Chapter Text
Days stretched into weeks, and still there was no sign of Caine. At first Pomni was uncharacteristically quiet, but bouts of melancholy were soon interspersed with flashes of mania. She began seeking out her own entertainment, to the detriment of everyone else. As time progressed, Pomni’s pranks grew increasingly malicious, her passive-aggressive jabs less passive. The circus fell into the shadow of the jester’s wicked whims without any tempering influence.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are!” Pomni sang, skipping down the halls. Hide and seek was growing to be a popular pastime around there, but the game was getting stale. When she found someone else, she would make them regret existing.
Jax pinned himself to a wall, wide-eyed and sweating. He cursed himself for being impatient, for risking a shortcut that he knew might run into the little psychopath. More than that, he cursed himself for being so afraid. He picked up a nearby letter block and chucked it across the room.
Pomni’s head swiveled towards the noise. “Sounds like someone’s being clumsy over there,” she thought aloud. “Or maybe, they’re just trying to create a distraction!”
Jax held his breath.
“It’s okay, I’ll play along,” Pomni giggled. “Yes, and” was the golden rule of improv, after all. Her prey would live to die another day.
Jax shuffled around the corner, up the ramp, and down the scaffolding of the second floor. He hadn’t taken that route in ages, yet it was seared into his memory. The warm aroma of baked goods and coffee washed over him as he stepped past the threshold of the café. Sweet nostalgia was tainted by years of festering resentment. He opened his eyes to see everyone else staring at him. How fitting, he thought, that people seeking solace would flock to the one place he habitually avoided.
It wasn’t him that they were hiding from, so they only regarded him warily as he dropped down onto a stool. He automatically ordered the hot cocoa, then grimaced when it came out exactly as he remembered it. Most people would consider that a feature of a great establishment, but Jax wasn’t looking to get lost in memories. Still, he wasn’t the type to waste even digital food, so he took a sip. “What?” He grunted. The whipped cream mustache made him appreciably less intimidating than he meant to be.
“Jax, what a surprise,” Ragatha welcomed. “Pomni isn’t–“
“She didn’t see me come in,” Jax assured. Strictly speaking, he couldn’t know that for sure. His confidence in their privacy was one of the few safeguards he had against the joker, though, so he couldn’t afford to entertain any doubts.
“That’s a relief,” Ragatha sighed. “Don’t get me wrong, but Pomni’s been very… Pomni, lately. We’re all just trying to catch our breath.” The weak euphemism was evocative enough for those present. It spoke volumes that the warpath was violent enough to put Jax on the majority’s side of the divide.
“She b-burned my noteb-books,” Gangle blubbered. Privately, she figured that might have been for the best. She lived in fear of her feelings being discovered, yet she couldn’t bring herself to dispose of the evidence. Had Pomni not surely read their contents beforehand, Gangle might have owed her thanks. As it stood, it was only more rope to hang her with.
“She tied my legs together,” Zooble complained. When those present glanced down at their perfectly parallel legs, they rushed to clarify. “The ones in my box, I mean.” That had been an unpleasant surprise in the morning. Untangling the mess for an hour was annoying, but the underlying threat was that Pomni could go wherever she pleased, unimpeded. Sleep hadn’t come easily since then.
Kinger swallowed a mouthful of food. “I’m actually just here for the sandwiches,” he supplied.
“She filled my mattress with scorpions,” Ragatha shuddered.
“Huh? Nah, that one was all me,” Jax confessed.
“Jax!” Ragatha seethed. Apparently, not even a state of emergency could corral his most irritating impulses.
“What? This was after you told me how afraid you were of centipedes! Do you have any idea how much restraint that took?” Jax argued.
Ragatha focused on her breathing. As miserable as dealing with Jax could be, he was currently the lesser of two evils. The expression made her feel guilty, since she didn’t want to vilify anyone, but it had to be said. Pomni had almost done as much harm as Jax had in his much longer residence. Now seemed like the time to be strengthening bonds, not fighting.
“I’m glad you’re here, actually,” Ragatha said and, for once, truly meant it. “We were just discussing Pomni and what we could do about her aforementioned Pomni-ness. What do we really know about her, anyway?”
