Chapter Text
John signed against the wall disbelievingly, shut out again. And that's when it hit him, this wasn't going to work. Alex couldn't trust him, alex saw him and only saw the affair.
"Dad?" Frances' voice startled john out of his thoughts.
"Hey kid." John replied glancing towards her.
"Dad? What's going on?"
John shook his head slightly; there was no way he was breaking Alex's trust again by telling Frances about her dad's panic attacks. "Frances, you know this isn't going to be easy right?"
"Dad, I know." She sighed.
"Frances, I don't want you to get hurt any more than you are. And I don't know what your father is going to say or do through all of this but I need you to be real. This might not work out."
"Dad?" Her voice cracked.
"Frances. He kicked me out this morning." He looked down at his feet. "I don't know if he'll let me back."
She stared at him. "You're just gonna give up?" Her eyes glaring into his, "god, I can't believe this."
"Frances, I know you don't understand, but I can't push him."
"You can't just stand there dad!" She practically yelled. "He had a panic attack and you're willing to leave him for that?"
His eyes began to fill up with silent tears, "Frances,"
"No dad. Do something." With that she turned on heel and left angrily, stomping downstairs. "I'm going out with Angie." He heard the car door shut and her driving away.
Looking back towards the bedroom door he took a deep breath and knocked, "alex?"
The door opened and alex stood there looking scared.
"Alex, I wasn't with him last night. I swear. I was here, right outside the door."
Alex shifted uncomfortably, "I know." He murmured without looking up.
"You knew?" John's voice came out louder than he intended and alex winced back into the room.
"I'm sorry." Alex whispered.
"Alex?" John took a step into the room.
Alex kept cowering back, refusing to make eye contact.
"Alex, it's okay, you didn't do anything, you had a panic attack, that's not your fault." John nervously chose his words as he saw Alex's chest movements continue to speed up. "Alex, it's okay. You're okay. Can you tell me something about you. Where are we?"
Alex had backed completely into the wall, closing his eyes and shaking his head.
"Alex?" And that's when he took off. He pushed past john and down the hall. Down the steps and into his car. John followed a few steps behind knowing full well alex was in no condition to drive. He grabbed his phone and was already dialing Laf's number.
"Hello john." They drawled. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
"Look laf, I know I'm the last person you want to hear from."
"Definitely up there yes."
"But Laf I need your help, please." He begged. "Please."
"Why? Why should I help you? After what you've done?" They sneered at him. This was their first conversation alone with him since they found out john cheated and they weren't anywhere near done with him.
"Laf. Please."
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't hang up on you right now." They demanded.
"Alex is gone."
Silence. They gasped.
"He's gone Laf."
"I heard you." They quickly murmured. "How long? What happened? I'm coming over."
"Wait! He might come to your apartment."
"Herc is here. I'm coming over, I expect to hear everything. See you in ten." They hung up.
Philip was still asleep and john decided to leave him be. Lafayette arrived exactly ten minutes later and john greeted them at the door.
"What happened?" They demanded.
John led them into the house and spoke quietly but harshly and fast. "He had a panic attack last night and kicked me out of the room. This morning he was still panicked and apologizing and I was trying to calm him down when he ran. He shouldn't be driving in this state Laf. I'm so scared."
"It's gonna be okay. You're gonna drive down to his office and any other places he's likely to be john. You're gonna find him. I'll stay here, in case he comes home and I'll watch the kids. Okay?" They held him in a soft hug, "okay john?" Then suddenly john was sobbing again, "john, it's okay."
John pulled away, "no. It's not okay, this is my fault and I don't even know why you're helping me because I know you hate me and you'd rather see me dead than back with alex—"
"Shut up john." Laf snapped, "pull yourself together, alex needs you and I know that, so I'm gonna help alex and if that means helping you then so be it. Got it?"
John sniffled but nodded.
"And you know full well that I don't hate you john. I hate what you did. I don't hate you. Alexander is just such a soft and easy going man that I had to. I had to hold his grudge because I knew he wasn't going to. And I was right." John looked back up at them hopefully, "don't get it in your head," they continued, "that I'm not mad, I'm still seething at you and I think Alex was wrong to take you back but I have to respect his decision. So now you have to go find him. Go."
John nodded wiping his eyes, "thanks Laf." He had to find alex whether alex wanted him back or not.