Chapter Text
The tarot cards were still spewn across the table when Jun returned home early that morning. He only spared them a short stare before he turned to the kitchen. He pressed the button for the coffee machine. There was some time before he had to head off for the high school.
It had been months yet the silence in the house made Jun nostalgic for the busy mornings Akira would be up and getting ready alongside him. He hadn’t bothered adding anything to his coffee.
Jun tried to act normal. He tried to keep up his smile and kind voice for the students and faculty throughout the day. Playing the part had been easier than it should have been. Fake smiles and cheerful masks came too easily. There was few questions about his well being, and they were easily brushed off. It wasn’t odd for him to pull long shifts or allnighters.
When classes were over, Jun didn’t stay long. He lingered, counting down to when it wouldn’t seem out of character, but as soon as internal countdown struck, he left.
The walk home was long.
Their house had always been quiet, but it had been comfortable and signs of life carried. Akira’s video games or radio had always echoed through the thin walls. If an engine wasn’t sputtering out, a guitar from the backyard drifted in.
The door slid shut and the house creaked as it settles into itself. It was silent after.
It was suffocating. Jun stood in the entryway. Akira almost died. His son was almost killed. He was beaten and broken and drugged and there was absolutely nothing Jun could do.
His case slipped from his hand, hitting the ground with a loud thud, and he took a shaky but deliberate breath. He told Tatsuya he’d be okay. He wasn’t, but he could lie for a little longer. He stepped further into the house.
Taking his coat off and hanging it on the back of one of the chairs in the kitchen, Jun checked his phone. There was a new message from Tatsuya: an update on how Akira was doing. He was sleeping and still lethargic when he was awake, but overall Tatsuya thought he’d be okay. It offered a little comfort. Jun wished he could be there, but Akira’s concerns were understandable. It had still been hard to ignore those pained pleas last night.
Jun looked back to the entryway where he left his case. There was quiz material to finalize and prepare, but he didn’t trust himself to do a proper job just yet.
The phone vibrated with a new message as he stepped into the family room.
[Tatsuya]: they’re all getting together in a little while and akira wants me there
[Tatsuya]: are you free in a little while?
Jun let him know he just got home and he can call anytime.
As Jun stood in the middle of the family room, looking down at his silent phone, Jun didn’t know what he felt. He looked down at the table and the cards again. He decided to tidy up as he waited for the call.
The exhaustion felt heavy but as he set a cup of tea down on the low table in the living room, Jun knew it would be hard to sleep tonight. He sat on a cushion and ran his fingers over the back of his deck he held in his hands. They were already shuffled.
For the first time in weeks—months, more likely—the television was off. Jun already knew what was going to be on the news. He felt himself grow more anxious for the phone call.
He needed to take a breath and calm himself. He focused on Akira’s well being as his hands were tight over the deck. Three cards were placed in a row in front of him. He didn’t have the peace of mind to sit through anything more complex.
The first card was flipped and six swords were on the face. He almost wanted to laugh. It felt a little cruel.
As his hand reached for the next card, his phone rings on the table. The cracked screen lit up with Tatsuya’s name. Jun pressed the answer call button and put the phone on speaker.
By the sounds on the line, they must have been in the cafe. There was rambunctious chatter in the background and yet Jun knew it could not be the usual clientele.
“Jun?”
“I’m here, Tatsuya.”
“Hi, Dad.” It was Akira. Jun’s breath hitched. He couldn’t help but smile, even if no one was around.
“Hello, honey,” Jun finally brought himself to say. Maybe he imagined it, but the background chatter seemed to die down.
“We’re just about to have a meeting. Let Sojiro in on the details and make sure we’re all on the same page.” Akira sounded rough over the phone; tired and worn and yet Jun could still hear that smile in his voice. His heart ached. “Thought you’d want in on it.”
“I appreciate it. Thank you, Akira.”
“Hey! Shouldn’t we tell Boss what really happened?” It sounded like that energetic boy, Ryuji. So the group fell into conversation, explaining to Sakura what had happened and why they let it. There was a woman’s voice, one Jun did not recognize. From the context that he picked up, she knew more about the insides of the investigation than just some simple acquaintance of Akira’s. She may very well had been on the investigation team in someway. Akira knew some terribly interesting people.
As the group talked about things Akira had previously explained to him last night, Jun turned the next card. The Devil in reverse. Jun paused. He flipped the last card. The Six of Wands, and a sense of calm washed over him. The group continues talking, explaining how the traitor had made such a simple mistake. His heart felt heavy, but these kids were strong. Akira wasn’t alone.
