Chapter Text
Keith had just kissed him. Why? He didn't have to time process it, as Keith bolted right after an apology? Why had he apologized? He didn't realize that that was exactly what Lance wanted?
"'I-I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean- oh fuck.'" That's what Keith had said. He didn't mean what? The kiss? Did Keith really not like Lance and he just got caught up in the moment? Was this Lance's fault somehow?
Lance looks through the window at where Keith had run from, looking longingly at the apartment. He should go after Keith. He knows he should, but he doesn't. He swears he sees the curtain move, sees a figure sanding by the window, but he might just be imagining things. Turning the key and starting up the car, Lance lets it warm up before pulling out into the street. He tries not to let the tears in his eyes distort his vision. Blinking them away, he turns on the radio at full blast, letting the soothing vocals of Lady Gaga fill his senses.
I'm gonna marry the night
I won't give up on my life
I'm a warrior queen
Live passionately, tonight
He sucks in a breath through his nose, embracing the warmth that comes with the song.
I'm gonna marry the dark
Gonna make love to the stark
I'm a soldier to my
Own emptiness, I'm a winner
When the chorus comes on, he hums along, not singing as enthusiastically as he would usually. He peers into the mirror, willing away the blotchy red marks on his face. He can't go home like this. A McDonald's sign lights up the road ahead, and Lance pulls into the drive through. After getting his order of a large fries and a large vanilla milkshake, he parks in the lot and takes out his phone.
He looks at his chat with Keith, then picks the one right below it. Keith's was at the top. The talk a lot now, don't they. Whether it's over stupid little things or daily reminders, they find an excuse to talk to each other. Lance briefly wonders if Keith will ever text him again. Swallowing down the nausea he presses call on Hunk's contact. He picks up on the second ring.
"Hey, bud! What's up?"
"Uh..." Lance sniffles into the phone. He didn't really think about what he was going to say, but Hunk immediately notices something's wrong.
"What's wrong, Lance?"
"It's- It's Keith." Lance hears Hunk suck in a breath.
"Yeah? You wanna explain?" Lance lets it all spill out of it, everything that had happened that night.
"I thought it was going so well, Hunk. It was going so well." Hunk makes a noise of sympathy.
"God I fucked up, Hunk. I should have gone after him." Hunk hums, a contemplative sound.
"It wasn't your fault. I'm sure he was just scared. You know how he is." Lance scoffs and stuffs a handful of fries in his mouth.
"Emotionally constipated?" Hunk laughs softly.
"I was going to put it into nicer terms, but in essence, yes. He might need a bit of time. Don't let him get away with taking too long, though." Lance smiles. He can always count on Hunk. He's so understanding, knows Lance like the back of his hands.
"I won't. Thanks Hunk, I feel a lot better now."
"You okay if I go now? Or should I stay a bit longer?"
"Nah, I'll be fine. Thanks again." Hunk really is the best friend.
"Anytime, buddy." Lance hangs up, finishing the last of his fries and shake. It's time to head home.
Of course when he gets there his brother is waiting for him. Daniel stands near his room, arms crossed expectantly. He smirks when Lance appears at the top of the stairs.
"Daniel. I'm not in the mood." While Lance is more stable now, he is very drained and wants nothing more than to collapse on his bed and sleep for a century. When Daniel sees his slumped demeanor, his expression falls.
"What's wrong? Did he break your heart? Should I beat him up?" Lance shakes his head. He feels compelled to tell his older brother, so he quickly explains what had taken place. Lance feels his chest squeeze again, but he takes a breath and focuses on the floor.
"Oh, hermanito." Daniel pulls Lance into a hug, and Lance doesn't protest.
"It-It's fine." It's not, and Lance knows it. So does Daniel.
"No it's not. But I've met him, Lance. He seems like a good guy, not an asshole like most others. I'm not saying you shouldn't be upset, he did make a dick move, but you should give him time. Or chase after him. Don't let this one get away." Daniel was right.
The assured way he spoke makes something stir in Lance's heart. He won't give up yet. He might not fix it right away, but when he gets the chance he will.
The next morning doesn't make anything better. He's tired, but has class in an hour. He has to force himself to get out of bed, getting ready just in time to make it to class. Hunk casts him a worried glance when he slips into the rooms but Lance ignores it, trying to pay attention to the prof's boring lecture.
He can't pay attention. The entire week, he can't do it. The weekend rolls around and guilt washes over him in new, but he still doesn't text Keith. He doesn't receive any texts, either. It eats away at him, but he isn't sure what to do.
Weeks pass like this. Three weeks, to be exact. Lance is falling apart slowly, each day without a text making him grow more anxious.
On the Saturday of the third week, Lance visits the cafe. Walking through the door, he finds himself subconsciously looking around for a familiar mullet. A sigh comes from behind him.
