Chapter Text
Olesya moaned for a third time since I had entered her quarters. I threw a pillow back at her for the third time.
“Why, mean?”
“Stop moaning.”
“I’m hurt.”
I sat with one of my knees bent beneath me and the other stretched out across her bed, my computer placed on my knee. The manifest for the final launch, number sixteen was open and I was running through it… for the third time that morning.
Similar to the Stratt Vat, Thursdays and Saturdays were my normal teaching days with Annie and Martin. Wednesdays and Fridays were a mixture between Yao and Olesya, and Nadya and Nikolai. Tuesdays were a rotation between the groups left on the base to cover including Dimitri, Bob, Lokken, and Xi. Sundays were the astronauts' day of choice (most of them decided to do specific astronaut training that day whether tank work or spinning tracks), the scientist’s off day, and my administrative lesson day with Stratt- now that we weren’t traveling anymore. Mondays were the astronauts' day off and in a way my own (in reality my day was spent following around Eva- no where I’d rather be trust me). Olesya, Nadya, Nikolai, and sometimes Martin met up after morning workouts for games in the mess hall.
Today was Monday and after their play, Olesya had returned to her room to whine and groan.
“It was your stupid idea to flip on a dirt bike.”
Yesterday evening the six astronauts walked into the wilds of Kazakhstan with four dirt bikes they somehow bribed from the Russian soldiers. Three had come out clean, two had minor injuries, and one had a pretty significant bruise on her stomach with a now closed gash alongside multiple scuffs and marks.
“You not mad at Nikolai or Annie.”
“Nikolai isn’t on the primary team.”
Another moan. “Sound like Stratt.”
I shifted my gaze from the line labeled ‘assisted suicide’ (yeah I was never going to get used to that) to her shadow on the wall. Her hands swatted the air as if she could remove the annoyance from my face.
“I’m simply glad that the others were okay.”
“Weak.”
From what Yao told me, each of them had gotten on the bike, however it was Nikolai, Annie, and Olesya that tested fate with the tricks they attempted. I had no doubt that the others had at least thought about the consequences. Olesya, she wouldn’t have thought about anything. Adrenaline junkie. Nikolai always took risks and cared little for his own safety. Annie… I was unsure why she had gone so aggressively in the way she had. Eva had suggested that she might be trying to enact control onto something or wanted to impress someone. We all knew who that someone was.
I tisked. A moan.
Sharply I turned my body holding my laptop off my lab with both hands, “That’s enough. I’m placing more cream on it.”
“Time?” she groaned.
The clock read, “Over three hours,” since the last application.
She whimpered, dropping her head from looking at the ceiling to connect with my concerned stare despite my sass and insistence to remind her of her foolishness. Closing my laptop, I set it on the floor and stood. Her room was even smaller than mine, there was no desk/cabinet situation. However, she was alone without a fellow crew member and that was a high commodity. Across her floor was a shelf with a basin and a nightstand shaped table with a chair. Atop was a bunch of random things, but I was looking for the lidocaine gel the doctor had prescribed.
In one hand I held the gel and in the other a pair of gloves. I returned to Olesya who laid on her back in the bed with her eyes closed. I knew she was in pain and with her refusal to take painkillers all that was offered to her was the topical gel. Lidocaine gel was a topical anaesthetic that blocked the nerve impulses of the area of skin. The action was not wholly systemic and therefore eventually approved by Olesya.
The gloves went on as she lifted up her shirt. There was a large bruise that spread out from the area of multiple butterfly bandages. They worked to create an apposition of the laceration. Only a small amount of exudate came from the injury.
“Oh, Olesya.”
“Not bad.”
Right… With a sigh, I squeezed a glob of gel onto the gloves and applied it to the area, careful not to lift any of the cinched areas. Occasionally, she twitched despite my gentle pressure. I felt a bit better on the edges that met normal skin. On one of the sides I slipped accidentally dragging a fingernail against a bump on her skin. Apologizing, she noted that there was no feeling in her keloid scars. I hadn’t realized it was a keloid scar amongst the damage.
There were a total of four across her abdomen that had grown over the past couple years. She mentioned that she often formed keloids and while in the past she had done everything to lessen their appearance, these would grow however big they would like.
