Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

5:10pm

“Oh my god Jackie you were incredible-”

“No you were incredible - Tai that play! And besides I was literally using your body, holy crap-”

“Okay, but you totally pulled it off - that pass!”

“No, no that goal!”

Tai grips Jackie’s forearms, feels herself grinning wildly with excitement and sees that grin mirrored back to her on her own face. Fascinating.

If this weren’t so fucking freaky it’d be kind of cool, but it is freaky as fuck so. Whatever. She’s already getting used to it, faster than she would’ve imagined possible. The human brain truly is endlessly adaptable.

That said, staying this way is absolutely one-thousand-percent unacceptable, out of the question. Obviously. It goes without saying, but she leans in close to say it anyway, since it does still need to be dealt with and all…

“Okay, so, what do we do now?”

They don’t have much time to talk, nor much privacy - not huddled together in the steamy locker room, surrounded by their half-naked teammates scrubbing themselves clean. No one is paying them any mind - for now - but it’s hardly the ideal location to be having this conversation.

“Shit.” 

Jackie’s elated smile drops off her face like a rock, replaced by a look of intense concentration that almost jars a giggle loose from Tai - Van is always saying she can read her like a book, and well, she can, but Tai didn’t realize anyone could. 

“Right… well-”

“Jax, aren’t you showering? I’m almost ready to go.”

Shauna interrupts them before Jackie can even get a full sentence out, dropping her chin onto Tai’s shoulder and wrapping her arms around her midsection. The feeling of it is so comfortable - so familiar - that for a second, before she remembers, Tai expects to see a constellation of freckles smattered across Shauna’s forearms. 

“Ahhhh… yep. Yeah, absolutely.”

She reluctantly agrees. There’s no way around it, Jackie would obviously go with Shauna. Fuck.

“I’ll see you at the party tonight, right?”

Jackie shoots her a pointed look, and Christ - Tai makes a mental note to tone down the eyes when she’s trying to send a covert message. It’s a bit much.

“…Right. Of course.”

The fucking party. 

It’s the last place Tai wants to be in Jackie Taylor’s fucking body, but that too seems unavoidable. Tai might have the option to skip a social event she doesn’t want to go to, but Jackie certainly doesn’t. It’s expected she be there. Lord.

Jackie grabs her wrist, squeezing it in a death grip. Tai catches a flash of their matching pair of Misty’s friendship bracelets pressed together before Jackie yanks, pulling her right out of Shauna’s arms and into her own. She breathes into Tai’s ear-

“You go to my house first to pick up your outfit options. Get something cute. Then you go to Shauna’s, to change. She’ll make you eat something, too. Jeff will pick you both up for the party. He can get a little…”

She falters for a second, then presses on.

“…Handsy, when he’s drinking. Try to dodge him, please?”

Tai winces, thankfully well out of Jackie’s line of sight. She’d almost managed to forget about Jeff. Almost. Of course, it was too good to last.

“Oh yeah. Don’t worry about that. It won’t be a problem.”

Tai murmurs back. It really won’t be a problem. Sorry, Jackie. 

Now what could be a problem, of course, is Van. But Tai doesn’t think Van would try anything at the party, not before the end of the night, with so many people around… she should have a chance to corner Jackie before that, but it couldn’t hurt to warn her to try to keep her distance, just in case…

“And Jackie… about Van…”

But Jackie’s already disengaging, her work done. Nodding and stepping away, satisfied. She lets Tai go, pushing her off with a cheery-

“Amazing! Can’t wait!!!”

To the bemused looks of both Shauna and Van, hovering together now on the perimeter of their council. Whatever. It’ll be fine.

5:26pm

It occurs to Jackie only after Tai and Shauna have gone that Tai didn’t leave any instructions for her. Shit. Well that’s unfortunate. She has to do everything around here.

“Van…”

Jackie purrs, sidling up to Van and draping herself over her back the way she does when she needs something from Shauna. 

“Mmm?”

Van hums, rocking back into Jackie as she props her foot up on the bench, bent over to tie a loose shoelace.

“Do you want to do me a favor…?”

“What is it?”

Van looks back over her shoulder, eyes narrowed in suspicion. 

“I know that tone - you didn’t get into it with Nat about…”

Van lowers her voice.

“…Allie again, did you? Because you know I can’t-”

“No, no. Nothing like that.”

Jackie assures her, nevermind that of what she doesn’t know. She’s desperately curious what that’s about, but logistics must be dealt with before gossip.

She plasters on her most charming smile.

“Just… drive us to the party tonight?”

“Oh.”

Van tugs her knot tight and straightens up, turning around to study Jackie a little too closely for comfort. 

“Really? You want me to drive your dad’s car?? Again???”

“Yep.”

Jackie nods, still smiling. She strokes Van’s arm absentmindedly, trailing her fingers down from Van’s freckled shoulder to her bicep to her wrist to her palm, tangling their fingers together when she reaches the end of the line. 

“I could really use a break… I trust you completely.”

That does the trick. Van puffs out her chest, grinning. 

“Yeah. Yeah absolutely, I’ll drive.”

Perfect. She has really got to tell Tai to try this.

7:54pm

Tai flings down an armful of Jackie’s clothes onto Shauna’s bed, regarding them with distaste. It’s not that Jackie’s clothes are bad - some of them are pretty cute, actually - it’s just that they’re not really Tai. But then again, she’s not really Tai right now. She’s Jackie. So.

She surveys her options, ultimately selecting a little black floral number with a strappy back that both screams Jackie and does not scream Lilly Pulitzer. Acceptable. 

Tai politely turns away from Shauna to disrobe and shimmy the skimpy thing on - it’s a no-bra kind of dress, and while they’re all butt-ass naked in front of each other in the locker room showers every day, somehow this feels different. 

Straight girls probably don’t show off their tits to each other, right?

In any case, she’s not looking at Shauna while she changes, so by the time Tai turns around and finds Shauna waiting - fidgeting, tugging at her clothes - for a comment on her outfit, Tai’s clearly already kept her waiting too long. Oops.

“So…”

Shauna prompts, surprisingly shy.

