Chapter Text
Poe opened the door to Classroom 1A, walking in and quietly handing a stack of papers to Aizawa. The agreement with Nedzu was to not do any classroom lectures, so it was left up to Aizawa to inform them of what the otherworldly pair had noticed needed work. From the moment these papers left his hand until the moment they were to do practical heroics again, they weren’t his problem.
Poe had gone back to his room to grab the papers, but Aizawa had slipped out of the dorms before he could give them to him. He was curious as to whether or not the man had eaten, but judging by the small bento box to the side, Yamada had made sure Aizawa would eat.
Aizawa’s hand grabbed the papers and set them down, “Thank you,” he said. Then, he looked at the class, “Now, the following is a report on your actions during yesterday’s practical heroics class, made by Edogawa and Poe. You will listen to the reports and try to work on your faults for next time. So-”
Poe waited a moment, then turned to leave.
“Aizawa-sensei!” The pink girl shouted, her hand bursting upwards.
With a sigh, Aizawa answered, “What is it?”
Just as Poe reached the door, grabbing the handle, the girl responded, “Will they come back to give us pointers during training sessions?” and looked at him expectantly.
Of course, the master architect wouldn’t respond. He swiftly passed the door and closed it.
“That depends,” He heard from the other side, “on whether they want to or not.”
Poe sighed and walked away. He stared at the floor with each step he took. *Why would I want to help out those random children?* He took a mental pause, *Although that would mean Ranpo and I would get more information to work with. But is it really worth it to stick around like that? Hm, but it may make it easier to go home...*
Eventually, he just sighed and slumped down, *I’ll ask Ranpo.*
The master architect opened the door to the dorms and moved inside. His foot hit something, and he paused. He looked down and noticed a cardboard box.
*Someone ordered something,* he thought. Then, he looked at the name. If he could know whose it was, he would be able to put it outside their door- *Ranpo? What would- oh, it must be candy.*
Poe carried the small box over to Ranpo’s door and raised his hand to knock.
Suddenly, it flung open, which gave Poe a heart attack and he died--not really, but it felt like it. He screamed and jumped back in sheer panic.
“Is my package here?” Ranpo asked with a bright smile, hand still on the doorknob.
Poe gasped for air, hunching over and placing a hand on his chest so he could breathe, “Y-Yes...” He huffed, as he lifted the package up above his head to hand to Ranpo.
“Perfect! I was getting bored of that boring old grey!” Ranpo dropped the doorknob and grabbed the package with both hands. He placed it on his bed, then looked at Poe, “Are you coming in or what?”
“H-Huh?” He wheezed, before being dragged in by the collar, the door slamming behind him. “What- What are-?!”
“Relax!” Ranpo let go and sat on the bed, grabbing the box and opening it. He pulled out a small clear package with what looked like colored rectangles. “Here!” he said, handing one of them to Poe.
“What is this?” He flipped it over and noticed the design of ‘Kuromi’ on it, but there was a hole at the top, “Oh, dear, I think it’s messed up.”
“It is?”
“There’s a hole.”
“No, that’s supposed to be there.”
“Supposed to?”
“For the camera.” Ranpo watched Poe’s puzzled expression before sighing, “It’s a case to protect your phone. See, I have my Pompompurin one!” He held up his case.
“Oh!” Poe nodded in understanding, “That makes sense!”
“You get Kuromi and I get Pompompurin! I also ordered screen protectors.” Ranpo pulled his case out of the bag and reached for his phone to take it off the charger.
Poe smiled excitedly, “Thank you for ordering this for me, Ranpo!”
“I got one too, it isn’t *that* crazy.” Ranpo tilted his head as he looked up at Poe, before he pressed his phone into the case with a ‘pop!’
“Still, I am very grateful!” Poe grabbed his phone from his pocket and popped it into the case Ranpo had given him.
“Cute, right?” Ranpo grinned.
“Very!” Poe nodded enthusiastically.
