Chapter Text
{ 9:42 PM - Sunday }
"Operation Save The Mullet"
Dick Boys: Hey guys I've got some big news!!!
~ Dick Boys has changed the chat name to The Big News!!!! ~
Pants: Omg what is it??? Are you & Akechi finally dating or???
Dick Boys: No but I am changing my name!!
Queen: What?
Dick Boys: Its exactly as I said!
Dick Boys: Goodbye Akira Kurusu, hello Ren Amamiya!!!!
~ Dick Boys has changed their name to Ren Amamiya ~
Pants: I.
Pants: I don't like this.
squid kid: i don't like this either,,,, wtf is up with the bad energy that comes from that name
Ren Amamiya: What bad energy lol this is just my name now
hamilton: That would be like calling Yu, Soji.............
Ren Amamiya: Why would we call him Soji lmao
hamilton: Exactly!!! So why should we call you Ren !!!
Ren Amamiya: Because that's my name?
Queen: But it's not.
hamilton: But. But what if it is oh god
Pants: Alright Akira this joke has gone on too far. You've pushed Haru into having an existential crisis
hamilton: But.. What if it's been his name this whole time? Akira didn't even exist?
Pants: See? Look at it. It's got anxiety!
hamilton: Oh God what if I'm not even Haru? What if I'm .. Howey.....
Queen: Haru, you aren't Howey.
hamilton: That's what they want you to believe
squid kid: she isn't even in character anymore smh look what you've done
Ren Amamiya: What did I, Ren Amamiya, do to make this happen?
Pants: Alright, Ren, hold on a sec then
Ren Amamiya: ?????
Queen: What's she doing?
Ren Amamiya: No idea tbh
hamilton: Is... that Ann???? Yelling from the dorm window??????????
squid kid: omg
Queen: Unbelievable
Ren Amamiya: Wtf?
Pants: I just yelled "Ren Amamiya" out of my window for like a full minute!!!!!!! And you didn't respond!!! You only looked up when Haru pointed it out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ren Amamiya: Did you scope me out on the campus
Pants: Maybe
Pants: But that's not the point! You're Akira Kurusu and this proves it!
Ren Amamiya: Ive just got bad hearing. This proves nothing
Queen: Lies.
Ren Amamiya: What
Queen: You have perfectly fine hearing? I've seen you look up when Ryuji yells at you from all the way across the campus
Ren Amamiya: That's bc I know that he's doing it >:(
squid kid: excuses excuses.....
Queen: Honestly I feel like he's too deluded now. Let's just let him live.
Pants: How could I? Akira is like my best friend smh i cant let him ruin his life like this
Ren Amamiya: BITCH ITS 2018 ? MY LIFE IS GETTIN BETTER NOW
Ren Amamiya: Also my name is *Ren
Pants: You know what? He can die
S: what the hell
S: what has happened here
squid kid: *kneels down and touches the ground*
squid kid: something terrible happened here.....
S: I really don't like this
S: Akira dude are you okay
Ren Amamiya: Im fine. Pls respect my decision to change my name :(
Fox: What.
hamilton: While im glad that there are more people here to convince """Ren""" that he's delusional now, ive got to ask? Where were you guys
S: Meat Beat Mania
Pants: Ew
Fox: We were watching a movie.
Pants: Aw
Ren Amamiya: NO! Attention back on ME!!!!
Ren Amamiya: Im changing my name ! And no cute domestic interactions can take away my thunder!
squid kid: i think he's lost his mind
Ren Amamiya: You know that I lost that a long time ago
Pants: Alright um We need Help.
~ Pants has added Moonpie to the chat ~
Pants: Mishima please I'm begging you help us
Queen: Good idea. We need someone with a semi-level head to help us here. Ann, can you tell him what's happening?
Pants: Alright!! So basically Akira has lost his fucking mind and has decided his name is Ren Amamiya. We don't know what to do anymore and I'm shaking
S: okay that's the story mishima buddy give us the diagnosis
Moonpie: Death.
