Chapter Text
Rick is pointedly trying not to freak the fuck out.
He had just turned down himself who wanted to herd him into creating some glowing green teleporter, practically quit the big science thing (cus the him that had figured it out seemed 100% insane) for his family. He must've blacked out or something because then he woke up in some strange murder basement with a little kid looking down at him with big worried eyes.
Said little kid apparently owned said murder basement, and was his Grandkid. Considering Beth was eight, Rick very much doubted that and came to the logical conclusion that this isn't his grandson, which means this isn't his universe.
And now he was in a crazy sophisticated elevator with some other Rick's Grandson - Morty - and he had no idea how he was going to get home.
Not that he was going to share these worries with a teenager(?) who still thought he was his Grandpa Rick.
He had to find this universe's Diane. Or any trusted adult at this point.
God, if he was a Grandpa... Beth must be a Mother.
He was supposed to be getting ice-cream with her as his little girl, not being forced to travel the multiverse with a Grandson that wasn't even his.
The elevator made no noise as it stopped and opened it's door. Neither of the move for a few moments, before a bemused Morty takes the lead out.
"So, uh, this is your garage." He mumbles, half-heartedly gesturing around, "It's got your inventions and stuff."
Rick looks around.
It's clearly a different house than the one he lives in now with Diane and Beth, but at a closer look he does recognise things. The garage is covered in mechanical pieces and tools, and the notes pinned to the note board are in his scrawled handwriting. There's a crude drawing in the corner of one, but also clear diagrams of insanely complicated gadgets. Rick glances over them, trying to make sense of the components, but many of the materials have weird spellings with letters he's never seen before.
He turns away and cringes at the vast amount of flasks and empty beer bottles on the floor.
"You weren't kidding when you said he drank." Rick grimaces.
"Yeah." Morty fidgets from his place by the door.
Rick cringes again and changes the subject.
"So we live with you guys then?"
Morty's face goes through a vast amount of emotions before he shrugs. He's tapping on a little machine which Rick squints at.
"What is that?"
Morty startles, "Oh, t- this?"
Rick nods and walks over, causing Morty to make the screen go dark.
"Wow, I f- forgot just how old you were." Morty mumbles, "I- it's a phone, but, like, uh better. You can, um, take photos and text people on it."
"A camera, computer and phone all in one?"
Morty nods, taps on it a few times and the screen suddenly shows his face. He passes it over to Rick who moves it around in front of him and marvels at how the image copies his face in real time.
"It's so responsive..." He mumbles before tapping at the different icons on the screen himself.
"Oh, you just- just took a selfie." Morty points at the image at the bottom of the screen, "A- and now you're recording. Tap that to swap the camera to the back. O- oh: y- you're recording me? Um. Hi!"
Rick grins watching the tiny Morty wave at him through the device.
"This is a marvel of engineering." Rick says happily, turning the phone around to squint at the tiny camera, "Did we make it together?"
"What? No!" Morty says with a tilt of his head, "No. Like, everyone has one. Made in factories and stuff."
"Oh. We should make one. Cheaper and more fun. If I knew how it worked... how'd they fit a pulse cam in this; it's so thin? And the pressure sensitive controls... Can I take it apart?"
"No!" Morty grumbles, "Do you know how many phones I go through?"
"No." Rick pouts, before turning the phone around
He swipes through the filters making Morty monochrome, before exiting the camera app and glancing through the other colourful squares.
"A- are you still recording? Rick? Hey, are you looking through me apps?"
"What's with the ghost one? And Instagram? Who's this redhead?"
"Rick! Give me back my phone!"
The door to the garage opens and the pair of them look over.
A young woman, holding a phone and glancing down at it confused, walks in. She's got blonde hair and Diane's nose. Rick immediately knows her name.
"Morty, why'd you text me to come in and not just yell out?" Beth frowns, "We can hear you over the TV anywa... what the hell, dad?"
Rick's arms go slack by his side and Morty tugs his phone back. He glances between them
"Uh, Mom." Morty's fingers fidget on his phone.
"Not now, Morty. Dad: why do you look like that?"
Rick opens his mouth but not words spill out, instead he just gapes like a fish for a moment.
Beth frowns, crossing her arms just like Diane does when she's annoyed, "Y'know what? I just realised I don't care. Be back to normal by dinner please."
She turns away with a shrug and Rick knows this is his little girl, but she's so big now. A woman. A mother. The last he'd seen of Beth she'd barely been waist height, pulling at his arm so he'd come and look at whatever she'd been drawing. She'd speak in a high-pitched voice and throw peas at him during dinner. She threw tiny tantrums when she didn't get enough marshmallows in her hot chocolate.
The woman in front of him is walking away from him. She's not his, but she's still a version of his little girl.
