Chapter Text
Chapter 4: Never Let Me Go
Remy’s POV
“You ready?” Rogue asks me, squeezing my hand with her gloved one.
“No,” I figure I might as well answer honestly.
“Hey,” she cups my face with her hands and makes me look her in the eyes, “We’re gonna get through this. Together. There won’t be a single moment that you’ll be alone in that room, ok?”
I can’t even begin to explain the love I felt for her in that moment. I let her words ring through my ears as I think about what I had found in my nightstand drawer early this morning. I know I have dark patches under my eyes. I had barely slept last night.
“Remy?” Rogue says softly to get my attention again.
“I—I’m ready now,” so much for honesty.
She smiles and opens the door to Xavier’s office.
“We’re here, Professah.”
“Rogue, Remy. I am happy you are doing this. Remy,” he looks at me, “I am not going to go deep today, just the more recent events. The memories will be brought to the forefront of your mind. Are you ready?”
“Will I…will I be aware?” my voice is weak, shaky.
“Yes.”
I look to Rogue and she squeezes my hand again.
“I—I’m ready,” I mutter as Rogue and I sit down in front of Xavier’s desk, facing him.
Rogue POV
I saw Remy tense as Xavier entered his mind and I felt his grip on my hand tighten. After last night, I know exactly what he’s remembering right now, how he’s feeling right now.
“Remy,” no response, “Remy.”
Still nothing. He was biting his lip, and tears were forming in his eyes.
“Remy Étienne LeBeau, look at me…please.”
That got his attention. His red-on-black eyes fixed on me.
“Remy,” I begin, grabbing his other hand, “do you remember when we went to save the Professor from the Savage Land?”
He nods.
“And our powers didn’t work? We were captured and Sinister was using our powers and life energy to strengthen his own team. When Vertigo was using her strengthened powers on us and Ah told you Ah was scared?”
Another nod as a tear slid down his cheek.
“You remember what you said? You told me to be brave. You told me you loved me, and that you’d never said those words to anyone before.”
Another tear. I know he’s reliving Genosha right now. I don’t know how, I just know.
“And then, for the first time in my whole life. I got to kiss the man I love without hurting him. I will never forget that day, Remy, for as long as I live. But I made a mistake that night.”
Remy just stared at me, but I could tell he’d loosened up some.
“I didn’t tell you how I felt. So, here goes nothin’. Ah cried for hours, days, after you died. Not just ‘cause Ah’d lost ya’ but because you died thinkin’ Ah didn’t love you. Because you died thinkin’ that I meant every word Ah said before the Gala. Believed that I didn’t think we were deeper than skin, that we were worth the effort. I’d given up on you, on us, in every way that counts. All because Ah was scared. And Ah know y’all’s scared right now, and that’s okay! You don’t need to have it all together all the time. Wanna know why? ‘Cause I love you the confident, the flirt, the hero, the scared, the vulnerable, all of it. All of you. So, be brave, Sugah. Ah’ve never meant these words more than Ah do now, but Ah love you. Ah love you so much,” I was crying now, “And Ah’m beyond grateful that Ah get this second chance with you. This chance to tell you how I feel, how I’ve felt for years. So, please, don’t leave me anymore,” I hold my breath for his response.
“Chère,” he murmurs, “keep breathin’ ‘cause I ain’t leavin’ you anymore.”
I open my mouth to say something, but then Xavier speaks, “I am finished.”
We both turn to him, “Remy, I do believe PTSD is the root cause I can continue to do sessions similar to this to at least significantly decrease the risk. If you are willing. The choice is up to you.”
Remy looks to me and says, “I think I can do it.”
I just smile.
Remy’s POV; a few weeks later
I sit on my bed; my room slowly being lit by the sunrise. Xavier’s therapy has helped some. Rogue has helped a lot. She’s always there, at every session and beyond. I don’t know what I’d do without her. That’s why I was holding a small, burned, white box and a note. The note simply said: “Since your poker face is still very poor, I found this. Go for it, mein Freund.”
It was already wrinkled in spots from getting wet. I’d never realized…how much Kurt meant to me. And now he’s gone and I don’t even get to thank him proper. I opened the box and stared at the diamond ring inside, light catching on the jewel.
‘Just marry ‘ze Belle and be done with it.’
Rogue’s POV; that evening
“Remy, where are we going?” he’d told me to get in something fancy and had barely let me walk out my door before he grabbed my hand and started walking.
“You’ll see.”
We were far enough from the Mansion that it was little more than a dot now and Remy was still traipsing up a hill.
“Remy, hon’, are you sure—” I stopped dead in my tracks when we reached the top of the hill. For in front of me was a pond in the shape of a heart with flowers of pink, blue, yellow, and red lining the edges. He let’s go of my hand and I walk closer to the pond.
“Remy, it’s…it’s beautiful. How did you fi—” I suck in a breath when I turn around.
“Anna Marie Darkhölme,” Remy begins, down on one knee and holding a burned box with a diamond ring in it, “two months ago, I sacrificed myself for you. One month ago, you tried to sacrifice yourself for me. Yet here we both are, alive and…somewhat well.”
I giggle through my forming tears, which draws a smile on his face.
“Recent events have made me realize I can’t live without you. I used to think I had sinned too much to be worthy of your love. Then someone reminded me that there is no love without sin. He told me that love is best measured by what we forgive. So, I have two questions for you, mon couer. Will you forgive me for bein’ away for far too long? And…will you marry me?”
I look deep into his eyes, so full of hope, of life. I can hardly see the depression that filled them only a few weeks ago, and so I tell him, “To your first question…only if you can forgive me for the same thing.”
He smiles warmly, “Of course, ma colombe.”
“And to your second…yes. Yes, Ah’ll marry you,” I’m crying as he slides the ring onto my finger.
Then he stands up and, faster than I can stop him, he plants his lips on mine, kissing me deeply.
When he pulls away, he’s steady, surprising me.
“See, told you I have plenty of energy to—” he starts, then sways, “uh-oh.”
Then his eyes roll towards the back of his head and he collapses. I catch him and lower him gently to the ground, muttering.
“You idiot Cajun,” I say, but I’m smiling, “what did you expect?”
Then a memory of his pushes to the forefront of my mind and I feel a wave of unavoidable feelings fall on my heart.
The memory was of that day in the Savage Land.