Pants: FCDDHCHGBKK
Ren Amamiya: :3 ?
Moonpie: Akira what the hell are u thinking
Ren Amamiya: Im thinking that this name is better and that yall are mean :(
Pants: @Keith what are u thinking
Keith: Im thinking he's a fucking dumbass
Ren Amamiya: Babe no :((((((((((
Keith: Akira have your brain cells died off entirely
squid kid: im glad that weve established that today is bully akira day
S: OH SHIT ITS NOT BULLY RYUJI DAY ANYMORE
Pants: Congrats! You're free!
Moonpie: Sorry, I'm confused ? What's happening like. For real
hamilton: Mishima is too cute I don't want to do this to him
Moonpie: Thank you i guess???
hamilton: :)))
Ren Amamiya: Mishima is very cute but not even that will stop me from keeping this name
Moonpie: Why is everyone calling me cute all of a sudden?
Moonpie: And, Akira??,, the name is really dumb
Ren Amamiya: Bitch
Moonpie: ?!
Keith: You've gone too far Akira
Moonpie: ?!?!?!??
Moonpie: Im so confused ??? I don't even know who everyone is....
Pants: I'm Ann, duh
S: its ryuji dude
Ren Amamiya: Im God so bend down and lick my shoes
Moonpie: Im leaving
Pants: FGRFJGJJ
Moonpie: The fact that I used to have a crush on your dumb ass is hilarious to me now
hamilton: We broke him guys
Moonpie: Goodbye, Ren Amamiya
Ren Amamiya: What did i do wtf
Moonpie: Nothing in particular :)
hamilton: Scary
Ren Amamiya: Mishima honey what did I do
Moonpie: Literally nothing lol I just wanted to try the scare tactic
Moonpie: The cops in those American movies always get answers when they do it so I thought that I could too???
Moonpie: Also "honey" haha
Queen: Adorable.
Ren Amamiya: Mishima tricked me. After I let him into my heart. My home. What a fool I was...
S: ѕтƒυ αкιяα
Pants: Dumb font
S: :((
squid kid: im still upset about the dumb name bs but at the same time.... u know.....
Keith: Fuck him
squid kid: exactly
Ren Amamiya: Please do
Fox: Akira.
Ren Amamiya: Yes?
Ren Amamiya: WAIT
Ren Amamiya: I WAS BLINDED BECAUSE IT WAS YUSUKE
Pants: WE GOT YOU BITCH
Queen: He fell into a trap of his own making.....
squid kid: fuck u kurusu
Ren Amamiya: SSorry? Wjat happened? Yu had my phone?
Keith: Akira, you're lying on my couch and trying not to laugh your ass off
Ren Amamiya: Lies
Keith: cease.jpg
Moonpie: Lol this is sort of sad to witness
squid kid: sad is what akira is lolol
Ren Amamiya: Please...,,., thids can't end like this... I am Ren Amamiya
S: dude, you're just embarrassing yourself now
Ren Amamiya: .....
~ Ren Amamiya has changed their name to Kururururu ~
Kururururu: >:(
Queen: Finally.
Moonpie: I hated that
Pants: Look, not to say I'd kill Akira? But I'd definitely push him down a flight of stairs
Keith: Me too lol
S: that's a lot more malicious when it comes from you
squid kid: the push akira down the stairs foundation
squid kid: pads for short
Pants: Can you give me some money for pads? Sorry to ask but I do think it's a good cause
Kururururu: Yallre mean :((
S: you bullied us for hours you demon
Kururururu: And??
S: you deserve it?
Kururururu: This right here? It's bullying
Moonpie: Akira you are the biggest bully ive ever seen
Kururururu: It's bullying
squid kid: no, this is bullying
~ squid kid has kicked Kururururu from the chat ~
Moonpie: Thank you, stranger
squid kid: np but give me your social security number
Queen: And that's enough.
squid kid: :(