"Beth." Rick speaks her name softly, carefully, and something about the way he says it makes her pause in her retreat from the garage.
She turns around and her expression is confused, eye-brows pinched just like he does.
"Yeah?"
Rick takes a few steps forward, hesitates, and then presses a hand to the side of her face. She blinks at the gentle touch, glancing at Morty for half a second before looking back at Rick. He counts the barely-there freckles on her face as he tilts her head slowly from side to side. Her shade of blonde is darker than Diane's, but it has been since she was little.
"Dad?" She mumbles.
"You look just like your mother." He says slowly, before he can stop himself, "All grown up."
Beth's face goes through so many emotions that Rick can't grasp them all, but she lands on a sad, confused smile.
"Dad...?" She repeats, and her eyes are shiny.
"Hey sweetie. Love you." He smiles, gives her cheek a gentle thumb rub before pulling her hand away.
Beth follows his hand for half a second before visibly sobering up, blinking back tears. She stares at him like he's a completely different person. Which, Rick supposes, he is. He has no idea how this universe's Rick acts, other than drinking more than anyone logistically should be able to.
"Morty." Beth doesn't look away from Rick as she speaks, "What did you do to your Grandpa?"
"Wha- Me?"
"Yes: you." Beth swallows, finally glancing at her son, "He's so emotionally constipated he would never say something like that even if I paid him."
"I wouldn't?" Rick frowns, unibrow pinching.
Beth grimaces before patting him on the arm sympathetically. Rick does not find that comforting.
"Is he some alternate Rick?" Beth continues, "Where people aren't pieces of shit and are all in their thirties?"
"N- not exactly." Morty glances everywhere but Beth's face, "He is our Rick. J- just, like, not as wrinkly."
"I- I'm only twenty seven...!" Rick interjects.
"Well then why does he look like that-? Wait: I'm older than you?"
"You are?" Rick blinks, glancing at Beth.
She malfunctions for a moment, blinking at him, before turning back to Morty.
"What is going on, Morty?"
"Oo, are we yelling at Morty?" A new voice chimes in, "I wanna join in!"
Rick jumps, glancing at the doorframe to see a teenage girl leaning against it. Her ginger hair is tied messily into a ponytail and, wildly, she also reminds Rick of Diane. She has the same strong nose, even the way she smirks is similar. Must be another relative of some kind.
"Summer!" Morty whines, "Now's not the time!"
"Your room smells like a zorveon pen!" She grins, "And Grandpa Rick told me about what happened on beta-57! Yikes Morty: not cool."
"Summer!" Morty stomps his foot, flushing wildly, "Why were you even talking to him about that?"
"Cus it's funny?" She shrugs and moseys up to Rick, "It's not his fault you fumbled so bad you got a lifetime ban. "Plus, I need to get my gossip from somewhere after Bethany totally gossip-cheated on me with that bitch Becca from math. Right Grandpa Rick?"
She holds a fisted hand up to him, and he blinks at it before hesitantly bumps it back.
Summer squints at him and tilts her head.
"I was wondering why it smelt less like old farts in here." She quips, "What's with the getup?"
Rick glances down at himself. The labcoat he's wearing is much older than his own, and stained in various places with things Rick couldn'r even begin to name. He'd patted down his pockets earlier and found a strange array of items that were weird or straight up other-worldly.
And his pants were brown. For some reason.
"I... have no idea?" He smiles warily, "Are you my Granddaughter?"
Summer stares at him for a second before turning to her brother.
"Morty, what did you do?"
"Why does everyone immediately ask me?"
"Because it's almost always your fault stuff goes wrong." Summer says matter-of-factly, "Idiot."
"What? Mom!" Morty scowls.
"Summer: talk shit about your family in private. Morty: don't be a snitch."
"Hey!"
"Suck on that, dickwad!"
"Summer!"
Rick winces at the conversation's aggressive nature, and fiddles with the alien coat's pocket fabric.
"Hey, hey, let's calm down and talk it through...?" Rick interjects, "We're all family, right? No need to fight."
The three of them stop giving each other the stink-eye and all stare at Rick like he'd grown a second head.
"What?" He questions self-consciously.
"That is so not normal." Summer remarks, face cringing.
Rick frowns for what seems like the hundredth time in the last fifteen minutes.
"Seriously Morty: what the hell did you do to him." Beth says.
"I- I didn't mean to!" Morty cries out, "I- I was messing with the mind-blower gun thing, b- because- because I just was okay! And R- Rick c- came in super loudly, like kicking the door open holding some alien shit, a- and I accidentally shot him in the f- face!"
"You what?" Rick and Beth yell in-sync. Summer just sighs.