In theory those were supposed to be the last keloid scars she received on planet Earth, but now she would have her truest last one- unrelated to her procedure.
A human being placed in a coma for four years was challenging enough; yet a human being with a uterus made it infinitely more complicated. Not to mention being in space generally. All astronauts with uteruses on the project had to undergo a total laparoscopic hysterectomy upon selection. This procedure removed both the uterus and cervix using small abdominal cuts, specialized tools, and a camera. With the ovaries maintained in the body, hormones were appropriately made, and therefore hormone replacement therapy would not be necessary. Nadya had matching scars; Annie didn’t have a uterus to begin with and was lucky, considering her fear of all things medical. For an astronaut she did not not handle her medical evaluations all that well, passed out when blood had been drawn (but could remain upside down and spun forever). A weird one.
“Alright,” I mentioned stepping back and letting Olesya tuck the shirt into her sports bra to hold it as the gel dried.
We were at mid-morning, the launch was in the early afternoon, the party directly after. In about an hour the manifest would be locked. The clock on my computer ticked with each second. While the time sped away eveningly my heartbeat was uneven and quick. There was a rash on my neck and it was growing.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I shifted my glasses off my nose. They dropped into my hands and I placed them on her makeshift desk.
“Worry too much.”
“Yeah… Yeah…”
There were photos taped to the wall, one of her sneaking into the Kremlin, one with her father, another with her mother, ones with friends, places in Russia I have never seen. Fudging fudge… Fuck.
Ryland Laika Grace!
“The launch is far away.”
Inhaling deeply, I tried to situate my nerves.
“I know.”
Pulling my phone out, I cursed aloud. Dead.
“What is wrong?”
I held up my phone. Eva hadn’t come home last night.
“Bring here.”
Turning around, I stepped back to her bed and handed her my phone, of which she plugged into her charging port.
“Sit,” she patted the space beside her, readjusted herself sitting up, and placed her back against the metal wall.
I followed her instructions, my legs matching hers to dangle off the bed.
We sat there, her head on my shoulder, breathing in a mismatched pattern (mainly because I had a habit of holding my breath and forgetting to breath- while she had a much more natural rhythm).
“Tell me something.”
Stratt Vat had been a life in itself and there was much of it that swam in my mind often. Many days I woke up feeling as though I could still feel the ship beneath me. Erid’s gravity was twice that of Earth, spun much faster, and I wasn’t on the roaring Earth seas; and yet my body remembered the movement.
Those first mornings when I opened my eyes not to metal walls and stale air knocked the wind out of me. Similar to when you’d dream and somehow only dream from a formative time in your childhood, perhaps the second home you had where you spent the most of her childhood; Stratt Vat was similar.
I’d cry from the memories of the past, the hunger in the pit of my stomach, the weakness of my body, the brokenness of my mind, and the heartbreak of my soul. No matter how much taumoeba I ate, I was doomed to suffer.
The worst existence may be the one where you are neither living nor dead, conscious enough to realize hell, powerless to save yourself.
An ice cream machine- it seems so trivial now, but it had meant everything to me, to us. The canteen transformed not just on karaoke nights anymore. Every night there was ice cream and my friends and I found ourselves there multiple nights a week. After my time with Eva, I’d pass by on my way to the deck, to catch up. Olesya loved rocky road, a terrible flavour of ice cream but it simply made sense.
Rocky knew all their favorite flavours, we had a lot of time to chat on our journey to Erid. We shared stories of our friends, our family, our home. I haven’t told Quasi yet… I’m unsure why… Maybe telling them about everyone’s ice cream orders somehow cements the fact that for Olesya and Yao they’d never eat ice cream again. Neither would I for that matter.
The machine became bigger on the base, a large standard size for all to enjoy. We did of course, but there wasn’t the same exclusivity and care that had been there before.
“Remember when Eva bought us an ice cream machine.”
“She bought you.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Do you think I get ice cream on the Hail Mary?”
“Probably not.”
My head lifted from leaning onto hers. “Have you decided?”
“Last meal?”
