Chapter Text
Xie Lian drifted for a while, and it was quiet. Peaceful. Even though the darkness scared him a little and reminded him of another time he was in a dark place without any way of getting out, a distant part of himself could tell that he was laying on his side instead of on his back, which put him at ease. The rest of him floated, because no matter how much Xie Lian tried to wake himself up, he found himself sinking deeper and faster into the darkness.
So he stopped fighting it for now and endured the silence. He thought he dreamed of a smiling mask and a gentle, reverent hand holding his own. At some point, he believed that he saw a flash of silver and heard a voice calling, “Dianxia, Dianxia,” over and over again, but Xie Lian couldn’t see past the darkness surrounding him. Ruoye wasn’t with him either, but that was more of a relief than anything, because it meant that this must be a dream. Dreams were easy after all, and weren’t nearly as painful as what he might experience in the waking world. Dreams were safe.
“Dianxia...” the voice called.
“Hello? Is someone there?” Xie Lian called back, but there was no response.
After waiting for some time, he started to walk, because he had never been one to be idle and it wasn't like there was much else he could do at this point. But, to his surprise, the darkness around him started to lift like the morning fog burning off under the afternoon sun. When it finally disappeared, Xie Lian found himself staring up at a starry night sky filled with twinkling lights and the moon —full and round like a rice cake. And there was a packed dirt road beneath his feet that led into the woods ahead of him.
He walked along the path until he reached the canopy of trees and looked up at their gnarled and twisted branches, fascinated by the warped shapes they made after long years of being ruthlessly buffeted by intense winds. But the trees were beautiful all the same, flowering with crimson red blossoms that looked nearly black under the moonlight.
Transfixed by the sight, Xie Lian stared up at them for a long time until he heard something like small bells chiming together and realized that he was no longer alone. There was a familiar figure who stood next to him, wearing the same red robes as before. Now that Xie Lian was no longer on the verge of passing out, he saw now that it was a tall man wearing a large silver necklace with butterflies ornaments hanging from it. Long black hair spilled across broad shoulders, with a single braid tied with a red pearl. He was also wearing silver vambraces covered in butterflies and flowers, along with the same black boots from earlier, leading to long fine legs, the ornaments on those silver chains ringing against each other as he moved to Xie Lian’s side. But the darkness hid the other man’s face, which Xie Lian found disappointing. After all, he wanted to know— Had to make sure—
“Are you—” Are you Wu Ming? Xie Lian wanted to ask, but he hesitated out of fear of being wrong. He swallowed hard and tried again. “Are you really him?”
“Do I remind gege of someone?” the man asked, and what little hope Xie Lian still had immediately crumbled like dust under his feet.
How foolish he was to believe that this stranger could be his Wu Ming. He was much broader and taller than Wu Ming was, for one thing, and his voice was much deeper, for another. Even though it still sounded like Wu Ming if Xie Lian concentrated hard enough, that might just be wishful thinking on his part. Not to mention, when he relived those painful memories when he was so angry and so cruel, —the truth was— he knew that Wu Ming had never called him gege and, more importantly, had been dispersed because of Xie Lian’s mistakes. No matter how much Xie Lian wanted to believe otherwise, Wu Ming was gone. His last believer was gone, and it was all his fault.
“No. Nevermind,” Xie Lian said quietly and buried his disappointment deep inside himself. “It’s nothing. I’m... all out of sorts at the moment, I’m afraid.”
“This one understands. Gege has been through quite an ordeal,” the man said and held out his hand. His fingers were long and slender, like that of an artisan. There was a red thread tied around his middle finger, vibrant even in the darkness. “Then shall we?”
Was—was he expecting Xie Lian to take his hand? It felt strangely intimate, like a bride being led from her bridal sedan and into her groom’s waiting arms. For some reason, that mental picture made Xie Lian’s cheeks turn red. “Ah, there’s no need for that. Really,” he muttered.
