Chapter Text
もう一度またどこかで会うなら
笑顔で声をかけあって
嘘でもいいから ココロを隠して
幸せを報告しましょう
永遠のブルー
If we meet again by chance somewhere
Let’s call out to each other with smiles on our faces
It’s fine if you’re lying so just conceal your feelings
Let’s announce our happiness to each other
An everlasting blue
「Brilliant Blue」関ジャニ∞
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Chuuya remains curled up on his side, his back facing Fyodor. “No.”
“Chuuya,” Fyodor says before catching himself from saying whatever nasty thing he's surely thinking. Chuuya doesn't blame him; he thinks Fyodor is actually under-reacting given what happened the previous night. The Russian sighs and Chuuya can see him combing his fingers through his hair, his lips slightly upturned as they always get whenever he's upset. “Chuuya,” his name is exhaled on a sigh. “We need to talk about it.”
“Must we talk about it now?”
“You started crying in the middle of sex.”
It sounds crude when Fyodor says it like that but he’s just stating a fact, which only sounds terrible because of the curdling anxiety Chuuya feels. Actually, Fyodor’s downplaying it. Chuuya didn't so much cry as totally broke down and bawled his eyes out. He really shouldn't have drunk before going to Fyodor. He made too many mistakes the previous day and they all culminated in a mess that now threatens to turn his whole world to ashes. He wishes he could explain to Fyodor but then he would have to talk about Dazai and Fyodor doesn't even know who, that is. Besides, he’s really not up for talking about Dazai, period.
Which is why Chuuya almost gets a heart attack when Fyodor sighs and says, “I'm not Dazai.”
That spurs Chuuya into sitting up and he faces Fyodor with confusion on his face even as his heart thumps wildly in his chest. He doesn't remember mentioning a word about Dazai to Fyodor so why is his boyfriend suddenly bringing that man up? How does Fyodor even know that name? Fuck, he must have said something the previous night and try as he might to rack his brain, he cannot remember a single thing.
“I don't know – ”
“You were moaning his name before you started crying,” Fyodor says and it looks as if that admission is too much for Fyodor. The man glances at Chuuya once before he shakes his head and turns away, pain etched deep in the lines of his face. It would have been better if he had worn a look of disgust on his face but he only seems heartbroken and Chuuya feels so terrible for putting him through this. “We... we've been together for two years, Chuuya, and you've never mentioned Dazai before.”
Chuuya keeps quiet. He doesn't really want to tell Fyodor about it. He had intended to but then it felt right to wait until they were actually dating. One month into their relationship and Chuuya thought it would be better to wait till the honeymoon phase was over. And then he wanted to wait until they were stable. And then six months became a year, and eventually two years passed but he still kept that to himself, making what was supposed to be just a painful past into a dirty secret. It feels like his whole life is one big dirty secret, and he doesn't know how to begin telling Fyodor about Dazai now.
“Fyodor,” Chuuya says, reaching out to grab his hand but the man pulls his hand away and that action pinches Chuuya's heart.
“I have to go to work,” Fyodor says. “We'll talk tonight, okay?”
“O-” Chuuya doesn't even manage to finish the word before Fyodor is already slipping off the bed and closing the door behind him.
Chuuya buries his face in his hands, feeling the onslaught of tears but not actually letting them out. It's a bitter feeling, one that he swallows as he lies back down and hides under the blanket, because he has no rights to be feeling this way when he's the one who's hurting Fyodor so badly.
*
It feels too much to work on Takahashi's dress that day. Since Chuuya has already gotten the basic outline done and even has some sort of idea about the colours and fabrics he intends to use for the dress, he doesn't feel guilty about working on other his other projects instead. Truth be told, they bring him more joy anyway. With Takahashi’s dress, he’s crafting an apology. With his other works, he’s creating art.
Sometime after their lunch break, Kouyou perches herself opposite him, watching him like a hawk watches its prey as she sips her tea. She doesn't say anything and when her stare becomes too overbearing, Chuuya places his pencil down and looks up at her with a smile.
“What is it, dearest sister?”
“Something's wrong.”
Chuuya rolls his eyes. “Nee-san, you are not Sherlock Holmes even if you have read all the books and watched all the shows.”
Kouyou scoffs though she doesn't deny the accusations. “There's something wrong with you.”
“I feel perfectly fine.”
“Fought with Fyodor?”
