Chapter Text
YOU wake up in the dark world, Susie is across from you. Oh guess we're starting chapter 3 now. Kris and Susie fall off the couch, starting YOUR adventure as the cutscene ends. YOU walk to the right, waiting for Ralsei to show up. This is routine for YOU, going through the chapters over and over again. YOU've heard that doing things over and over and expecting a different result makes YOU insane, but this is just a video game after all. But maybe this time it will be different.
Ralsei is standing ahead, alone. Susie runs up to him. YOU have always been suspicious of Ralsei. He was the only darkner in the closet, despite there having to be hundreds of objects worthy of darkener status in a supply closet, it was made to be stocked with stuff. And the closet is in a K-12 school that needs stuff for all the students. Even if this is a small town, and the school is ridiculously small, there should be more stuff in the closet. So how is Ralsei the only darkner? Also how does he get into the dark worlds before YOU? Can he sense the world being made? But how does he get from one dark world to another? Are they all connected? Like unlocking a new part of a map? And what exactly is Ralsei's object? Is it Kris's headband? Did Toriel leave it in the supply closet? And why is a darkner in the prophecy?
Susie and Ralsei stare at YOU, their conversation finished. Right YOU're the leader, so they follow you. As YOU force Kris's limbs to walk the winding path of what YOU assume is the carpet, Susie decides she wants to invite Ralsei to the festival. Ralsei declines, trying to spare her feelings. He's a darkner he can't go to the light world, but Susie doesn't know that. Susie tries again, she thinks he's just nervous. Ralsei politely refuses, again. Susie apparently thinks this is now her fault, the poor girl. Ralsei starts a dramatic cutscene, featuring equally dramatic music as he explains why darkners aren't able to go to the light world, and by affiliation, the festival. He says he's not real. And he's right. Susie wont give up on him, even though she should. YOU think it's very likely that Ralsei's dark world will have to close, with him in it. YOU don't know if that's the equivalent of a darkner dying. Susie, foolishly, tries to comfort him. Unaware that she may lose him in just a few days time. All she will have left is Kris, not Ralsei, and certainly not YOU if Kris and the knight succeed.
Spotlights shine down on you, an aggravating announcers voice penetrates the darkness and YOUR ears. Goddamn it, it's Tenna. YOU enjoy Tenna's antics, but the only reason chapter 1 is YOUR least favorite and not chapter 3 is because of the guitar mini game. YOU can't wait to dump Tenna on Mettaton's doorstep after church. YOU like his intro though, especially the groovy never glooby part. YOU tune back into the conversation, just in time to hear Susie refuse to go on the gameshow. (Get it? Tune in?) The fun meter lowers astronomically, as the confetti stops flying and the music slows down. Killed in big red block letters is plastered over the show logo. Tenna's blatant manipulations get through to Susie, the intensely empathetic girl that she is.
A transition happens on the screen, a fade to black if you will. Now, YOU see Kris, Susie, and Ralsei from left to right in that order. Standing on a stage in front of the screen. YOU guess it's gameshow time. Tenna wants us to make our introductions. YOU know Susie will put ASS as her name, YOU decide to put EAT as Kris's gameshow name. It will be funny.
Tenna calls Ralsei a 3-time fluffiest pet contest winner, Susie a monster maniac, and Kris not blue enough for the "Sblurfs." The names everyone picked show up. Tenna is scandalized while Susie is laughing so hard she falls over. Looks like the censors are gonna kill Tenna.
YOU and the rest of the fun gang are transported into a dark room with a glittering screen, the shadow mantle game begins to load on the screen, but at the last second turns into "The Legend of Tenna." What a fucking ripoff of YOUR favorite franchise. Damn you, you annoying dog. YOU shake YOUR metaphorical fist at the sky. Except there is no sky, because YOU are in the dark world. That Kris made, in their house. In the middle of the night.
Loading in, Ralsei fumbles with the controls while Susie flourishes. YOU feel no pity for the toothpaste boy, even though he has never played a video game or held a controller. YOU make Kris jump down a hole, now they really are the fallen human. But YOU couldn't name them this time.
YOU make the mini Kris on screen walk down to talk to Pippins for a hint, it's mostly for Susie, because she doesn't live the days in a time loop like YOU can. And she doesn't pay attention to Tenna much. YOU talk to Elnina and Lanino about their oasis of love, even though YOU're about to wreck it with the help of lancer. YOU stumble through the fight with the saxophone shadows, wanting it to be over as soon as possible.
