all of it for the millionth time that day. Quiet weeks, while giving them a chance to rest and settle in, were also incredibly boring. Just as he brought out his phone to scroll, he heard a knock on his door. John yelled from inside the room, inviting the person in. Bob lightly opened the door, carefully holding two mugs in his hands. “Sorry, do you mind that I’m here?” He asked as he saw John sitting on his bed in sweats.
“Not at all, come in,” he cocked his head at the sight of mugs. “Did you make coffee?”
Bob cleared his throat. “Yeah, I did. It’s okay if you don’t want any I just-”
“I planned on making some but I didn’t want to have to deal with anyone else’s crap today. This is, uh, nice of you,” he said, slowly adjusting himself to stand and walk over.
Bob quickly moved to his side, holding his mug out. “Here,” John nodded, thanking him again. “I’ll leave you to it.”
“Wait,” he shot quickly. “Wanna stay in here with me for a bit? I have some questions about your power.”
“Sure, but just be careful. Coffee is really hot,” Bob agreed, trying to sound nonchalant. He sat at the chair next to John’s bed. “What’s up?”
John blew on his coffee, cooling it. “What can you do?”
“Honestly, I don’t know,” he quickly answered. “Me, Bob, I don’t remember doing anything revolutionary,” John studied his face, and something unfamiliar painted itself across his expression. “It’s almost like I wasn’t me–I know that sounds weird.”
He furrowed his brow in thought. “No, keep talking, I get it.”
Bob inhaled at the sound of his words. “I just can’t remember anything. All the things you guys said happened are so foreign to me.”
“And you don’t remember anything from the Void?” He questioned further.
He fiddled with his mug. “Nothing, not even from the Sentry either.”
John contemplated for a few moments. “Have tried doing anything with your power? Anything at all?”
“Nothing. I don’t want to hurt anyone,” Bob shook his head.
“Would you want to learn how to do it?” He countered, watching the gears in the other man’s head shift.
“Well, yeah! It would be awesome to have that kind of harness that power,” he began, more animated than before. John swore he saw a glimmer in his eyes. “But there’s also the Void. And who knows when it'll come back.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” he said, gesturing to a book on the edge of his nightstand. “Try to lift that book.”
“What?” Bob raised an eyebrow. “You just said I was right–I don’t know about this. There’s always the lingering threat of the Void and I don’t want to-”
“It’s just a book, Bobby. You’re acting like I would let something like the Void happen again,” Bob ignored his somewhat self-centered comment and focused on the book. John watched as he struggled; not saying a word.
After about a minute of pointless staring, he sighed. The hot coffee pressed firm into his grasp. “I have a stupid idea, and you’re not going to like it,” before John could protest, Bob took his hand and shoved his fingers into the hot mug of coffee. He winced, taking that feeling of pain and channeling it into his power. The book launched off the floor and hit the ceiling with a loud bang. It came back down with another bang.
“Shit,” John exhaled, suddenly on his feet and by the table. “Impressive, but…” He reached out and grabbed Bob’s wrist. His fingers were fine, very minor burns were left.
He bit his lip as John’s fingers lightly touched his. “Proves my theory. Emotions and feelings link to my powers.”
John’s face seemed compelled. “It’s smart, yeah. But you shouldn’t have to be in physical pain every time you want to-”
“Hey!” Yelena’s distinctive voice carried through his closed door. “Quit throwing shit, you just woke me up!”
“Calm down, it’s 6pm,” John scoffed, letting go of Bob’s fingers and walking to the bathroom. He ignored Yelena’s comments as she walked away and ran the sink on cold water. He took a washcloth and soaked it, ringing it out before bringing it to Bob. “Here, for your hand.”
“Thank you,” Bob grabbed the cloth. “Sorry about this.”
He chuckled a bit. “Sorry? I told you to do it, dude. How about this? Tomorrow, at 3pm, we meet in the training room. We can work out some other way of utilizing your power,” Bob stayed quiet, a bit taken aback by his offer. “I guarantee you’ll get something out of it.”