Jun reached for his phone and pulled it closer to himself.
It felt like hours passed as the group talked and Jun and Tatsuya listened in quietly. It was hard not to note how quiet Akira was throughout the whole discussion despite being such a vital part of it.
The talks turned to the potential head of everything, the person who could have had the gall and audacity to attempt a such a reckless hit. Shido Masayoshi. He had been on the news frequently as a popular choice for Prime Minister. Jun will have to keep an eye on that man. Something never settled right with him about that politician and he was glad he trusted his instincts.
There was rustling over the phone as Tatsuya picked his up. Everyone seemed to be parting for the day. Their plans were set and they all had their eyes on the next target. Jun cradled the phone in his hands. The line rustled one more time.
“Jun?”
“I’m still here.” Despite himself, Jun smiled down at the phone. He watched the timer tick on.
“I’m making Akira get some more rest, but he wants to talk to you before he sleeps.”
“Please.”
Jun heard them over the phone. He assumed they were up in the attic space, Akira’s bedroom.
“Dad?”
“Hello, Akira.”
The line was quiet. Jun didn’t mind. His thumb rubbed against the edge of the phone.
“It was really nice seeing you last night,” Akira finally said. Jun closed his eyes. “I hope I can see you soon. I’m sorry I made you leave so quickly.”
“You’re wellbeing and safety is more important than anything. I understand.”
“How much trouble am I in?”
Jun laughed.
“you cannot imagine.” He smiled despite the sting in his eyes. Jun could hear a soft chuckle and he smiled to himself. The line grew quiet again and Jun felt content.
“Hey, um… Can I ask a favor?” Akira asked finally. He sounded hesitant.
“Of course.”
“Can you… Maybe it’s a bit much to ask, but… Could you get your keyboard out?”
That wasn’t what Jun had expecting Akira to ask for. He hadn’t meant to stay silent as long as he had, but Jun was caught well off guard. He stared down at the phone, watched the timer tick away at the hours that had passed. Jun had to swallow down the swell in his heart. He nodded before he remembered it was only a voice call.
“One moment.”
He carefully put his phone down on the table and stood. He kept it in their bedroom, next to Tatsuya’s guitar. Jun took the keyboard from the closet, shifting the guitar case back to lean against the wall again. The keyboard was a little bulky, an older model, but he appreciated having something again. Some days, he missed having a proper piano.
He had to clear off the table, but he set the keyboard down in the family room. Flipping a switch, and adjusting a few settings, Jun played a quick scale. He adjusted the volume one more time.
“Does that sound alright?” Jun asked as he scooted his phone just a little closer.
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“Alright.”
Jun sat still, and held his hands over the white keys as he breathed. His fingers had a constant tremble, but he pushed past. The first notes were soft, gentle in their somber climb. The song itself was nostalgic, something he remembered from years ago during reprieves; tucked away between the gossamer space between consciousness and unconsciousness.
But as the song crescendoed, that was not the nostalgia that made his heart ache. Jun bit his lip as he remembered wrapping a young Akira snugly into blankets, kissing tear-stained cheeks as Jun let him lie back into the couch. He remembered playing this same song over and over on an even older and dated keyboard until Akira finally settled from the nightmares and fell asleep.
He couldn’t express how relieved he was that it hadn’t been the last time.
The final notes fade and Jun hadn’t meant to let a shuddered gasp slip as he tried to keep it together just a little longer. The line is silent and Jun hoped Akira hadn’t heard it. His hand pressed against his mouth and he focuses on steadying his breathing.
The line rustled and Jun swallowed hard.
“He fell asleep. Yusuke’s going to watch him tonight.” Tatsuya’s voice was soft and gentle, grounding. The last string snapped and Jun let himself collapse. His chest felt so hollow as he sobbed.
Jun didn’t know how long he sat in the family room, crying over his phone as Tatsuya silently and patiently stayed on the line. When he finally calmed, he was nothing but exhausted. It felt bone deep.
“You should sleep, too.”
Jun looked to his phone and rubbed at his eye. They still stung, and yet he felt a little lighter. He grabbed at his phone and cradled it once again in his hands as they rested in his lap.
“Not yet,” Jun rasped. He cleared his throat and tried again, “Stay with me a little longer, Tatsuya.”
It took Tatsuya a moment to respond.
“How ever long you need.”