“What do you think?”

“Oh, cute!!” 

Tai exclaims, in her best impression of Jackie. 

And Shauna does look cute - a little dykey, if Tai’s being honest, but that’s just how Shauna dresses. She’s got on a short-sleeved maroon button-up and a black skirt with matching silver snaps. It’s not super dykey or anything - just enough to be cute. (Tai thinks, anyway.)

But Shauna doesn’t react as expected to Tai’s totally normal, perfectly innocuous compliment. She actually frowns, recoiling, nose wrinkled. Uh oh.

“Wait, really?”

Fuck. What could possibly have been the problem with that?!

“…Yes?”

“You don’t want me to like, wear the boob dress? Or that skirt you say makes my ass look amazing? Or the tiny little-”

Tai is already preparing to say no, of course not, you should wear whatever you want, when Shauna’s words fully register. Huh. 

…What is she supposed to do with that? Not ignore it, surely. And if her interest is piqued, well, that’s only natural.

“Now that you mention it, let’s see the boob dress.”

Tai interrupts. She flops back on the bed, lounging propped up on her elbows. Now, this could be interesting.

Shauna strips with no hesitation, right in front of Tai and god and whoever else might be watching. And the dress she fishes out of her clothing rack and pulls over her head is… 

“Wowza, Shipman.”

Tai remarks, cheering internally when Shauna blushes, fighting to suppress a smile. Nailed it. 

Jackie always says that ridiculous shit, and while it sounds dumb as hell, Tai’s got to admit - it’s kind of fun. 

And as for the dress, well. Tai was clearly wrong about the tits thing. Even if she hadn’t gotten an eyeful a minute ago, the dress shows off everything. It’s a red crushed velvet, not unlike Tai’s own in its silhouette. Skimpy, low cut, and short and clingy in all the right places. It doesn’t look like Shauna at all, but Shauna definitely looks good in it.

So this is what Jackie wants her to wear. 

They are more matchy-matchy in this - the dresses look similar and the red of Shauna’s complements the red flowers on Tai’s. She wouldn’t put it past Jackie to demand coordination. 

It doesn’t escape her either that when she hops off the bed, pulling on Jackie’s tan jean jacket in preparation to leave, Shauna glances at her before grabbing a matching denim version out of her closet. 

Interesting.

9:21pm

Tai squeezes the nozzle of the keg’s hose, filling up her cup with yet another round of frothy beer. She’s starting to feel a little fuzzy, and maybe she should cool it, but after the day she’s had does she not at least deserve a drink?! (Or two, or three, or four… or maybe even five?) 

Her cup is half foam anyway, and it’s not like she’s driving - Shauna hopped behind the wheel before Tai even had the chance to ask, and it’s not like she was going to say no.

Besides, god knows she could certainly use something to take the edge off - she’s got her head on a swivel, on the lookout for Jeff or Jackie or Van. The fact that Jackie and Van haven’t made any appearance yet is stressing her out, and just because Jeff didn’t drive her doesn’t mean he couldn’t still appear at any moment wanting to talk, or worse. 

She takes another nervous gulp… and nearly spits it out and spills the rest of her cup all over herself when someone’s hands snake around her waist from behind and squeeze.

“Holy shi-”

“Sorry! Sorry.”

Shauna squeaks, and oh wow. Just Shauna. Okay. 

Tai breathes a heavy sigh of relief, turning to face a guilty-looking Shauna.

“No, no you’re good. Sorry - I’m just a little on edge.”

Shauna chews her lip, wringing her hands. Her eyes dart between Tai’s and the ground.

“I wasn’t thinking - I shouldn’t, here… I know.”

Which is puzzling, and Tai knows she’s not operating at one-hundred-percent right now which is probably a really fucking stupid way to be operating in this situation, but she can’t change that now - all she can do, apparently, is squint at Shauna like an idiot and say:

“Uh… is everything okay?”

“Yeah - yeah totally. I just thought… y’know?”

Shauna’s looking at her, eyes desperately wide, and fuck! Tai doesn’t fucking know, obviously. Shit.

Shauna wilts in the silence.

“It’s stupid. Nevermind.”

“No!”

Tai says - almost shouts, really - too loud, too strident. Oops.

Shauna flinches in surprise, and Tai doesn’t blame her, but it’s just - she wants to do this right, for Jackie, and she never would’ve imagined thinking that twenty four hours ago but as of right now it’s true. She already broke up with Jackie’s boyfriend, the least she can do is not fuck things up with her best friend too.

“I mean - it’s not. I really… I just… do you want to go somewhere more private?”

Tai stumbles over her words, scrambling urgently to buy herself some time. 

It must do the trick, thank god, because Shauna perks up.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

9:26pm

Van rolls to a stop well shy of the big clearing where the end of year kegger is traditionally held; far enough away still that the heavy bass of Randy’s older brother’s subwoofer barely reaches them, and the light from scattered cars and trucks and bulbs strung up in the trees doesn’t at all. 

There’s no one around. No one parks this far back - at least a five minute walk through the woods, maybe more - not when there’s plenty of open spots left along the side of the road stretching out in front of them. 

Van cuts the engine, leaving them in near-complete darkness. Jackie turns to face her. 

“Don’t you want to park a little closer…? There’s plenty of spots.”

“Yeah. Yeah I know. I will. I just thought…” 

Van’s eyes are wide and bright and so, so blue. In the dark they look even lighter - nothing like Shauna’s, which are deep and dark like the most delicious chocolate, far richer than anything Jackie would ever allow herself to eat. 

Nothing against Van, but Jackie thinks brown is much prettier.

She zones out a little, admittedly, thinking about Shauna’s eyes. So lost in her own world it takes her longer than it should to notice that Van’s eyes are getting bigger. Moving closer. 

Van shuffles onto her knees in her seat and then there’s a commotion - a sudden movement, a flurry of activity. Jackie startles when Van abruptly closes the distance - opens her mouth to gasp or something, but Van’s mouth is on hers before she has the chance. 

…Jackie freezes. (In her defense, she can’t help it!! She wasn’t prepared for this!!!) 

