Chapter Text
Belly sat forward on her waiting room chair, her eyes fixed to the floor.
She wouldn’t move, couldn’t move… Frozen to her spot.
She could sense his stare, but refused to meet his gaze. Jeremiah’s eyes were pleading, begging, for her to give him a sign, anything.
She didn’t….
Jeremiah fucked up. He knew he did. He had crossed a line he wasn’t sure he could ever step back over.
“Belly…” Jere tried to reach for her hand. She immediately pulled away, crossing her arms over her chest.
“How could you…” She whispered, her voice cracking as she spoke. “After everything the doctor told us? After everything we-?”
She cut herself off, and looked away.
“Bells. I-I’m sorry... When I saw you laying next to him in that hospital bed. And the way he looked at you.” Jere kept looking at Belly, “ I lost it, okay? I didn’t mean to-” He tried to reach for her again, but she flinched,
“Stop.” She said “Just, stop Jere. I don’t want to hear any of your excuses. I just-” Belly let out a long, exhausted sigh, “I can’t do this. Not right now.”
Time moved in slow motion as Jeremiah, Belly, Laurel and Steven sat in suffocating silence.
Laurel called Adam as soon as it happened. He was on his way back the moment he heard the news.
Steven paced back and forth, while Jeremiah sat with his head in his hands.
Belly didn't move from her spot. Her eyes stayed glued to the floor, as her thoughts spiraled over everything that had happened in the last 48 hours? Or had it been 72? Time had honestly lost all meaning at this point.
The double doors burst open as Adam rushed into the waiting room. “What happened?! He was fine when I left! What went wrong?” He asked the room, but no one spoke.
Dr. Silverman stepped out into the waiting room, immediately causing everyone to stand up from their seats.
“How is he? Is he okay? Can we-” Adam rambled, but the doctor simply put her hand up and spoke.
“He’s stabilized, but his system suffered a massive shock.” Dr. Silverman explained, "Waking up to a reality he wasn't prepared for caused a neurological overload. To protect his brain and allow his nervous system to recover, we’ve intubated him and placed him in a medically induced coma.”
The word coma sat heavy in the room.
“A coma?” Adam gripped the side of his head, letting the word sink in. Then the doctor’s other words rushed back. “Wait, a reality he wasn’t prepared for-? What is she talking about?” Adam looked around the room, once again seeking answers, but everyone remained silent.
All eyes fell on Jeremiah, who stood quietly in a state of shock.
“What have I done?” Jeremiah thought.
Adam clocked the shifting gazes landing on Jere. Before he could open his mouth, Belly stepped forward.
“Why… why was he shaking like that?” Belly’s voice quivered.
“It was a stress-induced seizure,” Dr. Silverman said softly. “When the brain gets overwhelmed by intense physical or emotional shock, it can react violently. Right now, our main goal is to lower his core temperature and protect his brain function. We’ll start weaning him off the sedatives once his system calms down, but until then, we wait.”
Jeremiah stumbled back until his hands found the wall behind him.
“It’s my fault.”
He stared at the floor, his face void of all emotions.
“It’s all my fucking fault.”
“Jeremiah… What did you do?” Adam breathed, anger threatening his tone.
“Dad, I-” Jere croaked out.
“Don’t ‘Dad’ me!” Adam snapped “You just couldn’t do it? You couldn’t control your emotions for just a few days for your brother’s sake? You knew what the doctors told us! That this could happen!” Adam pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, “How would you be so selfish, so irresponsible?"
“I’m-I’m sorry,” Jere’s voice trembled, his eyes filling with tears “I didn’t mean to-”
“It doesn’t matter if you didn’t mean to. The point is, you did. Unbelievable!” Adam continued to scold him.
Watching Jeremiah get yelled at by his father like a little kid again sent a sudden pang of sympathy through Belly. She remembered seeing Adam get angry at the summer house when they were younger. Specifically, when she and Jeremiah had attempted to make kool-aid slurpees with the good blender and ruined Adam’s favorite brief case.
It scared her back then, too.
Jeremiah’s eyes found Belly’s, she stared back at him a moment longer, her eyes temporarily filled with pity, before turning her head away again.
Jeremiah wiped his face with his arm then without another word, ran out the hospital doors.
“Adam.” Laurel’s voice was sharp and stern, “You can’t talk to him like that.”
“He’s acting like a child, Laurel! He put his own brother in danger!” Adam gestured towards the ICU.
“Stop it!” Laurel snapped, her voice cutting through the room “He is a child, Adam. He’s seventeen years old! Yes, he made a terrible mistake but he’s also terrified and drowning in guilt. The last thing he needs right now is his father, the only parent he has left, screaming in his face.”
