Chapter Text
Stand up straight, you aren’t that much shorter than Jeremy.
Michael slouched even further into his hoodie.
Jeremy rolled his eyes and prodded him back into his regular (admittedly shitty) posture, muttering to him quietly as they waited for the nurses to finish checking on Rich, “Dude I know we both hate that thing but that’s not even comfortable, don’t hurt yourself to spite it,”
You were supposed to be smarter than Jeremy too.
Jake gave the lanky boy a disapproving little frown and tugged Michael a little closer to him and away from the prodding fingers, wrapping his arms around his waist. He buried his nose into the by now comforting material of Michael’s hoodie and took a slow, deep breath.
“Is it saying anything ‘bout us?” Michael shushed his boyfriend, giving a nervous glance towards the nurses, forcing an awkward smile when the younger woman looked back. She stroked Rich’s hair back and away from his face before she left and offered them a soft farewell. All three of them let out a sigh of relief.
“It said Jeremy’s tall and smart, nothing about you right now,” it had had a lot to say about Jake last night- specifically the multitude of ways that logically he should be with anyone besides Michael.
The truth hurts sometimes Michael. I’m only doing what I was programmed to do. You don’t have to take my advice, it is simply recommended.
Michael ignored it and leaned into Jake’s arms, they squeezed around his middle affectionately and he allowed his eyes to flutter closed for a few seconds. It had woken him up after five hours telling him it had worked out an exercise regime if he was interested. He was not. He was interested in sleep.
Studies show that people with a lower level of activity need less sleep to function at their best. I thought you would appreciate the extra time to do… whatever it is you do. Video games, perhaps? Pining for someone other than your boyfriend?
’I’m pretty sure that’s bullshit but whatever. Just don’t wake me up again.’
He’d ignored the dig at his feelings.
“Michael?” Jeremy gave his earring a little tug, “What’s it saying, you spaced out again,”
“What- oh, no, sorry, I was telling it to let me sleep tonight, it woke me up early this morning,” Jake gave a vague yet concerned little mumble and tugged him even closer.
He can feel how unfit you are. You may wish to avoid letting him touch your midsection if you want to keep him as you are.
“He doesn’t care and neither do I. Fuck, I can’t wait to get rid of you,”
Jake raised his eyebrows, “What?”
“It’s telling me I’m fat but in that weird passive aggressive way where for some reason it thinks I don’t know exactly what it’s doing,”
What I am doing is trying to help.
’Real Bob Marley would never treat me like this.’
If you are unhappy with this form you can also set me for The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Pikachu, or Sir David Attenborough.
’No you’ve already ruined Marley for me, don’t get your grubby little holofingers over them too.’
There is no need to be so difficult Michael.
Michael realised they’d been talking at him again- fuck, he was really going to have to tell this thing to stop talking to him while he was with people, he couldn’t focus on both.
I did attempt to help you with that if you recall. You had me undo it.
Fine though, I will stop helping.
It had said that four times now. Michael could tell it wasn’t going to stop ‘helping’, though whether that was a fault in its programming or sheer almost human stubbornness he couldn’t say.
“Did you hear any of that?”
Jeremy had started picking at his nails anxiously, Michael took his hand and shook his head, “Sorry, I told it to shut down, what did you say?”
“You’re not fat, you’re cute,” Jeremy gave his hand a scolding little squeeze. Michael didn’t see why he couldn’t be both, but he just shrugged.
“I don’t care,”
“Rich said his was a huge dick about that stuff too,” Jake tightened his hold on Michael protectively, “I dunno what the big deal is, chub is cute,”
Michael just shrugged. He didn’t like thinking about it too much, his stupid brain always tried to latch onto it and drag him fuckdeep into a depression session, which was always immensely stupid to deal with because he just genuinely didn’t care. He didn’t.
“Whatever, let’s just get this over with, I don’t wanna deal with this obnoxious asshole any longer than I have to,”
Rude.
“Fuck off,”
Give me ten minutes.
’It’s going to take you that long?’
No. I just don’t like you.
“Fake Marley’s being a little bitch so it’s gonna take ten minutes to do… whatever the hell it’s actually doing,”
I’m syncing up with his Squip to see what’s happening. This behaviour is highly irregular, I can assure you we are not all like that.
’Yeah, not all Squips, whatever, don’t care, just do it.’
Jake looked to Jeremy while Michael zoned out again. He’d hung out with him long enough by now to know when he was just having a bad focus day- one particularly fun one was when he’d come to visit only to find Michael had ended up hopping between three different consoles every so often and was managing to kick ass on every one of them. Jake loved this fucking nerd. This was worse than that. He could usually follow conversations if nothing else.
“Has he been like this since…?” Jeremy nodded, reminding himself to chew on the rubber necklace Jenna had gotten him after he’d made his nails bleed. Jake frowned. He still wasn’t down with this plan, he hadn’t been since the beginning. He’d already nearly lost his best friend to this thing, he didn’t want to lose his boyfriend too. He knew how Michael worked, maybe not as well as Jeremy did, but he knew enough to know that Michael wouldn’t willingly let either of them know if this thing was giving him a hard time.
Michael based his worldview around what he perceived to be immutable facts. He would never be cool, so he wouldn’t try to be, he didn’t care what people thought of him, so he would just do what made him happy- both things that had drawn Jake to him in the first place, not everything about this mindset was bad. No, what was bad about it were things that kept him from expressing himself when it came to anything negative. Michael is happy, so he can’t allow himself to be upset. Michael liked himself, so he wasn’t allowed any insecurities. Michael doesn’t care what people think of him, so he’ll ignore any problem that implies he does.