But the man continued to wait expectantly, hand still outstretched, and what else was Xie Lian supposed to do? Once his face no longer felt hot, he placed his hand on the man’s palm and startled when those warm fingers curled around his own. They looked so pale and delicate, but they were strong and sure as they cradled his. Xie Lian could feel callouses on that palm from handling a sword and wondered what this man was capable of. Would he agree to a spar later?
What a strange dream this is, Xie Lian thought as the man led him down the road with the moonlight shining on them from above and red blossoms raining down over their heads. All of this felt more and more like a marriage procession.
Suddenly Xie Lian felt lightheaded, and partially wanting to test the man, Xie Lian stumbled over his own feet, but the man caught him before he could fall. Well, it would be more accurate to say that the man stepped into his space and, with his free arm, caught Xie Lian around the waist. The blush from before returned and he shifted against a strong chest, yet he had been carefully maneuvered so that he wouldn't lean uncomfortably against the necklace and the vambrace pressed into his back. Both were cold, but the body underneath wasn’t.
Like it hadn’t been a moment ago, until it suddenly needed to be.
“Are you alright?” the man asked, and there was a note of something in his tone. With anyone else, Xie Lian would call it uncertainty, or even worry, but why would a complete stranger show so much concern for him like this? Did they know each other?
“Yes, thank you,” Xie Lian said. He paused and took a careful step out of the man’s hold, who immediately let him go without protest, which Xie Lian was very grateful for. The last thing he wanted was to seriously fight the man if he didn’t have to. He tried to look up at the man’s face, still shrouded under a veil of darkness, and glanced again at the butterfly necklace.
Silver—
Butterflies—
The nameless temple in a city of ghosts—
Xie Lian thought about lying helpless on the temple steps and the wave of power that washed over him. Stronger than a martial god, and more powerful than any wrath he had encountered before. Oh, he knew exactly who this was, and struggled with his words for a moment. “May I ask a question, my lord?”
“There’s no need for gege to be so formal with this one,” the man replied, which Xie Lian supposed was as good of an answer as any.
“Then... out of curiosity, is there a reason why we are meeting in this way and not while we are both awake?” he asked.
The man —or ghost, Xie Lian thought it was safe to assume— paused. It was borderline shifty, and perhaps a more suspicious person might warrant a little more apprehension than he was currently feeling, but Xie Lian was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, worse things have happened to him and if the ghost really wanted or needed a reason to hurt him, then he would have already done so.
“Gege has been asleep for quite some time,” the lord of Ghost City said at last. “The hornets that stung you have a particularly potent venom, which can cause hallucinations or induce a dream-like state that many struggle to wake from easily.”
That was... not very ideal. Hm. Well, so long as he wasn't dead yet, this wasn’t the most terrible situation to be in. Some might even call it a step up! “Is there a way for me to wake up then?” he asked.
The man nodded and pointed to the dark woods ahead of them. “I can travel between dreams," he explained. "So if you agree to follow me to the end of that road, I can guide you out to the waking world.”
So that was why Xie Lian was being led like a bride. It started to make a little more sense. As embarrassing as this scenario was, this man was clearly trying to help him so Xie Lian smiled and moved to bow. “Then please take care of me,” he said.
To his surprise, the man caught him by the elbows and forced him to stop halfway. “Gege, there’s no need for that,” he said seriously. “It would be my honor.”
“Then can I ask what I should call you?” Xie Lian asked. That seems like a fair trade to him. A name for a name. “My family name is Xie and my given name is Lian.”
The man seemed to struggle to collect himself for some reason, before he finally said, “Then I ask that gege call me San Lang.”
“San Lang,” Xie Lian repeated. Just saying the name filled his chest with warmth. It was very charming and rolled off the tongue easily. The third son.
Filled with a boldness he hadn’t experienced in centuries, Xie Lian linked his arm through the man’s and looked up at him. Since they were already playing the roles of a bride and groom, then he may as well enjoy it while it lasted. It wasn't like he was going to ever experience getting married otherwise, after all.
It was only when the arm under his tensed for a moment that Xie Lian realized that he might have gone too far, but before he could pull back or apologize, San Lang laughed —less like a chuckle, and more like a faint huff of laughter. It was a very nice laugh. Then a hand was placed over the one Xie Lian had on San Lang’s arm as the man murmured, “Then let’s go, gege.”
