Chapter Text
Beep. Beep. Beep.
“Hey. Dumbass.”
“What do you want?”
“That’s no way to greet me after a year.”
“Neither is ‘hey, dumbass’ but you don’t see me complaining.”
“Touche.”
Jared smirked, shoving his hands in his pockets. Evan sighed and looked around. It didn’t look like anything in particular. He knew there had to be something there with them, but he couldn’t actually see anything.
“...So we’re stuck here? Indefinitely?” Evan asks.
Jared laughs. Like, full-on laughs. “Absolutely not.”
“The hell’s that supposed to mean?”
“I am. You’re not.” Jared says, taking in Evan’s confused expression. “You’re not dead, Evan.”
Evan’s heart sinks.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
“Great.” he rolls his eyes. “Not only did I fuck up trying to die, I did it twice.”
“Actually, you didn’t fuck up. You easily could’ve died had you been out there any longer than you were.” Jared says. “If your friends hadn’t cared so much that they went looking for you. And come to get you.”
“What? They… actually tried to find me?” Evan asked.
Jared nodded. “Connor was the ringleader- not sure how surprising that’d be to you. I’m glad you closed your eyes out there, because Connor’s face when he saw you…” Jared wiped his mouth and sighed. “There’s a reason I did it at home. Where people I didn’t care about would find me.”
Evan stepped forward and hugged Jared. Jared hugged back. It was empty, like neither of them actually existed, but it was something.
They talked.
“Jared.”
“Yes?”
“Do you…”
“Regret it?”
Evan stopped dead, and looked at his friend. Jared smirked and nodded his head. “I don’t think I’d know how to answer that. But I gotta ask… how were you so calm when you saw me? I was half expecting you to punch me the second you saw me.”
Evan takes a deep breath. “I guess… I got over being angry. I’m not bitter anymore. I mean, I tried too. So it’s not like… I don’t understand why you did it. I just wish you’d talked to us.”
“Well, I’m talking to you now.”
“But it’s too late now, Jared.”
“But it’s not.” Jared said. “For you. Evan, I don’t want to see you back here. You have to keep the others level for me. Stay safe. Take care of yourself like I didn’t. This is sappy as hell, I know, but it needs to be said. If I have to see you again before you’re old as shit, I’m bitchslapping you into the next layer of the beyond realm.” he nudges Evan on the arm.
Evan laughs and nods solemnly. “We miss you.”
“I miss you guys too.” Jared smirks. “And Evan? Next time you and Connor go at it, don’t do it on Connor’s bed. It disturbs my own.” he shudders and Evan facepalms.
“Jared!”
///
Beep. Beep. Beep.
“I can’t take it with this fucking noise!”
“What, would you rather it stop?”
“No- just- I can’t take this anymore. Is he gonna be alright?”
“That’s what the doctor said. They won’t take any chances. He’ll be alright, Connor.”
Evan blinks. The cold light of the hospital seeps into view and he shuts them quickly, letting out a small whine.
“He’s awake!”
“Not so loud Connor.”
“Sorry.”
When Evan’s eyes have adjusted, he opens them slowly to see Zoe, Connor, and Alana sitting around him. They all look like hell, but Evan figures he must look worse. None of them speak. They all look like they’ve been crying.
“How long was I out?” Evan asks, his throat croaky.
“About a day. We found you yesterday afternoon. It's four o'clock now.” Zoe murmurs. Connor leans forward and extends a hand out to Evan. Evan takes the hand and actually pulls Connor in, hugging him tight. Connor feels tears coming out of his eyes as Evan starts to cry as well.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Evan cries, blubbering.
“Shh, shh…” Connor holds Evan tighter and tries to quiet him, letting him cry.
It takes a minute for Evan to calm down. He sits back and lets Connor sit, but doesn’t let go of his hand, gripping it tightly. He also moves to grasp Alana’s hand with his other.
It strange. He didn’t let anyone touch him for two days after his first attempt.