But in any case, she freezes for way longer than she should - long enough to take note in the slow-moving but still functional part of her brain that Van may act kind of like a boy, but she sure as hell doesn’t kiss like one. 

Van’s lips are soft and warm, plusher than Jackie’s ever noticed they look. Not thin, like Jeff’s, nor surrounded by the patchy sandpaper stubble that Jackie’s grown used to but secretly hates, both for how it feels in the moment and how it leaves her face burned and rashy afterwards. 

Van takes advantage of Jackie’s still-open mouth to slip her tongue in, but she doesn’t poke or prod or slobber. She’s gentle, cupping the back of Jackie’s neck and leaning over the center console to lay a hand on Jackie’s (blessedly clothed) thigh as she sucks Jackie’s bottom lip into her mouth, sinks in her teeth, and-

“Ah!”

Jackie jerks back, breaks free to gasp.

Because oh! Oh holy fucking shit!!! 

“Shit!” 

Van yelps-

“Are you okay??? Did I bite you?! What happened??”

Jackie’s chest is heaving and her head is spinning and she’s shaking and it finally makes sense - everything makes fucking sense - and she’s going to kill Tai, but maybe also kiss her, but first maybe she’s going to throw up.

“No - no it’s not… I’m so sorry, I just… I’m really… carsick. I… I don’t feel well.”

Jackie stammers, sweating and shivering, and she must look as sick as she feels because Van doesn’t question it for a second. She takes one look at Jackie and she’s jumping out and scurrying around to open her door, ushering her out of the car and into the sweet, fresh, cool night air.

“C’mon… let’s just… do you need to sit down?” 

Van steadies her, one hand squeezing her wrist - right on top of Misty Quigley’s weird little blue and yellow friendship bracelet - and the other wrapped firmly around her waist. And it’s sweet - it’s so sweet and so lovely and it’s somehow making Jackie feel even more violently ill. 

“I think… I just need… a minute.”

She croaks, doubling over and pulling away from a stricken Van.

“Are you sure?? I’ll stay with you-”

“No!”

Jackie insists, because she really must insist. She tempers it though - softens her eyes and her voice and reaches for Van’s hand, hooking their pinkies together. 

“I mean no, I really appreciate it, I just… I don’t want you to see this. I promise I’ll be fine. I just need to go. Over there. You should go ahead. I’ll meet you.”

Van looks for a second like she’s going to protest, but another, firmer look from Jackie and a pointed request does the trick-

“Get me a drink. Please? Something to settle my stomach… maybe a vodka cran?”

“Okay…”

Van frowns, rubbing the back of her neck.

“But if you aren’t back in twenty minutes I’m coming in after you.”

“Deal.”

Jackie sighs. Good enough.

9:28pm

They’ve been tromping through the woods for much longer than Tai expected, frankly, when Shauna finally stops and turns back to face her. They’ve got to have been walking for at least five minutes, away from the party until they’re well clear of any stragglers, and it’s dark back here. Dark and much, much quieter. 

“So…”

Tai seizes the initiative. Hoping maybe she can coax something out of Shauna, if she just frames the question right. Here alone, surrounded by nothing but the rustling of leaves, Shauna already seems far more at ease. 

Tai leans back against a wide tree trunk, trying to project comfort and confidence.

“You know…?”

She prompts.

“Yeah.”

Shauna breathes, stepping forward into her space.

“Yeah, I know.” 

And Tai doesn’t even have time to contemplate what that might mean before it’s already happening, so, so fast. Before Shauna’s pressed up against her - kissing her hard and hungry like she’s afraid Tai might try to run. 

Shauna’s body hems Tai in, pins her up against the tree, scraping Tai’s back on the rough bark. She tastes like sweet liquor - more than she probably should considering she’s driving, Tai thinks in some distant corner of her mind - and it’s sloppy and rough and wet, and their teeth click together and so do the pieces in Tai’s brain, fucking finally-

“Oh my god! Oh my god!!!” 

She rips her mouth off of Shauna’s, exclaims, because she just can’t not say it. She’s a little tipsy, sue her, and her mouth is moving a step ahead of her mind.

Shauna recoils in horror, the apology halfway out before Tai can stop her-

“M’sorry Jackie - oh god, I thought, Jeff, and you said-”

“Oh my god, Shauna, J- I mean, I, like you!”

Tai repeats, urgently, more to herself than Shauna if she’s honest. Jackie fucking Taylor. What are the fucking odds?!

“Huh??”

“Shauna. I like you. Did you know about this?!”

Tai wants to shake her - wants to shake Jackie, really, but Shauna is the only one here, so.

Shauna blushes, so deep Tai can see it creep up her neck to her cheeks to the tips of her ears, even in the dark.

“Um. Maybe, I guess? I don’t know… I didn’t think…?”

“Oh my god! Well I do, okay? You should know that. You deserve to know that.”

Tai declares, fuck the consequences. It’s true god damnit; she knows it, and Shauna deserves to know it, and for that matter so does Jackie! 

…Jackie, who Tai somehow feels both a deep sense of affection for, and also would like to personally strangle. And who also would probably really, really like it if Tai stopped kissing Shauna now.

“Also, I really have to pee. So badly. I just, I have to go. Can you just…?” 

It’s a monumentally lame excuse, but Tai puts everything she has into selling it. And maybe that’s why it works - it’s clearly so fucking bizarre for her to say at this particular moment, that Shauna has no choice but to believe her.

“Oh. Um, sure?”

Poor Shauna looks bemused, and Tai doesn’t blame her. But there are some things she simply cannot do for Jackie Taylor, all affection aside, and fucking Shauna Shipman is unequivocally one of them.

“I’ll be right back. Just, wait here… or don’t! You can just go back and I’ll find you.”

“Okay?”

Tai nods encouragingly.

“We’ll talk later!!”

9:42pm

Tai darts deeper into the woods, putting as much distance between her and Shauna as she can reasonably get away with. Maybe she can circle back to the main clearing and claim she got lost? Jackie and Van have got to be at the party by now. 

But she doesn’t get very far before she encounters… something. Someone. 