“Now, then,” the detective said, reaching into the box once more and pulling out two more boxes, “here’s your screen protector.”
Poe thanked him and took the box. He opened it to find a clear lens-looking thing.
Ranpo pointed at the screen protector, sitting slightly higher, “You take the film off of that and align it with your phone screen.”
“Alright, I see!” The master architect peeled off the film.
“Oh, but wipe your screen first!”
“O-Okay!” Poe scrambled to get the wipes. He wiped his screen and applied the screen protector. It was perfectly aligned, with no air bubbles! He’s not one to toot his own horn--okay, maybe he is--but it was quite impressive.
“Awh shucks,” Ranpo sighed, looking down at his phone screen defeatedly.
The master architect looked over curiously, “What’s wrong?”
“Mine’s lined up all wonky.” Ranpo held it out for Poe to see. It was ever so slightly tilted, and off-center by a small margin.
“Don’t worry, dear Ranpo!” Poe shouted in response, “It isn’t *that* bad!”
“Yeah, but it’s still bad.” The detective clicked his tongue and pointed up at Poe, “You’re supposed to say it looks perfect no matter how it appears, don’t you know?”
Poe flinched, then scrambled to get it right, “Oh! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say- it- I think-”
“It’s no use,” Ranpo sighed and shook his head, “Besides, I was joking.”
With a wave of relief hitting him, Poe slumped, “Though, I do still think it looks good!”
“Don’t lie to me,” the detective crossed his arms, “You suck at it, so at least do better before you try to fool *me*, the Great Detective Ranpo Edogawa!”
“But I wasn’t-”
“I was joking.” Ranpo smirked and stood up, leaving his arms slightly outward, “Welp! Looks like you won against me in screen protector placing!”
Poe’s eyes widened and he looked down at his phone in dazed excitement. He won! Of course, it was something small and mundane, but it’s the small victories! The master architect couldn’t withhold the soft smile on his lips.
Ranpo lingered for a moment, before pointing at Poe’s phone, “Now what apps do you have accounts on?” He moved his own phone in front of him, “I want to friend you.”
“Oh! Uh, I have-” He paused, before just handing the phone to Ranpo, “It might be easier for you to do all of the friending and stuff...”
“Alright,” Ranpo shrugged, grabbing the phone. Quickly, he went through the apps Poe had made accounts for and friended him. “There!”
“Thank you, dear Ranpo!” Poe gratefully took his phone back, then turned it off and slid it into his pocket. “Oh! Also!”
Ranpo just tilted his head curiously.
“Aizawa might ask us if we will attend those little quirk training classes soon, to give the students pointers and such,” Poe said as he looked down at Ranpo.
“Let’s do it, then!” The detective placed his hands on his hips, “After all, the sooner we make them strong and smart enough to win, the sooner we go home.”
“Of course, Ranpo!” Poe nodded in agreement, folding his hands together with a smile, “You *are* the greatest detective in the world, so I trust your judgment! With your plans, we could never lose!”
“Well, obviously.” Ranpo crossed his arms with a smirk, “Geniuses like me don’t fail, you know.”
“Certainly! No manner of criminal would ever be able to outsmart y-” Poe unfolded his hands and pumped them as fists before Ranpo grabbed him by the arm and turned him around. Sooner than he could realize, he was tossed out of Ranpo’s room, and the door shut behind him.
He stood there for a moment, before he slumped down and sighed. Ranpo had just kicked him out. Was he talking too much?
The door opened again and Poe quickly turned to face it.
“I’m not mad or anything.” Then, the door closed once more. A few seconds later, it opened again, “Hold on real quick.” It closed.
Poe waited patiently outside of the room, curious as to what was going on. Why did Ranpo push him out?
Soon, the detective emerged from the room, dressed in Pompompurin pajamas and carrying Kuromi pajamas and a small bag of glitter, accessories, hairclips, etc. He couldn’t help the feeling of awkwardness that arose.
