Chapter Text
Wade was used to the underworld. He was used all the so-called heroes that barged in and demanded he give them back a dead lover or something. He got used to having nobody around except for Cerberus and the pains in his godly ass known as White and Yellow, two demons who would simply not leave him alone.
He woke up the same way per usual, one of the demons were bothering him. This time it was White, screeching like a banshee about Cerberus' barking. Naturally to get the demon to stop yelling, he got up and went to investigate. Cerberus was a long way from his palace, so Wade had time to say good morning to the souls of the damned and the 'heroes' on their stupid island. Even got a chance to stop for a quick bite of a pomegranate.
Once wade finally got to Cerberus' post, which was closer to the gates of Hades as to ward off heroes and scare the damned who tried to escape, he saw someone he thought he would never have the pleasure of meeting; Peter, the God of spring and flowers was petting his guard dog like he didn't have three heads and was twenty feet tall. Wade couldn't help but stare in awe as the scrawniest God he had ever seen loved on his gate keeper. After a while, the kid finally noticed him and walked over. He just barely came up to Wade's shoulder, only making due to those unruly brown locks.
"Hello. I like your dog." Peter piped up, thrusting a hand in Wade's direction, which Wade took. Peter's hand was a little small compared to Wade's, to be honest everything Peter had was a bit smaller than Wade.
"His name's Cerberus. What's a pretty little thing like you doing here?"He bent down a little so he could properly see the brunette's eyes. They were a deep brown earthy colour, like rich soil or chocolate. Wade stood a tall six-foot-two compared to Peter's five-foot-eight, and the God of spring was a bit underweight in all honestly. He had a baby face and a small frame that made him look like an easy target.
Peter went a little red, and took his hand back. "Well, I just wanted to see what was going on. The others say you're a recluse and you don't like heroes. 'That true?"
Oh, this kid would be torn apart down here. "Of course not, I love people. This isn't Chuck E Cheese, sweetheart; it's not puppies and unicorns down here. You should be with your Father."
"Well, there's a puppy right there." Said Peter, who pointed at Cerberus. "Also I'm an adult, I can do what I want."
Wade couldn't say no to that, besides, a little ray of sunshine like Peter would get absolutely ravaged down here, the souls would latch on to him and never let him go. "Well let's go. I'll let you hang out for awhile, at least until I annoy you." With that, the taller God started walking back to his palace.
During the walk back home, Peter and Wade got intercepted by White and Yellow, who wasted no time making Peter uncomfortable with bad pick-up lines and grabby hands. Wade shooed them away and starting to walk again, but this time a little closer to the smaller God as to ward off any demons or monsters.
Wade's 'palace' was less like a Castle and more like a mansion. Large and winding, ordered yet unruly, a perfect match for his personality. The doors opened and shut on their own as he and Peter walked in, and Wade made sure to point out the way of the kitchen and ballrooms. They checked out the study and the dining room, the sauna, all fifteen bathrooms, and the bed rooms. Wade had offered Peter a stay in his room, but Peter declined politely. Last but not least was the throne room. Overlooking the river Styx was a well decorated room that was decked out in pretty declarations and smack dab in the middle was Wade's throne; A one person seat made with jagged Onyx and silk, little rubies engraved in the back.
The first thing Peter did was sit on it. He sat down and crossed his legs like he owned the place, which Wade found incredibly cute. Nonetheless, Wade stood in front of his throne and leaned down to look Peter in the eye. "As much as I love that look on you, you're gonna have to get out of my seat."
"What if I don't wanna? What if I'm the new King of Hades?" Peter asked with a sly smirk, the little shit.
"The only way your're allowed to sit there is if you're on my lap, Baby Boy."
"Fine, but let it be known that if I'm gonna hang out here, I want my own throne."
"Whoa, whoa little lady, I didn't say anything about you staying-" Wade was cut off by himself when he sat down. Once he finally got a look of what Peter was doing, it was too late. Pete had taken a bite of Hades' sacred fruit, seeds and all. Peter knew he did something wrong too, because looked like a deer in headlights.
"What did you do!?" Wade practically yelled and got up as if staring Peter down will erase what he did.
"I'm sorry! I- Am I gonna die? I can't die, I'm a God!"
Wade pinched his nose with a sigh. "You're not gonna die you spaz. I- I need to call your father. Stay here and don't eat anything."
With that, Wade went to the little fountain he kept so he could send messages Upstairs if he needed to. He put a dollar coin in the fountain and spoke something in Greek. "γεράκι- ακούστε την κλήση μου. bring me to Tony would ya?" he asked to the fountain, which was now sporting a rainbow. The rainbow shimmered into a window of sorts, showing Tony seemingly looking for his son in a field. Tony looked at him with a distressed face that quickly turned into anger. "Where did you put my boy, Wade? I swear if you don't give him back I'll have Steve strike you down."
"Calm down, I didn't take your brat anywhere. he waltzed into Hades, pet my dog, ate Pomegranate.." Wade dragged on.
"He ate what? Why didn't you tell him they were sacred?!"
"I thought he would know!"
"we've gotta work out some sort of joint custody plan-"
"Hold up, I don't want your brat."
"Tough shit. You said yourself, Peter ate the seeds, so he's deeply rooted to the underworld now. Keep him from getting hurt while I think on how to fix this." Tony gave Wade on more malicious look before he waved his hand, ending the 'call'.
Looks like he's stuck with the kid, for now anyways. He strolled back into the throne room to see Peter in his seat yet again. A pointed glare was all it took to get the smaller God out of his seat and standing in front of Wade. "Well, am I leaving?" Peter asked with hope in his voice, hope to leave or stay Wade didn't know.
"No, Not yet baby boy. Since you ate the fruit of the dead, you're probably gonna be here for awhile. Your dad is working out a plan as we speak, but for now you're stuck with me." Wade answered, putting an arm around Peter reassuringly.
"Does that mean I can get a throne now?"
"Maybe, but my lap is always open."
Peter laughed at that: a bubbly, infectious laugh that told Wade it was gonna be a lovely few weeks.