Chuuya swallows thickly and Kouyou lets out a small scoff, seeing through him right away. She always does and it’s so unfair. Chuuya remembers how glad he was that she was in Paris while he was living back in Japan – she would have put a stop to all those coffee meet-ups so fast they wouldn't have happened more than twice. In retrospect, that might have been better though Chuuya can’t say for certain he’s willing to give those few precious moments up.
“Look, your sister is pregnant and can't be agitated so you better fess up before my hormones take over.”
“That's exactly why I don't want to tell you anything,” Chuuya mumbles underneath his breath.
Kouyou might as well be a detective since she has apparently managed to figure out exactly what is bothering Chuuya from that statement alone. She slams her cup onto the table, its contents sloshing out, and Chuuya only narrowly manages to save his work. He chances a glance at her face and she is positively livid.
“Is Dazai here?” she hisses.
“Mind your temper,” Chuuya complains as he gestures to her stomach. “You really shouldn't be this agitated when you're pregnant.”
“Answer the question, you brat.”
“Yes, but,” Chuuya raises his voice before Kouyou can interrupt him, “we haven't talked. At all. Relax.”
Kouyou huffs as she folds her arms. “So what has gotten your panties into a twist?”
Chuuya lets the insult slide only because Kouyou is agitated enough as it is. “Well, his wife ordered a dress.”
“Reject it?”
“What? No! I already have a draft.”
“I meant when she asked you,” Kouyou deadpans before glaring at him. “Dumbass.”
“That would make me look guilty.”
Kouyou opens her mouth before closing it. She sighs as she takes some tissue and dabs at the spilt tea. “You did the best you could. You just fell in love with the wrong guy.”
“He isn't – ” Chuuya stops himself from finishing that instinctive, self-incriminatory sentence. He feels like he should say something to defend himself but there’s no point; Kouyou already knows how he truly feels.
But his sister doesn’t immediately say anything to that as she stands up, picking her cup up as she makes her way back to her desk. “No wonder you fought with Fyodor,” is all she says before she returns to her work.
Chuuya feels a lot more frustrated than when he first came into work. He wants to yell at Kouyou just because it would be an outlet for the steaming emotions in him and he would have if she wasn't a) pregnant and b) right. It’s also unfair to take his annoyance out on her. Plus, it's only because she's right that he feels so angry so yelling at her isn’t justifiable at all.
“If you need to, take the rest of the day off, Chuuya.”
Chuuya knows that Kouyou’s just being concerned about him but he simply harrumphs before returning to his work. He needs to be distracted and wandering around Paris just means the possibility of bumping in Dazai and his family so, no, he's going to be sitting right here before heading straight home to talk to Fyodor. The thought sends heart pounding and head thrumming.
Gosh, he wishes time would crawl because it certainly feels like the countdown to the apocalypse has started.
*
Dazai watches Eiji giggling by the pond as he plays with his remote boat with a contented smile resting on his face. Hirotsu, their butler, keeps a close eye on the child, making sure he doesn't fall into the water in his excitement. It’s a beautiful day with clear skies, soured only slightly because of the resemblance that crystal blue bears to a set of eyes. Dazai lets out a soft sigh as he returns to his book.
His mind drifts to a time in the past where he and Chuuya had sat at this particular bench, each reading their own books while basking in the sunlight with the happy noises of children more soothing than any music. That had been more than a decade ago when they had taken a trip after graduating from high school. They hadn’t been anything more than friends but Dazai had never felt so closely connected to anyone else. That was when he knew –
I love you.
Though he never uttered it for fear of breaking a friendship. And that fear, rendered so dumb and inconsequential with the passage of time, resulted in a chain of events that produced more wrongs than rights, creating more sad people than happy people in an already unhappy world.
Idly, Dazai lets himself imagine the warmth of a body beside, the image coming to him as easily as always. He can see Chuuya next to him, red hair curled down his cheek as he reads a book, face scrunched up at something a character says before he turns to Dazai and points out what an asshole that character is. Chuuya used to be so free with his expressions and emotions. The person Dazai had seen the previous night wears a guarded expression and has lines of regret pressed onto his face. Knowing he had created that sad person makes Dazai’s heart twinges. How he would give anything to ensure that Chuuya be happy once more. Even if that can only be achieved by setting Chuuya’s heart free and letting it go to another man, Dazai is still more than willing.
Footsteps approach him and Dazai looks up to find Miya with two coffee cups in hand.
“Black, just the way you like it,” Miya says with a smile.