She freezes at first at the flicker of movement visible through the dense foliage, the sound of what she thinks must be an animal? Crunching through the underbrush nearby. Stays still and quiet, until an altogether unintimidating figure lurches out of the trees in front of her, blundering blindly through the woods.

Another person wandering in the dark. A girl, stumbling around snapping branches loudly underfoot. 

A girl who looks remarkably like…

…Herself?

Which means-

“Jackie?!”

“Oh thank god - Tai!”

The second they set eyes on one another, Jackie launches herself into Tai’s arms with such enthusiasm that Tai barely manages to stay upright.

“I’m SO glad I found you-”

And Tai is too, of course, but also-

“When did you get here?! What are you doing here?? What the hell happened???”

“I don’t know, it all happened so fast… I didn’t mean to, Tai.”

Jackie blinks at her with big, dark, doe eyes. 

“Van just-”

Tai winces.

“Ah, shit.”

It was, in hindsight, probably wishful thinking to rely on Van’s self-control to keep her away from Jackie until Tai could get to them. But in her defense, it is weird…

“Van usually doesn’t-” 

“Don’t worry!” 

Jackie interjects, in a squeakier voice than Tai knew her own vocal chords could produce. 

“It’s fine, I won’t tell anyone, obviously. And Van is so sweet. I can see why you’re with her-”

“Wait-”

Tai blurts out, not thinking. 

Because does the technicality of it all really matter? Does Jackie need to know the specifics of her relationship with Van, or lack thereof?? No, no she certainly does not, but it’s too late not to elaborate.

Urgh.

“I’m not - I mean, well, sort of. But it’s not, like, official. We haven’t really said-”

“Oh.”

Jackie makes a strange face.

“Ah. Um. Really??”

And that… Tai doesn’t like the sound of that. She doesn’t like the sound of that at all. 

“Yes really. Why…?”

Jackie swallows, thickly, and oh Tai doesn’t like that one bit.

“Why, Jackie???”

She prompts, more urgently than she’d like but oh well.

“Well, I just… I think it might be, now?”

Jackie offers up a kind of grimace of a smile and a thumbs up. 

“…Yay…?”

And Tai knows, she knows she didn’t mishear. But she still hears her pained yelp, her disbelieving, shrill:

“Excuse me???”

Echoing distantly in her ears.

(It’s much harder with Jackie’s voice, she’s found, not to shriek. It’s practically a disability.)

“Well, how was I supposed to know?!? I was helping.”

Jackie whines, petulant in the face of Tai’s fury.

(It’s an impressive combination of pathetic and apologetic and defensive that surely could not possibly work on anyone, except of course Shauna. And that really explains so much, doesn’t it?)

“Besides, are you not happy??”

Jackie has the absolute gall to ask her - not that it’s really a question. Because Jackie’s got her hip popped and her arms crossed and this infuriating look on her face like she already knows the answer. 

…And the worst part is that she’s right. Despite herself, Tai is happy, undeniably, underneath the shock of it all. Happy and also relieved, in a weird, unexpected way. As much as she’d like to throttle Jackie. 

Because she wants to be with Van, of course she does. And maybe if Jackie Taylor of all people just assumed that she could be (that she already was, actually), that it would be fine… well, maybe it really would be??

And maybe Jackie could be fine, too. Maybe Jackie could be happy. Maybe Tai could help her be happy. 

After everything - all of this bullshit they’ve both been through, today and all the other days too - she owes it to Jackie to try, at least.

Tai grinds her fingers into the bridge of her nose, preemptively massaging the spot where her eye muscle likes to twitch when she’s stressed. (Jackie’s, blessedly, has no such tendency.)

Here goes nothing.

“That’s… great, Jackie. Really great. Thank you. And you know what… since we’re both confessing things, with total amnesty, of course… I did kind of… break up with Jeff…?”

Tai cracks one eye open, to the sight of the color draining rapidly from Jackie’s face. She notes with detached fascination that it leaves her skin with a kind of unpleasant ashy tint she’s not sure she’s ever seen on herself before, except for maybe that one time she had food poisoning-

“You… broke up… with Jeff?”

Jackie repeats, flat and robotic in a way that’s unsettling, to say the least. 

“Ah… well, actually it’s more like he sort of broke up with you. Sorry-”

“You broke up with Jeff?!”

There’s the signature Jackie Taylor shriek again - it sounds unnatural coming out of Tai’s mouth, so distinctly Jackie as it is. And it’s a little hypocritical, Tai thinks, considering the whole Van situation. But whatever. They have bigger fish to fry- 

“Okay, look. I really am sorry, it was an accident - but Jackie - you don’t even like Jeff. I know this is probably going to be really hard to hear, and scary. But you have to trust me.” 

Tai grabs Jackie’s hands, as much as Jackie would probably prefer she didn’t right now. Jackie’s already looking at her like Tai killed her grandma or something - pale and dead-eyed, like she’s in shock - and Tai is so not looking forward to being the one to tell her this, but someone really has to-

She sucks in a breath, then spits it out.

“…You like Shauna.”

Jackie blinks. Stares. 

Tai holds her breath, biting her tongue. Waits for the inevitable explosion. Will it be pure disbelief, or anger? Denial, or dismissal, or shock? All of the above, most likely.

There’s a loooong pause before Jackie swallows. Before finally, she squeaks, indignant;

“…Well yes - obviously I know that now - but it’s still a bit rude, don’t you think??”

“It’s… wait what?!?”

Jackie frowns, head tilted to the side like Tai is the one who isn’t making any fucking sense at all-

“Well, I figured that out on my own, thank you very much. But it’s a bit rude, isn’t it? Breaking up with someone else’s boyfriend.”

“You… obviously??!!? Oh my god!”

(Un)fortunately, the sound of leaves crackling somewhere nearby - of Van’s voice drifting through the darkness - derails Jackie’s impending murder, or Tai’s head blowing clean off her shoulders.

“Tai? Tai, are you there?”

“Shit.”

Tai swears under her breath. 

“Okay, fuck - we don’t have time for this.”

