Chapter Text
Parker's eyes fluttered open, greeting her with the dingy wooden roof and seemingly stone walls. She sat up, suddenly feeling the coldness of the night air piercing her bare skin. Instinctively, her arms wrapped around her chest. Keeping her just a little warmer, and slightly easing just how exposed she felt.
She looked to her side and saw the steps leading upwards, and saw no bell near her. She pulled her knees up, curling herself into a ball as she started shaking. She had lost herself completely, felt herself crack open as she hit rock bottom. Now here she was, alone, without even a name to call her own.
She needed to get home. She needed to crawl out of this pit. She steadied her breathing, tilting her head upwards as she opened up her body, standing up. She walked up the stairs in her boxers, dreading her journey home. With no web shooters, she opted to ride a train as far home as she could, and jump the rest of the way.
She crawled into her window with complete muscle memory, dropping from the roof in the centre of the room. She looked around, at her bed, the door, and her dusty workbench. She had been so preoccupied with her responsibility in the- god. How long had it been? Her calendar hadn’t been changed since April. She glanced at her computer- September.
Parker lost her balance, falling back as her legs hit the bed. She sat there for what felt like an hour, having her dissociation broken only by a strong breeze, forcing her closet just a tad more open. She closed her eyes, shaking her head. She had to put that suit back on. Spider-Man.
Her whole body shivered, and she walked up to shut the closet. Spider-Man had had enough attention these past months. Parker needed some of her own. She brushed all the dust off her workbench and chemical supplies. There was something she could not push aside any longer, and she started synthesizing her own estrogen.
She stuck a Spider-Man themed band aid on her injection site. MJ had gotten them for her as a gag. Pulling up her blue sweats and down the sleeves of her red hoodie, she looked up and was faced with her door. A door she had not opened since she came back from the funeral. She had to face this at some point. She got up, walking over to the door, and turning the knob. Letting it slowly slide open, lacking the strength to push it. Her eyes closed, and she pressed her body through the open doorway.
All the plants were dead, and the small tables they sat in were covered in a coat of dust. She walked down the hall, met with the kitchen and living room. Photos. Photos of her graduation. MJ, Harry- Oh. Oh god. She- She needed to text them. Let them know she was alright. Make sure they were alright. She ran back over to her room, accidentally kicking the bottom of a side table as she did.
Parker swung herself down just as fast as the vase and photo fell, catching everything before it hit the ground. She smiled to herself and recognized the photo she had caught. It was at F.E.A.S.T., with a modest Christmas tree in centre frame. Plenty of people sat in a circle around it, one of them had a guitar. She and May were sitting beside each other, and they were laughing.
A drop fell onto the glass frame, and Parker noticed she was crying. God, how could she not? She missed May, she didn’t know how to exist without her. May always helped her. When you help someone, you help everyone. Parker put the vase down, finding only the strength to sit on the floor as she cried. She needed to help herself. She needed to help everyone. Looking at the photo, tears streaming down her face, she whispered to herself.
“May Parker has the strength.” Slowly, she picked herself up, fumbling through the door to her room. A headache pierced through her, and she dropped the photo. Clutching her head, she squirmed and screamed, falling to the floor near where the photo landed.
Parker- No- May’s eyes shot open. She could practically feel the turning of a key into the front door of the apartment. Her eyes darted from side to side- where was she? The door was opening, she felt herself panicking. She pulled her arms to her face, pulling open this- webbing? Was she?
The cocoon’s opening widened enough for her to slip out of it, thunking her shoulder onto the floor.
“Peter?” MJ. Here? Now? Why- Peter? Her head swiveled around the room, it was covered in webbing, with her cocoon strung up in the corner. She winced as she felt her back shot with pain, and so stiff-
“Peter?!” MJ’s voice called out, “Are you alright?”
“Fine!” May called out, quickly looking for clothes to cover herself in. “Why’re you here? Can I ask?”
MJ pushed on the slightly open door, just as May had become decent. “I’m-” She froze, witnessing the mess of webs that filled the room, her eyes lingering on the cocoon, “worried.” She looked at May, “Are you sure you’re fine?”
May forced out a laugh, “Yeah, whatuhh, what makes you think I’m not?” MJ gave her the look, not an ounce of belief in her.
“There’s a cocoon. Spider-Man is missing. And before he was missing, he was progressively turning into more of a monster.” She took a step forward, placing a hand on May’s shoulder. “Peter, are you okay?”