“Laurel-” Adam stepped forward, opening his mouth to argue again.
“Don’t.” Laurel put her hand in front of his face and sighed. “You need to remember that Jeremiah is still a boy. A boy who just lost his mother. He needs his father right now, Adam. But, not like this.”
She turned on her heels, heading in the direction of Jeremiah leaving Adam to think about what he did.
Adam dragged both hands through his hair in frustration. The weight of how he reacted towards his youngest sinking in.
Once the room quieted down again, Belly stood up looking in the direction of the ICU.
“Belly, wait.” Steven grabbed her arm. “Con… He might not look like himself right now. Just, try not to freak out, okay?”
She nodded and quietly pulled away.
Steven watched his little sister go, a crease of worry tightening his brow. His hand slipped into his pocket, fingers grazing something buried inside. Steven sat there, wrestling with a choice he wasn’t sure he should make.
—------------------
As Belly walked down the hall, each step felt impossibly heavy. When she reached the window of Conrad’s room, the sight made her gasp.
In the ICU, Conrad lay completely motionless, lost in a deep state of unconsciousness. A mechanical ventilator hummed quietly beside the bed, forcing air into his lungs. The low hiss of the machine and the soft rustle of a cooling blanket as the nurse draped it over him were the only sounds that could be heard in the room.
Belly’s whole body shook as tears rolled down her cheeks.
How did everything fall apart so fast?
She leaned forward, pressing her forehead against the cool glass.
It’s not all Jere’s fault. It’s my fault too. I knew I was playing with their emotions, but I was too much of a coward to say how I really felt. How could I be so stubborn? So selfish?
“Stupid, messy Belly.” She whispered to her own reflection.
Belly’s guilt was eating her up inside, she didn’t know where to turn. When suddenly, her phone buzzed in her pocket.
A text from Taylor!
Taylor: Still here for you, B. <3 Hope you’re hanging in there. Call me if you need anything at all!
Belly needed Taylor now more than ever! She needed someone who hadn’t been trapped in the same suffocating bubble with her the last couple of days. Taylor Jewel always knew what to do.
Belly exhaled and typed out a quick message.
Belly: Can you talk? I really need you right now.
Her phone rang before she could even put it back in her pocket.
“Belly! Thank God,” Taylor’s voice burst through, full of panic. “Steven gave me the quick version about the accident and Conrad’s memory loss, but what the hell is happening over there? Are you okay?!”
“Tay,” Belly choked out, her voice shaking as she leaned against the wall behind her, “I- I ruined it. I ruined everything. I broke them, Taylor!”
“Hey, Belly, no. I don’t think you ruined everything.” Taylor said, her voice laced with concern.
“Yes, I did!” Belly rubbed her nose on her sweater sleeve, “I thought Jere was the right choice, that he was my future. I thought I finally got it right and I was ready to move on with him!” Belly’s breath hitched, “But then Conrad’s, seeing him look at me the way he used to, like no time had passed. I didn’t know, I couldn’t-” Belly was spiraling.
“Whoa, hey, B. I can barely understand you. Take a deep breath for me, okay?” Taylor spoke calmly, “In and out.”
Belly listened to Taylor and took a few deep breaths, in and out.
“Better?” Taylor asked.
“Yeah, better.” Belly nodded.
“Okay. Now, walk me through what happened.” Taylor said calmly
“Before the accident, Jere and I went to tour Finch.” Belly started, “Being there with him just felt so right. I could see our future so clearly—me playing volleyball, Jere cheering from the sidelines, going to parties and dancing until our feet hurt. Just the two of us. And when we got back to Brown… Jere kissed me!”
“Wait, you guys kissed!?” Taylor exclaimed, “Oh my god, B!
“I know! And at first I thought that was it, I'd made my decision. My future was set but then-”
“Then…?” Belly could hear Taylor’s eyebrow raise over the phone.
“Then Conrad,” Belly muttered. “I swear I wanted Jere to be my answer. He’s warm, he’s safe, he’s my best friend… But when Jere lost his temper at Conrad earlier… when he got so angry just because Conrad was confused and reached for me… it scared me, Tay. It felt like he cared more about winning than about his own brother suffering.”
Belly rubbed her temple, all the crying she’d been doing the last few days finally giving her a headache but she continued.