So they walked. They walked and walked until the warm and pleasant feeling that started out in Xie Lian’s chest grew until it started to burn, but not in a way that he liked. Each step became more and more difficult as sharp pain shot up through his legs. It was a sure sign that his real body must be —unsurprisingly— in quite a state. Xie Lian tried to remember what he knew about hornets and what their venom was capable of: something about meridian
damage? Or was it organ failure?
“Gege?”
Xie Lian looked up at San Lang, who he knew was worried, even without being able to fully see his face. “Hm?”
“Would you like to take a moment to rest?” San Lang asked.
It was only at that moment did it occur to Xie Lian then that he was sweating profusely and gritting his teeth so hard that it was giving him a headache. Still, he shook his head and loosened his mouth to say, “If we stop now, then I might not be able to get to the end.”
His confession seemed to upset San Lang, judging by the tension in his shoulders. “Just a little further then,” he said at last.
“En.” Xie Lian let him lead, trying desperately to think about anything else but the pain.
“Don’t force yourself to endure quietly. We’re the only ones here, so cry out if you need to,” San Lang said.
But you’ll be able to hear it, Xie Lian thought and stubbornly remained silent. There were times when even a person like him wanted to save a little face in front of someone who had only shown him kindness so far.
Finally, after bearing with the pain for a long time, they finally reached a large wooden gate. It was crimson red, just like San Lang. Just like the blossoms on the winding trees above them. But now that they finally reached their destination, Xie Lian hesitated. Some of the apprehension he suddenly felt must show on his face, because San Lang gave his hand a gentle squeeze.
“Gege,” he said, “There’s no need to be afraid. I’m right here with you.”
“I know,” Xie Lian replied, and he did. It was the only reason why he didn’t try to break free or run, no matter how much he wanted to. The truth was, he wanted to trust San Lang. He wanted to trust him so desperately, even if San Lang ended up betraying him later.
Because no matter how strong or brave he tried to be on the outside, Xie Lian had always been needy and selfish. And, when he was being completely and truly honest with himself, he could admit: he was so incredibly lonely. That was the reason why he allowed San Lang to pull him through the red gate and woke, blinking his eyes open to a blurry sea of red.
Once his eyes adjusted, Xie Lian noticed a red canopy, red curtains, and even red blankets. The only other color in the whole room seemed to be the white of his sleeping robe and Ruoye, who wound around his arm and nuzzled his cheek like a needy cat. In fact, there seemed to be no sign of the clothes he was wearing after leaving the last village anywhere.
But at least there was a familiar hand holding onto his, and when Xie Lian looked up, he received a sweet smile from a very handsome face. Very, very handsome. Those defined cheekbones and elegant nose, and even the sleek black eyepatch completely took his breath away.
“San Lang,” Xie Lian managed to say, despite how raspy his voice sounded.
No one had any right to be so handsome, and he wanted to demand why San Lang was keeping it hidden from him earlier, but the words were quickly forgotten when the other man said warmly, “Good morning, gege.”
Xie Lian tried to sit up, but San Lang steadied him with an arm braced under his shoulders while Ruoye fluttered anxiously around them. Xie Lian blinked when he caught sight of a handful of red petals still in San Lang’s dark hair and picked one out, gently smoothing it between his fingers. It was so soft.
San Lang cleared his throat. “Gege, you should rest more. Your injuries...”
What injuries? Xie Lian wondered, but then realized —oh, those injuries! Because when he looked down at himself, nearly his entire body was covered in bandages. He even reached up and touched his temple to find that yup, his head was also bandaged.
San Lang watched him assess his wrappings for a moment, before saying, “You had a concussion and your right ankle was broken. You also had three cracked ribs, scratches and hornet stings all over your body, and a scraped elbow. I was able to give you spiritual power to help with your recovery, but you’ve been sleeping for the past five days.” Quietly, he added, “You wouldn’t wake up.”