She ducks, pulling Jackie down with her and scrabbling as far as she can underneath a very large, very dark, very spidery, prickly bush, whispering urgently-

“We can’t hide out here forever and I can’t live like this!! We have to fix this, tonight, before Shauna wants to make out again - or worse.”

Tai shudders at the thought (or is that a bug crawling down her neck??)

Jackie wrinkles her nose, rolling onto the balls of her feet and brushing the dirt carefully off her knees.

“Well duh, but how are we going to do that?! If we knew how to fix it, we obviously would’ve fixed it already!!”

Her eyes narrow.

“Wait a second - what do you mean again?!?”

“Not the point!!! Let’s just focus-”

Tai hastily redirects, because shit - that was fucking stupid to bring up.

Unless…?

Unless it is, very much, the point.

“Oh my god, Jackie. What if… what if we have to… you know??”

She can’t even articulate it, it’s so blatantly insane. She must be losing her mind to even be thinking about this as a possibility - or maybe she’s really, truly melding minds with Jackie, because god knows Jackie’s never been able to finish her sentences before, but she somehow gets this one right away.

“Ohhhhh… Oh!”

Jackie claps a hand over her mouth, eyes wide as dinner plates.

“Yes - it’s like that story - it’s like we’re the frogs!!”

…Which is not how Tai would have put it, but well, it’s technically not wrong. And maybe if Jackie was thinking it too, maybe that means they’re actually onto something???

“Um? Yeah… sure. Exactly. Like we’re frogs.”

Whatever.

“Okay, right.”

Jackie looks around nervously, then locks in on Tai with a curt nod.

“Hurry up then - let’s just get it over with.”

“Wait, seriously??”

Tai falters, faced with the reality of it. Maybe they’re onto something, sure. Or maybe they’re both just losing it, which is way more likely, actually.

“Yes, seriously - this was your idea!!”

Jackie huffs, rolling her eyes in irritation. And then, before Tai can orchestrate an escape, Jackie’s hand shoots out. She grabs the front of Tai’s shirt and twists, yanking her in. Unbalancing her enough that she basically falls right into the kiss Jackie is waiting to plant on her.

They both freeze. Maybe from shock, maybe from instinct. Waiting for something. Tai isn’t sure what exactly but she knows she’ll know it. Because maybe it takes a second?? She doesn’t feel any different, except for weird, because she’s kissing Jackie fucking Taylor and also somehow herself at the same time. But maybe if she…?

Tai moves to tentatively, so tentatively, slip her tongue into Jackie’s mouth. Because maybe their spit needs to be involved, or something?? Maybe they need to like, mean it??? (Gross. So gross.)

…Nothing happens. Nothing except for the ominous crack of a branch far, far too close to them. Followed immediately by Shauna’s voice-

“Jackie???”

Tai and Jackie break apart like they’ve been electrocuted, the urgency of their decoupling sending them both tumbling backwards, bursting violently out of the bushes. Tai lands hard on her back in the dirt, head hitting the ground forcefully enough that the faces of Van and Shauna spin where they loom over her, looking down in bewilderment.

“Hi! We were just…”

She gasps, air not yet returned to her lungs.

“Fighting!”

Jackie jumps in, thank god, her blurry face joining Shauna and Van’s against the background of the inky, star-smeared sky. (Should they be smeary like that? Tai isn’t sure. She isn’t even sure if they’re real stars. Maybe she’s just seeing stars-)

“Yep. Fighting. Really going at it.”

She wheezes, squinting up with difficulty.

“…Oooookay?”

Van peers down at her, nose wrinkled. Shauna, though - Shauna is silent. Silently looking elsewhere, with murderous eyes. Uh oh.

“Jesus Tai, what did you do to her??”

Shauna growls at Jackie, takes a threatening step forward. Shit.

“No!!! No, it’s fine! I’m fine! We’re good now.”

Tai scrambles unsteadily to her feet, clutching at Shauna’s arm for stability and doing her best to give her the signature Jackie Taylor baby deer eyes. (Shouldn’t be that hard, when she can’t seem to focus them.) And if her dead weight has the added effect of preventing Shauna from lunging at Jackie, well that’s just a bonus. 

“And I’m feeling much better!!”

Jackie reassures a bristling Van, managing her effortlessly with a practiced hand on the back of her neck. 

Seriously, how did Tai not see it before??? Jackie is so fucking gay it’s sickening.

“Who wants a shot? I need a shot.”

She slurs, pushing past Shauna and teetering in the direction of the source of the very faint - yet still unmistakable - sound of the Beastie Boys reverberating through the woods. 

10:24pm

Jackie and Tai manage to stay attached at the hip through several rounds of shots, a rousing keg stand competition, and Mari calling Laura Lee a “Jesus freak” practically unprovoked (which, while true, is really not necessary or kind to point out). If Jackie were herself she’d try to do something about that, but now is just really not a good time. Laura Lee has pretty thick skin anyway, she’ll probably be fine.

And if Shauna (or Van) thinks her newfound closeness with Tai is weird, well, they don’t get the chance to say so. Jackie is sure she’ll hear plenty about it later, provided she gets her body back. Maybe she will anyway, even if not. Who knows how big of a shit-talker Van is in private.

But ah, Van, in private… yeah, can’t do that. Nope. They need to figure this shit out yesterday. 

(Not that it wouldn’t be interesting… Jackie’s curious, undeniably. It would certainly be helpful. And it’s not like Van isn’t pretty, in her own way…

But no. No, she shouldn’t even be thinking about that. Not even like, vaguely. Tai and Shauna would both kill her if they knew. It’s not even like she’s thinking thinking about it. It’s just interesting, that’s all!! And potentially informative-)

“Jackie.”

Tai hisses under her breath, accompanied by a sharp jab between Jackie’s ribs. And for a second Jackie thinks Tai must have acquired mind reading capabilities somehow, which means Jackie is so fucking dead, but then Tai gestures towards the road and Jackie spots it immediately.

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing right now???”

“No way.”

Jackie can’t help but do a double take, even though the person standing there is definitely, one-hundred-percent who she thinks it is. One-hundred-percent real and right here in the flesh, at a party of all places, as implausible as it seems.  

