Chapter Text
It had become something of a tradition for Sam to “forget” to do the spell for his hair unless they were in the middle of a hunt and he might get it messed up too seriously. It was an excuse, although he tried to pretend it wasn’t. If he forgot to do the spell, well, he didn’t own a comb or fancy shampoos or conditioners or any of the stuff he’d need to keep his hair perfect without magic. He’d have to call Castiel to help him fix it up. No, doing the spell while his hair was a mess wouldn’t help, he was sure. He’d never tried, but he could swear he remembered Jo saying something about that.
Castiel never minded. He was always very grateful to get his hands in Sam’s hair. He’d said he missed caring for his wings like this, that it wasn’t the same if he just didn’t let his grace do all the work. Sam had accepted that easily enough.
Until tonight. Sam’s hair had barely been tangled, but Castiel spent twenty minutes running his hands through Sam’s hair anyway. Now he was curious. “Cas?”
“Yes, Sam?”
“Do you want some help with your wings?”
Castiel’s fingers went still in Sam’s hair. “My grace takes care of them for me.”
“I know, but you said you missed taking care of them this way, like my hair.”
“It’s not the same if I shut off my grace and try to do it. It’s missing something. I don’t know what it is.”
“So I’m thinking, maybe if someone else took care of them for you, that could help. I know that it feels way different having you work on my hair than trying to do it myself.”
Castiel tilted his head, considering. “I suppose it couldn’t hurt to try. I’ll pull my grace back and come see you in a day or two so you can preen me.”
Two days later, Castiel came back. “Don’t worry about hurting me or making a mistake. I can fix it with my grace. Just figure it out as you go.” He sat on the edge of the bed.
Sam waited. And kept waiting. “Um, Cas? Aren’t you forgetting something?” he eventually said.
Castiel blinked and looked behind him. “Right. If I want you to care for my wings, you kind of need to be able to see them.” He closed his eyes, and a pair of beautiful wings shimmered into sight. The base color was black, but the edges of the feathers were gold, and there were iridescent feathers of purple and green and blue scattered throughout the wings. Sam couldn’t stop staring. Castiel looked over his shoulder again. “Sam?”
“I’m… wow. Your wings are so beautiful.” Sam shook his head to clear it and knelt behind Castiel on the bed. “I can’t believe you compared my hair to these.”
“Why not? Gabriel’s, Lucifer’s before he fell, no, but your hair is at least as beautiful as my wings. My wings are rather… dark.”
Sam scoffed, but he got to work, straightening feathers. Castiel held as still as he could, but the wings pushed back into Sam’s hands as he worked. As he worked, he could see why Castiel would make the association as far as the delicacy required. “Hey, Castiel?”
“Yes?”
“Is Pluto a planet?”
He could feel Castiel rolling his eyes. “The distinction between what is a planet and what isn’t is a human concern. Based on the history of the word and other objects like it, I would think it shouldn’t be considered a planet. Why do you ask?”
“I was reading something earlier today about scientists thinking a ninth planet formed out in the edges of the solar system and got kicked out when Jupiter and Saturn got into an orbital resonance, and I kind of got lost down the rabbit hole. You were there, you watched the solar system coming together, so I thought you might have a definitive answer.”
“I do not. Much like Ceres, it was discovered earlier than other objects in its region of space, but it is only one of many objects there.”
“What about that ninth planet that was kicked out?”
“There were several objects ejected from the solar system during planetary formation. There was also a planet-sized object that was captured as it passed by. It’s very far out, so your scientists haven’t discovered it yet, but it’s out there.”
“Wow. That’s awesome. I wonder how much longer it’ll take us to find it?”
“The observations of its effects are likely being studied already. Actually seeing it through a telescope will probably take some time, as it’s currently lost against the Milky Way.”
“Awesome.” Sam looked over the wing he was working on. He could definitely tell the difference between where he’d worked and where he hadn’t. “So is this working? Does it feel like it did when you were falling?”
“Yes and no. It doesn’t feel like it did then, but I am very glad you suggested this, because it’s a very pleasant sensation. If you would be willing, I’d like to do this again.”
“Any time you want me to. I’ve really come to look forward to you coming to work on my hair. I like having the chance to hang out with you and talk about ridiculous stuff. So worth Dean teasing me.”
“What’s Dean teasing you about?”
Sam ducked his head, mentally kicking himself for bringing it up. “He’s, uh, he’s been telling me that if I want your hands in my hair, I should just tell you that instead of making up excuses. Forgetting the spell once he could believe, but how often I’ve been forgetting it since…”
“Your memory is better than that, Sam. Once, in the middle of a hunt, is believable." Castiel turned to look at Sam, his blue eyes troubled. "Have you really been forgetting since? I just assumed it was an excuse and that you were flirting with me.”
“Wha…”
“Making an excuse to spend time together, allowing me to touch you in such an intimate way? You know perfectly well that except for that first time, it would not have taken thirty minutes to fix your hair for you. And then when you asked if I would like you to care for my wings for me… have I been misunderstanding? Was that not intended as a deepening of our relationship? I talked to Dean after the first couple times, and he agreed that this was likely you attempting to become closer to me, in a way that was safe for you.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning that after centuries with my older brothers, even after I took on the pain of those memories, I can’t imagine you’re all that comfortable with more traditional forms of intimacy, so you were finding a way to have that without triggering yourself.”
“Dean said that.” It did not sound like his brother at all.
“Well, no. Dean said that ‘After however long he was Lucifer and Michael’s bitch in the cage, he’s even less interested in sex than he was before he went in, so this sounds like he’s trying to work around it.’ I thought rephrasing might be a good idea.”
Sam broke down in laughter. Couldn’t help it. This was all too ridiculous. “Okay. Um. This is gonna sound really stupid…”
“You’re not stupid, Sam.”
“No, but I can act like it sometimes. It’s all been an excuse to have you come over and take care of my hair and spend time with you, but I was hoping you wouldn’t catch on. Because either you wouldn’t be interested, in which case it would end when you realized what I was doing, or you would be interested, but you’d expect progression I’m not sure I’m comfortable with. It honestly never occurred to me that you of all people would understand why I might have a problem with the normal progression…”
“Normal is such a loaded word, Sam. The most common, yes, but there’s nothing abnormal about choosing a different path in your relationship.”
“So yeah. The only thing you got wrong was that I didn’t realize you’d caught on and accepted things as they are.”
“Now that you know, is there anything you’d like to do differently?”
“I’m gonna stop even pretending I’m forgetting the spell when I put it off a couple days, and…” Sam thought for a minute. “Would you mind staying with me tonight until I fall asleep?”
“Not at all.”
When Sam finished Castiel’s wings and Castiel had approved of the job he’d done, he got ready for bed. When he came back, Castiel was still sitting on the end of the bed. “Come up here, Cas. Where you can play with my hair.”
“Okay.” Castiel waited until Sam had settled in, and then moved to where he could reach Sam’s hair. “I believe there’s a human tradition of a lullaby. Would you like one?”
“Sure, why not?” Sam closed his eyes and waited. He nearly burst into laughter when he recognized Castiel’s idea of a lullaby as being “Hey, Jude”.