Did his dream about Jared…?
He swallowed quickly.
“Evan… what were you thinking?” Zoe says, voice cracking. She’s sleep deprived. Her eyes are icy.
“I’m so sorry.” Evan chokes back a sob. “I didn’t want to burden anyone anymore. I had nothing left. But I-I changed my mind. I don’t want to leave you guys. Jared said I didn’t-”
“Jared?” Alana interrupted.
Evan shook his head. “Nevermind. I had a dream. But I-I don't want to leave you. I want to stay. With you guys, a-and-”
“Evan?”
Four heads turned around as a very exhausted looking Heidi Hansen appeared in the door. Connor, Alana, and Zoe nodded and silently filed out of the room, leaving Evan to outstretch his arms and letting Heidi fall into them, hugging him tightly.
“Baby, you’re okay, you’re okay, I was so worried, you’re okay, you’re here…”
She sat in the chair Alana had been previously seated in, taking Evan’s hands and smiling weakly. “What happened?”
“I’m sorry mom, I- I’m so sorry, I love you so much, I- I don’t want to die-”
“You’re not going to die. I’m right here, you’re right here. You’re safe.” she
“I tried to mom. I wanted to- but I couldn’t. Mom, please, I mean it, I’m so sorry-”
“Shh, shh, you’re safe now Evan. That’s what matters.” She wiped tears from his eyes. “One.”
“One.” Evan choked out.
“Two.”
“Two.”
“Three.”
“Three.”
“Four.”
“Four.”
“Five.”
“Five.” Evan took one last shaky breath, eventually evening them out.
///
Alana, Connor, Zoe, and Heidi sat surrounding Evan in the hospital room.
“So… what happens next?” Zoe asks.
“I don’t want to leave school, mom.” Evan pleads.
“I won’t make you. Don’t worry.” Heidi caressed her son’s hair, smoothing it out and squeezing his hand.
“We try. That’s what we do.” Connor leans back.
“Do I have to go to rehab?” Evan asks.
“I think so. Can you try?” Heidi says.
Evan looks at his friends. Their weak smiles and their bright yet exhausted eyes send him a surge of love he’s never felt before. “Yeah. I’m gonna try.”
Alana and Zoe stand up and stand next to Connor and Heidi on either side of the bed, so they can lean in and hug Evan. It turns into a large group hug until Evan whimpers and they pull back.
“I hate being in the hospital. I always have to learn to walk again.” Evan whines.
“And you have to wear those horrible gowns.” Alana teases.
“I’ll bet Connor likes them. Wait til we all leave, he’ll get it off of him soon enough.” Zoe jokes, then looks over at Heidi and goes just as red as Evan.
“Well, as long as you’re not bothering other patients. And using protection.” Heidi says nonchalantly. Evan buries his face into the pillow.
“Good God, I can’t believe this is happening.” He says, the pillow muffling him.
Heidi drove three hours to be with Evan so she says the other three can go back to the school and sleep, but no one really wants to. Evan doesn’t want them to. They all sleep on chairs and every so often someone will wake up and look around at the situation they’d gotten themselves into.
And eventually, in the coming months, that bradford pear in the back woods of Hughes will become a memorial. That only four people know of. It doesn’t say his name anywhere, but there’s a 3D printed scale model of the tree next to it and a good number of things surrounding it.
Smiles become brighter than they ever dreamed was humanly possible. And while they weren’t picture perfect, there were four- five, really, rambunctious teenagers dancing around a tree at two in the morning, or singing too loudly for the DAs to be happy, or kissing or hugging or going downtown to watch dance concerts and Rocky Horror shadowcasts. Celebrating sixteenth/seveteenth/eighteenth birthdays on a mountain. Counting down the days until graduation.
Things weren't perfect. There were some relapses. Some nightmares. Struggles. But things seemed good. And that support they tried to have for each other through everything was really what might've kept them afloat.