Chapter Text
“Wild thing, you make my heart sing,” Bill sang at the top of his voice, leaning out the back back window of his own car. Eddie was on the other side, singing with him while Richie drove them toward the Denbrough house. “You make eeeeverything groovy, wild thing!”
Both of them were drunk, not giving a single shit if they woke anyone up while they cruised through the neighborhood. Richie had long since given up trying to keep them from leaning out the windows like a couple dogs, Bill thought maybe he was enjoying their drunken lunacy too much to really want them to stop.
Eddie disappeared from the otherside of the car and Bill felt someone tugging on his belt so he let himself sink down into the car. Eddie snickered as he grabbed his face and pulled him in for a kiss. It was a little sloppy and his mouth tasted like beer. Since neither one of them could stop smiling, their teeth clicked together, making them both laugh even harder.
“Wild thing, I think I love you! But I want to know fooor suuuure,” Eddie sang drunkenly toward the roof of the car, leaning back until he fell against the window, pulling Bill with him.
“Hold me tight, I love you,” Bill sang back to Eddie, completing the first verse as he lay on top of Eddie in the back seat, wrapping his long arms around the shorter boy.
“You two are fucking stupid,” Richie said from the front seat. It was too dark to see but Bill could hear the grin in his voice.
“You love us,” Eddie said smugly and Bill could feel his thin but warm hands stroking up and down his back. “I love us. I love you guys so much.”
Eddie had been babbling like that since his fourth beer. He’d gotten about half way through a fifth one before handing it over to Bill. Getting Eddie drunk had been one of his best ideas, ever. It wasn’t as though Eddie ever had a problem with speaking his mind around them but the stuff he said was just so cute and weird when he was drunk. He had started following ‘Shut up Richie’ with ‘Kiss me’ instead of ‘asshole’. And he kept going on about how nice Bill’s face was.
Occasionally he’d branch out to how pretty and nice Beverly was or how dependable Ben was. It was awesome that Stan could make fires and that Mike had better not post any of the videos he caught of him doing stupid shit online.
Bill wished he could live in those fuzzy, light moments where he was drowned in friendship. He could spend every night of his life dancing with Beverly and listening to Richie annoy Eddie and Stan. Beverly and Richie would go at each other, making everyone laugh while Mike documented everything. Then Ben would help pour them all in their cars while Mike and Stan make sure everyone had someone sober to drive them home. Bill loved his Losers.
He especially loved Richie and Eddie, though.
Smiling, he listened to the two of them singing Wild Thing while his ear was pressed into Eddie’s chest. Bill pulled the sleeves of his dark green henley down over his palms and squeezed Eddie a little tighter. He never wanted this moment to end. Unfortunately he could already feel the car slowing down as they neared his house.
With a gentle turn the car finally stopped and Richie cut the engine. Bill didn’t want to leave yet, though. He nuzzled his face further into Eddie’s chest, refusing to move even when the driver’s side door opened and closed. Then the one at his feet popped open and Richie was leaning over the both of them.
“Home again, home again, jiggity jig. Come on guys. I gotta get home,” Richie said, and when Bill still refused to move he groaned. “Awe come on, Big Bill. Don’t be like this.” Still nothing. Then suddenly Richie’s hands were on his sides and Bill started to howl and squirm.
Richie kept tickling him until he fell out of the car, and then paused to bend down and kiss him. Bill whined when he tried to pull away, though, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck. It took him a little longer but Richie did manage to stand up, hauling Bill with him.
“D-Don’t want you to g-go,” Bill whined, pressing his face into Richie’s neck. He smelled like wood-smoke and sweat.
His hands were wider than Eddie’s as they spread over Bill’s ribs, steadying him. They petted over Bill’s sides and then stroked over his back as Richie pulled him into a tight hug. Eddie’s hands touched touched the small of his back and then wrapped around him so they were on his stomach.
“Why’re we hugging like this is the last time we’re going to see each other,” Eddie asked against Bill’s shoulder. One of his hands petted low over Bill’s stomach and the other reached out to curl into the top of Richie’s jeans.
“Because Bill’s clingy when he’s drunk. You’re no better,” Richie said, letting go of Bill. He used one hand to pry the redhead’s arms from around his neck and the other to get Eddie’s hand off his belt.
“Mmm I j-ju-just love you so m-m-much,” Bill said, grinning at Richie when he finally got loose. Eddie slid under Bill’s arm, the two of them leaning into each other. “D-Do you really have t-to go?”
“You know I’d stay if I could,” Richie said, leaning in to give Bill another peck on the lips. This one was quick and he leaned back before he could get ensnared in those long, reaching arms again. He didn’t anticipate Eddie grabbing hold of his shirt to pull him down for a kiss as well, though. Chuckling, Richie kissed him back before pulling back again. “You two going to be able to get inside without me?”
“Y-yeah,” Bill said glumly, a pout on his handsome face. He didn’t want Richie to go, but he couldn’t make him stay. “Love you, Richie.”
He lunged forward for another hug, this time letting go after a beat or two without having to be pried off like an unruly octopus. Eddie took his turn next, also muttering words of love. Richie laughed at the both of them, shoving his hands into his pockets. Even though he kept saying that he needed to go, he seemed to be having as much trouble leaving as Eddie and Bill were having letting him go.