I nodded and she lifted up her head, banging it softly against the back of the wall. “Het”
Each of the astronauts were to be given their last meal on Earth, because it basically was for all purposes their last meal. Eva and I had designed their final days to their preferred preferences. All of them had requested to enjoy their last meals together, with the science team and Eva herself. Of course we’d all oblige and their meal of choice would be provided for them down to the tiniest detail. A snack would be provided to each of them in solitude before their process for takeoff began.
Similar to the assisted suicide, I was in charge of organizing the banquet and meals. With several months after the launch to plan, time was not a problem, though I wanted to be sure that we could acquire everything we needed.
“I’ll have a pint of rocky road just for you.”
“Is best ice cream.”
“It’s not.”
“You are basic, not my fault.”
“Firstly, vanilla bean is a classic flavour. Tried and true since the 18th century.”
“Boring.”
“Secondly, chunky bits in ice cream ruin everything.”
“Do not.”
“да.”
“Do not.”
“да.”
“Do not.”
“да.”
“Do not!” I lifted my hand up, “Don’t say it—” “да.”
Grabbing her pillow, I shoved it against her, “Do not.”
She gasped, pulling the pillow from my hands and hitting it against my stomach. “Hey!”
With her second pillow in my hands, I banged it against her shoulder, careful not to reach near her injury. A pillow fight ensued while we were sitting- mainly targeting her shoulder and head, whereas my body was a fair target.
Once I was able to gain control of her pillow, I threw both across the floor, trying to catch my breath from laughing. My stomach was against her bed, my left arm hanging off the bed, my right beside me. Olesya had one of her feet against my back, the other by my head.
“I’ll miss this.”
I rolled off the bed onto the floor, “Me too.”
“You think we are friends in every universe?”
“Absolutely.”
“Good. One where we grow old together.”
“Yes.”
***
When my phone had charged, I replied to the messages I had missed, and left my friend to rest before the party. I had every intention of sending a monitor for her to watch the livestream from her room, but I wasn’t sure if the signal would be strong enough. Regardless, I sent officers to try to sort it out. Either way, I’d see her at the after party.
Steve and I were walking down the halls toward the meeting room to meet up with Eva. He was in constant contact with Carl updating me on their whereabouts.
“I have a book to add to your list.”
My to be read list, whenever this was all over (probably at my retirement… perhaps).
“Yes?”
“Jade City by Fonda Lee. Think the Godfather meets urban fantasy. Incredible work.”
“Intrigued.”
“The writing is beautiful and engaging, the worldbuilding is well developed, and I very much enjoy the characters.”
“Have you read Red Rising.. By uh Pierce Brown?”
“About the kid Darrow?”
“Yes!”
“I love a space jesus.”
I laughed turning the final corner, “I mean who doesn…”
There was loud arguing coming from in front of us. Eva’s voice echoed off the walls. Xi was standing in front of her, her hands flying up in the air with each huff. They were clearing it out… again.
Anytime I asked Eva, she didn’t want to discuss it.
“If you won’t listen to me, I’m—” “No you absolutely will not or I will make your life a living hell if do you—” “Yes, I understand you Stratt, that’s the problem and—” I caught her eye, “Enough Xi—” “No you cannot—” “We are done.”
Xi started cursing in Chinese as Eva rapidly turned and headed into her office without another word.
I waved with a light smile at my friend.
She opened her mouth, shut it, and tried again. “Unfortunately, prickly.”
“Apologies. I had thought…”
Her hand waved my comment off. “Congragulations on the final launch, Grace.”
“Congragulations to you Xi, we couldn’t have done it without you.”
“I know, I know… You’ll be coming to the after party?”
“Wouldn’t miss it.”
Pointing toward the door she added, “You should bring that one. Maybe she’ll find out what she is gambling.”
I cocked my head watching her expel a large sigh, “Xi?”
“I worry about her.”
“Me too.”
“I worry about you.”
“Me?”
“If I wasn’t bound by one NDA after another perhaps things would turn out differently.”
“You sound rather cryptic.”
“Nevermind me. I’ll meet you at the launch pad.”
“But…” she was already walking away, shaking her head, and muttering in Chinese to herself.
At one point I would have asked the soldiers that littered the halls to translate for me, but we weren’t on the Stratt Vat anymore. Russians walked the halls now.
“What do you think that was about?”
