Chapter Text
There was no feminine or masculine way to be clever and tactical.
That was what Qin Che firmly believed, and also the reason why he had woken up at the crack of dawn to stand in the garden among flower blossoms, fresh from the dew.
When he discovered the creative works of the noblewomen to pass information from far distances and spread gossip among the meetings, he smirked. Because giving such power to seemingly innocent, fragile flowers was something impressive. And he had learned the secret language as soon as he noticed how noblemen disregarded this subtle communication system for useless misconceptions.
He was confident that a former princess still remembered how to interpret it, thanks to her witty mind. So he stopped in front of the peonies and began pruning some, the most beautiful and soft-looking.
“...too many,” he grumbled under his breath as he stared down at the pale-blush flowers. He didn’t want to come off as desperate or presumptuous enough to ask for forgiveness. It wasn’t his thing.
The early breeze caressed the petals, making the flowers sway gently from one side to the other, and when he lifted his head, he saw them.
Yellow blossoms.
A fresh beginning.
“These will do.” He reached over to prune them in equal measure, unafraid to leave a generous, sweet-scented bouquet in their bedroom.
A sharp caw and the noise of a beak tapping against the window distracted him from work. Qin Che sighed heavily as he lowered the document he was revising and glanced at the crow flapping its wings. He frowned as he watched it make noise without perching on the windowsill, and understood its request. Standing up, he walked around the desk and exited the studio to go outside.
The crow cawed approvingly and flew in front of him, stopping on a fence or a tree branch to check if he was following. Qin Che walked through the maze of gardens with slow steps, despite the urgency the crow seemed to have, and he froze in front of the pavilion.
In the shady area offered by the construction, there was Pei Zhi.
She sat on the wooden bench, her gaze fixed straight ahead, past the koi pond, with her hands interlaced resting on her lap. There wasn’t any painting item or a book… nothing. She sat there, looking like she was waiting for something. For someone.
The crow left before Qin Che could give it a withering glance. He wasn’t going to forgive the bird’s betrayal so easily for having led him into a trap like that… But it was too late now to walk away.
“May I?”
He questioned, his voice a low murmur to not disturb her peace, as he came to stand beside her, his head nodding towards the empty space on the bench.
“Yes, you may.” She answered just as quietly but didn’t turn to watch him take a seat.
Maintaining a respectable distance when he sat down, his shoulder involuntarily brushed against hers. Before he could move further to the side, though, Pei Zhi shifted on her seat and deliberately pressed their shoulders together.
His eyes widened at the gentle contact.
He tried to catch her gaze but she stubbornly looked ahead instead.
Then Qin Che noticed the pink blush colouring her cheeks.
The hint of a smile tugged at his lips.
She understood his message, and now sent one back to him.
He understood it as discreet permission to move closer.
The realisation stirred a warm, irrepressible emotion inside his chest.
“Did you ever wonder why I never touched you?”
The question escaped from his mouth before his mind could restrain him. And even though he felt her growing slightly stiff beside him, Qin Che didn’t take back his words.
“Not even once… despite being married for months now?”
He watched her take a deep breath, mulling things over instead brushing him away. He waited for her answer, his thumb fidgeting with the jade ring around his middle finger.
His tone hadn’t been accusatory. Just curious. Like he genuinely wanted to know if that kind of distance between them bothered her -or if perhaps it hadn’t crossed her mind at all.
“I did,” she admitted after some time. Her gaze lowered down on her lap as she seemed to collect her thoughts before continuing.
“In the beginning, I thought you saw me like another trinket of your luxurious collection.” She murmured while she mentally recalled their very first meeting. “Then I noticed that it was your way of respecting me, so... I came to the conclusion that you had just wanted a wife for the public image, not because you actually needed a lover.”
His eyebrows lifted slightly at her honest answer. He imagined that she had studied him with the same wariness he had done with her back then, but… he hadn’t expected her to analyse him so deeply.
Something unreadable flickered across his face.
Then an incredulous chuckle rumbled from his chest.
“Respect?” He repeated the word with quiet amusement, and their gazes locked together for the first time this morning as she finally turned her head towards him.
“You thought I kept our distance because I respected you?”
Her assumption was technically right but it wasn’t the full truth.
Qin Che shook his head as he leaned forward, closing that space between them in one smooth movement until his forehead almost touched her. The narrow distance allowed him to catch the way her breath hitched, her shoulders tightening defensively. He could tell that she was struggling to make sense of his reply, and he found her curiosity amusing.
“I didn't touch you... because I was afraid.”
The confession was whispered between them, a barely there sound because it cost Qin Che to say such a thing. But there wasn’t any other way to clarify her wonderings about his persona.
A myriad of emotions swirled into her eyes as she let his words sink in.
“You… you were afraid?” She questioned, more confused than before.
He nodded in confirmation, the tip of their noses almost grazing against one another.
“...of you.”
He didn’t know why he was letting this vulnerability out.
There was an urge that tugged at some strings inside his chest and made him crave to reveal his cards to her… just like that. Because he needed her to understand him fully. Not just whatever impression his reputation had given in his place.
“I didn't know how you'd react if I... got closer like this.”
His voice dropped lower, “You were sold into marriage against your will. What if daring to reach out made you hate me more?”
He watched her cheeks turning redder while she listened to him and re-contextualised his behaviour. His fingers twitched where they rested on the bench as he resisted the temptation to cup her face and see if her skin was as warm as he was imagining it to be.
“I never hated you.” She mumbled quietly, and his heart stuttered.
“...yes, I was angry and upset. But my resentment was reserved for the people who had actually offended me… belittling me and selling me off as if I was a mere object.”
The tension in his shoulders eased visibly at her words -like a weight had been lifted.
His eyes, usually so sharp and calculating, softened with something dangerously close to relief.
If Pei Zhi hadn’t ever hated him, then-
“Oh-! …ehm, M-Master…?”
A servant clearing his voice out loud before peering inside the pavilion made him realise how close to her he had gotten unconsciously.
Their mouths had almost aligned if it hadn’t been for the interruption.
Now the emotional atmosphere was broken.
She had fully turned the other way to hide her flustered expression, and he…
He sighed heavily as he leaned back against the bench.
“Yes?”
His annoyed expression made the servant squirm in their place before justifying their arrival:
“A-A herald asked... asked for you, Master.”