Jake knew he wasn’t entirely comfortable with his chub, he could tell in the way he’d tensed up the first time he’d hugged him round the waist, and his thinly veiled hesitance in taking his hoodie off despite being perfectly fine doing so when Jake was a near stranger, but Michael had never actually said anything. Jake didn’t like the idea of that thing in his head preying on that, and if he knew anything about Jeremy (and he knew a few things about Jeremy), he wouldn’t either.
“It’s definitely that thing keeping him asleep, it says it’s… recalibrating him or something, I have no idea what that means but it can’t be good,”
Recalibration requires a total rewiring. It can take a while though, brains are tricky even for us. Did you know all maps of the human brain are approximations? The exacts differ from person to person. I thought you would find that interesting. Anyway, by this point he’s regretting his turtle names at most.
“Rich has turtles?” he ignored the brain map thing, the Squip had been plying him with little fun facts every so often, probably trying to win him over. He already knew that though. He also knew it was why some people had foot fetishes. Michael’s pool of knowledge was as vast as it was useless.
“He has lizards named after turtles,” Jake said, pulling Michael closer again.
I can see why he needed our help.
Michael rolled his eyes and rested his hands on Jake’s, “It’s trying to rewire him to be more... compliant or whatever, but it’s taking a while, we have time,”
Jeremy chewed his necklace some more, “I don’t think we should leave that thing in him any longer than we have to, we can forget about Christine if we need to,” he didn’t want to. Michael could tell he really didn’t want to, Jeremy was a good guy but Michael would be the first to admit his single-mindedness when it came to Christine really was something to behold.
’Hey. How long do you think until it starts making a big difference?’
I’d say a week or so. You have time to get Jeremy a date.
’Not a date, a conversation. We don’t know if she’s interested yet.
Oh, she isn’t. I can see from your memories. Christine Canigula has no romantic interest in Jeremy Heere.
’I still want them to talk. He could use more friends, he likes people.’
You are a strange one. Would you like to know if Jeremy harbours any romantic interest in you?
’Jeremy’s straight, don’t be a dick.’
He has said himself that he might not be.
...Fuck. That was true, Michael had forgotten all about it with everything else going on right now. He’d have to ask him about that later.
’Either way I don’t want to know.’
A concrete no felt like it would be harder to deal with than the maybe, maybe not pining, somehow. Not that he’d do anything about it regardless, Jake didn’t want to share him and he was fine with that.
Are you though? I can take care of this… polyamory thing if you would let me.
“I don’t fucking want you to, stop doing that!”
Jeremy and Jake both jumped, startled away from their quiet conversation at his outburst, he quickly reigned himself back in and shook his head, attempting a smile to calm their nerves.
“Sorry, it tried to fix shit that doesn’t need fixing again,” he told the Squip to shut down and just flopped against Jeremy with a sigh. Jake was his boyfriend but Jeremy was still his best friend, he was still the most stable, secure source of comfort Michael had. Jeremy was glad for that as he wrapped his useless noodle arms around him and played with his hair until he drifted off for a nap.
*
Jeremy: hey so
Jeremy: were worried about michael right
Jake: big time bromeo 8(
Jake: i dont trust that thing at all
Jeremy: its such a dick to him!!!!
Jeremy: nothing about michael needs changing or fixing or whatever!!!
Jake: i know!! >:( michaels perfect as he is >:(((
Jake: do you think you could get him to drink the red anytime soon??
Jeremy: ive been trying, hes deadset on getting me to talk to christine
Jeremy: i dont even think i want it anymore if its going to do this to him :(
Jeremy: its not like christine would ever be interested in me anyway
Jake: bro!!! dont talk like that, you dont know!!!
Jake: even if she isnt thats not because theres something wrong with you its just cause you aint right for each other in that way!!
Jeremy: youre a lot more
Jeremy: smarter
Jeremy: than i thought youd be
Jeremy: fuck, more smarter????
Jeremy: its been a long day
Jake: its chill homie i know what you mean B)
Jake: i aint smart though lmao im a dumbass
Jake: brookes gotta help me with school shit most the time
Jeremy: grades arent everything
Jeremy: michaels super smart and his grades are abysmal
Jeremy: im pretty sure he does my homework more than he does his own
Jeremy: apparently he has to do his so its boring, he doesnt have to do mine so its fun
Jake: you just let him do your homework??
Jeremy: not by choice. he does it when im not looking
Jake: hes a weird dude
Jeremy: he really is
Jeremy: hes never done a single presentation either
Jeremy: and we both skip gym
Jeremy: he does just enough to be able to graduate
Jake: huh
Jake: i thought you two were just in another class for gym
Jeremy: theres only one gym class, we just never go
Jeremy: Humiliation Station
Jeremy: especially the changing rooms
Jake: oh
Jake: yeah i guess that can be a little weird
Jake: is he okay though??
Jeremy: what do you mean
Jeremy: we both know he isnt okay right now
Jake: no i mean like
Jake: nvm its whatever hes fine
Jake: shit i gotta go the nurses are doing their rounds im supposed to be asleep rn
Jeremy: night dude
Jeremy: ill work on michael, dw about him
*
Did you hear that Rich?
I told you they don’t care about you.
It’s okay, though.
You still have me.
:-]