Rick doesn't know what a mind-blower gun actually is - maybe it was hidden in those blueprints he saw earlier - but by everyone's reactions it isn't a good thing. Sounds like it blows ones mind (very eloquently put, Rick) which sounds like memory removal so maybe Morty wasn't lying about him being is Grandpa. How anyone would even begin to build that, Rick has no idea.
He looks down at the gutted machine he'd found down in the vial basement place. It certainly looked like a gun of some kind.
"Accidentally!" Morty repeats, holding his palms out, "I didn't know he would go down there!"
"Into his science basement under his garage?" Summer rolls her eyes, "God: you're stupid."
Morty's face crumples, "T- this is why I was trying to fix it by myself..."
Some part of Rick crumbles along with Morty's mood. He steps closer and pats him on the head, ruffling his hair gently.
"I'm sure you would've done great, buddy." He smiles softly, "But there's no shame in asking for help, yeah? Especially not from your family. You're stuck with them for life anyway."
Beth huffs sadly and crosses her arms.
"Uh, t- thanks Rick." Morty half-smiles before turning to his sister, smile falling, "You're so right: t- this is weird as hell."
"Right? He's like the perfect family man all of a sudden." Summer frowns, "Like totally Hallmark movie, Christmas advert perfect... Is it bad I don't want to turn him back just yet."
"Summer: that is your Grandfather!" Beth yells, gesturing to Rick, "We can't just- trap him as this happy-go-lucky homebody who's- who's obsessed with family over everything forever..."
Beth trails off, glancing at Rick. He smiles awkwardly, firmly concerned about this future alternate family's dynamic and where exactly old him fit into it.
"But maybe we could... for a couple days?" She mumbles quietly.
"Mom!" Morty scolds, "Are you serious?"
"Just for a few days!" Beth says defensively, "God: it's like I said to kill him or something. It'd be nice to have him around more, and not have to worry about him bringing alien hookers to the house" - "Pardon?" - "to the house for a little bit."
"Yeah, but- but what if the federation comes back?" Morty argues, "O- or any of the hundred other enemies he's made! And he's stuck like that."
Rick jumps at the hand pointing his way, and all the eyes on him. He waves hesitantly.
"He wouldn't last a second." Summer sighs, crossing her arms.
Rick pouts.
"Fair point." Beth relents, "But how are we going to put him back to normal in the first place? The only one who knows how to do the science shit to fix Dad is Dad."
Rick pulls the broken memory gun from his pocket and squints at it. There are alien parts (maybe literally alien) that he can't recognise, but a few components look somewhat similar to odd machines he'd built.
"I could give it a try." Rick shrugs, "I'm a pretty smart guy, sweetie."
"No offence little Grandpa, but I know more than you." Summer tilts her head to the side and grabbing the gun, "Grandpa Rick's been teaching me robotics shit on the side. He says I'm a quick learner."
Summer preens while Morty scowls and crosses his arms unhappily at the comment. Rick puts a hand on his shoulder and pats it reassuringly.
"I trust you, kiddo." Rick smiles at her, "You should take a crack at it while Morty and I can go ask your Grandmother for help. There's no way old me hasn't taut her nothing. She loves to listen to me ramble at the dinner table. Plus I'm sure she'll get a good laugh at seeing me like this again."
Rick grins with mirth, squeezing Morty's shoulder twice before dropping his hand. He waits for someone to speak, but no-one does, and when he glances around, the entire garage feels as cold as ice. It's like everyone has frozen solid, not even blinking.
"What?" Rick asks hesitantly, "Something I said?"
Morty shakes out of it first, awkwardly laughing.
"Haha: no no." He pats Rick's arm a bit too hard, "I- it's just weird hearing you so, uh, jolly pal. O- old you would've insulted all of us at least twenty times before saying we c- could do anything better than you c- could."
"Yeah. I- it's, like, so totally weird that you just said that." Summer nods, glaring at Morty, "But obviously you wouldn't remember that. Because you're, what, thirty?"
"Twenty seven." Rick corrects hesitantly, "... Is everything okay?"
"Yup! Just weirded out by the lack of old man jade and cynicism." Summer leans against the garage wall, "All cool here, right mom?"
Beth's face is a mess. She just nods, staring at the floor.
Rick has clearly missed something but he can't even begin to name what it is.
"O-kay." He says slowly before inching towards the door, "W- well old me sounds like a dick anyway, haha. Ha. Um. Morty?"
Morty shakes his head and perks up a bit, grabbing Rick's arm and pulling him quickly towards the door.
"Yep! Yep yep, let's go to the kitchen! I've heard re- rearranging your atoms into a younger from really drains you. You must be hungry."
"Yup. Just... ravenous." He agrees awkwardly, glad to be leaving the random tension of the garage.
Before he's fully out of listening range he hears Beth heave a shaky sigh.
"Fix that as quickly as you can." She mumbles, "I'll call Space me."