May shrugged MJ’s hand off her, facing her workbench. It still had the vial she took her injection from on it. “I’m not. Peter. I was- that suit.” Her voice got shaky, MJ took a step to stand behind her, lightly holding her arms. May took a stabilizing breath. “I was already dealing with something I didn't want to accept. And then May-” Her breath hitched, “I fell apart. I fell apart and that suit it- it made me feel like I was put together. I never was.” She giggled, “It was an illusion.”
“And it's gone?” MJ couldn’t hide her worry, she had described it as a monster after all. May nodded.
“Yeah. I-” She took a deep breath, “I’m not- Peter. Anymore.”
“Hm?” Her tone was open, trusting.
“That thing I was struggling with before May- I- I’m not who I thought I was. I’m a girl.” Her gaze darted to the F.E.A.S.T. photo that had fallen, she picked it up to get a better look at it, before placing it on the workbench. “I’m May.”
MJ moved her arms to wrap May in a hug from behind, and May clung to her arms, letting tears fall down her face.
“I’m so proud of you. I’m- I wish I could’ve been there for you.” May shook her head.
“It's not your fault. That suit, it just. I lost myself in it. It-” Her voice was getting shaky.
“Shhhh. It’s okay, May. The suit is gone. I’m here, you are here.” MJ could feel May’s body calm down in her grasp, and she found so much peace in helping someone she was so worried for.
“I uhh- made and took some estrogen.” She motioned at the vial.
“Oh! When was- is that why the-?” She motioned at the webs, and the cocoon. May was suddenly more alert, when was that? Panicked, she turned to face MJ.
“Did you say Spider- I- was missing?”
“For a week. That’s why I’m here. You disappeared.” May looked at the date on her computer- fuck. Fuck. She had been in that cocoon for a week? Why did she even-
“Aren’t spiders matriarchal?” May asked. MJ’s face grew concerned.
“Yeah. Females are bigger, stronger-” Her voice trailed off, looking at the cocoon. “You don’t think?” She looked back at May, who looked just as concerned.
“I don’t- well. I took estrogen and- that’s the first time I’ve done that.” She pointed at the cocoon. MJ was staring at her hand, or no, her wrist?
“What’s that?” She grabbed May’s arm, pulling her wrist closer to her, “I know I haven’t seen you in a while, but that’s new, right?” She held May’s wrist up to May's face, letting her investigate. May shook her head.
“No- that’s new.” MJ let go of May, and May rotated her arm, watching her wrist carefully. “I feel like- Like I can-” She quickly extended her arm out, making the same motion she did with her web shooters.
Web shot straight out from the new slit in her wrist, slamming into the wall with seemingly more power than her old shooters. She looked at MJ, giving a forced, scared laugh.
“Did I evolve?” MJ was still looking at the web that had been shot into the wall, slowly looking back at May, half shrugging.
“Your guess is as good as mine. Are you- is there anything else? Are you feeling alright?” A shot of pain struck May’s back, like she was being pierced with ice picks, she winced.
“Back pains, maybe I’m hitting a growth spurt.” MJ lightly smacked May.
“Hey! This is serious, May. You need to tell me if you’re feeling off. I don’t want you turning into a giant spider. Okay?” May didn’t reply, she didn’t want to force MJ back into something so dangerous, “Okay??” she said it with more venom. Offering May little choice in whether she was looked after. May shook her head, looking away.
“Yeah, I will. Okay. My back hurts. I’m sure it's nothing. It takes a beating, it hurts.”
“Thank you.” MJ lightly tapped May's side, prompting her attention, “Hey, tiger?” May looked at her, happy to see such a caring face with her again.
“Yeah?”
“I feel bad to ruin the moment, but- I didn’t come here for no reason.”
“Iiii know? Spider’s been missing?”
“Yeah, that’s the problem.” She looked down, pulling up something on her phone before she held it up, showing May the latest Daily Bugle headline: MASKED MENACE MISSING!! SINISTER SIX SWEEP STREETS!!!
May’s face dropped. She quickly ran to the closet, getting into her suit as quickly as she could, “Why didn’t you lead with that?” MJ took a step back, aghast at the tone. “I-” May sighed, pausing as she undressed to get into the suit. “I’m sorry. Thank you for coming, I don’t deserve it.” She dropped the suit, closing the distance between the two of them. “What happened to me- What I did- I don’t deserve to have someone like you here. I’m lucky you’re as stubborn as you are.” May looked at MJ, just a few inches taller than her. They were both smiling.
“Oh, the spider you are.” MJ looked away.
“The luckiest spider of all.” May’s face wore a goofy grin, the one MJ had always fallen for.
MJ giggled, pulling May in for a kiss. “What can I say? You hit the jackpot.” She pushed May away playfully, back to the suit. “Now go get them, Spider-Woman.”