“I know I should have been more sensitive to Jeremiah’s feelings,” Belly said, wiping her face. “But the moment I stepped into Conrad’s hospital room and he looked at me, my heart just ached. It felt like there was no one else in the room but us. And when he took my hand and smiled, the way he used to, it was like nothing bad had ever happened. Like I could just pretend along with him and act like everything was still okay.” She choked back a breath. “I knew how hard it was going to be for Jere to pretend Susannah was still alive, but somewhere along the way, I completely lost sight of how much it would hurt him to see me with Conrad.” Belly paused, her breath hitching. “I don’t want to hurt Jeremiah again, Taylor, but I—I—”
She pressed her face against the glass, watching the steady rise and fall of Conrad’s chest as the ventilator helped him to breathe.
“You still have feelings for Conrad.” Taylor finished for her.
Belly blinked in confusion.”Yes… But, how-?”
“Babe, anyone with eyes can see that whenever you two look at each other, that same electricity is still right there. And watching the way he looked at you this summer, I’m pretty sure he still feels that way too.”
“No, no he doesn't.” Belly shook her head, her throat tight. “He doesn't feel that way about me, Tay. Not real-life Conrad. Not anymore...” She gazed through the glass at Conrad’s still, pale face.
“Belly, I love you girl but it baffles me how painfully blind you can be sometimes.” Taylor sighed into the phone.
“Hey!” Belly protested, “That’s not… true.”
“Sorry, but it kinda is.” Taylor snorted on the other end of the phone.
“If you knew, then why did you push me toward Jeremiah all summer?” Belly asked, a hint of hurt and confusion in her voice.
Taylor hesitated before admitting the truth.
“Because when you started getting close to Jere this summer, I thought it was a chance for you to have a fresh start.” Taylor quietly said, “I thought Jeremy was the better choice, that he’d protect your heart. After everything that happened with Conrad at prom and the funeral, I couldn’t bear to watch you go through that, not again, B... Jere, he felt safe. He loves you out loud, and I thought he’d make your life fun and light. And with Conrad moving to California, I thought you’d finally get a clean break.”
Taylor let out a heavy breath.
“I’m sorry, Belly. I shouldn’t have tried to push you into a new relationship when your heart was still tangled up in the old one.”
“Taylor…”
“Look, you know I’m practically the freakin’ CEO of Team Jellyfish,” Taylor huffed, “But, you also know I love you more than anything and at the end of the day, I’m Team Belly first. I just want you to be happy, B. Like, actually happy! Even if it means you decide to go back to moody, brooding Con-bad.”
“Oh my god, Taylor. Stop.” Belly rolled her eyes, letting out a small, genuine laugh.
“I’m serious. I’ve got your back, no matter what you decide.”
“Thanks, Taylor...” Belly smiled. “God, you really are an amazing friend.”
“Oh, I know.” Now they both laughed through the phone. “And for the record, I’m your best friend. I will fight Jeremy tooth and nail for that title. I'll see you for volleyball camp in a couple days, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Belly smiled, “Thank you, Tay. I love you.”
“Love you too, B.” Taylor said, “Hang in there.”
As the line went dead, the heavy knot in Belly’s throat felt a little looser.
—-----------------
Stepping outside the hospital entrance, Laurel shivered as she was struck by the cold, damp air.
Laurel had always loved Conrad and Jeremiah like her own sons. After Susannah passed away she knew she needed to help fill that role, now more than ever. She had always shared a special bond with Conrad, but she never held any less room in her heart for Jeremiah.
Following her maternal instincts, it didn’t take long for Laurel to find a dejected and miserable Jeremiah sulking outside on a concrete bench. He sat with his knees pulled up to his chest, his frame shaking slightly. Laurel approached him cautiously, hovering for a few seconds before taking a step forward to speak.
“Hey,” Laurel said softly.
Jeremiah’s head snapped up, suddenly aware of her presence. He quickly wiped the tears from his eyes.
“Mind if I sit?” She gestured at the spot next to him.
“Sure. Whatever...” He sniffed and mumbled into his knees.
They sat together in silence, as the bustling sounds of the hospital faded into the background.
“So, are you going to yell at me too?” Jere didn’t look at Laurel, afraid of the judgment in her eyes.
“No, sweetheart.” Laurel said softly, placing a tender hand on the back of his head. “I’m not going to yell at you.”
Feeling Laurel’s touch, and hearing her gentle tone, was all it took for the damn to break. Jeremiah sobbed and Laurel pulled him in close. She smoothed his hair back just like Susannah used to do.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Laurel. I fucked everything up! I just- I got so angry. I didn’t mean for him to get hurt.” Laurel kept her arms around him as he continued to lean into her and cry.
“Shhhh, I know Jere. I know.” Laurel rubbed his arm, trying to calm him down.
“I spent months watching my mom slip away, losing her in real time. Sometimes it felt like I was doing it all on my own. And now… I’m losing everything else too. My dad hates me, Connie’s in a coma, and Belly—” He stopped, unable to finish saying her name.