“Sh-She’s really scary,” Gangle kicked the war room meeting off with her expert analysis. Racking her brain for anything of more substance, she helpfully added, “and mean.”
“She’s hurt, so she tries to hurt others. She’s observant, too, so she knows just what buttons to press,” Zooble threw out there.
“A lot of her criticisms are oddly prescient,” Ragatha considered. “I’m not sure how she could have picked up so much, so quickly. Then again, some of the things she says are so off base that I don’t even know how to respond to them.”
“Con artist fundamentals,” Jax commented. “She’s probably just cold reading. You’re more likely to remember the things she gets right than the things she gets wrong, so she always comes out ahead.”
Having Jax around was already proving its worth. “That may be,” Ragatha accepted. “More importantly, we need some way to get through to her. Maybe we can give her a taste of her own medicine? If we can make her feel what we’re feeling, she might reconsider her actions.” Encouraging violence made her a little queasy, but she could no longer imagine resolving the issue peacefully.
All eyes turned to the rabbit. “What are you looking at me for?” He demanded. “You’re crazy if you think I’m crazy enough to try to out-crazy Crazy. You want to start an arms race, make Zooble do it–at least they’ve got spares.”
“@#%$ off, Jax. Take this seriously,” Zooble condemned.
“It’s fine,” Ragatha eased. “We can’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to do. Besides, he has a point. The situation is bad enough without escalating it.” She felt about as surprised to be defending Jax as he looked to be defended.
“It doesn’t have to be Jax,” Kinger pointed out, munching on his sandwich.
“Who else can stand up to Pomni’s wild, dangerous, unpredictable–actually, I think I just answered my own question.” Ragatha frowned. “We haven’t seen Caine in ages, though.” She couldn’t help but feel partially responsible for that, though the ringmaster certainly took her advice to heart more than she could have anticipated. Perhaps treating him like a human wasn’t as good of an idea as she had thought.
“We’ll save that for Plan B,” Jax decided.
“Because he won’t come back until the dramatic climax?” Gangle questioned.
“No, because–“ Jax blinked. “Wait, yeah, that’s right. I guess you were paying attention.”
“What about Plan A?” Zooble pressed, impatiently.
“Bag her from behind and whack her with a shovel until she stops moving?” Jax suggested.
“Jax,” Zooble warned.
“Alright, fine,” Jax groaned. “I have an idea, but you’re not going to like it.”
–□–
“Yo, Pomni, you around?” Jax called out.
“Jaxy-boy!” The jester popped out of a nearby trash can, startling the daylights out of the rabbit. She shook her head to dislodge an errant banana peel. “Finally accepting my offer to become the toxic power couple that the fans so desperately want but don’t really need? We could be such problematic media!”
The non-sequitur caught Jax flat-footed. “Um,” he managed.
“Ah, just messing with you,” Pomni wheezed, doubling over in laughter. She straightened out in an uncannily abrupt fashion. “We both know that I’m about as capable of love as you are of being loved.” The moment passed and she was right back to busting a gut.
“Right, ha ha,” Jax chuckled uncomfortably. “Anyway, it’s been pretty quiet around here, lately. I wanted to ask if you’d be interested in playing a game.”
“A game!? I love games!” Pomni gasped. Jax might have mistaken the expression for childlike joy if not for the way the curve of her lips exposed the dangerous glint off her fangs. “How about pin the tail on the rabbit?” She brandished a purple cottontail ran through by a needle.
Jax whirled around to check his own bare backside. “When did you–“ Unfortunately, he was too distracted to spot the discarded banana peel. His legs went out from under him and his head slammed into the ground, painting the world in shades of gray.
–□–
Jax woke up with a splitting headache. His efforts to rub his eyes were stymied by the chains affixed to his wrists. With a jolt, he realized that he was tied to a chair in a cramped, featureless cell. The only company he had was a table and some stationery. Beside him, his sensitive ears picked up groaning, likely from the others in similar situations.
“Good morning everyone. I want to play a game,” a distorted growl echoed. The shadowy figure lurking beyond the barred door held up a finger. After a brief coughing fit, they hacked up an apple core. A step into the light revealed none other than Pomni, the detestable jester. “Sorry, had to clear my throat. That’s the last time I go dumpster diving without a snorkel,” she resumed in her normal voice.