Because of the fun gangs excellent fighting skills, Susie gets a free yogurt. But that's not important. YOU walk into the next room, and lancer is stuck on a cactus across the river. Screaming for help for this poor innocent boy. He also makes a joke about pots of salsa which gives YOU a flashback to chapter 1. Susie can't pick things up yet, so we have to leave him to suffer. Even though he's fine. If he wasn't then he wouldn't be in the room with us. Oh yes, the real Lancer popped up on the couch and said that we should save the poor innocent boy on screen.
Nonetheless. We move onto the next room, a simple puzzle. One that even Rouxls kard could have made, that's how laughable it is. YOU solve it quickly, finding a quiz vortex in your way. Guess it's gameshow time.
On the screen pops up the question, "What time is it right now?"
YOU answer "TV Time!!!" The second question, of how much Ralsei costs. The options are, higher than 8$, lower than 8$, Priceless, and 32$. YOU know for a fact it's 32 dollars. But then the next question gets YOU. YOU've played Deltarune plenty of times. Yet YOU seem to have forgotten Kris's favorite food. Susie give you a strange look.
"I mean, I don't know for sure, but you said Kris ate a whole pie in the middle of the night 2 days ago?" Susie says. She responded to YOU, which means YOU spoke out loud. Time is running out and Kris quickly selects "Pie" confirming Susie's guess.
"Holy shit I can speak again," YOU say aloud. Susie looks suprised, as does Ralsei.
"Why wouldn't you be able to speak Kris" Ralsei asks, YOU can't tell if he's feigning confusion, or if it's genuine. Tenna looks confused too.
"WHY KRIS HOW WOULDN'T YOU KNOW YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? IT HASN'T CHANGED HAS IT? OR HAVE YOU CHANGED KRIS?" Tenna's voice booms through his speakers, the flavor text burning YOUR eyes.
You show back up in the game, getting a Q and the inability to speak for YOUR troubles. Ralsei looks conflicted, but decides against speaking his mind right now, he knows you can't talk all the time. YOU move on to the next room.
Now YOU are in a room which a trick puzzle, the trees are too close to push the block all the way. Ralsei, in some weird mildly masochistic fashion, probably the same one that makes him use himself as a stepstool for others, turns into a block for YOU to push. However once YOU do, romantic music starts playing and the words "Pushing Buddies!" pops up on screen, confusing both of you.
In the next room you find a bonus zone, with about 30 coins on the ground, each one worth one point. Susie calls Tenna a cheapskate, and he argues back that they have a strict budget. YOU think that maybe the knight should fund their budget, because they're working together. In the next room the power croissant is on the floor, YOU pick it up, holding it high above YOUR head, like in ocarina of time. Susie steals the croissant from YOU and gains the ability to pick up and throw objects.
Susie runs around the room, which is a desert, and throws pots everywhere. And in one final act of rebellion, she picks up Ralsei and throws him in the water. Ralsei calls her irresponsible.
"RALSEI PLUSH! FILL HIM WITH LIQUID, THROW HIM AGAINST THE WALL!" Tenna shouts.
"Stop advertising me I'm drowning!" Ralsei cries indignantly. Walking into the next room, there is a quiz vortex, and YOU are glad YOU will be able to talk, because Ralsei is getting on YOUR nerves with his bullshit.
The quiz is back, with the second half of the questions.
The next question shows up on the board. What's the name of the show host. YOU pick "Mr. Tenna." You should continue this conversation.
"Cut the bullshit Ralsei, you know I'm not actually Kris." YOU respond. Ralsei looks panicked now. "And Susie knows." His face seems to calm then, but switches to a look of confusion. Probably fake, Kris has probably told Ralsei just how much control YOU have over their life. The next question shows up. "What's the highly memorable heading of 'TV Time'." YOU answer that it's "Marvelous Mystery Board." Ralsei decides to speak up now. But no one heard him, so no one answered.
And so YOU get another Q. You walk into the next room, finding a sphinx with a TV for a head, there are two indents in its chest where two Qs should be. He is happy that you find him, and takes the Qs from YOU to get dressed.
"Finally, now it's time to quiz to the death!" He exclaims excitedly.
What. Oh, right the quiz to the death, how had YOU forgotten.
"Oh great I can talk again." YOU say Ralsei can't seem to hold in his comments until after the question appears on the board.