“Is that…”

“Misty Quigley?!”

Jackie’s so absorbed in staring at Misty - who’s gazing back in their general direction in an unusually vacant, unsettling way, even for Misty - that she doesn’t notice the figure wandering lazily up behind her at all, not until- 

“Ohhhh shit, no way - you guys see her too??”

“Jesus Christ!”

Jackie jumps, flailing, nearly falling flat on her face.

Nat’s unannounced appearance at her side - and voice in her ear, far too close for comfort (and for normal social conventions, for that matter) - is startling, to put it mildly. When did she get there?! 

Tai gives Nat an obvious once over, nose wrinkled. 

“The fuck? Are you on drugs right now???”

And it’s not exactly what Jackie would have said - or at least, how she would have said it - but to be fair, it seems like a pretty solid assessment. Nat is swaying lightly with the breeze, eyes hazy and unfocused. She’s slurring her words and absolutely reeks of booze too, but Jackie has a feeling that’s a secondary concern. 

Nat ignores Tai’s accusation completely, in favor of zeroing in on the empty space right above her head. Concentrating deeply on something that Jackie either cannot see or is simply not there. Neither option great.

“Whoa, Jackie… why are you wearing a pilgrim hat?”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me - nationals are tomorrow!”

Tai snaps, looks at Jackie for support; and yeah, she’s not wrong. They do kind of have bigger problems right now, but she’s not wrong. 

“Natalie, you need to drink some water, okay?”

Jackie steps in, makes an attempt to mediate. But, as always, there’s a complication-

“I can help with that!”

Another too-close voice, this one far squeakier and peppier than Nat’s, sends Jackie flinching and spinning on her heel-

“Fuck!” 

What is it with people and personal space tonight?!

“Misty.”

Tai scowls.

“Hello, Jackie! Taissa! Natalie!”

Misty greets them each in turn with a wide smile and a wave. And it isn’t until Tai goes on the offensive, getting up in Misty’s face-

“I knew it. You know something!!! What did you do, Misty?!?”

That Jackie clocks what Tai obviously already did. 

…Misty addressed each of them correctly.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Misty smiles insincerely, tight-lipped and wide-eyed. 

And if Tai’s accusation seemed a little far-fetched a second ago - because really? Misty?? -  it suddenly seems less so. Besides, after the day they’ve had, what does far-fetched even mean anymore?

“Do not play with me Misty, I am not fucking around.”

Tai threatens, puffing herself up in a way that Jackie knows firsthand is significantly more intimidating coming from Tai, but looks - unfortunately - a little ridiculous on her. 

…But oh - right. Duh. She’s Tai. Okay-

“Yeah!!! She’s not.”

Jackie steps up to join Tai in Misty’s space, smacking her fist loudly into her palm. Yeah. That’ll show her.

“Okay, okay! Gosh.”

Misty giggles nervously; holds up her hands and takes a half-step back, looking back and forth between them. 

“You two just seemed like you could use a little… help… walking in each other’s shoes. That’s all!”

“So it was you!”

Tai exclaims, at the same moment Jackie can’t help but protest;

“You call this helping?!”

“Well, you seem to be on the same side now-”

“Misty, I swear to god, fix it right fucking now or they will never find your body.”

Tai growls, menacing Misty to the best of her ability with Jackie’s five-foot-four, one-hundred-twenty pound frame. 

Jackie absentmindedly flexes Tai’s far more impressive bicep, poking at the hard line of muscle with her pointer finger. Maybe she should start lifting? Does Tai lift??

“Well, I can’t do that.”

Misty rolls her eyes, like they’re making some kind of unreasonable demand of her, and not simply asking her to undo her freaky magic trick or whatever the hell it is she did. This has to be a hate crime.

“What do you mean you can’t?!”

Tai squeaks, all semblance of intimidating posture evaporating in the face of Misty’s pronouncement.

“Oh relax. I can’t, but you can. If you really are seeing eye to eye now, then you have absolutely nothing to worry about. You’ll see.”

Misty pushes her thick glasses up the bridge of her nose, tapping them knowingly.

“Oh my god we’re going to be stuck like this forever!”

Tai flops to the ground next to Nat, burying her face in her hands.

“Stuck like… huh?”

Nat peers up from where she’s parked herself in the dirt, squinting at Jackie and Misty in turn.

“I can’t. I cannot deal with this.”

Tai mumbles into her knees, gesturing exasperatedly at Nat.

“Don’t you worry - I’ll get her fixed right up! Come on, Natalie.”

Misty takes the offered opportunity to make her escape, hauling a dazed Nat to her feet and dragging her hastily away in the direction of the road.

“Good luck, you two!”

10:41pm

“Whelp. We are so fucked.”

Tai grunts, as Jackie drops to the ground beside her.

“Shit, we might just have to get used to this.”

(And she’s not saying that seriously, of course. Just blowing off some steam. A little joke between friends trapped in each other’s bodies, ha ha.)

Could anyone blame a girl in her situation for being frustrated? For indulging in a little catastrophizing, as a treat?? 

But Jackie just shrugs, oddly nonchalant.

“Wouldn’t be the worst thing.”

“What?!”

Tai’s head whips around so fast she feels something in her neck catch - an immediate, sharp pain radiating upwards that signals sprain. 

Ow. Fuck. But more importantly, what the fuck?!?

Jackie leans back on her hands, lounging, a mischievous smile playing at her lips.

“Wellllll, I don’t know… going pro would be pretty cool.”

Tai stares, speechless, into Jackie’s glittering brown eyes, massaging her own twinging neck absently.

Because how could Jackie possibly know??? Is this just the kind of thing Jackie says to people? Does she make a habit of telling Shauna she could be a professional soccer player?? Would Shauna even want to???

“I can’t… I’m not… I’m supposed to be a lawyer.”

Tai splutters, finally, utterly perplexed. 

“You can do that too. Easy! For you, I mean.”

Jackie grins, leaning in to bump Tai’s shoulder with her own.

“After we win Nationals, of course. I bet it’s a breeze with you at captain.”

“…You really think…?”