“You’ve been through a lot, all of you have. You’re far too young to be carrying a burden like this.” Laurel brushed a few loose curls away from his face.
“Everyone hates me.” Jeremiah muttered, hanging his head.
“Nobody hates you, Jere. What you did was wrong and people are upset and worried, but they don’t hate you.”
“But my dad… He always gets so mad at me, ever since I was a kid. I just never felt like I was good enough.”
“Jeremiah, your dad was wrong for what he did. Of course he’s upset, but it didn’t give him the right to snap at you like that.” Laurel smirked, “I hate to tell you this, kid, but your dad’s a bit of an asshole.”
Jeremiah let out a half laugh.
They sat for a moment longer in silence before Jere spoke up again.
“I love her, Laurel.” Jeremiah swallowed thickly, “I love Belly so much. She’s my best friend. But no matter what I do, she’s always going to look at Conrad like he hung the moon and the freakin’ stars. I’m always going to be the second choice. Second son, second best. I’m nothing.”
“Jeremiah, look at me.” Laurel said, gently taking his face in her hands, “Listen to me. You are not nothing. You have a heart that feels deeply, and a light that brightens up any room you enter. You always know how to make people laugh when they are down. Ever since you were little, you always knew how to put a smile on everyone’s face. You were our happy little Energizer Bunny.” Laurel chuckled, giving Jeremiah’s nose a small boop, “You are not Conrad but that’s because you’re not supposed to be. You are Jeremiah. And Jeremiah is more than enough” Laurel smiled, pulling Jeremiah into one more tight hug.
“Thank you, Laurel.” Jeremiah sniffed as Laurel rubbed his back. He let out a deep sigh, not quite relief, but somewhere in between. “I love you.”
“I love you too, kiddo. Now, let’s go back inside and see if we can’t do some damage control.” Laurel held out her hand to him.
“Okay.” Jeremiah took her hand and walked back inside with her.
—-------------------------
Belly walked down a dimly lit hallway, towards a vending machine. She was desperate for water, needing to soothe her raw cried out throat, when a voice caught her off guard.
“Hey.”
Belly gasped, jumping backwards before noticing Steven standing behind her.
“Jesus, Steven! You scared the crap out of me.” Belly gave Steven a light punch in the arm.
“Well, we are all running on pure adrenaline right now so I don’t blame you.” He chuckled, then cleared his throat.
“Listen, I need to talk to you about Conrad.” His voice shifted into a more serious tone.
Belly's whole body went stiff at the mention of his name, her defensive walls immediately going back up.
“C-Conrad. What about him?”
“It's just, there are some things you need to know. Things he told me, before the accident.”
“Steven, please. I’m exhausted. I really can’t do this right now-”
“No, Belly. Listen, you need to hear this.” Steven put his arm out in front of Belly to stop her from walking away.
“What the hell, Steven! I seriously don’t want to talk about this and no offense, but I especially don’t want to talk about this with you.” Belly pushed his arms to the side, and began to walk away when Steven called out.
“Before you guys went to Brown, before any of this happened, Conrad told me he still had feelings for you.”
Belly stopped in her tracks and turned to face her brother.
“What?” She breathed out, trying to process the words he was saying.
“He told me he wanted to win you back. He wanted a second chance,” Steven said, with a sad smile. “He literally called it ‘Plan Belly.’” He shook his head and laughed.
“P-plan… Belly?” Belly stuttered.
He reached into his pants pocket, his fingers searching for something inside. “I know I should be pissed at him. I shouldn’t give him my blessing for another chance, not after how much he hurt you. But he was drowning after Susannah died. He couldn't handle his own grief, let alone yours. But he’s trying now.”
Steven finally pulled out the object he was fumbling for in his pocket.
Belly gasped as the unmistakable glint of silver caught her eye.
The Infinity Necklace
“I found it, in Conrad’s dorm room. He kept it, Belly. He never let it go.”
Steven decided not to mention Jeremiah hovering over the trash can when he found it. Jere had done enough damage himself already.
Belly stared at the necklace, speechless.
“He still loves you, I know he does.” Steven said softly, “I’m not saying you need to get back with him right now. But, Belly, don’t give up on him. Not yet.”
Belly stared at the silver pendant, watching it swing back and forth in the air. Her heart felt like it was beating a million, trillion times a minute. She reached out a trembling hand, her fingers hovering inches from the metal when-
“Bells?”
Both Steven and Belly turned sharply. Jeremiah was standing at the end of the hallway, his eyes red and raw. His gaze traveled from Belly’s frozen expression down to the silver infinity symbol suspended between her and Steven.
The air seemed to leave the room as the three of them stood locked in a painful standstill.