Chapter Text
“Yellow, what are you doing!” The familiar voice echoed over the ringing in his ears, and panic set in. Blue was on him in seconds, ripping the gun away from him before he could fire it, closing around him in a protective hold.
No. No. He had to shoot. He had to die. That was the plan and he wasn’t backing out, no, not this time. Yellows panic kicked in instantly, almost like a survival instinct, except he wasn’t really trying to survive.
“Give‘er back! Give‘er back, I need’er!” He sobbed, trying to scramble back to the gun, but the arms wrapped around him held him in place. All he could do was sob. Gross, ugly sobs. Yellow tried clawing at the arms firmly around him, nails digging into flesh, trying to ward him off, but he didn’t move.
Blue held Yellow still, pulling him close and keeping him still, he didn’t acknowledge the nails on his back or Yellow’s attempt to kick him away. Yellow let out frustrated yelps and whines, unable to put up a fight against Blue.
“Why won’t yew let me do this! I hav’ta do this!” Yellow cried out, eyes falling on the gun just a few lengths away. He couldn’t understand why Blue wouldn’t just let him do this. It was for the better. It was what everyone would’ve wanted.
“I’m not going to let you kill yourself!” Blue wasn’t one to raise his voice. It rarely happened, rarely let his voice get above an average volume, so to hear him practically screaming was alien on his throat and Yellow’s ears.
Struggling in his arms, the taller man tried to rip himself away from the grasp, attempts failing as soon as they started. Realizing this wasn’t working, Yellow tried to hide instead of fight, shrinking his body as much as he could and letting his arms go limp. This was pathetic. Of course he was hiding again.
It’s all he was good at.
“Shhh, shh my love. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I need you here. I need you.” Blue was so perfect, so gentle, so strong, so caring. Yellow began crying harder, choking on his own tears. Blue was the last person he wanted to see. His perfect ballerino must be so disgusted by Yellow, ugly crying, unkempt, imperfect.
“I love you. I’m not leaving.”
The words entered Yellow’s mind and danced around, twirling around like Blue would on stage—graceful, elegant. He let out a defeated whimper, his last efforts to hide and run away fleeing his body as exhaustion began hitting him.
“‘M sorry. I’m sorry, Blue. I’m r—real sorry. Yh—y—yew don’t, don’t deserve this,” Yellow whispered, sniffling between words.
“Shhh, shhh.. Don’t be sorry. Don’t apologize.” Blue whispered back, hands running through Yellow’s hair gently.
“Y—Yew shouldn’ love a crim-in-el like myself...” Yellow could hardly get the words out through tears. He felt Blue shake his head. Blue’s heart ached. His love, his daffodil, so torn down by his own plaguing thoughts of death.
“You have no idea how much I love you, daffodil. If you’re a criminal, then I’m your partner in crime.” Blue soothed Yellow the best could, caressing his hair gently.
They sat like this for a while, entangled in an emotional mess of limbs. Yellow wrapped his arms around Blue, tucking his head down and crying into the other man’s chest. His body trembled and ached as it began adjusting to the newfound comfort offered by Blue. Gentle hands rubbed up and down his back, moving in relaxing circles.
The cries began fading out, from choked sobs to little coughs and sniffles. Yellow’s head was screaming at him. All the tears and yelling were finally hitting, and it felt far from good. He let out a noise of pain, sinking further into Blue’s touch.
The ballerino held him tightly, like if he let go, the cowboy would fade away, or break, and they’d never be together again. Yellow laid his head against Blue’s heart, listening the badump badump badump that echoed throughout his lover’s perfect body.
Blue never forced anything out of Yellow, never rushed anything, never impatiently waited. He sat still as he waited for his love to gain the courage to speak. Yellow loved that about him. How much patience and understanding he had.
“‘M sorry,” Yellow spoke, hardly audible as his voice quivered.
“Don’t be. I’m not mad at you, my love.” Blue kissed Yellow gently, resting his face in the others hair for a moment. “I’m just glad I was here.”
Yellow held Blue tighter, as tight as he could, with arms trembling. His whole body felt weak, limbs quivered, heart beating out of his chest, ears ringing.
He couldn’t understand why Blue would come to him. Blue didn’t deserve such a piece of work like Yellow. Yellow just wanted to make Blue’s life easier.
“Howd’ya know?” Yellow pushed the words past his lips, biting back choking fear he couldn’t quite explain.
Blue cocked his head to the side, a questioning look on his face. “How’d I know what?” He asked tenderly.
“That I wus ‘ere,” Yellow clarified shyly, hiding his face again.
Blue let out a sigh and looked up for a moment, to think, to remember what led up to this moment.
It was around 15 minutes ago now, maybe more, maybe less, Blue couldn’t put his finger on it fully. He was practicing his routine on his personal stage before Flowery practically ran in. The sinking feeling in Blue’s stomach followed closely, and he still felt it, that pit, that he was this close to losing Yellow.
“Flowery, the doll he is, told me. He told me you were not well, that you were erratic and yelled at him to leave you alone. He told me he didn’t know who to turn to, but that he was afraid you might hurt yourself.” Blue swallowed hard, trying to ignore the images that flashed in his mind. Yellow stared back, guilt flashing across his face.
“I din’ mean ta scare yous. I’m mighty sorry, Blue,” he apologized quietly, struggling to raise his voice any higher.
“I forgive you forever, darling,” Blue looked into Yellow’s puffy, tired eyes. “But promise me one thing.”
Yellow nodded.
“Tell me when you feel like this. I love you too much to lose you. All of your friends love you too much to lose you.” Blue ran a hand through Yellow’s tangled hair. The taller man let out a shaky breath. Blue didn’t push his response, he never did.
“I promise, bluebell. I’s won't leave yew in th’ dark no more.”