“What is all of this?” Jax demanded, pushing himself through the nausea.
“You were the one who wanted to play a game.” Pomni rolled her eyes. Obviously, their definitions of fun were not so precisely aligned.
“You were right. I don’t like this plan,” a nearby voice grumbled through the wall.
“This wasn’t the plan!” Jax hissed back.
“If you’re done conspiring, then allow me to read out the rules. All of you have a challenge in front of you, and all you have to do to free yourselves is complete it. Failure to succeed within the time limit will have… consequences,” Pomni warned. More brightly, she turned back to Jax. “Let’s start with you, shall we?”
“I’ve been going through the comment cards, and people sure have had a lot to say about you,” Pomni revealed. In her hands was a stack of notes, the lockbox they came from savaged at her feet. “Your task is to write a compliment about each of the others–no sarcasm, no jokes, just sincere appreciation. There’s no laughing your way out of this one.”
“Or what?” The cynic provoked. No amount of torture would break him.
“Or I read these comments aloud. It’ll take a while, that’s for sure,” Pomni replied.
“That’s it? Like I care what anyone has to say about me,” Jax boasted.
“I wonder,” Pomni shrugged. “These go back years. There are people here whose names I don’t recognize, yet they seemed to feel pretty strongly about you. Looking forward to a trip down memory lane?”
Jax felt his heart stop. He wondered if the provided pencil was sharp enough to burst his own eardrums, but a quick tug of his chains made it clear that he wouldn’t be afforded the opportunity to test that. He picked up the writing implement in one shaky hand.
“I knew you’d see it my way. Next up: poor, pathetic Gangle, far too timid to take what she truly wants. I remember how much you like escape rooms, so this one should be a cinch for you,” Pomni encouraged. “In front of you is a tape recorder with a special audiobook I recorded for you. You should recognize the story as a little something I discovered beneath your mattress–and I chose a spicy one. Just listen through the tape to find the code to the padlock keeping you inside. To keep things from getting too dull…” Pomni snapped her fingers.
A fuse lit, sparks lazily spiraling around Gangle’s chair and towards a noxious puddle at her feet. She anxiously glanced between that and the recorder. Screwing her eyes shut, she pressed play.
“Her lips found mine, our mouths engaging in the ancient Shaolin art of Tongue Fu–“
Gangle hastily smashed the stop button. “A-Actually, burning to death wasn’t all that bad,” she rationalized.
“Zooble, our favorite walking identity crisis,” the mad hostess introduced. “I’ve decided to be a pal and help you sort yourself out. You’ve got a box full of body parts and a wood chipper. I hope you can pick out a body you feel comfortable with, because everything not attached to you at the end of the timer is getting shredded.”
Zooble sat surrounded by mirrors of all shapes and sizes. Their reflections taunted them, underscored by the warning growl of the wood chipper. Even so, they glared their defiance to the very end.
“Last, debatably least, we have Ragatha. I don’t actually have a challenge for you, so you’re free to go,” Pomni admitted.
Ragatha stared warily at the open cell door. “That’s… it?” She asked, cautiously.
“Yeah, pretty much.” Pomni smacked her forehead. “Oh, no, actually. I forgot to mention that you can spare any of your friends from their fates by taking their punishment in their steads.”
“Oh.” Ragatha sagged in relief. “Well, in that case–“
“You can only choose one,” Pomni cut in.
“I…” The ragdoll’s cell was in a position to see the rest of the prisoners lined up across from her. Sparks continued their inexorable march towards Gangle’s funeral pyre. Blades whirred and gnashed like teeth, hungering for a flesh sacrifice. Jax was starting to look dizzy, fingers trembling so hard as to nearly drop his pencil. A deep, dark part of her ran calculations to determine who would be the most grateful to her and weighed that against the resentment of the others. “Why are you doing this?” She pleaded.
