Chapter Text
My alarm went off at the usual time of 6am. As usual, I hit the snooze button until the clock read 8am. Even though I don't have to eat, something in me drives me to eventually get up anyway and at least make a pot of coffee. The pot sits there, judging me, watching as I empty its contents into two mugs. I down mine like it's a shot glass and head into the living room to re-read my books. I think I could recite them from memory at this point, but I refuse to go into the city to get any new ones, and I refuse to steal one from the park.
Ah yes, the park... I haven't been there as much as I used to. Not during daylight hours anyway. Sometimes when I can't sleep at night, I sneak onto the playground and just kick my legs on that weird seat thingy. I believe a child had called it a "swing set" once. Yes, I swing on the swings at midnight. I was wrong about flying being better than a "swing set." There's a certain charm to it that is calm and... nostalgic? How can I have nostalgia for a life I never lived? A question for the creators, I suppose...
I'm still sitting on the couch, dreaming of a life I never lived.
Right...
I get up and head to the garden in the backyard. Gardens are such finicky things... it was doing well enough, I was growing some nice flowers and even vegetables, but then I had a bad week and now they're all dead.
"Only you could kill perfectly happy plants in less than a week!"
I can't imagine who would say such a thing.
It's not important.
I don't care what they think.
The garden is a bust, and I can't save them, even if I probably could if I really tried. I can't save them. So I see if my bird friends have returned. An hour and a half of hiking through the woods leaves my search empty. They haven't come back in years. I've scared them all away after... It's time for lunch.
I remember why I didn't bother with making toast this morning. Certainly not because of my mood, but because we have no bread... Or anything in this house really. I never realized how quickly groceries could go, even if you don't eat that much. I'll have to go into the city after all. I can't have my morning ruined by a lack of toast.
Perhaps today is a good day.
Perhaps today I'll go to the park and stick watch again. I've missed seeing the tall stick and his child. I haven't seen them in a few years, even when I was still visiting the playground. The other sticks are doing the same things they did, but something about this tall stick tells me I'd like him most of all. I've been thinking too long about things I'll never have; it's time I at least go do what I set out to do.
I arrived at the park, watching and waiting until the right time to go into the store to grab a loaf of bread. I hope they still have the brand I like... The tall stick is back now, though I don't know how long he's been back since I haven't been around either. There's a new kid with him now. I don't know why the other kid isn't with him anymore, but he seems happy. I get the feeling I'll never see that golden yellow sunshine child ever again, but this new one feels... good. The tall stick seems... happy? This new stick calls him "Dad."
Did... he get a new kid? Is he... happy about it? Can I get a new brother? Can I be... I need to get bread, right. An important food group.
I've managed to come into this convenience store for the past five years or so, quietly take my loaf of bread, and leave without much trouble. I don't think they care very much, or perhaps they haven't noticed; either way, I'd rather not speak to anyone anyway. Too many questions, too much like... I should just get the bread and head home- wait, they don't have the brand I like... That's... not a problem. I can... uh... try to find it in another store. But not today. I've been out too long for one day. So I head back home.
The coffee mug remains untouched. That's fine. I bring it to a closed door I haven't opened in nearly five years, and I won't open it today either. No sound comes from behind it; no one is busy in there, but I don't disturb them anyway. I leave the coffee mug there. We're out of cream and sugar.
The day drags on too long. The day is too long. I didn't even think to raid the corn dog stand for dinner... Those corn dogs are criminally overpriced; stealing them is perfectly morally acceptable... I think... What would I know about morals?
The stars are finally out. I don't feel like sleeping tonight, and I can live without it. The playground is always lit. It's never dark there... I sit alone on the swing set, but I don't swing. I don't deserve to fly... maybe today is a bad day after all. Maybe I'm not okay. Maybe I wish things would stop changing. Maybe I wish he'd changed better... That's in the past, and today is today.
Tomorrow is just another day.
Tomorrow I won't get recognized in the new store and be chased around the city.
Tomorrow I won't get kidnapped and tortured by a stick who looks a lot like me.
Tomorrow I won't become No One...
Tomorrow will be another day...
without Dark...