He looked up at John. “3pm?”
“I’ll see you there.”
—
John took a deep breath and rammed his fists into the punching bag in front of him. Beads of sweat rolled down his face and into his work-out shirt. The bag, a super enforced specially made super soldier bag, swung with every punch he threw. A few minutes of hitting passed when he heard the door to the gym open.
“Hey, Bob,” He huffed, brushing some damp hair out of his face. “You ready?”
Bob nodded expectantly. “What are we doing?” He scanned the over-expensive home gym Valentina installed as John walked over to the weights and picked up a medicine ball.
“Alright,” he dropped it in front of Bob on the mat. “Lift this.”
He blinked at him. Did he not remember the night before? “Uh… I don't think I can just do that.”
“Try,” John scoffed. “There’s no harm in trying.”
“You say that now,” he chuckled, focusing on the ball. John watched as he locked his vision in, then out, trying his best. Yet he couldn’t. The ball stayed stagnant. “I don’t know- I can’t do this without something to help.”
John chewed his lip a bit, thinking. “What makes you mad?” He didn’t know what he was planning. Not even a bit. “Or sad, I guess.”
“That’s stupid, Walker,” Bob raised an eyebrow.
He shrugged, dead serious. “You said it yourself, emotions and feelings link to your power. Let’s do another test.”
Bob looked at the ball again, somewhat over it. “I don’t know. I guess I don’t like how I’m second to everyone,” he looked up at John, meeting his expectant eyes then looking away. “My whole life I’ve been an outsider, less than everyone, just… kind of different. My town, my family, in Asia, even with you guys sometimes. I’m not like anyone else. And- and that’s not fair,” John noticed he grew more animated with every word. “I want to fit in, but I can’t,” his voice broke an almost unnoticeable amount, and the ball flew up. This time it didn’t hit the ceiling, just hovered mid air. John inspected Bob, careful not to let him get too upset, but he looked anything but that. He looked almost fascinated with the ball, eyes bright.
“Bob?” He carefully reached out and placed a strong hand on his shoulder. After a few seconds of silence he spoke again. “Hey, Bobby- you alright there?”
Bob shook his head as if he were snapping out of a trance. “Uh, yeah,” the ball fell. “That seemed to work. For a bit.”
John thought again. The emotional strain worked to bring out his powers, but he didn’t know how bad it affected Bob. And nobody wanted another Void incident. “Let’s do something else. I gotta think on how we’re going to harness that power of yours.”
“We?” Bob asked like a child.
“I’m invested now,” he shoved his shoulder. “What kind of teammate would I be if I didn’t help you see it through?” Immediately, he bit his words and began a new topic. “Alright, hit me.”
Bob raised a curious eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“I mean hit me. I’ll block, you just focus on trying to do any damage,” he answered plainly, holding his fists up and ready to block. “C’mon. Give me what you got.”
He threw a punch with a ton of hesitation–exactly what John expected.
“Alright,” he backed away a few steps. “Follow my lead.”
They fell into a learning groove. John would demonstrate different moves and fighting tactics and Bob would mimic them to the best of his ability. It took him a while to use his full strength, and once he did John learned two things; Bob was fantastic at mimicking people, and apparently he had incredible strength when not holding back. He intentionally let Bob hit him in the stomach and almost started wheezing. Although apologetic for all of the blows, John saw Bob growing more confident. And that was just what he wanted.
“Good work, Bob,” John said after taking another hefty hit. “Let’s change it up, yeah? I’m gonna hit back.”
“Okay,” he held his fists up and swung, John blocking him quickly. John let him pull back in, and he slowly went to hit him. Bob blocked his punch and backed up a bit. They fell into a slow paced rhythm. Bob would hit, John would block and hit back. “Quit pulling your punches,” Bob murmured, brushing some damp hair out of his face.
“You don’t want that,” He chuckled, winding up for another blow.