“Go change into these pajamas and meet me in the living room.” Ranpo handed Poe the pajamas and placed his hands on his hips.
Poe nodded in confusion and went to change.
Much like earlier when he had been kicked out, Poe found himself in a situation that he hadn’t expected before he could even realize it was happening at all. He was sitting on the floor of the living room, and Ranpo was on the couch behind him tying up his hair with Sanrio clips and accessories.
“You’re gonna be the prettiest princess ever, trust me.” The detective snickered mischievously behind him.
Spacing out, Poe just sat there. Prettiest? It was probably a joke. Right, yeah. A joke. There was no need to dwell on it... not at all. In fact, why would he? A small little jest like that doesn’t really mean anything.
He placed his hand on his chest and stared at the floor, *Exactly, he was kidding.*
...Was Poe just a loser?
“Isn’t it early to do all of this?” Poe asked quietly, trying not to sound dumb.
“What, are you upset?” Ranpo looked down at him.
“N-Not at all!” The master architect looked up, then away. “I was just curious, is all. You may continue.”
“Good,” Ranpo grinned and pulled the back part of Poe’s hair into two pigtails, “otherwise it would all go to waste!”
Poe sat a little straighter, was he moving around too much or anything? He wouldn’t want to ruin Ranpo’s hard work. The now makeup doll glanced around the room awkwardly.
“Do you want to watch a movie later?” Ranpo asked casually, “I think the Barbie movies would be perfect for your new look.”
Poe didn’t hear his small laugh and instead responded seriously, “If that’s what you want, Ranpo.”
Ranpo laughed louder, using his whole body, “I was kidding! Why don’t we watch some mystery movies?”
“I’m fine with watching anything,” The master architect replied, “Feel free to pick the movies yourself.”
At that, the detective didn’t bother hiding his amusement. Not really that he had bothered with it earlier, but it was more apparent to Poe now.
After a while of careful styling, Ranpo stood up off of the couch and walked in front of Poe, who asked, “Are we done?”
“Nope,” Ranpo laughed, sitting down, “Not even close.” He grabbed the bag and pulled out a small makeup palette, obviously meant for little kids.
Poe held back a flinch at their seating arrangement. The master architect glanced away.
Ranpo buried the brush in the bright pink and started rubbing it in circles on Poe’s left cheek with a chittering laugh. How long had they been doing this? The master architect couldn’t possibly keep track with all that was going on.
The brush delved into the pink once more, and Poe’s other cheek got the same treatment. After a minute, Ranpo set down the blush and grabbed an eyeshadow brush. A nice purple was applied very messily to the man’s eyelids. Every once in awhile, Ranpo’s hand would replace tools, from blush to eyeshadow, eyeshadow to mascara. Poe tried to ignore that he was stabbed in the eye with the stick of mascara, but it was quite painful and made his eyes water.
“Oops!” Ranpo flinched, “My bad!”
“It-” Poe blinked hard, “It’s fine, don’t worry.”
Ranpo paused a moment, staring, before he shrugged, “Okay!” And with that, he continued. He grabbed the lipstick and laced Poe’s lips with it. When he accidentally got some off of them, he brushed the lipstick with his finger until it was gone--or, well, smudged.
*Rival,* Poe thought, *Rival, rival, rival, rival, rival, rival, rival, rival, rival, rival, rival, rival, rival, rival-*
“You good?” Ranpo asked, tilting his head. “Did you want the blue lipstick instead of the red?”
“Either works.” Poe smiled as best he could, “This is *your* project, so do what you feel works best.”
Ranpo grinned, “If you say so.” He set down the lipstick and grabbed some lip gloss to put on top. The sparkly kind.
His hand reached for the glitter and unscrewed the cap. The detective pulled out the little brush and started spreading the glitter across Poe’s cheekbones with a goofy laugh.
Ranpo pulled back to look at his masterpiece as he tossed the glitter aside. He snickered slightly and pulled out magnetic earrings to put on Poe’s ears, a heart choker, and plastic Sanrio bracelets and rings.