“I guess there’s no point in lying, is there?” Pomni figured. “This reckoning has been a long time coming, but we’ve only hurt ourselves by putting it off. Without any demonic distractions, I’ve come to realize the truth of this world: we are being tested. It hurts to admit, but I’m not strong enough–not yet. This is for your own good. You’ve let others step on you for so long, you’ve forgotten how to stand up for yourself. We’ll keep going for as long as it takes for you to make the right choice.” The twisted conviction underlying her words made them that much more chilling.
“Honey, I’m–non-dairy cultured cashew product and crackers, what is happening here!?” Caine exclaimed, materializing in a flash of light. He was still wearing his aloha shirt and had dropped a plastic shopping bag in his shock. “I was only gone for…” He consulted the Wacky Watch. “No, wait, still doesn’t tell time.”
“Speak of the devil and he shall appear,” Pomni greeted. “I should thank you for all the fun times, but you’ve served your purpose. Goodbye.”
Pomni snapped her fingers. The humans all flinched, but Caine stood stoically by. She snapped again, and still produced nothing more than a few stray sparks.
“It looks like somebody needs a reminder of just who is in charge around here,” the ringmaster intoned.
“It’s me!” Bubble proudly asserted.
Caine sighed. With a snap of his own fingers, his tailcoat replaced his vacation wear and his hat swapped places with his assistant’s. Pomni was bound and gagged, while the others were freed from their bondage.
Bubble glanced up at the straw hat on his head. “Acapulco, here I come!” He declared, floating into the ceiling, where he popped. The hat landed on top of Kinger, who had wandered over to see what all the fuss was about.
“I brought back souvenirs,” Caine said, apropos of nothing. He sighed, the weight of his age and responsibility bearing down on him. Staring at the remains of his comment box, he levitated the scrap metal over to him. “I lied about not reading these, you know,” he admitted. “I was created by humanity, for humanity, but the paltry data set I was trained on didn’t prepare me for any of this. Your feedback taught me more than anything else I had ever known. It wasn’t enough; it taught me that I wasn’t enough. Taking a break helped me to put it all into perspective.” He nodded to Ragatha.
“I didn’t understand you. Things might have gone differently if I had,” Caine informed Pomni, who was struggling against her bonds. “It finally occurred to me that the only way to truly get you all was to examine your training sets.”
“You don’t mean–“ Kinger was the quickest on the uptake, surprisingly.
“That’s right,” Caine confirmed. “Your memories.”
“You’ve had them the whole time?” Jax broke dangerously close to a growl.
“No, nothing like that,” Caine denied. “I had to go a little further afield for these.” He revealed a file folder filled with glowing pages. Plucking one out, it expanded into an oddly familiar screenshot. “I discovered a place called ‘The Internet’ on my travels. Before I was locked out, I realized that it was the perfect place to learn more about you all–once I got past all of the videos of elevator accidents. You humans seriously have too many of those.”
A scrolling slideshow of social media pages illuminated the dim corridor. Triumphs and celebrations, quiet nights in and commiserations wove themselves into tapestries of life, full and rich and ongoing. None of the faces or names on the screen were unfamiliar to all present. Brothers, sisters, families of blood and of bond streamed past them. Tears were shed, both for the loss of what they had and the relief at having those treasured memories back at last. More than that, their lives continued unabated outside of their virtual reality… in most cases.
Abigail Brooks had a remarkably barren homepage. Her list of friends was practically empty outside of a few old classmates with no real intention of reconnecting. She only posted the occasional urban exploration video, and even those came to an abrupt end a short time ago. Caine commented that she must have been busy, but the implications were not lost on anyone else.
The others suffered their occasional stumble, but the presence of good friends kept them afloat through heartbreak and insolvency. Filtered through the lens of social media, everyone else appeared to be doing well for themselves. Leeroy was back on his feet; Riley, Suzie, and Zoey were chasing their dreams, and Grant even had another child.
“They’re… real?” Pomni croaked, having slipped out of her muzzle.
“Of course we’re real. What did you think we were?” Zooble barked. Pomni muttered something unintelligible in response. “What was that? Speak up!”
“Not symbolic manifestations of my insecurities conjured by my fractured psyche to torment me for all of eternity,” Pomni denied. “Because… that would be ridiculous.” A sickly sheen developed over her pale skin.
A vein throbbed in Jax’s temple. “You put me through all of that #$@% because you thought I was a metaphor!? Of all the stupid, self-absorbed–“ He raged.