"But Kris, aren't you in control most of the time?" He tilts his fluffy, furry head at you. Did Kris really not tell him. Oh bless your heart sweetie. Well he's either forgetful, dumb, or lying. YOU're not sure which one you prefer. The next question shows up. Asking the name of this kid, showing a picture of Lancer. YOU answer promptly, wasting no time.
"Don't lie to me Ralsei, I know you speak with Kris behind my back" YOU grit through Kris's teeth. Ralsei looks taken aback. Hurt even. YOU feel no sympathy, nor compassion for him. Just a mild amount of pity. The next question pops up, asking about YOUR machine, the one YOU and Susie used in the fight against Queen. YOU quickly click on the correct answer. Ralsei stays silent this time. The next question appears on the board, another name question.
YOU answer that his name is Pippins. Then you think of something rash. Maybe you should ask Susie to the festival. Shoot YOUR shot. For Kris. Noelle is too much of a coward to ask her out, even though that's partly because of her mom, YOU don't care though. The last question pops up on the board, Asriel's favorite character. YOU always get a different answer wherever YOU look. Toriel says it's the green lizard, his how to draw dragons book implies someone else. But it's the fucking sword magician. YOu realize YOU're wasting precious time. YOU quickly answer.
"Susie would yo-" YOU get interupted. No! YOU were so close! Back in the desert video game, the sphinx's nose falls off, like in real life, but it cuts through the pals trees, carving a path to the first key.
YOU GOT THE KEY(1x)
Susie uses her newfound power to smash the pots to the next room, back where Lancer was. Susie looks around the room for something to throw, and picks up Ralsei. Susie launches Ralsei at the cactus, as she had done so many times before. YOU hope the cactus needles hurt Ralsei's character, but not him in real life. That would be too far. Lancer falls of the cactus to safety. And as a thanks for saving him, he offers himself. In YOUR inventory.
YOU GOT LANCER
YOU quickly move to the next room, where there is a spade indent on the ground, shaped like Lancers head. The indentation has an L in it. Lancer jumps out of YOUR inventory to start digging up a treasure for you, the sand he digs up falls in the reservoir of the oasis. He digs up the second key for YOU and then disappears, flying out of frame.
YOU GOT THE KEY(1x)
YOU walk into the main room, bracing YOURSELF for a fight, Lanino and Elnina are infuriated that you ended their season of love along with the oasis. This fight has a special condition, saying "I Love TV" 99 times will win you the battle. YOU decide who to pick to cause problems for. YOU choose Lanino because his name shows up first. The fun gang all proclaim their love for TV. Tenna calls Lanino and Elnina a professional power couple. Oh how wrong he is.
Lanino forgets to pose, the praise of being chosen for the act gets to his head, Elnina tries to let him down softly, but it does nothing to deter him. Lanino asks which attack we liked better, feeling bad YOU picked rain, for Elnina. But instead it makes her intense just like him. Guess the praise goes to her head too. The temperatures on the screen lower to the 40s instead of a normal temperature range. Elnina amps up her attack, ruining Laninos. The temp drops to the 10s.
Tenna makes an underhanded comment about Kris's parents divorce without realizing it. Lanino and Elnina get more upset, Lanino saying we said that we liked her attack once, Elnina sniping back that he should be happy for her. Tenna being the insufferable idiot that he is buts into a conversation he shouldn't, fueling their rage further. The temperature drops into negatives, and Rouxls Kard wanders in asking if the weather couple is single. What the hell Roulxs. Why. Elnina insults Lanino, saying weather girls are the wave, and that the sun and moon are boring and put her to sleep. Elnina, your boyfriend is literally the personification of moonshine on the weather channel. Lanino dumps her ass, as he should and leaves the room. Elnina call him a dry biscuit as the weather drops to -999 degrees. Elninas attack is sloppy without her partner. She instinctively looks to him for approval, seeing he's not there she realizes the error of her ways and burst into tears. Tenna trying to save face appears and ends the battle by spamming "I Love TV" until the counter reaches 99.
YOU GOT THE MOONCLOUD STONE!
YOU walk up into the first room, and into the shop to buy the final key, YOU weren't going to go and trek through the desert to find one specific cactus now were YOU? No, YOU weren't. YOU and the fun gang enter the pyramid, descending into the dungeon. The final test begins.