Steve shrugged, “I don’t get paid to speculate.”
“Right…” I lifted my eyebrow nodding my head toward the phone in his head, “So you weren’t sending the play by play to Carl?”
“What do you take me for, Dr. Grace?”
“Uh-huh.”
We halted in front of one of the office doors where two details stood at attention outside. They gave me their acknowledgements as I entered with Steve at my heels.
Eva’s office on the base was much bigger than the one on the Stratt Vat. There were two desks, one she sat at more often (wood), and one (a light wood and metal design) that was situated against the window (where I sometimes sat); a meeting table that sat four, file cabinets against both walls, and a row of windows with blinds on both sides of the room. The natural light was rather beautiful and during the evening shadowed nicely on the wood panelling of the walls. There were two canvases with bits of the Hail Mary above the one cabinet behind her typical desk. Beneath those were binders of documents, piles of documents, and well more documents. The cabinet wall behind the meeting table displayed her favorite books, many in German, and inside more documents.
However, the left most high cabinet closest to the windows held my stash of candy, which is where I went first. Grabbing a pack of sour skittles, I sat at my second designated spot in the room, the meeting table. All my items remained from my morning duties, computer, tablet, pile of documents, notebook, coffee cup, and empty bag of Twizzlers. Carl sat on one of the chairs and motioned for Steve to join him. Together they scrolled on a tablet, whispering to one another.
Eva was sitting at her second desk, the one that faced the outside, where her computer monitor was installed. Except, she wasn’t using the computer, the screen was dark. Her phone was on her normal desk, screen up, and I could see that it flashed with notifications.
“Mondschein?”
Her body jolted, unusual.
“Sorry,” I pushed my glasses against my nose bridge, “Are you alright?”
“Reminiscing.”
“About?”
“No matter, I’m fine.”
Twisting my lips, I walked over to her, squatting at her leg.
“Are you sure?”
She nodded, moving her head to look back out through the blinds.
“Hmm,” I placed my head onto her leg, closing my eyes when her nails scratched against my scalp.
Her hand maneuvered to pick up my chin. I opened my eyes to gaze at her, my pupils dilating with my grin. Scrunching her nose she bent down and connected her lips to mine. With a short squeal, I pushed myself off the floor and straddled her. The weight went through my feet so I didn’t crush her beneath me. I knew she got annoyed when I did that, but honestly it was a great thigh workout.
Our lips made a noise as we pulled them apart. Neither of us were great with applying chapstick nor breaking the habit of biting our lips.
I kissed the top of her nose, swinging my leg over to stand.
Tapping on her phone, I read out the messages. She sighed, turning herself in the chair to face my direction.
“Tell them we will start making our way there shortly.”
Nodding, I swiped up and typed away adding an emoji of the human running with the fart cloud behind them.
Relay my inquiry Dr. Grace
Rude.
Passing Eva the phone, I pulled out a skittle from my pocket and dropped it into my mouth.
“Isn’t today your sister’s kid’s birthday?”
Carl’s head looked up, “Yeah.”
“Instructions were received?”
“Oh yea, look.”
Skirting around her with a kiss to the forehead, I bent down by Carl to look at photos from his phone. They were screenshots and videos of an Instagram profile that I assumed was his sisters. We weren’t allowed to have contact so… I laughed. There was a small little girl turning seven standing next to a child’s lifesize volcano that erupted from coke and mentos. Eva had gotten my instructions for the creation somehow to Carl’s sister without the knowledge of where it came from.
“She is sure to be a chemist now.”
“Good, good.”
His sister’s oldest daughter was a brilliant little mastermind who loved to create explosions. She was certainly going to become a chemist. I was very excited to get to meet her.
“Only a few more months.”
“You must be excited.”
“Aren’t we all,” Steve added.
Once the project was concluded, the Hail Mary launched, everyone would be free of their position for a little while, enough to visit family and friends. Of course, no one was allowed to say anything beyond that they were working for the government. However, it probably wouldn’t matter.
“Mark and Marissa are going to kill me upon my return.”
“Just think of all the students you can reunite with,” Steve said.
“She’ll have to do a whole US Tour.”
“Sold out arenas for Dr. Ryland Grace.”
