Chapter Text
Ichigo smiled as he grab some papers form his closet, the captains were waiting at kisuke office, he couldn’t help but to smirked.
Before ichigo left
Sui-feng looked at ichigo. “We are here to collect aizen and bring him back to muken.” Ichigo looked at Sui-feng. “I can probably stop you without beating you in a fight.” Ichigo said, isshin looked at his son before sui-feng grit her teeth. “And how so would you do that, kurosaki?” Byakuya tuned in. Ichigo hummed before leaning back. “Want to find out?” He tilted his head to the side as if he was challenging them. “Why not carrot top.” Renji said before ichigo nodded and left to grab something. Rukia couldn’t help but to feel like they had just signed their life’s away.
Back with ichigo.
Ichigo hummed before as he grab the very special card from his closet that he was waiting to use. Kon looked at ichigo as he grab the cards. “Who the hell pissed you off?” He asked as ichigo looked back at him. “Centeral 46 and I am bring all the captains to suffer with me.” Kon hummed and his eyes widen before nodding. “Well the captains are going to have a lovely time with those cards.” Ichigo chuckled. “How did central 46 piss you off by the way?” Ichigo looked at kon before sighing. “The decided it would be a good idea to take my quincy powers away form me.” Kon hummed. “Well they don’t know who they are dealing with then, I still remember that one time that PDF file tried to get close to yuzu and you made sure he wouldn’t pollute the gene poll any more.” Ichigo grinned widely at the memory before getting the last of the cards and flash stepping away back to kisuke.
Kon stayed still form a moment before rubbing his forehead. “And rukia still thinks I am the pervert. How does he get hard form killing PDF files?” Kon asked aloud before wondering how the soul reapers didn’t know about ichigo’s crazy side after all they have been through.
Back at kisuke
Ichigo came in with a lot of letters in his hand. “Oh?” rukia said as ichigo handed each of them one before smiling. “When you go back to the soul society please give the rest to the other captains.” Ichigo said smiling before rukia opened her card. As she opened the card, and opened it, her face went red as a tomato before she slammed her card shut. Everyone looked at her. “Is everything alright lieutenant kuchiki?” Sui-feng asked as rukia slowly nodded. “Y-yea.” Ichigo smirked before crossing his arm over his chest. “Do you like the invite to the BDSM dungeon, I gift you, rukia?” Everyone eyes went wide as the just stared at ichigo. “What the hell?” Renji said as he looked down at his own card. “I suggest you go back to the soul society to open yours, sui-feng and bayukya.” The two captains look at each other before nodding. “Lets go back.” Sui-feng siad as the opened the gate way to the soul society and the walked through it leaving only ichigo, isshin and yoruichi in the room as the banging in the other room stopped along time ago. Ichigo couldn’t help but to grin as the soul reapers left. “Lets see how long it takes them to come back.” Isshin looked at his son with a confused look. “What?”
“Its those cards that don’t shut up until the battery dies.” Isshin mouth dropped opened. “Its not that bad, you just have to place those cards somewhere you can’t hear them.” Ichigo grin got wider as yoruichi talked. “That would be a good strategy but the noises are custom made, its their search history.” Both former captains looked at ichigo. “That not that bad.” Isshin muttered before ichigo just looked at him. “Usually but I chose the most weirdest ones yet.” Isshin and yoruichi looked at eachother.
In the soul society
The captains where all blushing besides kenpachi as the cards played their most weird search history.
Shunsui: how to hide alcohol bottle in the floor boards.
Soi fon: Does hickeys show up on black skin
Rose: Female parts art
Shinji: how to hit a child without others knowing about it
Byakuya: How to get your sister with her crush
Kensei: how to do military training
Hitsugaya: How to make yourself look older
Kenpachi: dancing teddy bear video’s
Mayuri: Strongest poison on earth
“What the fuck, ichigo?” Shinji asked as the cards kept playing, with glitter spilled on the floor around the captains. When Soi fon told them that ichigo had cards for them they were all expecting updates on how he was doing after central 46 seal his quincy side (Which they do not approve of.), Shunsui slightly smiled at ichigo’s prank on the gotei 13. “My question is, how did kurosaki get his hands on our search history without us noticing. It seems that boy keeps surprising us.” mayuri said as he looked at his card. “It seems kurosaki is going to bring us down with him.” Byakuya said as all captains looked at him. “Bring us all down?” Kensei repeated before Byakuya talked again. “Kurosaki first mated with Aizen than sent us these cards, he’s backing us into a conner” Shunsui titled his hat down over his eyes before smiling. “He scary when hes mad.” Hitsugaya looked at shunsui as he said that before hyorinmaru whispered in his mind. Master, the gotei 13 did deserve this. Hitsugaya sent a mental eye glare. Did you forget that zangestu is both his quincy side and his fused soul reaper and hollow sides, its likely that his quincy side was suppressing his hollow mating seasons. Hitsugaya felt like face palming. “Fuck.” He whispered as the rest of the captains looked at him. “Captain hitsugaya?” shinji asked. “Ichigo is pissed at us for not stopping central 46 for taking his quincy side.” Everyone titled their heads slightly before mayuri caught on. “Are you saying kurosaki quincy side was suppressing his hollow instinct?”
“Yep.”
In that moment the captains realized how deep of a hole they were in, that they dug themselves.
Hyorinmaru looked at his master in his inner world. He sighed as senbonzakura manifested in the inner world with his permission. “Hyorinmaru.” he looked at senbonzakura. “Have you told your master?” senbonzakura nodded his head no. “No, he wouldn’t believe if i told him.” Hyorinmaru nodded his head. “It’s likely to happen sooner or later.” Senbonzakura hummed. “The soul reapers didn’t noticed the aphrodisiac in the cards.” Both zanpakuto’s looked at eachother. “Kurosaki is quite cunny when he wants to be.” Senbonzakura said as hyorinmaru hummed in agreement. “The others have picked up on it but haven’t told their wielder’s.” Hyorinmaru told senbonzakura.
They both hoped when the aphrodisiac kicked in, their wielders won’t be in public. Both zanpakuto realized at the same time that was probably ichigo’s plan along.