Chapter Text
By the time they reached the dorm, Yoongi was basically supporting all of Jeongguk's weight.
The younger just ached, everywhere. Almost like he was sick. He let out a quiet sigh. Anxiety sucks.
Yoongi's grip tightened at the noise, and put his key in the door, letting them both in.
No sooner had they stepped into the dorm than Jeongguk was being smothered by an overly-excited Jimin and Taehyung.
"Kookie where were you?" Taehyung wailed over-dramatically as the pair hung onto him, and Jeongguk couldn't help the small smile that found its way onto his lips.
"Kookie we were so worried," Jimin whispered into his ear.
He averted his gaze to his shoes. "I'm sorry hyungs... It's... It's a long story."
Taehyung opened his mouth, obviously about to ask for said story, but before a word could be uttered, Yoongi stepped forward, placing a hand on each of the 95-liners' shoulders, and pulled them off the maknae.
"We'll talk about it tomorrow," he leveled all six of them with a narrow-eyed stare, holding contact with Jeongguk. "And I mean it. Not a word about it tonight, but we will be talking about it tomorrow. All of it."
Jeongguk went back to inspecting his shoes, looking back up when a hand landed on his shoulder.
"Where are you at now, kid?" Yoongi looked at him, gaze significantly gentler than before, but no less piercing.
"Still a four, I think," he replied quietly, purposefully not looking around at the rest of his hyungs.
"Alright, we can work with that." A soft smile. "Original plan?"
"Sounds perfect, actually."
Without another word, the rapper whirled Jeongguk around, pulling his back against his chest (even though Jeongguk was quite obviously the taller of the two, his slumped posture had him slightly curled into his hyung's body and tucked under his chin) and meeting the confused, slightly concerned looks from the rest of the members.
"Alright men," giggles from the sunshine line. "I'm gonna help Kook clean up, don't ask, we'll explain in the morning. I need you all on damage control. Jin-hyung, I want you to push our beds together, and Joon-ah, you grab all the pillows and blankets you can find. The two of you can make a fort or nest or something, I don't care."
The 95-liners whined at that.
"Hush, you two you can help build the fort after you get Jin-hyung's stash he thinks we don't know about-" ("Yah, you brats-") "-and set it all out in bowls, and..." He looked down at Jeongguk. "Hot chocolate, I think?"
The younger smiled up at him and nodded.
"Great, and make us all hot chocolate."
Taehyung saluted, and with an "Aye aye, captain!" he and Jimin were gone in a flash, Seokjin and Namjoon heading off in the other direction to the bedroom.
Finally, Yoongi turned to Hoseok. "Hobi, I want you to also tell Jin-hyung to grab my laptop and all the Studio Ghibli movies we have and pick one to start with. Then, I need you to grab bandages... hydrogen peroxide.. and some sort of cream? Like for injuries? If we have that, anyways. Then meet me and Gguk in the bathroom please. And try not to let the others see."
Without so much as a raised eyebrow, Hoseok turned around and darted off to Yoongi's room. Which was exactly why Yoongi was choosing to confide in him first.
However, looking down at Jeongguk, he was slightly reconsidering not consulting the kid first. He looked stricken, and anxious. And if Yoongi paid attention, he could feel the slight tremors racking the younger's body.
"Gguk, number. Now."
He let out a short whine. "Six? Hyung, I thought we weren't going to talk about it tonight? He's going to think I'm sick, or a freak, and he's gonna tell everyone and then they'll all look at me weird and I don't want to I can't do that tonight -"
"Yah, kid, stop it." Jeongguk's mouth shut with a click, and Yoongi tightened his grip around the maknae, pressing a kiss to the top of his head and hooking his chin on Jeongguk's shoulder as the younger straightened up slightly. "I'm gonna need help with your arm. You're going to jolt around when I disinfect them, and I need someone to hold you still. Hobi won't say a word if we don't want him to. And there won't be any judgement, not from him or from any of us, okay? You're safe with us."