Bob blocked him, cocking his head. “C’mon, John,” he went hit his side but John grabbed his outstretched arm and laid a pulled punch into his unguarded side. “You pulled it, again.”
John’s eyebrows furrowed. “Alright, fine,” he swiftly kicked out Bob’s legs, sending him down to the mat, swearing. “Happy?”
He looked up at him, slowly sitting up. “Actually, yeah. You’re showing me what I have to learn to beat.”
“Pfft. You can try,” John held his hand out for Bob to grab. Bob slowly took a hold of his hand, but as soon as he got a good hold he pulled him down. John fell to his back, and Bob swung himself on top of him. He pulled his fists back, giving him a raised eyebrow.
“I can try?” He teased, laughing at the position. Their eyes met and John caught a hit of gold in his blue eyes.
John lay there, a bit defeated. Bob offered a hand and he took it while stumbling to his feet. “Shut up.”
Bob laughed, running a hand through his hair. He grabbed his belongings and began to walk out the door. “Thanks for this.”
He nodded, grabbing his water and taking a sip. “Want to do this again? It could be a good way for both of us to grow,” fuck, that sounded stupid and nerdy.
Before his thoughts could eat him alive Bob responded. “Totally. But, let’s just keep this to ourselves. Bucky and Yelena might kill both of us if they know I am starting to use my powers.”
John grinned stupidly to himself. “Yeah, of course.”
The two met up almost every day for a week, and John started actually trying to win. And he was losing. Bob turned out to be surprisingly good at fighting. He utilized his powers unprovoked when they would fight, and the constant use seemed to be doing something.
When Mel finally sent out new tasks, they were in the form of a text. Bucky and Alexei, shopping. Yelena and Ava, decorating. Bob and John, cooking. John, though envious of Yelena and Ava’s work, liked cooking.
“So,” John started as he walked into the gym next to Bob. “What do you want to cook tonight?”
He hummed. “Maybe something with pasta. I don’t know.”
“Pasta sounds good. I think we have a few boxes from when you and Bucky went shopping,” he threw his water in the corner and grabbed a medicine ball. Something Bob was beginning to know all too well.
“I think I’ll be able to do this today,” he cracked his neck. “I’ve been feeling a lot more confident with it.”
A red flag went up in John’s head. Bob’s words didn’t quite mean much, but something about his attitude changed. “Good, just don’t get too cocky on me now.”
He smiled, focusing in. His hand clenched, then unclenched, then repeated. He stared at the ball, and for a moment John thought it shuffled. “Damn. I don’t think-” his shoulders drooped, and as he went to shrug to play it off, the ball flew to the right.
John flinched as it hit the wall. It took him a second to go from shock to joy. He patted Bob’s shoulder and let his hand linger there. “Nice work, Bob.”
“Thanks. I… I don’t even know how I did that,” Bob said, eyes darting from John to his hand. When he realized he might have been holding him for a bit too long, he quickly brought it back and hoped he wasn’t turning red.
“Let’s try again,” They continued for a countless amount of time, working on the kinks and learning more about what he could accomplish. So far, there were two things he could do unprompted. Lifting items (they found that weight didn’t exactly matter) and miniscule amounts of levitation. Bob even started using his powers to his advantage during their fights by throwing items to distract or hit John. He was getting pretty damn good.
Their session got interrupted by Yelena’s voice booming over the gym intercom. “Bobbb!” She yelled “Walkerrrr! Are you making dinner or what?”
They stopped mid-fight and locked eyes. The clock read 6pm, dinner was in 30 minutes. John cleared his throat. “Pasta?”
“Let’s go,” not having any time to stop and change, they walked into the common room covered in sweat and still in workout clothes.
“Bob, Walker!” Alexei boasted as the two came into sight from his chair. “It’s about time. Where have you been?”
Bob immediately put a pot of water on the stove. “Just working out.”
“Mhm,” John reiterated, grabbing some onions, garlic, tomatoes and pasta from the fridge and pantry.