“Love you guys too. Don’t like puke in your sleep and die.”
That was his parting line after about three minutes of the three of them pussyfooting around saying goodbye. Eddie and Bill waved him off before stumbling up Bill’s front porch.
Bill didn’t bother trying to be quiet the worst that would happen was that his parents would yell at him for being too loud then forget about him again by the time they woke up again. He could feel Eddie’s hands on his back and waist as he paused to lock the door behind them. Eddie was still all over him when he swerved into the kitchen and grabbed a couple bottles of Gatorade out of the fridge before leading the way upstairs.
They slipped into Bill’s room with minimal difficulties and only then did Eddie stop touching him. Even then, it was only so he could strip down to his boxers. Then he was touching Bill again, smiling and pulling at his jeans and shirt. Snickering to himself, Bill tossed the gatorade bottles on the bed and peeled off his everything but his boxer shorts. Much as they had joked about it at the quarry, Bill wasn’t planning on any sloppy, drunk sex tonight.
“C-come on. Let’s get in b-bed,” Bill urged, putting his hands on Eddie’s shoulder and pushing him toward the bed.
“I’m not tired yet,” Eddie whined but did as he was told, flopping onto the bed dramatically when he reached it. He clumsily shoved the gatorade bottles off the side.
“Y-You will be wh-when you lay d-d-down a while,” Bill said, laughing quietly as he followed Eddie under the blankets.
It was dark in the room, they spent enough time in Bill’s room that it hadn’t been too hard to navigate with the moonlight shining in through the windows. As soon as he was in bed, he wrapped his arm tightly around Eddie and pulled him close. His cheek pressed into Eddie’s chest and his head was filled with that heartbeat again. It didn’t feel the same when Richie wasn’t pressed up against his back but it was still miles better than being alone.
Bill hated being alone more than anything in the world. Sometimes he felt so clingy and pitiful because of it. It wasn’t just with Richie and Eddie, either. He was like that with all the Losers.
The feel of Beverly linking their arms as they walked through Derry, or Mike’s arm hooking around his neck in comradery was something he lived for. It made him feel like he was part of something that mattered, as did Stan slapping the back of his arm to get his attention or Ben’s shoulder brushing against his when he squared up with Bill against the likes of Joshua Lyman and his friends. All of it, every little touch or silent conversation he had with the Losers made him feel loved. Sometimes he felt like the seven of them were close enough that they could almost read each other’s minds.
Bill didn’t know what he’d do if he lost a single one of them. But then he didn’t have to.
Eddie’s hand stroked through his hair and he started humming “Wild Thing” against the top of Bill’s head. He took a few deep breaths against Eddie’s chest. He smelled like soap and skin, with just the faintest hint of smoke on his skin. Sometimes Bill didn’t know what he did to deserve this.
Because it was his fault Georgie died. It had to be. If that wasn’t the reason his parents seemed not to care if he existed or not, then they just saw something worthless in him that the Losers had yet to find yet.
His breath started to come out a little shuddery and wet as he thought of that. The idea that one day Eddie and Richie would realize there wasn’t really much about him to love, or that the Losers would see how useless he was and leave him alone made him feel vaguely sick.
“Hey, Billy Baby, you okay,” Eddie asked quietly in the dark. He held Bill’s head more tightly and curled his fingers into his hair. “What’s wrong? Why’re you crying?”
Oh God he was crying. Bill Sniffled, letting go of Eddie with one arm and curling it between them to wipe at his face. What did he say? ‘Because was thinking of when you all realize there’s nothing good about me?’ He couldn’t even make his mouth open to say anything! Feeling small, and weird, and stupid he just pressed his face into Eddie’s chest even further.
Eddie didn’t ask what was wrong again, though Bill could feel the nervous tension vibrating through him with the way he started to rock their bodies, ever so subtly. His hans kept roaming anxiously over his back and swiping through his hair. Instead of humming ‘Wild Things’ he started on something that Bill recognized as being from RENT. Beverly would have known what it was within the first couple bars. The only words that Bill could fit to the melody were toward the end, though.
“...but I die, without you…”
“Y-You won’t l-l-leave m-m-m-me, ri-ight,” Bill stuttered out, making Eddie go quiet. A quiet laugh ruffled the hair on top of Bill’s head.
“Not in a million years,” Eddie said and Bill squeezed him tighter. “I love you Billy Baby. You can’t get rid of me now.”
“D-Do you th-think. Do you think R-R-Richie…” Bill couldn’t get any further. His lips seemed to glue themselves shut and his jaw refused to crack open to let the words come out. ‘Do you think Richie loves me?’
But Eddie must have understood because he laughed a little louder.
“He loves you more than the sound of his own voice. We both love you, and you love us, and we love each other,” Eddie said, pulling himself back from Bill only to lean back down and start planting kisses all over his tear-damp face.
He didn’t have to clarify that it didn’t just count for the three of them, but all the Losers. It wasn’t the first time they had this conversation. It probably wouldn’t be the last. Every now and then Bill just needed to be reminded that the Losers were his family of choice and they loved him.