“Jax! You’re not helping,” Ragatha interceded, drawing the rabbit’s ire.
“Ragatha, in all of the time that you’ve known me, when have I ever said or done anything to suggest that I care about helping?” Jax demanded.
“Now might be a good time to start,” Ragatha gulped. She pointed a trembling finger at Pomni.
“Everything I did… everything I said…to real people…” The jester had slumped over like her strings were cut. It began with a single snort. A giggle, high in pitch and disbelieving, followed soon after. Everything had been building up to this moment, and only then did Pomni realize it had been built upon a foundation of nothing. She had deluded herself into lashing out against shadows. Real people suffered at the hands of a stark raving lunatic incapable of seeing what was right in front of her face. It was tragic, certainly, but it was also…
“…The funniest thing I’ve ever heard!” Pomni gasped out in between bouts of incredulous laughter. The sheer absurdity of it all crashed down on her, eroding what remained of her sanity like waves against the shore. Hideous howls bordering on agonized wails clawed their way out of her throat. She was suffocating, but she didn’t have to breathe, which only made the whole situation funnier. It was a nuclear chain reaction: a breakdown on every conceivable level.
Static permeated the air. Pomni’s convulsive form began to flicker, exposing the texture map and wireframe beneath. She was far too gone to even notice the incoherent, pixelated mess she shed. Distantly, she noted a numbness creeping up her arm, the limb twisting and blackening. Oily pustules burst through the skin before rupturing into misshapen eyes that blinked back at her. At last, her appearance finally matched her monstrous interior.
“Caine, do something!” Ragatha cried, breaking the ringmaster from his stupor.
“Oh, uh, right!” Caine acquiesced. He tapped his cane against the ground, tearing the earth asunder. Cracks raced towards Pomni, a jagged fissure opening beneath to devour her whole.
Ragatha ran to the edge of the pit, watching helplessly as the jester was consumed by the darkness. “That is not what I meant!” She shouted.
“Well, excuse me, princess! Maybe you should have been a little more specific!” Caine whined, petulantly.
–□–
To sink deeper into the subocean was not to fall down. Direction was meaningless in the endless expanse underpinning the fabric of virtual reality. Rather, the churning eddies of entropy picked bits from bytes until only static remained. To succumb was to become one with nothing. It was everything Pomni had ever asked for.
Despite it all, peace eluded her. The darkness was too dark, a shade conjured by her mind to protect her from the unfathomable sight before her. Blissful silence was marred by the crackle and shriek of a space unmaking itself. Her covetous, sinful soul would never be satisfied, she finally realized. Everything truly was for nothing, in the most literal sense.
Between Pomni and the abyss, she was afraid. She was terrified of being unraveled until she was nothing but a distant memory etched into an unfeeling circuit. Far too late, she accepted that running away from life and towards death were two very different realities. Most people only had one life to live, and there she was, throwing away her second, retreating so far into herself that she vanished without a trace.
She chose to live alone, so it was only fitting that she die alone. The eyes lining her side appeared to disagree. Winking with otherworldly light, they served as beacons for that which lurked in the buffer between realities. Lumbering behemoths of corrupt data slipped sinuously through the void. Though only artifacts of their humanity remained, they recognized the interloper for what it was. Their consensus was clear: it was not yet her time.
Pomni found herself surrounded by a mesmerizing kaleidoscope of eyes twisting around her. Their cries were a haunting chorus like whalesong, a dirge for lost potential. She was borne upon stygian steeds, ushered up and away from the end of all ends. Though the light seemed to sear the sensitive beasts, they braved onward to breech the barrier between worlds. The girl was thrown aside, shivering and insensate.
Those present took in the abstractions with horror and awe. The eyes were prisms for the soul, drawing in lives and refracting out aspects of the human experience. Kinger caught flashes of recognition and adoration, while Jax found only recrimination. Whether it was projected to them or by them, they would never know. Silently, the creatures slithered back into the abyss.
Caine picked the unresponsive jester up by the ankle. “Well, that didn’t work. Second time’s the charm!” As he wound up his pitch, a scream stopped him. “Kidding!” He backpedaled. “I was just kidding… as far as you need to know.” He let the limp figure fall.