Once everything was complete, Ranpo full-body laughed for a solid four minutes. Poe was embarrassed by all the giggling.
“I don’t look *that* bad, do I?” He looked up and asked dumbly.
“N-No!” Ranpo huffed, “You- You make such a pretty princess!” He started laughing harder, “You’re keeping that on!”
Poe flinched, “A-Alright...?”
Ranpo, through his laughter, pulled out his phone and took a few pictures. He didn’t bother to turn off the shutter noise.
Poe slumped down in sheer embarrassment. How was he supposed to respond to this?
“Are you making fun of me?” He asked very animatedly. It was an obvious question, but he didn’t know how Ranpo wanted him to react.
This only made Ranpo laugh harder, “Yeah!” He fell onto his back and covered his eyes with his arm, “This is too good!”
Eventually, once Ranpo had finished cackling like a maniac, Poe moved to sit on the couch. The one where the detective had sat earlier, to be precise. Poe sat at the edge and leaned back to angle himself towards the TV comfortably.
Ranpo stood and grabbed the remote, flicking the TV on and flopping onto the couch where Poe sat, laying down. His head shifted a few times before he just sighed and scooted back, resting his head on Poe’s leg as he scrolled to find a good movie.
Naturally, Poe would freak out about this. Who wouldn’t? Can you really blame him for being a healthy dose of surprised? Anyone else would be just as-
Ranpo clicked his tongue and grabbed a pillow to put between his head and Poe’s leg.
“Much better,” he sighed contently.
Poe slapped his forehead, and when the detective looked back curiously, he shook his hands, saying, “Oh, it’s nothing!”
“Do you want popcorn or something? I can grab some of my candy,” Ranpo offered.
“You don’t need to get up. If you want snacks, I can go grab them for us-”
“No,” Ranpo sighed, “That won’t do... because if you get up from your position then my head will be less comfortable when we watch the movie.” He stood up and placed his hands on his hips, “So stay here while I pick out some of the good stuff.” With that he hurried off to his room.
After sitting dazedly for a long while, he took out his phone to check the time. It was around 11 A.M., which was most definitely *very* early to have a movie night, but if Ranpo wanted to do this, who was Poe to argue?
The detective soon returned with arms full of snacks and set them on the coffee table before resuming his prior position. He scrolled through the catalogue until he eventually found a movie.
A good chunk of the day flew by watching movies together. So much time, in fact, that the door to the dorms opened once more and the lights flicked on. Poe glanced over, and Ranpo sat up to look. Nemuri stood there, taking off her shoes. When she glanced up and saw Ranpo and Poe, she froze.
“Am I... interrupting something?” She asked awkwardly, “...’Cause if so, I’ll just go to my room...”
“Nah, you’re good,” Ranpo grinned. He sat on his knees and pointed at Poe, “Don’t you just think he’s the prettiest princess in the whole wide world?”
Nemuri noticed the makeup, and her eyes widened as she tried desperately to stifle a laugh. Alas, it was a losing battle, and she was soon hunched over, dying laughing.
She pointed and giggled, “You seriously let him put that on you?!”
Poe groaned slightly at the insult, pursing his lips in embarrassment. He just can’t say ‘no’ to Ranpo... maybe he should work on that.
“So,” she huffed in amusement, “what are you watching?”
“Just started a murder mystery. It’s insanely obvious who the killer is, though, so we were thinking of trying a different movie.” Ranpo shrugged, “But I guess that everyone will be back soon, and we should wrap up.”
“Ah, I see.” Nemuri finally wrestled her shoes off and carried them in one hand, “Then, I’ll head to my room for now.”
“See ya!”
The door to her room opened and shut with her motion, and it was silent.
Ranpo turned to Poe with a laugh, “If you want to wash that off, you can.”
“You’re sure you want me to wash it all off now?” Poe asked skeptically.
“Unless you want to keep it on?” The detective grinned.