Dazai smiles and thanks her as he takes the coffee cup from her. Black coffee isn’t really his favourite, not even by a far shot. He prefers cappuccino or even mocha on some days but it feels right to drink black coffee and so that’s what he does. Besides, he never needed sugar when he had Chuuya’s smile. The thought makes the black liquid taste worse than usual on his tongue.
“You don’t have to thank me for such a small matter,” Miya says as she takes a seat beside him. “We’re married after all.”
“I know,” Dazai says, “but thank you anyway.”
And sorry. For putting up with me. For making you go through all these.
Miya doesn't say anything though her face softens into a gentle smile as Eiji’s laughter reaches their ears. Dazai glances at his wife out of the corner of his eyes. Miya’s a beautiful woman, always has been, and he knows that more than a few of their classmates in university had a crush on her. Even now, Dazai’s certain that a few of their employees are practically in love with her. It’s not just for her looks. She’s also intelligent and witty, and Dazai’s sure that there’s no other person in the world who could have tolerated him as well as she did over the past ten years.
She could have anyone she wants and she’s stuck with him. He only wants one person but he’s stuck with her. And they both chose this willingly.
The irony – is it really irony or just a playful trick by heaven? – makes him laugh and Miya turns to him.
“You seem happy today,” she states.
“You do too,” Dazai says.
They share a smile that speaks the truth. They’re never truly happy but they’re capable of looking like so.
“I am,” she affirms as she turns back to their son. “He makes me so happy.”
A poignant smile touches Dazai’s lips as Eiji shouts at them to go over. “He makes me happy too.”
At least there’s only truth in that. At least there’s happiness in these small moments.
Dazai stands up and offers his hand to his wife. “Well, let’s go before he starts throwing a tantrum. Oh, and we should get him some crepes as well.”
Miya scoffs as she takes his hand though the smile on her face is genuine this time. “You spoil him. It’s lucky we didn’t have a girl.”
“If we had a girl, I’d give her anything she wants,” Dazai agrees as they share a laugh.
*
Fyodor is already home when Chuuya goes to his apartment.
“Hey,” he greets when Fyodor opens the door.
“Hi,” Fyodor replies with a smile but doesn't kiss or hug him like he usually does.
Chuuya bites his lower lips. They suddenly feel like strangers again. He cannot help but feel that things are already falling apart, as they always do whenever Dazai is involved. It’s not Dazai’s fault; it’s Chuuya’s because he lets Dazai affect him.
The apartment is a lot sparser than that morning when Chuuya left. Fyodor's leaving for the United States in two weeks because he has been offered a fellowship at a university there. He’s supposed to go for two years but now it feels as if Chuuya’s going to lose him forever if he lets him go.
“Do you need any help?” Chuuya asks.
Fyodor shakes his head. “I've packed everything I need.”
“Right.”
The silence seems to stretch on forever. It's like a rope around Chuuya's neck and every second that passes causes the rope to tighten. Chuuya feels like he's suffocating. He wishes Fyodor would say something but then immediately regrets wishing that when Fyodor actually does.
“Who's Dazai?”
Chuuya averts his eyes. He wills his mouth to work but it remains firmly shut. Seconds tick by, each a nail on the coffin of their relationship and yet Chuuya still can’t say anything.
“You don't need to tell me. I already know.”
Chuuya's eyes snap over to Fyodor. “What do you – ”
“He's the man you love.”
Chuuya's mouth clamps shut as he stares at Fyodor. He begins to shake his head but Fyodor merely smiles at him.
“We've been together for a while now, Chuuya,” Fyodor says softly. “You don't think I haven't noticed how your heart isn't truly with me?”
“Fyodor, I – ”
“I thought I could bear it but it turns out I can't.”
Chuuya's heart feels like it has been plunged into icy waters. “What are you saying?”
“They offered me a tenure position,” Fyodor says calmly as he looks away from Chuuya. “I know we said we were going to try to a long distance relatioship and so I was going to reject that offer but now... now it feels like I should take it.”
No, no, you can't. What will happen to me? Please, Fyodor, don't take it. Go for two years and then come back to me.
Those are the words that Chuuya desperately wants to say but he's unable to do it. He can’t do it. It would be too selfish. A tenure position right off the bat is a rare opportunity and who is Chuuya to tell Fyodor to give that up for him? But still... he wants to tell those things to Fyodor. He really does because Fyodor is important to him and they can't just end like that. They were still fine the previous day. How could things just change so quickly? How are they ending?