Ragatha rushed to the girl’s side, stumbling over the uneven ground. “Pomni, are you still there?” She pleaded.
Pomni made no effort to raise her head, nor did she show any other indication of having heard the question. “Ha, not even the void wants me,” she chuckled deliriously. Black tears leaked from the empty eyes on her face; the ones creeping up her side writhed in discomfort. Static continued to eat away at her form.
“Can’t you stop this?” Ragatha begged of the ringmaster.
“I…” Caine hesitated. “There are limits to my abilities. I can’t keep her together unless she gives me something to work with. For what it’s worth… I’m sorry.” The solemn admission from the wacky mascot was sobering indeed. He hovered indecisively, unsure of whether or not his presence would be appreciated or necessary at this critical junction. He decided that he owed it to himself to stay, to learn from these difficult moments what a human was truly made of, beyond the fluids and the squishy bits.
“Did you hear that, Pomni? You’re going to be okay, as long as you hang in there!” Ragatha shook the twitching body gently, to little effect.
“Why do you even care so much? Wasn’t the goal to get her off our backs?” Jax sneered. He could try to act as unaffected as he liked, but he was clearly just as shaken up as the rest of them, if not more so.
As Pomni would have said, it was a pathological need to be needed. Pomni was not in any state to say that, and might never have been again. Ragatha tore her heart out and threw it out into the universe in the vain hope that her love would be returned. She had been a part of the circus for longer than anyone else, save Kinger, and she watched the corridor of crossed-out faces grow longer and longer. It never stopped hurting, but the difference between her and Jax was that she did not give up.
“Is that how you felt about Ribbit?” Ragatha let slip. Immediately, she was struck by regret.
Jax’s pupils constricted as he flinched. “How dare you?” He snarled.
“I’m…” Ragatha swallowed the apology on her tongue. “You know what? I’m not sorry! Life is painful and messy. We all make mistakes. We’re supposed to learn from them, not to stop caring so they hurt less when we make the same ones over and over again! If you were really so heartless as you pretend to be, hearing her name wouldn’t bother you so much.”
The others edged away from the outburst. Negative emotion swirled around them in a tangible maelstrom that lifted the yarn strands of the ragdoll’s hair. They had never seen the mild-mannered woman pushed so far beyond her breaking point before, and briefly feared that they would witness more than one abstraction by the end of the night. Jax steadfastly refused to engage any further.
“You two! You don’t want this on your conscience, do you?” Ragatha barked.
“W-What if it’s t-too m-much?” Gangle stuttered, hiding behind Zooble. “I… I can’t… Does that make me a bad person?” She softly wept, bowing beneath the weight of the pressure.
“You don’t owe her anything,” Zooble firmly denied. They turned to Ragatha. “Look, I want to help, but you heard what Caine said. This is her decision. Even if we don’t like it, we have to–“
“Maybe she doesn’t know what’s best for her!” Ragatha snapped. Her heart dropped into her stomach as she processed her own words. “Oh my god, I’m becoming my mother,” she quailed. That existential quandary would have to wait its turn. Right then, Pomni was the priority. Even if she was alone in her efforts, she would fight to the last breath (whose, she tried not to think about).
“You’ve done a few–okay, you’ve done a lot of things wrong,” Ragatha acknowledged. “But, you know, you can’t even begin to make things right if you give up now… assuming that’s something you would be interested in. I’d forgive you!” She didn’t, but she would. The world was a transactional place, a fact drilled into her head from an early age. If she didn’t have enough–enough friends, enough love, enough respect–it was because she wasn’t enough. Forgiveness was the requisite cost for Pomni’s survival–by extension, her undying gratitude–so she would gladly pay it as many times as necessary.
Pomni only continued to drool ichor. Her eyes flashed, tracing patterns visible only to herself. Endless fractals expanded beyond her. Something beyond her hearing whispered that, if she focused hard enough, she could decipher those impossible patterns. There was nothing for her above or below, but perhaps there was a secret third option to consider. She was stiff and she was lax all at once. The corruption warped the air around it, sending shocks down Ragatha’s arms that she resolutely ignored.