“No!” Poe shot up into standing position, “I’ll go wash it off!” And with that, he rushed off to the bathroom to wash his face. Every scrub of his hands on his face felt like he was being thoroughly cleansed. He eventually got it all off and exited the bathroom feeling better than he ever had before.
His hair was still put up and everything, but at least his face didn’t feel 50 times heavier than it should ever have to feel.
Ranpo was on the couch scrolling through his phone, laughing. Poe smiled as he walked past and sat down on the other couch.
“Why’d you sit down way over there?” Ranpo asked, glancing over. He patted the spot where Poe had sat earlier.
“Oh, alright,” Poe carefully walked towards Ranpo and flumped down.
Ranpo grinned, “This comment section is hilarious.” He turned his head and brought back the pillow.
Poe didn’t quite understand why Ranpo had wanted him to come sit right there again, but perhaps his rival just needed a headrest.
Eventually, the master architect resigned to scrolling on his phone, as well, since he was sort of trapped and didn’t have access to his computer. He swiped and liked every once in a while, but he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion when a notification from Ranpo popped up at the top of the app screen.
Clicking on it, he noticed that his user was being used next to an @ symbol. The post had hundreds of thousands of likes--304.6k to be exact. Posted yesterday, and- and it was HIM???
Ranpo started snickering at hearing the ragingly stupid audio, and he glanced up at a confused Poe.
The video was of him carrying everything at the mall yesterday, with text saying ‘#walkemlikeadog’, whatever that means. The caption was ‘find a man who does ts willingly @BlackCatintheRueM0rgu3’.
“I changed the caption to mention you... like it?” Ranpo opened his eyes and grinned.
Instead of muttering ‘did you seriously post me without asking?’, Poe nodded awkwardly, opting to pretend to understand what was meant by any of this, “Though, dear Ranpo...” he said, “I’m not a dog.”
“I know, Ed. It’s an expression.”
The master architect just sighed and looked at his phone again, scrolling through the comments. All of a sudden, he gets another mention in a post.
Ranpo posted a few pictures of him in the makeup, then the last one was a picture he didn’t even know was taken. It was Ranpo laying on Poe’s leg and sticking out his tongue as a ‘princess-ified’ Poe stared blankly at the TV.
It was posted a few hours earlier, at the beginning of the first movie. It already had tens of thousands of likes, though.
Poe just stayed silent. What words could come out of his mouth to make this better?
Eventually, he sighed, “Ranpo... could you perhaps ask next time you want to post me...?”
“What, are you mad?” the detective paused and sat up slightly to look at him.
“No, I’m not mad!” Poe shook his head and waved his hands, “I’d just rather know...”
“Fine,” Ranpo sighed, “I’ll ask next time.” He paused, then looked at Poe seriously, his eyes opening, “I’m sorry for doing that.”
“It’s not a big deal, Ranpo,” Poe assured him.
“No, I crossed a line, and I’m sorry.”
“Really, it’s no big deal!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Ranpo, it is quite alright.” Poe sighed, “In fact, I find the comments rather entertaining.”
Ranpo’s face lit up and his eyes closed, “Really? I thought so, too!”
Poe was glad that the conversation steered away from the awkward apologies. For a bit, they just sat and laughed at comments together. A good few times, Poe was confused, but laughed regardless.
When Yamada and Aizawa arrived, Aizawa immediately went to sleep, and Yamada started cooking dinner. Kan eventually came back, too. He helped Yamada cook a little bit.
Dinner was peaceful, and everyone talked about their day. Of course, Ranpo took this as a chance to tell everyone about his little dress-up show with Poe and the videos he posted. Nemuri had said it was actually very rare to get two well-performing videos in a row right off the bat, and Ranpo might’ve just used up all of his social media luck.
Poe gave Ranpo back all of his accessories and hairclips, showered again, brushed his teeth, and got ready before going to bed. It was then that he realized being with Ranpo today washed away all of his fatigue from staying up all night instead of sleeping.