Chapter Text
Lamine’s eyes were hyperfocused on Pau’s lips, still in a state of shock.
Pau smiled, and Lamine gulped, trying his best to rid of the knot in his throat. He stirred under Pau’s gaze, wondering if it was safe to make the first move, if he would feel this nervous around Sara.
The defender’s bright green eyes held something inexplicable in them, and Lamine wanted to figure out what exactly they hid.
When Pau tilted his head at the silence, Lamine quickly pressed his lips against his.
He was hesitant, but he was sure.
The other boy stiffened as Lamine lips relaxed against his, he hadn’t closed his eyes. Lamine could tell, feeling the other’s gaze behind his shut eyelids. He began to panic slightly, moving his hand to rest gently on the other boy's arm, silently asking if he was okay.
Once he felt Pau relax against him relief hit his body.
Pau returned the small peck.
Lamine’s stomach churned at Pau’s reaction, but it wasn’t disgust that pooled in his lower stomach, it was a feeling he couldn’t quite place. They were unmoving, yet to separate from each other's lips, even if a small peck wasn’t supposed to last as long as theirs did.
He pulled away first, his arm still lay on Pau’s arm where he placed it earlier. Lamine tried reading his expression as he backed away slightly, wondering if Pau also felt a kaleidoscope of butterflies eating away at his insides.
The guilt took over his body as they separated, Lamine wanted to look up, to see Pau’s reddened face and soft eyes looking into his.
Instead he closed his eyes, trying to disguise the ache he felt in his bones, shivers running through his body. It was wrong, but it felt good. The conflicting thoughts clouded his mind, and a wave of nausea crashed over him. Pau’s voice startled Lamine out of his thoughts
“That felt nice, Sara would love that.” Lamine laughed hollowly, barely processing the words.
“Yeah, I'm sure Lucia would too.” Lamine’s shy voice responded. It was Pau’s turn to laugh, as emotionless as the one Lamine let out earlier. He didn’t want to think about the implications, pushing them further into his mind.
Pau leaned back against the couch cushions, and Lamine copied his actions mindlessly.
-
Lamine woke up in a panic, wild curls stuck to his forehead. Sweaty and disoriented, he reached over to check his phone where it lay face up on the couch.
Pau 's couch.
His movements grew quicker as he realized he had fallen asleep.
The bright light of his lockscreen hit his eyes, wincing as he checked the time on the dimly lit screen, the white numbers flashing back at him.
Lamine let out a sigh of relief at the time, it was only eight-thirty.
Glancing over to where Pau rested, he got up slowly, careful to not make any noise.
Lamine struggled to keep quiet as he got closer to the older boy, stifling a laugh at his soft snores. He looked at peace, a calmness reflected on Pau’s sleeping face that was a rare sight in recent weeks. The thought of Pau’s recent mood shift conflicted Lamine, he wanted to pick apart the other’s thoughts and find the cause of his change.
He reached over and brushed the stray hairs from his face, quickly retracting his hand as Pau stirred, letting out a small groan.
He wore a fond smile at Pau's reaction before leaning in to kiss his forehead gently, ignoring the layer of sweat that would cover his lips from the action.
“Goodnight Pau.” Lamine whispered, grabbing his keys from where they were left on the counter and closing the front door behind him.
-
In the car Lamine rested his head on the steering wheel, not having the energy to turn on the engine and head home.
Sara came to mind as he sat in the driver's seat, he looked at himself in the rearview mirror, the glare from the front porch light of Pau’s house hitting his face. He thought of Sara and her tan skin, her brown eyes and her long curly hair. It took everything in him to not compare her to Pau.
But then his thoughts drifted.
He thought about Pau’s almost mocking head tilt before the kiss, the way the other accepted his request without a second thought and just let Lamine relish in that victory. He thought about the rules he had made last week when the idea springed into his mind, and how Sara was the complete opposite of Pau.
Lamine felt the bile rise in his throat, he felt sick and guilty. He didn’t understand the urge he had to compare the two most important people in his life, and why he succumbed so easily to making those comparisons.
The winger scoffed, igniting the engine and raising the radio to max volume, desperate to drown out his own thoughts. He rubbed his eyes harshly, trying to get rid of the image of Pau that was fresh on his mind, before placing the car in reverse.
-
They won 2-0 against Sevilla, a goal from Olmo and another from Lamine himself.
It had been 2 weeks since Lamine last scored a goal, he celebrated at the away end again. Not bothering with the fake-humble act. He was young, he was good, and he deserved to show off. The rest of the team followed behind him, Fermin ruffling his hair as he shouted something Lamine didn’t catch, his focus on Pau.
Pau who was still halfway across the pitch, looking anywhere but the team. Lamine’s laugh lost its confidence at the realization, Pau never missed a chance for a celebration together. His previous worries returned by the action.
He convinced himself it was nothing.
-
It had been 2 weeks since the game against Sevilla during a morning practice session, when Pau still wasn’t his normal self again. Lamine was growing frustrated, wanting nothing more than to reach out to the older boy and ask him to explain himself. But he knew it wasn’t his place, and he knew he was too stubborn to contact the other first, even if it had been weeks with no contact other than glances during drills and the occasional “Good one, Lamine.” Pau threw his way.