"He isn't here." Hunk stares at Lance. "Don't try to deny that you were looking for him."
"I- yeah." Lance looks down. Without him even asking, Hunk plops a drink and a scone down in front of him. He sips the drink slowly, still looking at the floor.
"The last time I saw you this hung up about someone was with Rolo, all those years back." Lance gives a sorry smile, looking up at Hunk.
"This is different. I really like him, Hunk." Hunk smiles at Lance.
"I know, that's why you can't let him leave."
"Yeah. I just-I don't know what to do. I've never been this serious, Hunk. I don't know what I need to do." Hunk sighs, reaching over across the bar and squeezing Lance's arm.
"You need to talk to him." Lance slumps.
"I thought I would, coming here so often." Hunk sucks in a bit of breath, and Lance notices. "Hunk? Is there something you aren't telling me?"
"Okay, well. He told me not to tell you, but he's actually been coming here when you're in class." Hunk pauses to watch Lance's face. "I think if you want to talk to him, you should come during your science lecture on Monday. But just don't tell him I told you, okay?" Lance actually smiles at that, sitting up just a bit straighter.
"I won't. Thanks Hunk, you're the best. I'm still upset you didn't tell me though."
"Yeah, I'm sorry. Just promise me you'll do the assignments and start actually doing you work." Lance beams at his best friend.
"Of course." Hunk chuckles as Lance noisily slurps up the rest of his sugary drink.
Come Monday, Lance makes good on his promise to do his work, handing in three assignments from the previous week and paying a little more attention than he usually would. He's practically vibrating in his seat, trying to calm his excitement and nerves, which he can't tell the difference between. His stomach is fluttering, he can't sit still.
What if he runs? This time Lance will chase him. And if he didn't mean it? Lance will cry probably, but who knows what after. What will Keith say? Does Lance really want to hear it? He has to, right? Lance can't think straight (hah) with all these questions jumbling together in his mind.
When one o'clock comes around, Lance is sprinting to the cafe. Well, not quite sprinting because no one should have to run, but walking briskly still counts. He arrives at the cafe and stops, not going in right away. Peering through the glass, he spots a mess of recognizable black hair. Lance's breath catches in his throat and he stands there a moment before heading back over to the door.
He pushes open the door ignoring the chimes as he catches Hunk's eye. Hunk turns to look at him fully, smiling a bit too innocently. Keith must have seen his smile, as he turns around to see who it is.
The moment they lock eyes, Lance can see Keith fighting the instinct to flee. Actually, Keith even takes it. He stands up and drops his stuff, rushing past Lance. Lance drops his books as he reaches out just in time to grab Keith's sleeve.
"Lance."
"Keith." It's their first words to each other in almost a month, and Lance's sound way more pleading.
"Lance, let me go." Keith grinds out through clenched teeth, pulling against Lance's firm grasp.
"Not until we talk, pretty boy. You can't keep running." Lance holds tighter.
"Not here, Lance." Lance sighs. So, Keith is going to be difficult about this.
"Fine. Where do you want to go?" Keith huffs.
"You aren't going to give up, are you?" Lance smiles a bit.
"Nope. Not until we talk."
"Okay. Lets-lets go to my place." Lance was taken aback by this. Keith was inviting him over? Wouldn't that make it harder for him to escape? Oh well, it's better than nothing. Keith grabs his stuff, not saying anything more on the subject. Throwing one last glance over his shoulder at Hunk, Lance lets Keith pull him out of the shop.
They get on Red without another word, the silence weighing heavily between them. Lance squeezes Keith tighter as they zip through the streets heading back to the apartment.
"Here." Keith holds open the door to his apartment, and Lance steps inside with a nod of thanks.
Once they are sitting on the couch, Keith breaks the silence.
"So? You wanna talk?" Lance didn't even think about what he was going to say. How does he even start? What should he do? He chews his lip nervously.
"I-I'm sorry." Keith looks surprised, eyebrows pitched high on his forehead.
"Why? Why are you sorry?" Lance doesn't know either. He messed up, right? That's why Keith avoided him, right?
"W-well, I must have done something to make you hate me. I mean, you avoided me for almost a month, so I just thought..." Keith runs a hand through his hair.
"I don't hate you. I thought you for sure hated me. I mean, you didn't text me either." He looks slightly upset as he speaks, and he keeps pushing his dark hair out of his face. Lance ponders his words. It was true, he didn't text Keith when he could have.
"I couldn't ever hate you. I should have texted, you're right, but I don't hate you. I just- I just thought you didn't mean it." He whispers the last part, looking down at his clenched hands.
"Why wouldn't I mean it? I kissed you, for fuck's sake!" Lance jerks his head up, staring at Keith with tear filled eyes.
"You said- you said you didn't mean it." Keith shakes his head.