Jeongguk relaxed into the older's hold, breathing out steadily. He nodded. "Rationally, I know all that. Sorry. My brain.... You know. Sucks at that. Rationality I mean. Ugh."
Yoongi smiled and released his hold on the singer, switching to a loose grip around his wrist and tugging him towards the bathroom.
Once inside, Yoongi gestured for Jeongguk to sit down on the closed toilet and take his hoodie off. He hissed as the fabric rubbed his cuts, but otherwise had no reaction.
Yoongi couldn't help but stare at the younger's forearms. The tears in his skin were ragged, and what wasn't broken skin was raised red flesh, almost looking like scars. When Jeongguk started to recoil into himself, pulling his arms against his stomach, the elder snapped back into reality, kneeling in front of him and pulling his arms flat out to inspect them properly.
"It's okay, kid. You're okay, okay? Just gotta clean this up, and we'll be good -"
A sharp gasp and the door closing cut him off. Hoseok looked just about ready to fall over, and his eyes were wide and latched onto Jeongguk's arms, who flinched and tucked back into himself.
Yoongi immediately placed his hands on the younger's thighs. "No, no, you're okay. It's just Hobi, and he's just concerned for you. You are okay, I promise," he turned towards Hoseok, who hadn't moved from his position by the sink. "Hobi, I need you to help me clean his arms, okay?"
Even though Hoseok was known for his more... squeamish tendencies, he cared too much for his dongsaengs (well, all of his members really) to let any of that ever interfere with him taking care of them in any way. So Yoongi knew he'd be the perfect one to help him with this task. Plus, the younger was loyal to a fault, and wouldn't say a word unless told that he could.
But something other than blood seemed to be bothering him at the moment.
"Jungkook-ie," he whispered hoarsely, "you aren't... You didn't do this to yourself, did you?"
Jeongguk shifted uncomfortably. "I... I did, though? I kinda have this new-"
Hoseok was immediately in action, kneeling directly in front of the youngest, pressed up next to Yoongi with tears in his eyes. "Hyung, you have to tell the others, we have to get help-"
"Hoseok-ah," Yoongi began, shifting so he could place his hands on Hoseok's shoulders. "He's not self-harming."
The younger rapper seemed to deflate in relief, sinking forward with his forehead placed on Jeongguk's knee.
"Holy hell," he said thickly.
Jeongguk was sitting ramrod straight, eyes wide with alarm. "Hyung, you thought I... You thought..."
Yoongi grasped his now-shaking hands tightly and forced him to make eye contact. "Gguk, you have to understand how it looks. You've been struggling with anxiety, you disappear for hours today, then while I get the others to put together our damage control setup, I call him in here to have him help me clean up your bloody forearms. It doesn't look good, kid." He gently thumbed a couple tears that had leaked out off the maknae's cheeks.
"Hobi-hyung, I-" He was cut off by the rapper lifting his head quickly and placing a finger on his lips.
"Darling, you don't have to explain anything now, okay? Yoongi-hyung said you'd explain in the morning, and I trust you both. As long as you aren't intentionally harming yourself, I don't need to know right now, yeah? Let's just focus on cleaning you up and then I demand extra cuddles."
Jeongguk smiled, now realizing why, exactly, Yoongi had decided to confide in Hoseok out of all his hyungs.
Yoongi stood up, ruffling the maknae's hair once and taking a step back. "I'm gonna go make sure that Jin-hyung hasn't finally killed one of them for stealing from his secret stash, alright? Gguk-ah, Hobi's gonna take care of you, okay? When you guys are done, come to my room and you can cuddle all you want Hobi."
Hoseok flashed his brilliant sunshine smile at the elder, while Jeongguk gave a weak grin and a nod as he walked out.
As soon as the door closed behind Yoongi, he turned back to Jeongguk's arms, then raised an eyebrow. "I thought he would've wanted help so that I could hold you still while he disinfected them?"