No, Chuuya doesn't like it.
Fyodor laughs, breaking up his internal struggle.
“You can't even tell me to reject it, can you?”
“I... it's too good an opportunity.”
Chuuya curses himself. His mouth is working on autopilot.
Fyodor shakes his head. “It's not because of that.” He turns back to Chuuya, pain in his eyes. “I would have asked you to go with me. But you won’t ask me to reject it and come back to you because you don't love me that much. You don't love me enough to tell me to choose you because you have no confidence in choosing me if you’re forced to make a choice between me and – ”
Fyodor breaks off and Chuuya’s almost grateful for that small mercy if it wasn’t for the anguish look on Fyodor’s face. The man is pointedly not looking at him, his gaze cast downwards as he stare off in the direction opposite from Chuuya.
“Fyodor...”
“I love you.”
Chuuya falls silent, tears threatening to spill. Why? Why does Fyodor have to tell him this now? He knows that Chuuya can’t –
“I know you can't say it back because you don't feel the same way but I wanted to let you know anyway. This is my first time and last time telling it to you.”
Chuuya chokes on a sob and Fyodor walks over to him, pulling him into a gentle hug as he rubs his back soothingly.
“It's okay, Chuuya, it's okay. We'll be alright.”
“Why?” Chuuya asks as he grips Fyodor's shirt tightly. “Why are you the one comforting me?”
Fyodor doesn't say anything as he just holds Chuuya close to him. The redhead pulls away and looks up at Fyodor before he pulls him down into a desperate kiss.
Just one last time. Let me say goodbye.
*
In the morning, they share one final breakfast together, one that's filled with laughter and forgiveness though pain and regret still manage to slither their way into the cracks.
“Goodbye, Chuuya,” Fyodor says after walking Chuuya to the door.
“Goodbye, Fyodor. I wish you all the best in life. You deserve everything good in the world.”
How Chuuya wishes he could be the one to give Fyodor those things, but he knows that he can’t so letting Fyodor go is the best thing he can do for him.
Fyodor smiles and leans down to press a kiss on Chuuya's forehead. “Don't beat yourself up too much; you deserve happiness too.”
Chuuya's heart is a mix of sour and tender emotions as Fyodor pulls away from him.
“Do feel a bit of guilt though, you deserve that,” Fyodor jokes and Chuuya laughs even as his heart chokes on tears; he doesn't deserve this kindness. Fyodor’s smile fades from his face and he gives Chuuya one last tender look. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a phone call to make.”
Chuuya nods and it feels like a part of him is ripped away as the door closes. He stands in the doorway for a few minutes, staring at the closed door and the short period of bliss that's behind it, a place that he no longer has access to now. It feels strange to think that he would never again walk down the boulevard to this apartment, that he would never again see this door – such simple things yet they produce such profound feelings.
Goodbye, he thinks as he presses his hand to the door, goodbye, and thank you. Thank you so much for everything.
He thinks he can feel a palm pressing back through the wood and a watery smile touches his lips before he pulls his hand away and stuffs it into his pocket, walking away and taking only the good memories away with him.
*
Chuuya did contemplate seeing Fyodor off at the airport but the man hadn't contacted him in any way so Chuuya feels like bidding him goodbye like this is the best thing to do. It's a Sunday so he spends the day at a seaside cafe near the airport and counts the planes that pass by, sending special well wishes to the plane that flies by at three in the afternoon. Doing that eases his feelings and he feels as if he has done something to redeem himself.
When he returns home that night, he falls into a dreamless slumber. Upon waking up feeling refreshed and recharged, he realises that the reason he's feeling lighter is because the heavy guilt that used to sit in his heart has now dissipated. He had let Fyodor go instead of keeping him chained in a relationship that couldn't have blossomed true love and that makes him feel a lot better about himself.
He drops by his favourite cafe to have breakfast, ordering his usual set of croissant and a noisette. He takes a sip of his coffee and freezes when a familiar lanky man enters the cafe. Time always did seem to stop whenever Dazai came by Serendipity, and how Chuuya had wished so many times before that time would just stay in place for all eternity. A quick check to the door shows that Dazai's all by himself. Chuuya doesn't know what he’s hoping for but he finds his heart skipping a beat when Dazai makes his way over to him.
“Is this seat taken?”
Chuuya stares at Dazai, sees the hesitance and fear in his eyes and it’s so wrong how he feels so much better just looking at this man. Even though it’s wrong, he thinks let me be selfish one more time.