I narrowed my eyes at the two of them, “Very funny.”
Carl nudged my arm, “I know she’d love to meet you if you get the time.”
“I’m sure,” I looked at Eva who was packing up her briefcase. She nodded softly. “We can make it happen.”
“Hey, I want to parade you around my people too.”
“Your family isn’t smart enough for our genius.”
“So.”
I patted Steve’s shoulder, “I’d be excited to meet your siblings and your parents.”
“And my extended family?”
“Uhh we can plan the details later.”
The three of us laughed. It would be nice for a bit of a mundane break. Steve Blake was from the midwest and Carl Moore from the east coast, and I from the west coast. One could be pleased our flights would be increasing greenhouse gas.
“Come.”
All of us picked up our eyes to see Eva at the main door, scarf already tied around her hair. Each of us stood and filed into our spots, I beside her, and Steve and Carl behind their designated assignment.
***
“Wondergirl has arrived!” “Congragulations!” “Yay Grace!” “Sixteen done!” “WE DID IT!” “So proud of you darling!” “Yay!”
Stepping into the base bar was certainly overwhelming, there was little space to move, and music blared. I laughed, grinning widely, and opened my arms for Dimitri to embrace me in a hug. Yao and Bob lifted their glasses in salute as Annie and Nadya kissed my cheek. Francois gave me a wink while Amelia nodded. Xi and Lamai bowed as Olesya stood to hug me. Fleur kissed both of my cheeks, her hands pressed against my shoulders. Lokken gave me a soft smile, placing her glass to her lips. I winked at her, turning behind me.
Eva gave a short nod at the group.
“Ms Stratt.”
Stepping back, I slid my hand into hers and squeezed, pulling her forward. She tightly kept hold of my hand, adding her second hand onto my forearm. For a moment, I pressed my other hand atop hers.
Everyone gawked, not moving from their positions.
Olesya broke the silence with a shout and before I knew it, Nikolai, Martin, Carl, and Amelia came over to lift me up onto Dimitri’s shoulders. Eva’s eyes widened and she reached out. As I was pulled away from her, Steve came up beside her, whispering something in her ear, she dropped her arms. I blew her a kiss as Steve pulled out a chair.
Bouncing up and down as Dimitri ran, I could feel someone’s hands ensuring that I stayed safe. Together, we traveled around the room with our friends yipping and hollering behind us (similar to a conga line).
I reached down and grabbed hands, fist bumped, and high fived as we made our rounds. People cheered and stomped as we passed, some downing their drinks in toast. Others threw champagne onto me as they cracked open bottles and sang.
Number sixteen, the Hail Mary would be complete within the next week.
“Give three cheers for Dr. Grace!”
“Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray!” “To Dr. Grace!” “Hip hip hooray!” “ “За здоровье!”
Oleysa reached up a beer of which I took. I shoved it into the air as Dimitri spun us around in tight circles.
“Speech!” “Speech!” “Speech!”
“Uh, I don’t…”
“Speech!” “Speech!” “Speech!”
Dimitri halted and I took a swig of my beer. Someone had turned off the music and the room quieted.
“Err. I’m not great at the whole public speaking deal, but I would like to say,” I lifted my beer into the air, “We did this together, all of us.”
People cheered in agreement.
“We thank each and everyone of you for giving up your lives in order to give humanity the chance to survive. May history remember each and every one of you for your sacrifices and your accomplishments. Hear hear.”
“За нас!”
I copied the sentiment, it meant ‘to use’.
“But,” I lowered my drink to take a sip, “we wouldn’t have been able to accomplish all we have without,” I tapped Dimitri beneath me, he turned until I could meet her eyes. “Eva Stratt”, I tipped my drink her way with a wink, “humanity’s last hope.”
Heads followed my line of eyesight, I’m sure no doubt surprised that she was in the room with us. For a moment it was quiet.
“For your love and protection of humanity, we will accomplish humanity's final task. May history,” I gulped, “May history treat you as the saviour you are.”
“To Ms. Stratt!” Dimitri lifted a glass.
“Ms Stratt!” the crowd answered, lifting their drinks. I joined in, “Ms Stratt”, raising my glass.