Tai trails off, unable to bring herself to voice the thought aloud in its entirety. 

Because what, is she supposed to just lay bare her naked ambition - which she hardly even dares admit to herself - before Jackie Taylor?? 

Their team is really, truly good. Maybe even the best in the country. And Tai is the best of them. It’s vain, she knows that well enough, but it’s also true. Maybe even true enough to justify reaching for a dream that is entirely foolish and impractical. 

…But no one else seems to see it. And maybe if no one else sees it, it isn’t real. No one but Van ever says it, that’s for sure.

Jackie doesn’t even bat an eye.

“Absolutely. And I know Coach thinks so, too. Honestly, I don’t even know why he made me captain.”

She looks away, kicking absently at a rock with the toe of Tai’s pristine Converse.  

“I really wish I did.”

“I do.”

Tai doesn’t miss a beat. She speaks before her brain can catch up, with force that surprises even her. 

…But she’s relieved to find that when she interrogates the thing - turns the thought over in her mind, traces it back to its roots - it’s true. She does know, now. Maybe she always did and she just didn’t want to see it. Or maybe she really was blind to it before. But not now. She sees Jackie now. 

“Everyone does. Isn’t it obvious? You’re good at soccer, but you’re a million times better at this shit-”

Tai waves at the clearing around them - at Mari and Laura Lee clearly still squabbling by the keg, Misty supporting a fading Natalie, coaxing a cup of water to her lips, Lottie deep in conversation with what appears to be… a tree? And Shauna and Van tucked away in the shadows, perched on a log with their heads together (which is a little concerning, actually, but that’s a problem for later-)

“…At people, than me. Everyone is a giant pain in the ass. I don’t know how you put up with it.”

And it’s true. She’s not just saying it to make Jackie feel better (even though she does genuinely want to make Jackie feel better, which would’ve been almost as shocking a realization to have had this time yesterday as the realization that she legitimately believes Jackie deserves to be captain, for any reason). What a fucking trip. 

“Yeah.”

Jackie snorts, shaking her head with a kind of bemused, ill-disguised fondness.

“Yeah, they really are. And hey-”

She pokes at Tai, twirling a finger between her eyes.

“They’re your problem now. I think I got the way better end of the deal. I mean, you know what today means, right?”

Tai senses it’s a trap somehow - probably the eager, anticipatory energy Jackie buzzes with; her obvious excitement about the reveal that’s clearly coming. But why deny her? 

“Jackie, I have no fucking clue what today means. Please, enlighten me.”

Jackie tosses her hair, ominous delight radiating from her.

“You mean you didn’t notice that I officially got a girlfriend before you?? I mean, it is technically your girlfriend, but it still counts-”

The sound that escapes Tai’s throat isn’t one she can really describe, but it’s sufficiently alarming to derail Jackie for long enough for her brain to come up with actual words to choke out;

“Oh my god it does not!?”

She can’t stop herself from rising to the bait, obvious bait as it is. She could tell herself she’s just playing along, but it’s unmistakably genuine indignation that colors her voice-

“You literally stole my identity! And I did all the legwork!! We were like, ninety-five percent of the way there!!!”

“Mmmmmm, whatever you say.” 

Jackie says in that irritating, smug tone. Reveling in the victory of her successful provocation. Fucking unbelievable.

“Okay, well if you want to play it that way, I also got a girlfriend today. So what now, huh?”

Mic drop, Tai thinks to herself, which is unspeakably lame of her but whatever. Jackie’s influence, surely.

And let’s see what Jackie Taylor has to say about that. It’s about as equally true. If Jackie can count Van as her win, Tai can count Shauna as hers. Simple as.

“Wait, what??”

It works. It’s Jackie’s turn to look baffled, knocked off balance by a rebuttal she clearly did not remotely expect. 

(Which, at this point, is just getting a little ridiculous honestly.)

“Oh come on, Jackie. Be serious! It’s all but official. She’s so in love with you it makes her look stupid.”

Tai barely resists reaching out and shaking Jackie, or smacking her, or worse.

But Jackie is serious, clearly. The look she’s giving Tai is deadly serious, in fact.

“You really think so?”

“Yes.”

Jackie gnaws at her bottom lip. She turns away, eyes unfocused, to gaze out across the clearing in the general direction of where Van and Shauna are still huddled together. 

It’s a long moment before she speaks again.

“…Will you tell her?” 

She asks.

“If we don’t. Switch back.”

She turns those inky eyes back on their true owner, fixing her attention on Tai.

“Will you tell her I am too?”

Tai swallows, throat suddenly thick.

“Yeah. Yeah, of course.”

She clears it, not that it helps.

It’s inconceivable, that they wouldn’t. They have to. But if, somehow, they don’t…

“…And you’ll tell Van?”

The words resist formation, scratching at her vocal chords on their way up and out.

Jackie’s eyes burn.

“Of course.”

Saturday May 25, 1996. 1:12am.

Tai wakes in the night, too terrified to take stock of her surroundings amidst the earthquake shaking her house. She flips onto her stomach and buries her head under her pillow, breathing shallowly into the stifling darkness and waiting for the shaking to stop. 

It’s over in seconds, as quickly as it began.

She stays like that for a long time after, hidden under her pillow and ensconced in her blankets. Gathering her courage and listening to the beating of her frantic heart, made audible by the sudden and complete silence. Until at some point lost to her, she drifts back to sleep, her dreams populated with soccer balls and parties in the woods and Jackie and Misty and Shauna and Van, Van, Van. 

7:00am

It takes Jackie a moment, when she wakes, to register where she is. Where she is and who she is. 

She’s surrounded by pink everything, the shade she picked out herself as an eleven-year-old that she now deeply regrets. Pink and floral and white wicker as far as the eye can see. 

The only part of the room that shows any evidence of her advancing age are the framed pictures of her and Shauna that decorate the top of her white dresser, stretching back from when they first met in kindergarten to the most recent addition, taken at this past summer’s annual Labor Day party.

It’s her room, alright. Unmistakably.

She throws back her covers with pale arms, runs manicured fingers through her fine, straight hair. Slides out of bed and pads through thick carpet to her full-length mirror, where she takes a deep breath before the moment of truth.