“Since when have you been working out together?” Yelena nagged from the couch.
John brought a cutting board out. “A week. Or so,” he started to chop various vegetables and put them into another pot.
“O-kay…” She said cautiously, immersing herself in her phone before forming any real thought on the matter.
Bob and John fell into a rhythm, like fighting. Somehow, they ended up finishing right before the team dinner time at 6:30. A simple pasta with a special red sauce, something John had been saving up to use at a night like this. One by one, the group slowly filled the counter, taking their seats and plates of food. No deep conversation ate away at the table, just comfortable small talk. For the first time in forever, the team felt… well, like a team. Everything stayed peaceful among them until a fork clattered from the end of the island. Heads turned to Bob, who looked dazed, fork clattered in his pasta and eyes wide.
“You alright Bob?” Ava asked, nudging him. He didn’t move, just stayed staring and shaking slightly. “Bob?” She asked again.
Bucky’s head darted forward. “You aren’t choking, right?”
Bob slowly shook his head. “No,” he said in a choppy voice, still shaking.
“What’s going on then?” Yelena shook him a bit. “Bob? Earth to B-”
“The Void-” he breathed, grip tightening. “I remember.”
The silence was deafening. No one knew whether or not to speak out of fear of potentially causing another incident. “Oh,” Yelena said after a pause.
Ava nudged him again. “It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault,” Bob stood rapidly as she tapped him, quickly leaving the room without saying another word.
The remaining five looked to each other, to the door, then back to each other again. No one knew what to say, or if to follow. Alexei furrowed his eyebrows, speaking first. “This is so random. He has not used his powers, yes?”
Yelena nodded quickly. “Yeah. Maybe his brain took some time off? Or maybe it is just unfortunately random-”
“No, I don’t think it’s random.” John interrupted, looking guilty.
Ava snickered, fed up at the sound of his contribution. John still didn’t know what her problem was. “Alright Mr. Know-it-all-Walker, go on,” Yelena quickly shushed her.
Bucky stood. “What do you know, Walker?” He stared at him. John stared back, fiddling with his nails. “Walker.”
John took a deep breath, accepting his fate. “He’s been using his powers. We’ve been training,” just as he was about to get yelled at, he continued. “In moderation. I haven’t let anything get out of hand, we’ve been more safe than you could probably imagine-”
“What do you mean, training?” Bucky asked.
“Throwing shit, super strength, I don’t know,” he lowered his voice, “maybe a bit of levitation.”
Yelena scoffed. “Levitation, Walker? What the hell?”
“Hey, the guy has some serious skill if you’d just let him-”
“What? Not the point!” Yelena yelled. “You’re putting him at risk. You remember what happened last time. He can’t handle that yet.”
He glared at her. “We don’t even know what caused the Void. He beat all of our asses as the Sentry without a single speck of the ‘other guy’, Yelena. He isn’t a baby, he’s a grown man who can be responsible,” John got out of his chair and started to follow Bob’s steps. “We can’t keep treating him like he’s less than us. Like he’s different. I ain’t right and you know it,” he walked out, not letting the others protest.
John made his way through the living quarters, trying to figure out which room Bob stayed in. Kill him if he didn’t know, it was a big building. Eventually he got to the last door, tucked away in the corner, away from everything. He slowly approached the door and knocked lightly. “Bob? It’s John. Can I come in?”
No answer. Maybe he didn’t stay there? John reached out and jiggled the door knob. It was open. “I’m coming in,” he announced, pushing into the dark, cold space. Immediately, he noticed Bob curled up on his twin-sized bed in the corner. He was staring at the wall rubbing his hands against his arms. He desperately tried to wipe his tears away when he saw John. “What’s going on?”
Bob shook his head curling up more against his wall. John walked in further. His room was simple, a bed with a quilt, a dresser and a small rug. It almost seemed sad. To his left a closed door led to what he guessed to be a bathroom. “Do you want to… Talk? I guess? I-”
“Why are you here, Walker?” Bob said dryly.