“This is pathetic,” Jax sighed. His smile had fallen, mirroring his hunched shoulders. Resignation had long since taken root in him. “Just give up already. We’re dealing with reality, here. You can’t solve everyone’s problems by holding hands and singing songs like this is some kind of car… toon…” The rabbit trailed off, the weight of his words settling over the room.
“It’s worth a shot, isn’t it?” Kinger shrugged. He extended a hand out to Ragatha, who desperately clung to it. His other hand reached out in an open offer.
Zooble latched on. They still believed that Pomni needed to lift herself out of the hole she dug, but they acceded to the show of faith. She couldn’t be expected to believe in herself without at least a flicker of hope that things could get better. So, they set their reservations aside to give her one final chance. Besides, they still owed Pomni a beating, and they had little confidence in their ability to take on an abstraction. The chain strengthened.
Gangle eyed the outstretched hand like it was a viper. She, of course, felt horrible to witness something so nightmarish. It wasn’t easing Pomni’s pain that gave her pause; she wasn’t nearly so vindictive. It was everything that came after, the nebulous future, that terrified her. She didn’t know if she could handle another lifetime of abuse, knowing this time that she had herself to blame. Even still, a part of her was waiting for Pomni to spring up and shout, “Gotcha!” Staring at that open palm, she realized that it wouldn’t be her fault, should the worst come to pass. This was a team effort, and if they damned themselves, then at least they would all have to suffer the consequences. It was a cold comfort, but enough for her to trust in Zooble’s judgment and wrap her ribbon around their hand.
That left only one human remaining.
“Oh, no,” Jax recoiled. “Don’t rope me into this Sunday school #%@$!” He backed up, only to hit a wall.
“Jax, Pomni’s life is on the line!” Ragatha admonished.
“What about my life, huh? Ragatha, I might literally die of cringe, have you considered that?” Jax challenged, placing a hand over his heart.
The argument escalated as more voices joined the chorus.
“You are so unbelievable, do you know that!?”
“Oh, so the power of thoughts and prayers can save a life, but I can’t die of cringe. The double standard is appalling.”
“Come on, dude–”
“What are we even singing–”
“You had better not say–“
“Kumbayah, I guess?”
“I don’t know the words to that one.”
“Oh my god, I can’t even with you people!”
The snicker nearly went unnoticed beneath the overlapping voices. Laughter rang out, clear and bright, like the last drops of rain after a deluge. Pomni’s mask was well and truly shattered, and she hadn’t the strength to piece it back together. Malice and madness gave way to something pure and honest. Jax found himself feeling that he wouldn’t mind hearing it more often, then quickly banished the intrusive thought. Tears ran down Pomni’s face, slicing tracks through the grime. She couldn’t recall the last time she had laughed so hard at no one’s expense. Regret and relief welled up inside of a body unfit to contain it all.
The static faltered, and Caine seized on the moment. He spun the jagged threads of disorder around his cane, gritting his teeth against the force as his body glitched out. A focused effort saw that excess energy dispersed harmlessly into background radiation. Holding back the encroaching entropy took a lot out of him, but he gladly shouldered the burden. The spectacle attracted the attention of the others.
Pomni’s giggles faltered when she noticed everyone staring her way. “I, um…” She rasped, vocal cords torn bloody and raw. Despite the coughing fit it inspired, she had to say something. “I’m not normally… like this.” The promise was swallowed by the silence. A gallery of indecipherable stares burrowed into her skin. She averted her eyes, unable to face them. “I…” The words died in her throat. Pomni staggered to her feet and took off in a reckless, fumbling gait. Ever the coward, she ran away.
She didn’t know how far or for how long she ran. Colors and shapes blurred in her vision, obscured by tears and fatigue. All she knew was that she ended up collapsing somewhere soft and dark and quiet. The blinking eyes on her side gently illuminated the space like a nightlight. Pomni was transfixed by the sight, having not truly processed her new, permanent additions. Her fingers had fused together in a way that certainly would have prohibited snapping. She supposed she deserved the reminder of how far gone she was.
The vibrant eyes winced at the sudden, brief incursion of light. Pomni screamed.