When she steps in front, her own face looks back at her.

It’s a little alien after a day spent apart from her corporeal form, seeing herself through the eyes of another. Having no control over the actions of her rogue body. Now, hazel eyes blink when she blinks. She clears her throat, and her own voice comes out.

Thank god. Thank god!!!!

She spins, striding back to her nightstand. Picks up the phone.

7:48am

“Jesus, Jackie, we’re gonna be late to the plane-”

Shauna looks nervously down at her watch as Jackie yanks open the Ford’s door, flings herself inside, and-

“MMmmmph!”

…Plants her lips square on Shauna’s, grabbing her face and kissing her hard, like she means it. Not furtive and guilty and couched in excuses, handwaved away by “practice” or too many vodka cranberries. Sober, in the light of the day, and frighteningly, undeniably real. No takebacks possible. 

“Okay! We can go now.”

She flops back in her seat, closing her eyes and pressing two fingers to her lips. 

Wowza. They could have been doing this for years! Why didn’t she think of it sooner??

“Ah… Jackie???”

Shauna squeaks as Jackie reaches out to squeeze her knee. 

“Should we maybe, like… talk??”

Jackie looks over, takes in Shauna’s pale, nervous face. She squeezes again, and Shauna jumps. 

“If you don’t want to, it’s okay! I mean, It’s just that last night you said we would, but then you were off with Tai for like, hours, and I thought you were mad at her?? And then you-”

“I do. I do want to. Sorry, yesterday was just… really weird.”

Jackie frowns. Understatement of the century. 

“But also I’m not sorry. I meant all of it.”

Risky, given she may not know exactly what all of it entails, but she trusts Tai. Whatever it was, it led them here. And here is definitely, one-hundred-percent where she wants to be. 

“…And I’m not fighting with Tai anymore. We’re kind of like, second best friends now or something. If you and I are still best friends. I mean, of course we are. But I don’t know, maybe we’re something else??”

Jackie pauses for breath. 

Shauna blinks, wide-eyed and silent. 

“We’ll talk! I promise. We have a whole room to ourselves in Seattle! But-”

Jackie glances at the clock on the dashboard.

“We really are going to be late to the plane.” 

“Oh shit.”

Shauna looks at the clock and yelps, throwing the car into gear and tearing out of the driveway.

8:13am

Jackie and Shauna screech to a haphazard halt halfway in a parking space, tumble out of Shauna’s Ford Focus, and sprint across the pavement, Jackie lugging a clunky, oversized rolling bag and Shauna a fully-stuffed duffel. 

Tai glances down at her watch and frowns. 

Some things never change.

Jackie drops the handle of her bag, letting it clatter loudly to the ground as she reaches Tai. She barrels full speed into her, knocking Tai back on her heels and throwing her arms around her waist, squeezing like a python. 

“Holy shit it’s so good to see you not in a mirror.”

“Likewise.”

Tai wheezes, breath stolen by Jackie’s crushing hug. 

“Girls.”

Coach Martinez whistles sharply.

“Enough chit-chat. I better see everyone on board in one minute.” 

8:15am

Tai settles into her seat beside Van, right behind Jackie and Shauna. She brought a book, but they’re putting on a pretty good show - Jackie’s got herself half in Shauna’s lap, fiddling with something around Shauna’s neck. Tai hopes she’s covering up a hickey. At least they may as well be late for a good reason.

“Hey.”

Van nudges her. 

“Are you seeing this?”

“Yeppppp.”

Tai turns to Van, suppressing a giggle. 

But Van isn’t laughing. 

Van is uncharacteristically quiet. Her eyes are soft and serious, brimming with some emotion Tai’s only ever caught glimpses of before, hovering just under the surface. She reaches for Tai’s hand and intertwines their fingers.

“…I’m glad we talked.”

The pad of her thumb strokes Tai’s palm, right above that blue and yellow friendship bracelet. 

“Me too.”

Tai affirms, squeezing Van’s hand in hers. 

Thank you, Jackie Taylor. 

She may not know exactly what Jackie said, but she knows she has her to thank for this version of Van. 

…Or, well. Maybe it isn’t really about Van, so much. Van has always been direct. Tai’s always liked that about her. Liked it and also feared it a little; evaded it as much as she was drawn to it. 

 She has Jackie to thank for being ready to receive it. For this version of her.

“I’m sorry we didn’t sooner.”

Tai glances around to make sure no one’s really looking, then leans in to press a quick kiss to the corner of Van’s mouth. (But not too quick to feel Van’s sharp, surprised intake of breath.)

“We can talk more, in Seattle, if you want?”

She offers, drawing back but leaving a warm hand behind on Van’s thigh. 

Van’s pale eyebrows shoot up to her hairline, nearly disappearing altogether. She licks her lips, then breaks into a wolfish grin.

“Actually, I know what I want to do in Seattle.”

She leans in close again, her voice dropping to a rough whisper. 

“…And it’s not talk.”

Oh. 

That’s… yeah.

Tai nods. Clears her dry throat. 

In hindsight, maybe she should’ve set Jackie on Van sooner.

From the row ahead, Jackie twists around to peek in between the seats, as if summoned by the errant thought. She waits to catch Tai’s eye to wink, giving her an exaggerated thumbs up and a million-watt smile.

Beetlejuice, Tai’s brain supplies. But like, if Beetlejuice was actually a good guy once you got to know him, under his remarkably unsubtle and abrasive exterior. 

Van leans over, frowning. She’s not blind, after all.

“What is up with her lately??” 

Tai rubs her eyes, shaking her head at Jackie. 

“…Don’t worry about it.”

It’s futile, since Jackie’s already gone back to mooning over Shauna. Or maybe not mooning exactly - more like thirsting. She’s looking at her with scary eyes, like maybe Van gave her some ideas. Lord almighty.

“We’ve reached an… understanding. She’s… not what she seems.”

Van looks a second longer at Jackie, then shrugs. She flops back in her seat, pulling Tai’s hand into her lap and squeezing.

“Cool.”