"I didn't say that."
"Yeah you did! Right before you ran off- which was a dick move by the way- you said you didn't mean to!" Keith just stares at him.
"I said I didn't mean to! I meant it but I didn't mean to blow my cover and kiss you!" Keith says, and then stops. Lance is staring at him, wide eyed and hopeful.
"You-you meant it?"
"Yes, so if you're going to turn me down, just do it already." Keith crosses his arms and looks away.
"Keith, Keithy look at me." Lance pulls Keith so he is looking into his eyes.
"I like you too, okay? Like, really. I really, really like you." Keith lets out a breath.
"But why? I caused you a panic attack, Lance! And-and I can't do anything right, and I'm not good enough to-" Lance claps a hand over Keith's mouth, silencing the rest of his negative words.
"You are going to listen to me, okay? I like you a lot. I like who you are, your stupid hair and gloves, and your face. The panic attack wasn't your fault, I should have told you sooner. You are definitely good enough, better than I could ever be. I like you, okay? It was hell without you the last three weeks."
Keith's eyes are wide now, with tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. Lance slowly removes his hand from Keith's mouth, stroking his cheek with it instead.
"If anything, I should be sorry I'm not good enough." Keith shakes his head, pulling Lance in closer to him.
"No way. I still can't believe someone as amazing as you likes me." Lance hums and smiles.
"About that liking thing, why did you run away? It really hurt, dude." Keith slumps a little.
"I-I'm sorry. I was scared, I thought you wouldn't feel the same, so I ran. I shouldn't have done that, sorry."
"Stupid." Lance drops his head onto Keith's shoulder. Then he realizes what position they are in. In their heated discussion, Lance had all but completely climbed into Keith's lap, and is now straddling him. He blushes a bit, pulling away slightly.
"Um." Keith looks back at Lance, who is awkwardly holding onto his shoulders.
"What?" Keith looks as if he's waiting for something. Lance blushes more, and hopes that they're on the same page.
"C-can we kiss?" Lance looks endearingly red, and Keith chuckles.
"I didn't think you'd be the embarrassed type." Lance just blushes harder at Keith's teasing tone, and hides his head in his hands. Keith reaches up and pulls them away from his face, instead cupping it with his own hands.
Keith leans forwards quickly, tilting his head to slot his lips against Lance's. He feels more than hears Lance make a noise of surprise, and Keith grins into the kiss. Lance pushes back into the kiss, letting the warm feeling fill him up before pulling away.
They look at each other and smile.
"Hey, I know I can't completely fix everything, but can I try? I want to help you, Lance." Lance's smile turns watery with the tears building up in his eyes.
"Heh, are you asking me out?" Lance smirks. Keith drops his head onto Lance's chest, butting against it gently.
"I was trying to be sincere, you ass." Lance laughs, then runs a hand through Keith's hair.
"I know. I would love to go out with you. We both have our problems, but hey, maybe we'll be stronger together." Keith takes Lance's hand in his and kisses his knuckles. It's a gentle move, one that makes Lance melt. In turn, he presses a kiss to the top of Keith's head.
"We'll figure it out." Keith nods. It's only a few words, but it's a promise. One that they both intend to keep.
And they do.
Four Years Later
"Babe." Keith shakes his husband awake.
"Keeeeith, it's too early." Keith huffs and pokes Lance again.
"There's something I wanna tell you." Keith feels Lance stiffen, and in an attempt to reassure him it's nothing bad, he rubs soft circles into his back.
"Okay...?" Lance sounds hesitant, so Keith continues quickly.
"You know how we went to that old aquarium? Back when we were younger?" Keith starts slow, trying to keep what he's talking about a surprise.
"Yeah? What about it?" Lance rolls over to face Keith.
"Well, there's a new place in town, a new aquarium." Lance's eyes light up. "I know it's not the one you grew up with and it won't be able to replace it, but I've done a lot of research and it seems like a really good place! They seem to treat the animals well, and they have a catch and release program!"
Lance doesn't waste anytime in pulling Keith into a huge hug. He places a chaste kiss on his lips, smiling dumbly up at Keith.
"It's great. It doesn't have to replace the old one, we can make new memories with this one. When does it open?" Keith smiles sheepishly.
"Actually, the first opening day is today." Lance beams, tackling Keith again for another hug.
"Wait, really?! Can we go?" Keith smiles cheekily.
"I might have already bought us VIP tickets..." Lance smiles at Keith, this time tears streaming down his cheeks. Surprised with the sudden emotion, Keith panics.
"I'm sorry! Did I do something wrong?"
"No! I-I'm just really happy." Keith breathes a sigh of relief.
"Oh, thank God."
"I love you so, so much." It's almost routine to say it now, but every time they do, Keith feels his chest stir.
"I love you too."