“No.”
A brief surprise crosses Dazai’s eyes as he smiles brightly, that brightness enough to warm Chuuya’s heart and make him feel as if this is right. It always makes him feel as if there’s nothing wrong in the world.
“I’ll just order a cup of coffee and be right back.”
Chuuya nods and watches as Dazai walks over to the counter, his steps light and happy. He’s suddenly thrown back to the past and the coffee shop melts away into a very different one. Chuuya can see the elegant cursive of Serendipity printed backwards as he looks at the name from inside the café. He watches Dazai at the counter and his heart flutters as it always did whenever he waits for Dazai to come back to their table, to him. Over the past two years, there had been many a time where he had been rudely awakened upon realising that Dazai is but a shadow of his imagination. This time, though, Dazai doesn’t disappear. He walks back to him with a smile on his face.
Good, just always smile like that. Just always be this happy.
Chuuya smiles at Dazai as the man takes a seat opposite him. He takes a glance at Dazai’s coffee.
“Mocha,” Chuuya says in astonishment before he can help himself. “It’s been a while since you’ve had that.”
Dazai smiles at him, sweet and gentle. “It’s my – ”
“It’s your favourite, I know, but you’ve just always been having black coffee…” Chuuya trails off and he looks away, a pained expression on his face. Dazai knows that Chuuya had lost himself in a time in the past. He doesn’t blame him; he often finds himself going astray as well.
Even if it’s only for a while…
Dazai puts on a huge smile.
“Ah, I can’t believe you’re wearing that atrocious hat yet again. It’s even blue this time.”
“Shut up, mackerel,” Chuuya retorts, rolling his eyes even as the smile threatens to spilt his face into half because of how wide it is. “I wear hats every day. As if you don’t know that.”
“And I tell you what a great disservice it is to fashion every day,” Dazai exclaims. “You really should know better, being a fashion designer and all.”
“I do know better, which is why you should keep your unsophisticated opinions to yourself, you heathen.”
They continue to banter back and forth and Chuuya’s heart feels like it’s about to burst as it battles between pure happiness and twisting agony. What they’re doing is a sham; it always has been. Stealing moments and coveting each other’s touch – no one can expect to get away with theft, and late payments are always doubled.
Chuuya really wants to kiss Dazai and as always it’s hard to look away. But he manages it. He always does even if it rips him apart on the inside. How can doing the right thing be so painful? But of course it is. It’s easy to sin and sinning makes people feel good or they wouldn’t do it despite knowing it’s wrong. What a paradoxical world – punished for doing the right things and rewarded for doing the wrong things. Yes, karma always comes around but why give pleasure to wrongdoers in the first place? Why tempt people into sin? It doesn’t make sense.
“You’re drinking a noisette,” Dazai points out.
Chuuya raises an eyebrow, acting amused even as his heart aches. “It’s not really hazelnut.”
Dazai laughs. “I might not be fluent in French like you but even I know that, okay?”
Chuuya laughs as well but the mood has shifted and he can feel it. The ruse is up and they can’t pretend much longer. Still, he begs for more time.
Ah, I’m so greedy. Always so greedy.
“Chuuya.”
Chuuya lets out a sigh and closes his eyes, his body shivering pleasantly just from the way Dazai says his name, like a cool breeze on a summer’s day. When he opens his eyes, Dazai is watching him closely and that just makes him feel worse. The itchiness from two weeks ago is back and he feels like scratching his skin out.
“A noisette is really bitter, isn’t it?”
“It’s not as bitter as the black coffee you usually drink,” Chuuya replies softly because it’s true – Dazai has always been suffering more than him. Chuuya only has to deal with the guilt of stealing someone’s husband. Dazai has to deal with the guilt of disappointing and betraying his wife, of having a sham of a marriage, of lying to his son and pretending to be a better man than he is. And before that, he bore the pain of loving Chuuya unconditionally, of the multiple times Chuuya had rejected him, of listening to Chuuya and marrying Miya, of agreeing to Chuuya’s first invitation to that coffee meeting, of trying to ensure Chuuya is happy despite everything. Chuuya has to look away from Dazai because he knows that he has destroyed that man and there’s nothing he can do to make up for it.
Your greatest mistake is loving me, and the best thing I did is to love you even though I realised that too late.
“How are you and your boyfriend?” Dazai asks.
Chuuya doesn't know how Dazai knows about Fyodor but he doesn't really care. All he says is, “we’ve broken up,” and if there’s meaning in his eyes, then it’s up to Dazai to interpret it as he likes.