The singer snorted. "He did. He must've forgotten about that. I can just hold still, I think?"
Hoseok looked at him doubtfully. "Are you sure? It's gonna sting quite a bit."
Jeongguk nodded, determination hardening his expression as he looked at the scratches. "Yeah, I can do it."
"Only if you're sure. I have to clean the blood off first, so let me know if you change your mind and I'll go fetch Yoongi-hyung."
But as the elder began gently, almost tenderly, cleaning away the grime, Jeongguk couldn't help but notice the tightening around his eyes. He shifted slightly, and immediately the elder's hand stilled, and his eyes snapped up to meet the maknae's nervous gaze.
"Does it hurt too much? Do you need me to get hyung, Kook?"
Jeongguk shifted. "No, Hobi-hyung, I just... Could I, um, explain? You know, this?" He flopped his arms in his lap.
Hoseok's gaze turned slightly wary. "I mean... I suppose, if you really want to. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, and I know Yoongi-hyung said you would be explaining tomorrow. I'm obviously worried, but I don't want to make you feel pressured or anything."
The younger slowly nodded, looking down at the floor in discomfort. "I know. But, I want to tell you. I'm not gonna go into detail, but I'd like for you to kinda know what's going on?"
Hoseok gave him a soft smile, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the palm of his hand in reassurance.
Jeongguk took a shaky breath before continuing. "So, I guess, like I was saying to Yoongi-hyung earlier, you know how when we all had our... talk, I mentioned little tics I have when I'm anxious?"
The rapper nodded, eyebrows pinched together in thought.
"Well, I have a new one that's popped up in the past week? Like, I'll nervously scratch at my arm. A nervous tic, I guess? The pain's a bit grounding as well though, if I'm being completely honest."
At the last statement, Hoseok's eyes widened, and he opened his mouth to speak, but Jeongguk was quick to continue.
"That sounded bad. I mean, I suppose in a way this is almost a form of unintentional self-harming? I mean I've never broken skin before. And I didn't do it on purpose, it was just because I was doing it so often. But I'm not cutting or anything like that, hyung. I promise, I don't even have the urge to. I'd talk to one of you if I did." He nervously looked up at the elder at the end.
Hoseok once again seemed to deflate in relief. "I mean obviously we're going to have to keep an eye on this, because while it isn't self-harming, it's definitely self-destructive. But we can get through this together; all of us are here to help you. And I'm glad to hear you'd confide in us if you felt that way. Seriously, darling, please never be afraid to tell us what's going on with you. We love you and won't judge you, no matter what. Unless you turn into a serial killer or something. Then we'd definitely judge you."
Jeongguk grinned in response, meeting Hoseok's own tentative smile.
"Thanks, hyung," he said quietly, leaning forward into the elder's comforting embrace.
"Of course, Gguk. Love you," and he smacked a kiss onto Jeongguk's forehead before scooting backwards and grabbing the wet washcloth, a bright sunshine smile lighting up his whole face. "Now let's get your arms cleaned up before any of the others start to think I drowned you in the bathtub."
Hoseok gently, ever so gently, dabbed away the blood on Jeongguk's forearms, murmuring apologies every time he flinched. Eventually it was cleared away, and he quickly swiped hydrogen peroxide on the broken skin, blowing on them while the younger hissed in a breath. Finally, he put slathered cream on both forearms and bound them tightly, before tugging Jeongguk's hoodie back over his head and pulling the sleeves of it securely down to his fingertips, where the younger clutched them in his fists.
"There ya go, darling. Now, I demand extra cuddles. I know everyone's going to be in a big cuddle pile, but I demand a good spot." Hoseok smiled, gently rubbing the singer's arms from shoulder to elbow, almost like he was warming him up.
Jeongguk couldn't help but smile back. His family really was wonderful.
"Of course hyung, I wouldn't miss out on your hugs for anything."