YOU are violently thrown into the first mini game, the cooking show. Which YOU hate, dodging is annoying and YOU should be better at it by now. Kris's body dances over flames, precariously balancing trays of food piled high above their head. YOU chuck the food at the people slowing walking by, raising the stars of the "restaurant." YOU wish that Susie wouldn't cook up so many flames, as it's causing severe burns on Kris's legs. And maybe some bruising from when they fall over and drop all the food on their head. YOU hope Kris doesn't get a concussion. Despite YOUR idiocy in this round, YOU get A-Rank. Thank God, or maybe the angel. Except, YOU are the angel. YOU reflect that YOU might be this pissed off because YOU couldn't ask out Susie.
"Wow it's over already?" Susie asks? Ralsei says they'll see them next episode. The credits start rolling, giving special thanks to the dark fountain, but not Kris who made it. Tenna kicks the credits out of the way, saying the fun-o-meter is only at 80%, so we have to play another round.
As a transition, Tenna asks for a word from the sponsors, which is probably the knight. An old-timey sepia toned background frames an elegant font, just saying one word. which is "Word" in big bold letters.
You are in the green room. YOU don't want to go to the S-Rank room and get the shadow mantle. YOU are too engrossed in the fact that Susie is aware of YOUR existence. YOU talk to Elnina, the irony of Spanish pronouns washing over YOU. This girl doesn't know that she's about to get her whole world rocked by Rouxls Kard. Fucking Rouxls Kard. YOU ask about Lanino, she pauses for a moment. Then she bursts into sobs, screaming that her sunshine is gone. The Pippin that she was sitting with slowly inches away from her, a concerned expression on its face. YOU tell her that her forecast is love. She doesn't look as upset anymore.
YOU go into the ABC room, finding Lanino, standing all alone. YOU ask him what the forecast is. He, much like Elnina, bursts into tears telling Kris how everything reminds him of her, YOU tell him that his forecast is love, and he thanks you for it.
YOU walk into the A-Rank room, bribing a Pippins with 500 points to be let into a room YOU have never been in before, YOU always skip it in YOUR playthroughs, but apparently it has something to do with Susie. And YOU want to win her heart for Kris.
Susie is in a green dinosaur costume, hanging from a rope tied around her waist, suspended from the ceiling. YOU control Susie's rope, dragging her along to hit enemies that are pursuing Tenna. YOU use Susie to attack the saxophone shadows; who are dressed in silly costumes, destroy the houses that were used in chapter 2; which house people who gave Tenna bad ratings, and take down yellow bulldozers from behind. Along with attacking a crude rendition of spamton, guess Tenna's still not over the divorce with the mailman. The room ends in a firey explosion as the shadows take out their anger on Tenna.
"No TVs were harmed in the making of this mini game." Flashes on screen.
Not wanting to deal with anymore relationship drama, YOU walk into the hallway. YOU can't move? This isn't a cutscene YOU recognize. Susie looks. Upset.
"Kris, or I mean. The angel, what were you going to tell me." Susie gets that sad look on her face, or well text portrait. YOU hear nothing, YOU can't speak. But Susie's expression changes. Surprised laughter bubbles up through her throat. She throws her head back, making that weird lizard sound.
"God Kris that's so creepy!!" Susie says through fits of laughter. Kris must've said something. She imitates a dark creepy voice, but the illusion is ruined by her giggles.
"The soul's not here right now." Wow, that's what Kris said? Completely inaccurate too, given that Kris didn't make us close our eyes and think about someone else to get us away from them.
"Alright Kris, but I will be talking with the soul later." She says, wagging her finger at them. At US.
"Y'know Kris, we should like. Go check up on Tenna, so we can see what he's got planned for his next board." Susie says conspiratorially, as she runs to follow Tenna. Leaving you alone with Ralsei.
"Maybe we should close our eyes and think about Susie?" Ralsei asks, the perfect picture of innocence. This Bitch. YOU ask to just chill.
"Like chill with our eyes closed?" He asks, God take no for an answer Ralsei. YOU struggle against Kris's autonomy, feeling a frown on Kris's face take hold. YOU slowly lift Kris's hand, and show Ralsei the middle finger. His jaw drops. He stares at YOU, it feels like Kris's jaw drops too. Then YOU feel their mouth move, saying something.
"I don't know." Ralsei says. He sounds lost.
Susie shows back up and asks what we two weirdos were doing. THe choices are "nothing," and "The soul flipped off Ralsei for doing absolutely nothing." YOU pick the second one, even though it's not true. Because Ralsei did do something and deserved to be flipped the bird.
Susie breaks out in raucous laughter, falling on all fours and hitting the floor with her fist.
"Damn Ralsei what the fuck did you do!?" She practically screams through her laughter.
Tenna interrupts this funny scene to tell us we'll be moving onto the next board.