Eva maintained eye contact as she nodded allowing everyone to tip back their heads.
Nikolai, Martin, and Amelia helped me down from Dimitri’s shoulders as Carl parted the seas for our return to our tables. Leclerc drifted beside me to clank his beer against mine. I was happy he was partaking in the festivities. You know, comradery does help them.
Scooting a chair beside Eva, I dropped my hand onto her leg, of which she quickly grabbed. Leaning into me she hissed into my ear, “Why did you do that?”
“Because it's true,” I replied, shoving my shoulder into hers.
Grumbling, she snuggled up into my, dropping her head onto my shoulder, as I wrapped my arm around to pull her into me and kiss her head.
“What song shall we sing today,” Annie asked, dropping herself into the chair in front of me.
Oleysa plopped into the one beside Stratt, diagonal from my position, “Duet.”
“Hall of Fame by the Script with will.i.am.”
“EXCELLENT!” Amelia shouted leaning over Annie and Oleysa.
The three of them stood, replaced by Francois, Nadya, and Dimitri.
“I’m glad you made it tonight,” Francois smiled at Eva.
“We missed you,” Dimitri added.
“I… uh… I didn’t think I was needed.”
Fleur came over with Lamai and Xi at her heels pulling three chairs up to our table. “You were and are darling.”
I looked down and Eva was looking up at me.
“Who else would be our fearless leader?” Martin noted coming to stand behind them.
Eva pulled herself up to share a look with each of them. “I apologize.”
“We are happy you are here now,” Yao concluded, coming to wrap his arm around Martin.
Everyone nodded, voicing their agreement.
“Are we?” Lokken muttered while sitting to share her chair with Fleur who smacked her lightly on the arm, “Alright, fine.”
“From Project Hail Mary to Project Humanity.”
“Hear Hear.”
I couldn’t help it, my nose had gotten stuffy, and…
“Oh is Grace crying?” “Here she goes.” “Wondergirl is crying.” “Again with the water works.” “Pathetic really.”
Eva turned her entire self to face me, her head cocked to the side with a shake of her head. My hands lifted up as my lip fell downwards, I simply couldn’t stop it, and started laughing between my sobs.
“Mein,” her hands touched my cheeks and she leaned in, “sonnenschein,” her lips meeting mine.
While it wasn’t our first kiss, I remember that kiss distinctly from the many others. Our first of many in front of our friends.
***
After the sixteenth launch, the base had an updated schedule. No longer were we preparing to launch rockets to feed the building of the Hail Mary. Instead we were now redirected to ensure the equipment upon the Hail Mary functioned and functioned well. Our ESA astronauts worked to communicate what was happening on the vessel back to us.
Eva started our ‘lesson’ days on administration and I began our ‘lectures’ on all things science. I was rather pleased to find out that Eva was a genius of her own, she had some scientific knowledge and was a quick study. When we were together, which was basically all the time at this point (she even joined me for my rooftop morning shenanigans several times a week), she’d ask a niche question regarding Astrophage biology. I would be lying if I didn’t settle perfectly well into the role of a teacher, excited by every new inquiry.
“It was a simple question.”
“There is no simple question, you processed the information within your brain using neuron synapses to connect ideas using sugars and then—” “Rye—” “Sorry, so to answer your question…”
We made our rounds together catching up with each of our friends' new roles within the updated regime. Then on Thursday nights, we’d visit the canteen and occasionally she’d allow us the pleasure of hearing her voice. Some Thursdays she didn’t quite make it or needed to leave early, but everyone valued whatever she could give.
Xi seemed to be the happiest when Eva joined us. Their friendship had grown and I found them often talking amongst themselves when we got together with everyone. I was happy she had someone to talk to outside of Carl, Steve, or I. Lokken had even welcomed her and they spoke in German. I enjoyed listening and watching Eva’s voice glow as she spoke in her native tongue.
The campus managed to remain incredibly busy in the first few weeks after the last launch. We hosted a few international leaders and had representatives from the UN nations. Though the UN leaders maintained their distance physically, often trying to get ahold of Eva on her phone or laptop. They even took to calling me (I would not answer). The only time I did answer was to cuss them out and hang up. Eva hadn’t crossed the room fast enough to stop me.