“Oh,” was all Xie Lian can think to reply with before he shifted uneasily. Their faces were like, really close together. “Um. Thank you for taking care of my injuries and helping me out of the dream, San Lang. I won’t impose on your generosity anymore and—”
He cut himself off with a cough, throat suddenly feeling dry, but before he could say anything, San Lang carefully propped him up on the pillows and went to fetch him some water. He poured it in a porcelain cup that was finer than anything Xie Lian had held for decades. He was almost nervous to reach a hand for it, but San Lang surprised him by gently holding the cup against his lips.
We’re not actually married, are we?! Xie Lian almost blurted out, like an idiot, but managed to bite it back. No, no, they couldn’t be. All wishful thinking aside, even if they were somehow married to each other, surely San Lang would have mentioned something so important and significant beforehand.
Besides, who would want to marry a humble trash collector, especially someone as distinguished as the lord of Ghost City? Thinking about it in that way, he sighed in relief because crisis averted. Except, wait! Not averted, because San
Lang was still waiting patiently with the cup against his lips. And this time, Xie Lian didn’t have the shadows in the dreamworld to protect him from the lethal power of San Lang’s attractive face either.
Blushing like a freshly plucked peach, pink and ripe, Xie Lian opened his mouth and allowed San Lang to help him drink. As soon as the cool water was swallowed down, Xie Lian was extremely thirsty all of a sudden. With the hand not holding the crimson petal, Xie Lian touched the back of San Lang’s hand with shaking fingers, silently urging him to give him more, but San Lang resisted.
“No. Drink it slowly, gege. That’s it. Slowly now.”
And there wasn't much else Xie Lian could do but listen to that deep voice’s coaxing, telling him not to hurt himself by drinking too fast. However, his skin felt hot and clammy, and without thinking, he clutched at San Lang’s hand holding the cup. Xie Lian felt it jerk under his hand and the cup tilted slightly, causing a wayward drop to trail over his chin and down his neck. San Lang pulled back the cup, a little too fast to be natural, mouth parted with… horror? Or something else.
“Sorry,” Xie Lian said with a wince. But suddenly a thought occurred to him; he felt the water right on his skin and not the bandages he usually kept around his neck. They were probably ripped and discarded like the rest of his torn clothes. Which... speaking of...
Horrified, Xie Lian slapped a hand over the cursed shackle, even though the damage was already done. There was no doubt that San Lang had clearly seen it before now, and knowing who he was and what he was capable of, he must know what it meant. What Xie Lian really was.
But when he glanced his way, San Lang just gazed back at him, without any hint of judgment to be seen. San Lang’s eye was a deep auburn, framed by long delicate lashes and dark curved brows, the sight of which took his breath away. Xie Lian watched as that eye roamed over his face, as if coveting a precious treasure, and then down to what was unmistakably his lips.
They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity before they looked away at the same time. San Lang pulled the cup away and stood up, then said in a light, airy tone, “Let me bring you something to eat, gege.”
Xie Lian decided not to point out the large tray of food already laid out on the ornate table behind him. It was obvious that San Lang needed a moment and Xie Lian felt the same way.
Just being in the other man’s presence was making him feel strange, awakening feelings that he never felt before and wanting things he never wanted before. It was a little overwhelming, and that frightened him more than he was willing to admit, even to himself.
“I’ll be right back,” San Lang promised, as solemnly as swearing an oath, and it was so earnest that Xie Lian couldn't help smiling in response.
“I’ll be here,” he said softly.
San Lang nodded and left the room, closing the doors carefully behind him. Every movement was smooth and without urgency, but Xie Lian still got the sense that San Lang was fleeing in the most strategic way possible, so as not to look like he was fleeing.
The moment that he was alone, Xie Lian sank down into the pillows and covered his burning face with his free hand, fighting the urge to scream. He felt Ruoye nudging his hands and wrists curiously, until he peeked out at the little red petal still clutched between his fingers. His face pulled strangely in a way he wasn't used to, before realizing that he was grinning like an absolute fool, unable to help himself.
Ah. He had never felt more mortified or so happy in his entire life!