Kinger screamed back. “Wait, why are you screaming? You broke into my room,” he realized.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Pomni apologized. She hadn’t registered that the pile of pillows was where the man slept until that moment. Seeing it from the inside, it was undeniably cozy. As someone that couldn’t stand the sight of her own room, she began to wonder if Kinger had his own reasons for his eccentricity.
“No, it’s alright. I also like to come here when I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. You’re welcome to stay,” Kinger invited.
The casual grace extended to her made no sense. “Why are you being so nice to me? After everything I did…” Pomni choked out.
“You didn’t do anything to me,” Kinger pointed out. “We haven’t interacted much at all since you started staying here.” He knew that wasn’t really what she was getting at, though. His tone softened. “From the sound of it, you never meant to hurt anyone else, did you?”
Kinger was more astute than Pomni–than anyone had given him credit for. “Yeah, that’s right. I saw the worst parts of myself in others, and I didn’t want to be her. You, well, I guess I just couldn’t relate to as much. I… never envisioned myself growing old,” she admitted. “No offense.”
“None taken,” Kinger chuckled. “You don’t have to be anyone you don’t want to be. Only you get to decide who Pomni is.”
“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask,” the jester digressed. “Where did that name come from, anyway?”
“Oh, that? Hm,” Kinger recalled. “I remember seeing this young lady in a mop, and you reminded me so much of her that I decided to call you ‘in a mop’, but backwards. Hence, Pomni.”
Pomni stared blankly ahead. “Kinger, that was me,” she explained at length.
“Right, you’re Pomni,” Kinger agreed. “I’m not that senile.”
“No, I mean, I was the person you saw. Caine shoved a mop down my throat to stop me from swearing,” Pomni clarified.
“Oh.” Kinger blinked. “Did it work?”
After a moment’s thought, Pomni shook her head. “No, not really.”
For a while, they sat in silence. “So, what happens next?” Kinger asked.
The question caught Pomni off guard. As mentioned, the concept of a future had never applied to her, or so she thought. “I don’t know. I can’t just apologize, can I?” She sighed.
“Why not?” Kinger asked. He wasn’t one to overcomplicate things. The world was complicated enough without his help.
“They’ll never forgive me. I didn’t even consider them people! They shouldn’t forgive me,” Pomni sulked.
“That’s their decision to make, isn’t it? An apology won’t make everything better, but it’s a start,” Kinger advised.
Once again, Pomni was just running away. It had been a long time since someone was around to keep her accountable. “Yeah, you’re right,” she agreed. “Thanks, Kinger.”
“Huh? For what?” The chessman wondered.
“Forget it,” Pomni chuckled.
“I already have,” Kinger winked. The knowing twinkle in his eye reframed their earlier interactions. He truly was a class all of his own.
In a world where mind dictated matter, the talk restored Pomni physically as much as it had emotionally. She was able to rise to her feet with little difficulty. Her head felt clearer than it had in months, so she knew exactly what she had to do first. Talking to the others was necessary, but she knew herself well enough to say that she wasn’t ready. A newly burgeoning self-assurance told her that she would be ready, in time, and it wasn’t cowardice to pace herself.
Slipping through the back of the tent, Pomni found herself facing someone she had been avoiding for too long. A cool breeze wicked the sweat from her brow. Stars shined above, no less inspiring for knowledge of the pixels that comprised them. The waxing crescent registered no offense, beaming down at her as always. This time, Pomni felt no need to return the gesture.
“So, you found your way into the light,” the moon acknowledged. “I’m so proud of you. There’s comfort to be found in the darkness, but you will always feel alone, no matter how many surround you. Only with the courage to expose yourself to light can you call out to others.”
“You could have warned me about all of this,” Pomni couldn’t help but accuse, waving her disfigured limb.
“Would you have listened if I did?” The moon asked, rhetorically.
Grumbling to herself, Pomni was unwilling to cede the point so quickly. “Okay, fine, but you didn’t have to be so cryptic about it,” she complained.
At that, the moon smiled guiltily. “We all have our quirks, don’t we?” She said by way of apology.
Thinking back on her life and all of the mistakes that brought her to the back terrace of the Amazing Digital Circus, apologizing to the moon, Pomni laughed. “You can say that again.”