World leaders were insufferable. They had no respect for our project and all the work we were accomplishing. When they visited, they spent a large amount of time with Francois which wasn’t good for either party. Depending on which nation they were representing, I sent the astronauts and scientists in pairs to steer conversations and activities around the base.
As for Eva and I, our days started in our home, moved to our office, to the mess hall for a short interlude of chatting, back to our office, around the campus, and back to our home. Lessons with Martin and Annie were pretty much completed at this point and they were working on their own for the most part. We popped in every now and then so I could show Eva and she could try out a few things for herself. The Mongolian brothers were always keen to assist with preparation and demonstrations.
Once a week, we got all the astronauts and scientists together in the large business meeting room to walk through the steps of the mission. It was our hope that by walking through it we could limit surprises or more importantly prepare the astronauts for surprises.
During the meetings, Yao and Nadya were sharp on their notes and kept detailed descriptions of the session. While Oleysa and Martin made the bulk of suggestions, Nikolai and Annie kept everyone on track (especially Oleysa). We ended when Eva had checked off the agenda for the day. When that happened, we were several teapots and coffee pots empty.
With the nature of her and I being together, Steve and Carl were thus always with us. The four of us became a unit and even when we could tell them to go, they stayed.
“GO GO GO!”
Carl and I jumped up from the couch as our team won. We high fived and joined Steve in a victory dance.
“Took them long enough,” Eva muttered, scratching her pen against the paper.
I laughed, plopping myself beside her. Leaning over, I placed a kiss on her lips. She didn’t move her eyes from the pages.
“Why don’t we play a game?”
I blinked at Carl, “A great idea!”
“Yes, what?” Steve asked.
“I’ve work to do mein sonnenschein.”
I shook my head, “You’ve done enough,” I took both her hands in mine and pulled, “come.”
With a sigh, she let me lift her off the couch and settle on the floor around our table.
“Just move,” Steve and Carl started helping me move everything off the table to neat piles on the floor.
Once clear, Steve placed three board games down for us to choose from, clue, monopoly, and trouble. There were plenty more in our hall closet, board games were a great way to destress.
“Eva?”
“Fine, clue.”
I squealed, performing a little dance.
“I’ll grab the candy,” Steve shouted skittering to the kitchen as Carl began to set up the game.
“Enough,” Eva batted him away, “I’ll set it up. Can’t trust any of you.”
***
I was in stitches running down the road toward the canteen in the dark open air. She was right behind me running at full speed, her arms outstretched ready.
“Can’t catch me,” I shouted behind myself.
While I could run a lot faster, I didn’t want to. Slowing to allow her to catch up, I squealed when her nails contacted my sides.
“I hate that you don’t play fair.”
Shifting my body from right to left, I tried to get out ‘what do you mean?’
“You want me to catch you.”
I broke from her dropping my hands to my knees to catch my breath. “What’s wrong with wanting my girlfriend’s hands all over me?”
“Ryland!”
“Well?”
Her mouth curved into a wide grin, her smile lines connecting with her laugh lines. The eyes that held my soul sparkling in the moonlight.
Stepping to close our distance, I pulled her into my arms, stepping us into a dance, humming Adore You by Harry Styles.
“I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore you.”
Eva giggled tilting her head back.
“Like it’s the only thing I’ll ever do. Like it’s the only thing I’ll ever do.”
“Rye,” she puffed as I spun her out and back into me.
“You don’t have to say you love me. I just wanna tell you somethin’. Lately you’ve been on my mind.”
When I paused, she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me deeply. Dragging her arms down my back and around my waist, she picked me up. I yelped.
“What? I’m not allowed to pick you up?”
“I just was, am surprised,” I explained as I lifted my arms into the air as she spun me.
Back on the ground, I kissed her nose, “You can do anything you want to me Eva Stratt.”
“Is that so?”
I knocked my head against hers, “Mhm.”
Our noses met.
“When did you learn to dance?”
“When I was younger.”
Moving her head back, she smirked, “Ah yes, theatre nerd.”
“Not girlfriend material?”
Her hand grasped mine, “Absolutely wife material.”
I chuckled and allowed her to pull us through the automatic front doors. Xi and Francois saw us first, running over to pull Eva to join them at their table with Bob and Lamai.