“Chuuya?”
It’s only then that Chuuya realises that he hasn’t said anything yet.
Come on, be selfish one more time. You’re going to hell anyway; does it matter if you burn?
“We’re doing fine,” Chuuya says with a smile. “We’re happy. Are you happy?”
Dazai smiles. “Yes, I’m happy.”
And even though they both know it’s a lie just like the last time they said it, they let themselves believe it. Because only then is it easier to live.
*
“Mama, isn’t that papa and Chuuya-san?” Eiji asks as he tugs at the hem of his mother’s dress.
Tachihara stares at the couple in the café for a few more seconds as she recalls standing outside a very different café but looking in at the same two people before she laughs lightly and picks her son up. “Yes, it is.”
“Should we go in and say hi?”
“Oh no, papa said he wanted to say goodbye to a friend before we leave, right? We shouldn’t interrupt him.”
“Oh, alright then,” Eiji says with a smile. “Can we go have some macaroons then?”
“Of course, darling. Anything you want.”
*
To say that he hadn’t expected Takahashi to show up at the boutique would be an understatement. Chuuya places a trained smile on his face as he makes his way to her. He can’t help but think that she has found out about Dazai seeing him in the café that morning.
“Miya,” he greets lightly, “last minute shopping?”
“Not really,” Takahashi replies with a smile. “I came to see you actually, Chuuya.”
Chuuya’s heart almost stops “Oh, what about?” He pauses for but a fraction of a second before he immediately starts talking again. “Ah, do you want to see the drawing of your dress? I have it in my office. Just a minute.”
Chuuya escapes upstairs before Takahashi replies. Once he closes the door behind him, he leans against it, his breaths escaping in harsh pants. He’s glad that Kouyou has a doctor’s appointment that day. If not, she would surely kick up a fuss and might even go down to confront Takahashi herself, and Chuuya would rather be swallowed by a whale than see that happen. He takes a few deep breaths before he stanches the draft off his desk and returns to the boutique.
“It’s beautiful,” Takahashi says as she looks over the drawing and Chuuya feels a lot better because she does seem to genuinely like it and she does seem to be truly happy.
“I should be able make it and have it sent to you in a week or so. It’ll probably arrive about two weeks before your anniversary party. Is that okay?”
“Oh, it’s more than okay, Chuuya. Thank you so much for your work!”
“I’m only doing my job,” Chuuya replies with a smile, feeling proud at having made a customer so happy. These moments are the ones he strives for. Of course he enjoys the creating process as well but there’s no better feeling in the world knowing that his hard work and effort are appreciated.
“Oh, but I have a request and I hope you would be able to grant it.”
“Oh, is the colour not to your liking? This is just a draft and I could definitely make it lighter or darker depending on what you like. And I could also redesign anything you’re – ”
“The dress is perfect, Chuuya,” Takahashi says kindly.
Chuuya starts to panic. If it isn’t about the dress, then it certainly has to be about Dazai. He smiles at her tersely, hoping his anxiety doesn't show on his face. She observes him carefully for a few moments before looking away.
“It’s just the dress is so perfect and I’d hate for it to be damaged on its way to Japan.”
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll make sure – ”
“If possible, I would like you to deliver it personally instead. In fact – ” Takahashi reaches into her bag and pulls a card out. Chuuya’s heart freezes as he recognises it for what it is. “ – I would like to invite you to our anniversary party.”
Chuuya takes the card with hands that he barely prevents from shaking. The words Dazai Osamu & Takahashi Miya emblazoned on the front of the card in gold make him grip the it harder than he should.
“It has been a while since you’ve returned to Japan, right? And you’ve always been busy to busy to attend our previous parties. Take it as if you’re making it up to me.”
Chuuya swallows thickly. He wants so desperately to reject her because surely she is just punishing him and he doesn't have to put up with it. Still, how can he do that? Like Dazai, he is powerless to refuse any of her requests.
“I’ll be there,” Chuuya says with a smile even as his heart is tearing up. There’s a reason why he has always been mysteriously swamped with work during their wedding anniversaries. Seeing Dazai happily married to someone else… Chuuya would rather stab his own eyes out.
“Great! There’s a surprise inside,” Takahashi says with a wink before she bids Chuuya goodbye and leaves the store.
Chuuya opens the card and lets out a sigh when he sees a return ticket to Japan inside.
Guess there’s no escaping it.