He hadn’t realized he zoned out until Pedri nudged his forehead.
“Get up brother, everyone's already outside and you’re just staring into space.” The midfielder spoke fondly, a hint of amusement in his voice.
Lamine nodded quickly, gathering his things and shoving them messily into his locker. He’d worry about it later.
Walking into training he scanned the pitch anxiously, wondering who he could pair up with for drills. His eyes latched onto Pau, wondering if he got over whatever was causing the boy to avoid him.
Pau was laughing, and Lamine smiled before he could stop himself. Only to realize he was laughing at Fort, his smile dropping as he took in the scene in front of him.
Fort was leaning towards Pau with a hand covering his mouth, he must’ve been telling the funniest joke on earth if Pau’s laughter had anything to say about it. His arm was wrapped around Pau’s waist as the younger tilted his head back at Fort’s words.
Lamine looked away, shoulders tense as he took note of Balde. The other boy jogged over to him from where he stood next to Fermin and Raphina, who were already passing a ball to each other.
“Hey, wanna run drills?” Balde was already out of breath, any other day Lamine would’ve laughed but today he just nodded. Not finding the words to reply without sounding upset
The last thing he wanted was for Alejandro to ask him what was up, and he let himself be pulled over to the space next to Fermin and Rapha. They both shot him a quick smile before focusing on their own stuff, Lamine didn’t reciprocate. He felt the pity behind the action.
After training, he spared one last glance at Pau. Still clinging onto Fort.
Lamine didn’t notice the worried glance Alejandro gave him as he stormed into to the locker room.
-
It was 6pm when Lamine decided he missed Pau.
He was laying in bed doomscrolling reels, not having anything to do. Sara was out with her friends and the rest of the team was busy with their own stuff. Lamine hated to admit it, but those last 2 weeks were the loneliest.
Opening messages, he clicked on Pau’s contact.
Lamine typed out a message he didn’t plan on sending, his frustration seeping through the words he spelt out. He wanted Pau to feel as he did. He was angry at Pau’s lack of communication and his lack of courage to reach out, instead ignoring whatever was clearly wrong between them.
He wrote a long paragraph, more than he ever submitted on any school assignments. The words he wrote were tainted with anger and disappointment, not only towards Pau but towards himself as well.
Lamine read over the message once, before highlighting the words and pressing “delete” yet to reach the confidence to reach out and let Pau in.
He sighed softly before twisting in his bedsheets, his comforter was freshly washed. Lamine tried to enjoy the lavender scent, pretending he didn't miss the smell of Pau that would linger on his pillows after he came over. He never let Pau take the floor.
Noticing that the sun was beginning to set, Lamine got up.
He needed to talk to Pau.
-
The wind blew softly against his skin as he rang the doorbell of Pau’s house, goosebumps covering his arms.
A minute passed before he heard the door creak open hesitantly, Lamine’s breath hitched at the sight of the defender. He hadn't been in such close proximity to him in weeks.
Lamine wanted to be angry at him, to say everything he had written in that message aloud before storming off.
Instead he pushed open the door fully, throwing himself into Pau’s arms.
Lamine heard the other boy gasp at the action before he reciprocated, gripping onto him like a lifeline.
Letting out a breath he was unaware he was holding; Lamine promptly burst into tears.
Pau froze, unmoving under Lamine’s warmth. The winger figured he had felt his tears through his thin t-shirt.
Recovering quickly, Pau began to rub circles on Lamine’s back. His breathing began to slow, wrecked sobs turning into silent tears after a few moments in their embrace.
Reluctantly, Lamine pulled away from Pau. His green eyes bore a sadness, and worry etched into Pau’s eyebrows as he swept away any stray tears.
Lamine glanced away, staring at the grey wall as if the most beautiful mural had suddenly appeared before him. Anything to avoid the look Pau gave him.
The younger boy didn’t cry often, everyone knows that.
But Lamine's ego is as fragile as it is high, and the frustration from Pau’s actions bubbled over with one look, before he could regulate himself and convince his mind he was okay.
They held each other in the doorway for another while, tension carrying in the air as Pau detached himself from Lamine.
“Hey, Lamine, look at me for a sec.” Pau whispered, his hand still resting on the other’s face.
Lamine lifted his face, desperately attempting to calm his expression before making eye contact with the older. The courage he had when he drove over now gone.
“Okay, 'm looking” he mumbled, ears tinted with a red hue.
Pau stifled a laugh at his response and Lamine punched him in the arm, a small smile appearing on his face. He kept smiling as the pair made their way up to Pau’s room, happy that the normalcy he was so used to was making it's return.
Even if he could tell Pau’s smile was strained, and that an awkwardness lingered in their interactions, he was glad to be by his side again.
-
They sat on the bed in silence when Pau began to speak.
“Lamine, why are you here?”
The younger’s eyes widened in shock at the question, debating whether it was a joke or not.