It was only as she was being pulled away that I realized what she said.
“WAIT WIFE?!”
In response Eva lifted her left hand wiggling the ring finger.
“I…” Steve and Carl stepped up on either side of me, “Did she just…”
“Seems like it,” “Yearner turned lover girl turned…” “Fiance?”
I looked at both of them in disbelief. How incredibly unfair to have even suggested… Welp now I need to…
“I need to find a ring.”
“We’re on it, go.”
I half screamed, half coughed, hugging Carl and Steve before racing into a waving Dimitri and bouncing Olesya.
***
“If they take you,” I spun in a circle grasping at the air as if when I grabbed it- I could rewrite what has not come to pass yet.
“Rye…”
“They sent another indictment,” I threw daggers at the window, “Out there they want your head.”
We were in her office and while Steve and Carl stood outside the window to give us privacy, I could see both of them facing away from us. Similarly to the small meeting room, the windows were bulletproof, though not completely soundproof.
“I have a pardon.”
“From an American who has no power. The President will cut you up himself and feed you to the gators in the Florida swamps.”
“My country…”
“Your country is still looked down upon for their historical actions. Who will come to save you when the guillotine is sharpened?”
“It won’t come to that.”
“You know it will, don’t pretend.”
“My mission was set long before I met your Ryland.”
Argh, she was impossible. When the Hail Mary launched, someone would come if they weren’t already on the base, infiltrating our ranks. The moment the vessel was cleared, she would be grabbed and put on trial- alone. Alone she would stand on the stand as everyone that promised her freedom cut her wings. I couldn’t let that happen. I was the only one who never signed an NDA, who was not obligated under oath to never speak about the project.
“Project Humanity needs you.”
“Do we need to go over it again?”
No, we didn’t. I knew the plan. We had worked it out over a year ago, if they came for her, I went into hiding with Dimitri. As the other scientists were released from their contracts, we’d all begin project humanity. When it would be possible, Dimitri and I would gather everyone and continue our work.
The Russian tundra was a great place to build a stronghold under the ground away from the inclement weather and prying eyes. None of us had visited the location and wouldn’t until it was our only option.
The plan was complete- except for leaving Eva at their mercy… Alone.
Our friends knew the plan, they had their roles, they didn’t need me. In order to save her, my name needed to be beside her.
“They will come for you.”
We were standing a person’s length apart, she was rigid in her stance, her mouth twitching as I sobbed, begging for her to heed me.
“You don’t think I don’t know that…” she jumped forward grabbing my elbows, her eyes darting this way and that, “They will come for you too.”
Releasing me her hands shook, “I,” she lifted and dropped her hand in the air as if patting something, “I need to know you are safe.”
“I cannot live in secret without you.”
“You must.”
“But—” her hand grasped the back of the chair as her other hand grasped her throat.
Her words came out as a whisper. “They know my kryptonite.”
“What? Now is not the time to show off that you do in fact pay attention during our movie nights, I mean Carl—” “Rye!”
“Yes?”
Her other hand grasped the chair and she pitched forward as if she couldn’t catch her breath.
“They will come for you.”
“Eva,” I dramatically fell at her feet, throwing my head back, “Let them… please…”
The tears in my eyes matched hers as she turned- though mine rolled down my cheeks and hers were wiped away.
“I need to know you are safe.”
“My safety means nothing if I cannot be with my wife.”
As she came to kneel her head shook. “They’ll use you. If your name is next to mine or not.”
“I…” sniffling, I hadn’t, “Oh God.”
I felt the cool metal against my wet flushed cheek. Lisbeth’s ring was older, thicker, and less smooth than the thin banded ring that had belonged to my mother. Dimitri had added etchings of forget-me-nots, Fleur had added the blue gray gem on the front, and Amelia had pressed the smallest red stone to the side that faced your palm.
“You are my executioner.”
The love I had for her was ineffable, and yet I’d spend the remainder of my life trying. When I am sent to space, I leave her my memories. When I arrive on Erid I grieve a part of my soul of which I am tasked to glue back together. I find my Lisbeth in space and they tell me to live too. The difference, all of it was in reverse.