He shrugged, taking a seat next to him on his bed. “I want to make sure you’re all right,” he curled his legs up and nudged right next to him, shoulders almost touching. “And I know it’s not easy.”
Bob chucked through his tears that he was trying to hide. “It’s all my fault. You should hate me.”
“No, don’t you say that,” John said. “You weren’t yourself; literally. Don’t go off and blame yourself for things you can’t control. Trust me, it gets you nowhere,” he stayed curled up and tried not to break. “It’s okay to show emotion, y’know. Men like us… they aren't used to being able to express themselves. God, my therapy is showing, isn't it?” Bob let out a soft laugh again. “Should I go?”
“Please stay,” he replied quickly as if he had just seconds to speak.
John obliged, still next to him on his bed. “I’m not going anywhere,” he muttered. Bob began to cry and it didn’t slow, neither did his grip on himself. John sat there, stumped. Bob stayed obviously in shambles, and if there was one thing John couldn’t do it was comfort people. Slowly and methodically, he took his hand and wrapped it around Bob’s shoulder. For a second, he tensed and John thought he’d fucked up. As he went to apologize, he leaned into the crook of his shoulder. “You’re alright,” John comforted, almost instinctively.
Bob cried his eyes out, huffing and shaking. John’s arm didn’t waver, it stayed, grounding him. Slowly but surely, his breathing slowed and the sobs stopped. They stayed like that till Bob was quiet, softly snoring. John’s heart ached as he slowly leaned him down on his bed, pulling his covers over his shoulder and brushing his hair away from his wet face. For a moment, John stared. He shamefully thought he looked beautiful like that. Dark eyes swollen, mouth agape, nose still running from his sobbing. It killed him that he thought such a thing.
“G’night Bobby,” John whispered, pulling the covers just a bit tighter and leaving his room.
—
The next morning, the whole world seemed tense. The cold early winter weather wasn’t helping, nor the fog covered the city. John woke at 5am out of habit, forcing himself to the kitchen. No one had awakened, not even the sun. He put a pot of coffee on and began scrabbling some eggs in a pan. After a while, he heard the doors swoosh open.
“Walker,” Bucky greeted, nodded respectfully.
John flipped the pan onto a bigger plate. “Good morning, Bucky. Do you want any eggs?”
He shook his head. “No, thanks,” He opened the fridge and grabbed a pre-made smoothie. “How’s Bob?”
“Uh…” he shrugged.
“You went and saw him, right?” Bucky took a seat at the counter. “Or did you leave me with your dishes for nothing?”
John scoffed. “Yeah, I checked in on him. We didn’t talk much, just sat.”
Bucky sipped his drink, eyebrows raised. “And he’s okay?”
“I don’t know,” he answered plainly. Bucky pulled his phone out and stared. John took a seat next to him and began to eat his eggs. A few moments of uncomfortable silence later, Yelena walked in. She had a respectable amount of sweat on her, and was wearing workout clothes.
She stayed silent, opening the fridge and taking out a yogurt. “I just ran 5 miles, what have you been doing?”
“Wow, Yelena. Not even a good morning,” John shot back.
Yelena gave him a stern glare. “No, not for you,” she threw her hands up for a moment, spoon in one and yogurt in the other. “I checked on him this morning, not that you cared to. He was curled up, and he looked like he’d been crying, the poor thing.”
John’s jaw tightened. He wanted to smack the yogurt right into her face. “Actually, I’ll have you know I did check on him. I stayed with him last night till he fell asleep,” John probably shouldn’t have been sharing that information, but he really wanted to prove Yelena wrong. “No one came and checked on him, but I did. And I’ll say this again, Bob isn’t a little boy. He's a grown ass man.”
“Enough,” Bucky huffed, slamming his plastic cup down. “You don’t have to argue over him. Congratulations, you both checked in on Bob. Let’s move on,” the two looked away from each other and continued their eating in peace—even though John wanted to strangle Yelena.