Judging by Pau’s genuinely curious tone, he got his answer.
“Why am I here? Are you seriously asking me that, Pau? You’ve been avoiding me for weeks!” Lamine cried, suddenly feeling stupid for even entertaining the thought that the distance between them weighed on Pau’s consciousness as well.
“And I know I’m stubborn, Gavi never misses a chance to tell me. I know I should've reached out but that still doesn’t explain why you won't even glance at me outside of training anymore.” Lamine spoke fast, almost tripping over his words. He was slightly out of breath as he studied Pau’s face, he looked almost guilty as if Lamine was something to feel pity for.
He shut his eyes harshly, unable to look at Pau any longer.
“Was it the kiss?” Lamine mumbles, eyes still closed. Everything began to click in his head.
The kiss. The avoidance.
He was surprised when Pau spoke up.
“No!” the older nearly shrieked as he spoke for the first time since they stepped foot in the room. Lamine opened his eyes to look at him, gaze questioning. Mirroring Pau’s anteriorly confused expression.
“I mean that’s not it. I told you I didn’t have a problem with the kiss, you even made the rules to make me more comfortable and I admire that. I would’ve told you if that was what was wrong.” Pau shifted closer to Lamine, shaking his head while explaining himself.
Lamine simply stared.
“What was it then? I just want to understand.” His tone turned desperate.
Pau glanced at his phone before letting out a soft sigh.
“It was Lucia, she said wasn’t fond of how much time I spent with you. She said that people talk, and that she just wants me to be careful”
Lamine was confused. What idea? What wrong is Pau doing by hanging out with him? He scoffed without thinking, rolling his eyes at the reasoning for all of this.
“What wrong idea?” He laughed as he said it, and Pau smiled sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck.
“Honestly? I have no clue, but me and her haven’t been on the best terms so I took it as a chance to go out with her more. Get away from all the football for a bit you know?” Pau reached over to check something on his phone as he spoke.
“Yeah, shit sorry for being so intense. I get it.” Lamine’s face flushed, the embarrassment from how he acted earlier clawing away at him.
“Don’t worry about it really, I should've just been upfront about it to you.” Pau replied, moving so he could lay down on the bed. Lamine watched him as he stared up at the ceiling silence filling the room.
Lamine settled down beside him, too tired to get up.
His heart was heavy in his chest as he turned to look at Pau, the distance between them disappearing in the queen-sized bed.
The heavy feeling disappeared when Pau mimicked his action.
There was a smile on Pau’s face, and it hit Lamine like a drug.
He wasted no time leaning in.
All the stress that accumulated in the last week seemed to leave his body the second his lips pressed against Pau’s.
Pau let out a soft breath against Lamine, wrapping his arms around the younger’s neck. Lamine grinning at the feeling of being caged against the other boy.
Breaking away from the kiss, Lamine wet his lips.
“You sure about this?”
Pau nodded, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Lamine’s mouth.
A flip switched in Lamine at the tender act, hands moving to grip Pau’s waist. He could feel the other let out a small huff of breath, lips grazing his.
Pau’s lips were softer than last time, pliant, as if they were made for Lamine. Maneuvering his hand on Pau’s waist, he pulled the older closer.
Lamine’s tongue darted out to swipe against Pau’s bottom lip, rules forgotten as he pressed into the defender’s mouth. His mouth was warm and tasted like.. cacaolat?
Interrupting the kiss, Lamine froze. Dropping his head on the other’s shoulder as his body shook with laughter.
“What’s funny?” Pau’s arms dropped from where they were placed around Lamine’s neck, confusion evident in his voice.
Lamine spoke in between laughs.
“Cuba, you taste like-” He looked up at the other boy, laughing harder at his dumbfounded stare.
“You taste like cacaolat.”
“So?” Pau’s face twisted into one of cluelessness, probably wondering what warranted such a reaction from Lamine.
“Nothing! It just reminded me of that one picture of you when you were like six with the caption “tindran cacaolat?” and I couldn't help it." Lamine wiped away a tear, clutching his stomach at the thought.
“You stopped our makeout session over a meme?” Pau questioned as he pulled back to stare at Lamine.
When the younger nodded Pau shoved him off the bed, joining Lamine’s growing laughter as he hit the floor with a thud.
They laughed for a moment, Lamine sprawled out on the floor as a comfortable silence took over the room.
-
The lights were off, and Lamine had already made himself comfortable from his makeshift bed on the floor, Pau had brought up a few bedsheets from the guest room, it being too late for Lamine to go home.
“Lamine? I think we broke a rule.” Pau said from his bed,
Lamine paused for a second, thinking back on the rules.
“Oh shit, I think we did.” Lamine replied.
They burst into giggles in sync.
-
rule #1 - no tongue (no offense but ew dude)
rule #2 - no telling ANYONE this is strictly between us
rule #3 - no sharing beds i don’t want it to get weird sorry
rule #4 - no kissing in the locker rooms god forbid we get a lecture from flick or pedri
rule #5 - if we break up with our girlfriends this ends.